More Harmony, Please

This past week was a doozy.

It seemed everywhere I turned—clients, friends, school, family, businesses—people were in disequilibrium.

On a personal note, it makes sense that I would experience some resistance given that on top of our busiest month of the year (personally and professionally), I’m stepping into a New Way of Being and guiding others on this journey too! Read more. Nothing stirs up the pot like deciding to make a quantum change in how you live and work.

So for our family this past weekend and moving forward, it’s back to basics. As we prepare for an exciting but very full next three weeks, we are:

• making a conscious choice to pause before we say “yes” to more activity and to scale back as much as possible on extracurriculars so we can create more breathing room
• eating simply (yesterday’s lunch of baked potatoes and broccoli was perfect—and loaded with fiber and serotonin boosters!)
• consciously spending time in nature (we said no to numerous weekend activities so we could all participate in a small family camping trip to Krause Springs on Saturday)
• making it a point to create space to just be together as a family even if it’s doing chores side by side  (this doesn’t mean it’s kumbaya all day: yesterday my son unleashed a tsunami on us after we asked him to clean the bathroom!)
• practicing “good is good enough”—and being mindful about giving our attention to things which matter most rather than things which matter least
• over-communicating with one another so we’re aware of what each person is navigating and can be more compassionate with one another
• making sure we’re all going to bed early and getting plenty of sleep to boost our immune systems and enhance our moods/energy levels

Given all that we’re navigating right now (collectively and individually), I thought you might enjoy hearing from other families around the U.S. on how they enhance harmony and emotional well-being in the everyday.

Below are some of the unedited responses we received from the more than 130 families that responded when I surveyed them for my new book this past summer. (Read more.)

I'd love to hear how you enhance harmony and emotional well-being in your everyday life here.

     Q: What enhances your family’s sense of harmony and emotional well-being? (Note: my apologies for the length.There were just so many great responses, I decided to go ahead and list half of them here.)

• getting out in nature together; having down time; deciding nothing needs to get done
• family dinners and allowing space for each one of us to say whatever is on our mind without judgement.
• togetherness. sometimes separateness. music. art. food. laughter. honesty. adventure.
• humor: as parents we like to emulate what the kids do and have fun with it; we familiarize ourselves with their world; activities, tv shows, songs and interact in play; this makes the kids happy
• spending time together just snuggling on the couch, eating dinner together, doing chores together
• we talk endlessly about big ideas and philosophy; unstructured time spent together … sometimes doing nothing, ahhhhhno computer or Internet connection in the home; family dinners and family fun/date nights; open communication; practicing presence with one anothergoing on camping trips together, going to family get-togethers, sharing all the work it takes to care for kids.
• I have to center myself each and every day or I throw everyone else off; spending time listening and meeting the most pressing needs helps too
• nightly family worship; weekly family meetings; going to church together and eating meals together
• doing less; being involved in less activities; making sure that mom and dad get time alone together and apart
• being physically close to each other, making eye contact, laughing!
• everyday rituals: routine expectations, and emphasis on being there for each other in important moments; weekend meals together; sharing our day at bedtime and dinner
• spending time together, eating a sit down dinner and discussing the day; we spend a lot of time in nature, learning about the world around us; we strive to maintain peace in our house which makes everyone happier!
• enjoying shared meals or activities that are more quiet in nature - such as walks or spending time outside. Reading is also a big part of our lives and we share books with our children that represent our values/outlook.
• time spent outdoors, hiking, caring for our garden, reading going to museums and galleries, exploring our great city, making stuff, connecting with friends-- these are all things we do to feel connected and at peace; we encourage our children to feel connected with others by giving time and support to those in need. 
• family dinners, limited TV watching, daily catch-ups, hugs+kisses in the morn/eve and when we say 'hi' + 'bye', attending church + sharing brunch with congregation afterwards, daily check-ins, saying I love you
• working on community projects as a family (park clean up days, build park trails, working at food banks, etc); family game night at least once a week; eating dinner as a family and discussing our day; working on home projects as a family
• laughter, travel to the beach, activities that everyone enjoys (i.e., backyard cookouts and games); playing together 
• not scheduling too many activities in one day, keeping our home free of clutter, going to Mass each week, spending time outside together
• being outdoors in nature; attending church and church related activities; having a (flexible but in place) daily schedule
• time spent outside - hiking, swimming, boating, backyard time swinging, blowing bubbles, flying kites
• rituals, sticking to them: family night, Saturday with Dad, story time, sacred time where I play with my daughter being fully present for 30-60 min.
• when we slow down: our family is comprised of 4 ADHD highly functioning (read type a) members who tend to move through the day without slowing down to really hear each other; we are conscious of this and making a much better effort to communicate more effectively and with better emotional control; family therapy has helped tremendously
• daily family sharing "highlights" and "lowlights"; doing something active on weekends - swimming, hiking, 5-10 minutes (not rushed) at bedtime to talk; being organized so I don't have to say "hurry up!"
• as busy as we are, at dinner we have the sweetest ritual in which we hold hands and silently look into each other's eyes. I love looking at my husband and daughter gazing at each other as much as I love looking into their eyes: it's this beautiful synergistic experience that intensifies our family cycle of love. I am always amazed at how quickly and deeply we all receive from these long gazes. No matter what our day has been like, we find just what we need in those tender moments: relief, joy, forgiveness, a deep sense of being known and held. There is something quite profound about looking into each other's eyes and being together in that place beyond words. The habit of that ritual is especially healing on stressful, rough days. Many a night, my eyes tear-up as I reconnect to my heart and the deeper current of Life as I look into the eyes of my precious family and as I let them see into me as well. After we look "in" each other, we feast our eyes on our food, then close our eyes and go in even deeper to the silence. Someone gives a gentle squeeze after a while, and we begin to dine, renewed and present to our selves and each other
• nature, communication, meditation, exercise, joy, laughter, love, yummy/healthy meals, travel
• long roadtrips w/ uninterrupted windshield drive time; we have had more silly moments inside a car that we can count. The long hours together become sweeter each time we hit the road. Also,regular family meals. When we have the crazy weeks of client dinners and don't have a family meal for at least two nights in a row, we can tell something is off or it's just more difficult for all of us. We need the family time to ground each of us. Lastly, taking in a new experience -- one that is new for all of us. We all enjoy discovering together and watching each of us make our own connections and insights is always a good way to learn and grow together.
• rest. couples counseling. routine and rituals (Saturday Movie Night, etc)
• my family feels connected when we enjoy a slow dinner together each evening. During that time we share with each other something we are grateful for that day. It helps us remember all of our blessings that day. I have noticed that the girls stop throughout the day to notice the goodness around them - they may say "Oh, I'm going to share this tonight at our 'grateful time.' " It has also helped me and my husband not to talk about work worries at the dinner table. My daughters feel connected and peaceful when I give them personal blessings each day - I wrap them in an "angel blanket" each night before bed and I give them a "blessing" before they go to school each day.
• meditation. Even if the kids don't want to meditate at that moment, they can hang out around me and get something out of it, too. Insisting on lots of downtime at home, planning nothing - so what comes out of it is wrestling, group playing with the cat, laughing at comic books, creative pursuits, all impromptu. 
• a regular routine, healthy food, regular times for mom and dad separately and together to decompress and fill themselves up and verbalizing our appreciation for one another.
• open communication, one on one time and family time involving activities we all enjoy; time without electronics
• quiet dinners, walks in the park or neighborhood, sharing stories and reflecting on the day and taking time to greet/hug one another in the morning and when we see each other after work, giving each other compliments/praise on a regular basis
• fewer things on the calendar, spending time in nature, laughing, eating meals together, really listening to one another and enjoying time together as a family with other special family and friends.
• sharing in a project, eating meals together, doing "home church"by listening to an inspirational message or sermon together and then discussing it, sitting in nature to meditate, sitting under the full moon, going for walks or hikes in nature, camping, watching movies at home together
• connection: eating together, doing activities together; regular sleep and mealtimes; not over-scheduling; relatively clean, usually quiet, and orderly environment-- when possible.
• together time both w/ immediate and/or with extended family. A certain amount of alone time- pursuing passions. Going to church sometimes.
• when there is nothing on the agenda; i.e. appointments, engagements, homework, any kind of to-do list - which isn't that often. 
• having fun together (bowling, bike ride), slowing down the bedtime routine so there's plenty of time to talk, piling in my bed and reading (each one his or her own book but at the same time). Less on the calendar.
• time in prayer with my family, and don't sweat the small stuff (ie. pick your battles); talking at dinner and at bed time, camping, being together in nature
• spending time together without tv or electronics. Allowing our relationships to include the full emotional range, so we are open with each other about positive and negative emotions we experience together. This fosters a sense of resilience and trust in the strength of our relationships.
• being away from day to day distractions -- technology, jobs, school, friends. Creating more quiet in our lives.
• for us it's not just meals together (usually we eat out because I don't cook that much) but also the space to be together, yet doing our own thing. We are all free spirits, yet very supportive of each others independence.
• unplugging, doing more physically active things together like swimming, working on the garden, etc.
• staying on a schedule. Having family dinner. Rituals like weekly Friday night movie night or weekend hikes on the greenbelt.
• eating meals together, family night (watching a family movie with coke floats on Fridays), attending church, family prayers/bedtime prayers; spending together doing an activity that we love such as skiing or cooking.
• whether it's when we are all dancing silly or holding hands praying before a meal, I cherish the united we stand mentality.
• doing the little things of the day together without rushing (eat, read, walk, work, cuddle, speak, sing, play, goof) 
• spending time in nature together, mom and dad taking time to themselves to run, ride bike, unscheduled time at home
• less on our schedule, sitting down for a home cooked meal, especially when the children helped prepare it, walks in the evening
• having a routine or rhythm that everyone can count on; doing activities that we all enjoy and can participate in, like dancing or yoga.
• being part of and connected to a greater community, appreciating my family as part of that
• spending quality, non-rushed time together that isn't 'too planned': things like pizza night, sitting out on the porch for coffee/wine while the kids play
• when we are each able to have individual time doing things we enjoy, we are then able to better enjoy time with the ones we love
• mom's feelings of connection, harmony and peace. When mom feels it, others seem to as well.
• we believe God helps guide us each day and helps to keep us connected with each other.

Want support for enhancing peace/harmony in your everyday life?  Read 7 Ways to Embrace
a New Way of Being and join me and like-minded men/women for my 4-week New Way of
Being Tele-course. Learn more. This is an amazing group; registration is ongoing through
November.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers! I invite you to:
-Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
-Attend a retreat/event
-Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
-Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
-Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
-Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an
initial complimentary consultation
-Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or
organization 

Subscribe to The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal
journey and how to live life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My husband and 9 year-old  son on a leisurely stroll on a farm in rural New Mexico. This
area was near Chaco Canyon, one of the gems from our summer vacation.

A New Way of Being

(This morning I found this scribbled on the back of a page in my journal. It's from the first  week of my summer writing sabbatical. June 22, 2011. You can read more about my summer here.)

The deepest part of me desires to WAKE UP and evolve into a New Way of Being!!

I am done with "Just two more phone calls, ten more emails, if can just ..."  I'm done with having my worth tied to my productivity ... to serving ... to success. Done, done, "stick a fork in me" done!

I desire to live EVERY DAY more pleasure-full, play-full and present. 

I am a spirit, not a robot. I am a woman, not a manager. I am a creative, sensual amazing soul that wants to live a fully AWAKENED life. All the time, not just when I happen to be inspired to do so. 

I release, I let go. I'm ready. Bring it on.

Want to join me? What better way to embrace a New Way of Being than to teach it? Read 7 Ways to Embrace a New Way of Being and join me and like-minded men/women for my 4-week New Way of Being Telecourse for all of us who are done with overwork and overwhelm. I’m so excited about this revolutionary new approach that was born from my summer writing sabbatical and I can’t wait to support you in creating the life you desire from the inside-out! Learn more.

P.S. Have you heard about the I CHOOSE LOVE public service campaign? It's a reminder to ourselves and our brothers and sisters that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more about how you can embrace this message in your daily life through being more mindful, sharing stories, ordering a tshirt (at cost) and more.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
• Attend a retreat/event
• Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization

Subscribe to The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Living from the Inside-Out

October overwhelm. It’s an old familiar friend. With my natural proclivity to “always think big” (I am a dyed in the wool entrepreneur!), underestimate how much time is needed for tasks and my tendency to take on too much at one time--I can easily find myself juggling more than one should: this week it's a new book deal, two upcoming keynotes, a retreat, a new program launch and several other yummy new endeavors.

However, something is different this time around. Even though there are moments when I feel like I’m swimming in pea soup and my chest and upper back are yelling “Hey Renee, slow down!” there’s more space around how I’m seeing and experiencing what’s before me.

There is a deeper pull to approach this month from the inside-out. A calling to operate from a higher altitude, a new level of maturity or discernment. To come from a New Way of Being (my name for the “wise zone”—a place of space and freedom where I function at my highest/best and can clearly see what matters most).

Yes there’s a lot going on right now, but at the same time my desire to feel good—to feel a sense of well-being, ease and that everything is ok no matter what—is bigger and stronger than my need to control, achieve or do it my way.

And so I call forth self-compassion during this particularly robust time and I practice Living from the Inside Out by:
•releasing the notion that my worthiness is tied to my productivity or ability to create results! (read more)
•practicing “good is good enough” (read more) around music/details for my retreat, how I promote my new programs and how clean my home is (or isn’t!)
•delegating more, asking for/receiving help and being willing for things to be done differently than how I would handle them
•trusting that I don’t have to figure things out all by myself and can relax into the support (seen and unseen) that is always with and around me
•not caring what others think AND being willing to frustrate or anger people when I don’t respond in a way that they want me to (read more)

Stepping back, I realize as I prepare for my new book, upcoming Kripalu retreat, New Way of Being telecouse and the Austin Women’s Conference, that I have created the perfect stew to practice and embody what I most desire to learn (and live): the belief that I can step into a New Way of Being and still be successful . That this space has actually been there all along, waiting for me. And I don’t have to be or do or prove anything to experience this. I deserve to live this way. We all do. It's our birthright.

An Invitation: What better way to embody a New Way of Being than to teach it? Read 7 Ways to Embrace a New Way of Being and join me and like-minded men/women for my 4-week New Way of Being Telecourse for all of us who are done with overwork and overwhelm. I’m so excited about this revolutionary new approach to balanced living and can’t wait to support you in creating the life you desire from the inside-out!

P.S. Have you heard about the I CHOOSE LOVE public service campaign? It's a reminder to ourselves and our brothers and sisters that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more about how you can embrace this message in your daily life through being more mindful, sharing stories, ordering a tshirt (at cost) and more.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event; join me Oct. 14-16 at Kripalu in the amazing cool Berkshire mountains for our Women's Self-Renewal Retreat.
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization

Subscribe to The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Music in the Moment, a painting by Nancy Ortenstone . I saw this painting while we were vacationing this summer in Taos at Nancy's studio and bought a print. This image captures for me the feeling behind a New Way of Being. It is the first thing I see when I wake up each morning.

Practice

This morning my nine year-old was in total disequilibrium.

I don’t know if it was the 9/11 documentary we let him watch, the full moon or another growth spurt, but it didn’t feel good and I didn’t want any of us to leave for the day on a sour note. So right before our family walked out the door for the day--at my request--we circled up, dropped to the living room floor, did a check in with Jonah on what’s going on, listened from the heart, set individual intentions for our day and gave each other hugs before we walked out into the world. It’s amazing what taking a bit of time to be present with another will do!

I’m the in middle of taking some quantum leaps forward around how I work/run my business and manage my life. I’m very excited about stepping into this new way of being (in fact I’m launching a whole program with this same title!) and experiencing more freedom and space in my life. But this morning reminded me that even though I’ve been practicing and teaching “life balance essentials” for 10 years, (ex: managing your energy/saying no, slowing down/being more present, embracing self-care and asking for/receiving help) I still have to remind myself to tap into these tools daily.

Practice is defined as “to perform repeatedly so as to become proficient.”

I got the chance to attend a workshop on the Art of Mindfulness with Buddhist Priest and author Karen Maezen Miller in Houston on Saturday. Maezen (her Buddhist name) lovingly and passionately encouraged us to be particularly mindful of where/how we focus our attention when we’re interacting in our most intimate relationships. And that this truly requires a certain level of practice; she recommended meditation as the key to getting there—I second this.

Yesterday morning I awoke to the sounds of my son playing the piano. He’s been taking lessons since he was 6 (thank you Anna Larson) but he just hit his stride—both hands, flowing, enjoyable to listen to, connected to the music, even practicing without being asked. As I lay in my bed (slightly irritated that is was 6:35 a.m. but enjoying the beautiful sounds coming from downstairs), I had the ah-hah that we’re all on the same path. His progress came from repeated practice. It seems like his leap happened overnight, but it didn’t. It came from playing simple songs and scales over and over day after day.

I’m feeling gratitude for the message this morning that you have to feed the kids before you can send them to college (or in my case, keep returning to the “life balance essentials” before I move to the next stage)and appreciating the reminder that a “rewiring” or quantum shift in how we do things is usually preceded by lots and lots of practice, baby steps and sometimes years of playing Row, Row, Row Your Boat until one day, you can play the theme from Harry Potter.

Thank you Jonah, I needed that.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event; join me Oct. 14-16 at Kripalu in the amazing cool Berkshire mountains for our Women's Self-Renewal Retreat.
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration
The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Video: Jonah, 9, playing Flying Fingers by Carolyn Setliff. One of his favs.

Breathe

I heard a movement teacher say the other day that every time we take a deep breath, our physiology and emotional makeup is completely altered. So in other words, remembering to breathe, can be life changing!

I returned back to the office this week after being out for most of the summer on a writing sabbatical/traveling (it was very fruitful and insightful; more to come on my ah-has and my New Way of Being telecourse program that was birthed from my summer away unplugged to work on my new book).

My intention for the fall is FREEDOM (read more) and as I eased into my work space on Monday and sat down to my new white computer (yay—it makes me feel oh-so-free!) a glass of sparkling water and some good Mozart, I kept the deep inhales and exhales coming at a steady pace.

And, although things got a bit wobbly at times, I surfed the wave successfully (the phrase we like to use in our office that means maintaining a big picture view, focusing only on what is most critical and walking away from things that are not true priorities).

I’ll never forget in 1996, returning to my corporate cubicle and international PR job after a two-week trip to Europe and Dachau (read more). Even though I was returning to a very stressful job, for days I experienced this healthy detachment to my everyday tasks balanced with a deeper sense for what was truly meaningful. What mattered most.

I’ve got that same feeling in my bones now. And yes—thousands more emails, requests, calls and contracts await—but maybe I’ll only respond to half of them … or less. Who knows?

My desire for more space and freedom at work is overriding everything else right now. So, just breathing and trusting that I’ll be guided to where my energy is most needed in the coming months.

Am keeping my favorite quote by Goethe, “Things which matter least should be never be at the mercy of things which matter most,” close by.

Note: Each quarter I take a personal/business planning one-day retreat to help me determine how best to use my energy/time to support my businesses in the coming 3-6 months. If you're self-employed and need a guided, structured opportunity to listen deeply to your inner wisdom, receive high level, strategic coaching support and to be reminded of why you do what you do this fall, consider joining me on Sept. 16 at Casa de Artistas in Austin. I love these visioning retreats and always leave with clear, grounded direction.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event; join me Oct. 14-16 at Kripalu in the amazing cool Berkshire mountains for our Women's Self-Renewal Retreat.
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Sept. 8th class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

A Different Way

In fall 2008 I was nuts.

Launching my first book, coordinating our global Personal Renewal Group program and running two coaching/consulting businesses was eating my lunch.

I felt like I was in the middle of a tug of war (with each of my businesses at opposite ends), and, it was a no-win scenario.

Every day in my meditation/prayer time, I would ask, “Help me. I desire to see this in a new light. I desire to work in a new way.” And, finally—after a lot of inner work—I did have a breakthrough, a release, and I breathed and all was well again. Like most big shifts, it came from “how I chose to see the situation,” rather than an actual change in the situation itself!

Well, round two. I’m back again. And, while I’m really content with most aspects of my life and many would say I’ve done a decent, maybe even good job of balancing my work demands and family/personal needs, this period of unplugging* has shown me in a few short days that things need to change: I desire an even slower, simpler life and work pace. And, I desire to spend even less time online.

I just wrote about the concept of going with the flow in my recent newsletter (read more). And while I believe and live this principle, I’m realizing that there are degrees of going with the flow ... there’s going for a Sunday drive with the windows rolled down, your hair blowing in the wind and an open mind about where the road may take you ... and then, there is taking your hands off the wheel.

Trusting, releasing and surrendering at such a high level (to God or the Universe), that going with the flow actually begins to look like not driving at all!

Does this sound crazy? Am I making any sense?

Years ago I was working with some brilliant consultants/friends on a product launch.

They had lined up some important meetings in New York with three key decision makers and felt strongly we needed to head to the east coast to meet them right away. My gut was screaming (literally—I was throwing up in the bathroom) that the timing was not right, we were pushing too hard and we needed to wait. But I wanted to honor their expertise, and after three cancelled and flights due to a snowstorm we finally arrived in the big apple.

Taking to the receptionist in a big, sterile office building downtown the following day, we were informed that Janet, our 1:00 had just left to go home with a stomach virus (and no, they didn’t care that we had flown there to meet her from Austin).

Our next meeting with the head of a powerful media group went well—but we found out shortly after our return home, that her father passed away the day after we left and she would be leaving her company for an extended sabbatical. And while these meetings weren’t fruitful, I am still grateful today for this experience and the huge reminder to always, always listen to my inner knowing, and to pay close attention when things are not flowing.

We teach what we need to learn. And coming into balance has been a life-long struggle for me. It’s also something I’m really dedicated to. (Read Is Ms. Balance Out of Balance?)

I remember a therapist asking me in my twenties as I sat on her flowered, aging couch, “Your emotional well-being is of paramount importance; there’s nothing that matters more. What decisions are you willing to make to preserve this?”

I think she’d be happy to see me now. And to witness my willingness to do anything and everything to not only maintain, but to enhance and evolve my sense of peace and well-being, both inside and out.

So back to the meditation cushion for me. And while I don’t have a clue as to what this new way of working and living will look like in the fall, I know my desire for more ease and flow is strong (overwhelmingly so). And I trust—like always—the answer will come. In its own good time.

*From June 6-July 28, I am officially unplugged and out of the office to work on a new writing project. I’ll still be blogging, but only every two weeks. But hop on over to Live Inside Out for daily dialogue on how to live more intentionally.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop, including our July 29th Career Strategy Workshop: Find a Fit, Create a Plan, Love Your Work in Austin
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Aug. 25 class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Me in my favorite hammock chair. I'm writing an outline for a new project and enjoying a banana-coconut smoothie while listening to the morning doves and drinking in the thousand shades of green in our backyard. I could get used to starting my day like this!

Is Ms. Balance Out of Balance?

My back and shoulders hurt from too much computer time. I’m not sleeping great (too many late nights online). My mind is too busy. I’m more reactive. And, I’m not as present as I’d like to be with my family and friends.

“When are you going to slow down?” my sweet body asked this morning. “Soon, very soon,” I respond.

I ran into one of the moms from my son’s school at Whole Foods yesterday. We caught up for a moment and after I shared how much I’ve been in overwork during the last two weeks, she smirked and said, “It sounds like Ms. Balance is out of balance.” Years ago this comment would have triggered me and I would have felt the need to justify my current schedule. But this time, I let it run off my back, smiled and moved on to the cereal aisle.

My definition for life balance--having enough time, energy and resources for those things that are most important to you—flooded back to me (read Balance is Bunk?! ).

In a flash, I realized that most people still see life balance as this state of perfect equilibrium in all areas of life (unattainable and unreaslistic!), rather than an ebb and flow of how and where we direct our energy based on our current life priorities.

Yes! I am working way more than I want to right now---getting online early in the morning and staying up late every night to complete a big video project, knocking out seemingly endless deadlines, wrapping up spring outreach projects with my team, participating in back-to-back meetings and conference calls, navigating new contracts for speaking and publishing, booking/negotiating workshop engagements for this fall and spring, writing newsletters and articles, handling interviews, guiding staff on web site updates and training new team members---but it’s for a very good reason.

I’ve chosen to enter into this temporary state of overwork in order to give myself the space I need to work on a new creative endeavor during June and July: a writing project and focus that is very dear to my heart. And in order to fully unplug and enter into the “cave of creation” –I needed to devote some extra energy to my two businesses right now.

At this life and career stage, one of the things that matters most to me is honoring creative expression … giving myself the space, time and support to completely unplug, free fall, dive deep and bring forth what’s yearning to be birthed (read my post on Ripe).

And, honoring my own voice--which like an echo in a canyon is becoming louder and more still at the same time--is a big part of this.

So fingers crossed. Two more days of wrap-up and then I’ll be transitioning into my writing sabbatical (read more on my focus in How Bad Do You Want to Feel Good?).

As my son and I sit outside and watch the birds and enjoy our soy yogurt parfaits from Whole Foods this morning, I also give thanks to my mom friend for the reminder that sometimes in order to experience more harmony and balance in the larger sense, we have to encounter some disequilibrium along the way.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Aug. 25 class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
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The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Me getting my groove on with the wonderful women at our April Kripalu Self-Renewal Retreat. I love dance as a metaphor for coming into balance: attuning, responding, shifting, re-prioritizing and harmonizing our inner/outer state. When I want to feel more balanced, I often put on music and just start to move!

Stardust

Imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions.--Albert Einstein

I’ve always been fascinated with the idea of creating something out of nothing.

I just spoke at and participated in RISE global week (grassroots, city-wide, peer-led entrepreneur conference) in Austin and was in heaven. I had the same feeling in 2000 when I attended my first International Coaches Federation professional conference with 3,000 coaches from around the world---energized, excited and a sense of coming home. I was with my peeps.

Entrepreneurs are an interesting bunch. Doug Ulman, CEO of LiveStrong said Friday night at the RISE Fast Pitch, “Entrepreneurs see a need, they solve a problem and are driven to serve.” And, I would add, they say “yes” when many say no.

Being an entrepreneur is not everyone’s cup of tea. But, those who take the plunge usually agree: they feel they didn’t have a choice. They ultimately did “that which they MUST do.”

I distinctly remember fighting my inner compass which kept clearly pointing to the path of self-employment back in 1999. I think if I would have foregone this route, I would have combusted or gone crazy. I had to follow my heart and birth what was begging to come forth—regardless of how bumpy the road ahead appeared to be.

My first business was formally launched in 2000 (I was in labor for 2 years before she arrived) and my second in 2007 (which was never meant to be a business; those are usually the best kind) and I also launched a publishing arm (Balanced Living Press) that same year.

It’s mind boggling when you think about creating something out of thin air. Yes, most of us have done our due diligence, established a need, researched the marketplace and synthesized years of related experience before we launch. But starting a business is always a big risk, and ultimately we’re still testing our “recipe,” hoping our hunch, idea, nudge or feeling wasn’t just something we took action on after a late night and too many glasses of wine!

When I asked the 25 women in my RISE session last Thursday morning to share why they started their businesses, I heard: I wanted to more fully express my potential … share my creativity … make a difference in kids lives … communicate my ideas … be in charge of my time … experience more purpose-driven work and … I was tired of giving all my ideas and time away to a company that was getting rich off of me!. Not one person said it was just to make money.

These women, myself included, are what Mark Henricks, author of Not Just a Living: The Complete Guide to Creating a Business That Gives You a Life calls lifestyle entrepreneurs. People who are turning to entrepreneurship to support the life they have always dreamed of.

Looking back now on the last twelve years I see how the seeds I planted have blossomed, grown and are beginning to stand on their own in the garden. They’ve got roots.

If someone would have told me in the nineties (as I slogged through various challenging, often bureaucratic but always intellectually stimulating marketing communications/PR positions) that ten years later, I’d have two businesses, be my own boss, have the option to take Fridays off, work with whomever I wanted, published two books and be working on my third, and be collaborating daily with an amazing team of like-minded women, I would have had a very hard time conceiving that this life was possible.

I just picked up Daphne Rose Kingma’s book The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart (New World Library) as research for my new book project on everyday spirituality. It’s a great resource (it just won a prestigious spiritual book award) and I remember Daphne sharing in an interview that the messages in the book were “given to her.”

I so resonate with this. I think this is what we experience as entrepreneurs, as well.

On the outside-in, it may look like authors, artists, musicians and innovators are creating something out of nothing … out of stardust. But, in reality, we’re just making ourselves available and receptive to receive what’s ready to be birthed …what is ours to breathe in and exhale, to share with others.

We just happened to have said “yes”--after we could no longer bear the unrelenting tapping on our shoulder--to giving the idea a voice, a stage, a chance.

A Personal Invitation: Are you self-employed and feel overwhelmed, pulled in too many directions or in extreme need of a day completely devoted to gaining clarity/focus around your business direction? Every quarter I take a one-day retreat to help me stay on track and focused on what matters most. I'm now inviting my friends to join me. Learn more about my 3/25 Small Business Visioning/Planning Retreat.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:
>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our April 29-May 1 Kripalu Self-Renewal Retreat in the Berkshire Mountains of MA
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses and read my March Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Image: Stardust--a large number of distant stars appearing to the observer as a cloud of dust.

Less is More

I work with a wonderful woman (a mom to two young kids) who is very clear that less is more.

Often on Fridays, we touch base before we head into the weekend and discuss our upcoming plans. She never says, “Oh, this weekend is a doozie, we have so much going on,” or “my plate is so full, I’ll need a vacation come Monday.” After hearing my plans—which are often busier than I'd like--she usually replies, “We don't have much going on, we're keeping it simple. We like it that way.” And, she does.

I remember years ago hearing life coach Cheryl Richardson say that our quality of life is directly enhanced not by what we put into it, but by what we remove.

Almost everyone I know --even those of us who don’t watch TV, limit online time and frequently say “no” to requests for our time that pull us away from our priorities—describe their lives as varying stages of feeling overcommitted, overscheduled and overworked

If life balance is having enough time, energy and resources for those things that are most important to us (my definition), then as a rule, in today’s overzealous, 24/7, fast-paced environment, we’ll challenged to be vigilant in order to keep things simple. To remember what really matters and to be clear that adding more things to our schedule typically makes us grumpy, not happier.

At the end of your weekend do you ever say “Gosh, I just wish I had done more. The weekend was too unscheduled. Too relaxing. Too easy. I had too much time with my sweet family.” Probably not.

If you’re like me, the best weekends are the ones where I didn’t do much of anything but pull weeds with my family, pop some popcorn, swing in the hammock and visit a bit with our neighbors as we watched the kids play and dusk settle in.

Looking forward to some expanses of unscheduled time this summer. And maybe, if I'm lucky, visiting my old childhood friend, boredom.

JOIN US FOR A RETREAT: Take a mini-career retreat on Saturday, April 10th to learn how to integrate who you are with what you do. And, we have a few spots left for our April 23-25 Refresh, Reclaim, Re-Balance: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings Spa & Resort in Austin, TX, but sign up today to ensure your spot. Or, escape to the cool mountains in August and join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in the MA Berkshires Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet!

Also, visit Live Inside Out to register for our April 15 FREE teleclass from 7:30-8:30 p.m. CST on Unleashing Your Creativity. And sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My one year-old nephew reaches for a flower behind East Side Cafe after a family dinner. A relaxing stroll through their gardens after our delicious meal was one of the simple pleasures of our day.

Don't Be Afraid of Your Shadow

Traditionally the days before my Jan. 7th birthday are often the darkest days of the year for me. I often get sick—which is rare—and any anxieties, worries or fears that might have been buried over the past year, surface like long forgotten relatives.

I used to cringes with discomfort when these feelings came on (I am an optimist and am blessed with a high “happiness set point” the majority of the time).

But this year, I sat and had tea with my shadow (a psychological term introduced by Jung that encompasses everything in us that is unconscious, repressed, undeveloped and denied; the dark rejected aspects of our being). And although I could have easily “justified” my unhappiness with a long list of socially acceptable woes, I didn’t even try.

Some of the gifts that came from this insightful--though not delightful--time, include:
• The opportunity to dive inward and experience deep reflection (essential for well-being and balance; you can subscribe and read more about balance from the inside out in my upcoming January life balance newsletter)
• The chance to ask for help—to be reminded we’re interdependent and help is always there if we just reach out and allow others to see our vulnerability
• A powerful opportunity to experience contrast—between really feeling good and feeling crappy—and to acknowledge gratitude for the ability to experience joy
• That this is essential housekeeping—clean out the old and make space for the new (my theme for the New Year is wide open—more to come on this in my January career strategy newsletter)
• It allows us—if we choose—to practice trusting and knowing that "this too shall pass"
• The opportunity to ask the question “what are we de-pressing that is trying to surface?" (my wise brother who navigates a wide spectrum of moods believes depression comes on when we're de-pressing something that is trying to come to light)
• We get to visit the most unpopular vacation destination known to man--“the unknown”--and realize that's it not as bad as the brochures lead us to believe
• The chance to revisit old stuck patterns and thoughts--repetitive worries or fears—and to ask if we’re ready to find a new dance partner?

Now on the other side of the moat, I realize that more than anything, I am grateful to have the opportunity to pause. To reflect. And to realize that if my thinking, perspective, relationships or career/business course is heading in a direction that doesn’t feel right, I have the ability to re-set my GPS and pick a different route. At any time. Thank God.

AN INVITATION: Interested in experiencing more balance in 2010 and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events, including our highly popular, bi-annual Jan. 29th The Career Strategy Workshop here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to register for our Jan. 21st FREE evening teleclass on Managing Your Energy and Saying No. And sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My son and I on top of Enchanted Rock (a giant pink granite dome in the Texas Hill Country) on Jan. 2nd, celebrating the arrival of the New Year.

Balancing Feelings

I lost my mom suddenly and unexpectedly in 2000—thirty days before my wedding day. She was 60 when she died. If she were still alive, today would have been her 70th birthday.

For some reason, this year in particular feels especially tender.

I’ve noticed as I get older (I’ll be 44 in a few weeks), that aging seems to soften how we view people and places. Things that used to bother us, don’t seem so important any more. The places where we feel the sharp, jagged edges of painful memories we thought we’d never be able to release—are beginning to blur and fade. Our hearts feel more open, more ready to forgive. We have more clarity around what really matters.

I used to struggle with all the mixed feelings I have around my mom (an amazing artist, musician and medical professional who battled depression most of her life); all the unfinished business we never got to work through.

But as I move into the second half of my life, I am more at ease around all my feelings related to my mom. Both the incredible explosive light and the dark, scary shadow. And the polarity (read more) and range of emotions I feel around her, doesn’t bother me so much anymore. I'm able to just be with this spectrum of feelings.

I believe we’re all doing the best we can at any given moment. How do I know what it felt like to walk her path?

If my mom were alive today, I think—and hope—she would have moved into a place of being more forgiving and gentle with herself. And that she’d be proud of me and my passion for helping other women find this place within themselves, as well.

Happy Birthday Juliana. I love you and thank you for the many gifts you shared with me. I would not being doing the work I am doing today were it not for you.

AN INVITATION: Interested in learning how to be more forgiving with yourself and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to listen to past Live Inside Out teleclasses or to sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My mom and dad leaving the hospital right after my birth, Houston, TX, 1966.

Honoring Your Rhythms

This was an incredibly full weekend (I helped promote and led a workshop for a wonderful girls empowerment conference, supported artist friends at a community event, attended our annual school fund raiser and had the honor of hosting a 50th birthday Blessingway for a good friend).

I am pooped.

I feel like crawling back into bed with a big steaming mug of hot team, curling up with a good book and staying in sweats all day. Maybe I will. At the least, I’m certainly not going to have a typical Monday—usually my busiest work day.

I’ve learned over the years how important it is for me to listen to my body and spirit’s internal rhythms. Many days I have boundless energy and can get eight hours worth of work done in two. Other days, I feel like I'm moving through molasses and have to attune to what is essential, what must be done and then let everything else wait while I shift down into first gear.

I trust my body's rhythms and cycles. I’ve learned that pushing always backfires. Listening to and working in harmony with my body and spirit always proves fruitful.

It’s taken me a long time to allow myself to respond to my needs. But now that I do, there is no other way to live.

P.S. FREE SUPPORT RESOURCES: Who is holding a big space for what’s possible for you in 2010? Read more. And, if you’d like to receive my life balance newsletter tomorrow on Your Money or Your Life sign up here. Hope you can join us Tuesday evening (11/17) for our next Live Inside Out class via telephone on Building Your Support System--register here.

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can connect to your rhythms and tap into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. An apricot tree in the Davis Mountains (TX).

Balance from the Inside-Out

September has always been like the start of the New Year for me.

I have launched businesses, started new jobs, rolled out new business models, embarked on back-to-back speaking sprints and unveiled new creative endeavors around this time of year for as long as I can remember. (I have heard that the Native American New Year begins around this time—maybe my Cherokee roots are guiding me here.)

A few weeks ago during a one-day retreat, I did a visioning exercise focused on the next four months and how/where to direct my energy. During this time, I got a very clear message that this fall would be unlike any other. And, that some really exciting things would be unfolding for me in 2010, which would require a lot of inner and outer preparation during the last half of 2009.

I have learned the hard way that when I don’t listen to my intuition and ignore my body and soul’s natural rhythms (read more about this topic), everything becomes a struggle. And rather than ski effortlessly down the slopes of life, I feel like I’m trudging through mud up to my waist (sounds familiar, huh?).

As I write these words, I sense how far I’ve come to get to this place (it’s not easy to slow down when you have a hefty overhead, bills to pay, requests pounding at your door and “overachiever” tendencies). And, I acknowledge how much I’ve had to release and let go to get to this place of surrender. (And, that this journey is never-ending!)

But, balance, equilibrium, ease—whatever you call it—is of paramount importance to me. (Click here for some tips on how you can bring more peace into your day to day experience.)

And, I know that when the time comes to step on the gas, I’ll be ready, rested and clear-headed to respond to whatever gifts and adventures I am presented with next.

AN INVITATION: Interested in learning how you can create balance from the inside-out and receive the support you need to do so? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circles, signing up for our FREE September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are or attending our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings (early bird rate ends Aug. 31^st).

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau, Rio Grande Gorge in northern New Mexico. Breathtaking.

Choices

I often hear my coaching clients say they don’t have a choice. What they really mean is they’re not ready to make a hard choice—downsizing to a more affordable home, leaving a financially comfortable job, ending an unhealthy relationship, moving to another part of the country, taking a much needed sabbatical, changing their diet, living on a salary that is half of what they used to make, getting up early to exercise or meditate, etc. (Read my last post where I share about my struggle with this.)

It’s so easy to slip into the sleepy slumber where we think we’re at someone else’s mercy when it comes to how we set up our lives. But we’re not. We’re the masters (or at the least co-creators), not the slaves. And, our choices—big and small—impact our day to day experience of life.

I have many friends and colleagues around the nation who are making hard –and often uncomfortable choices--in order to support their larger life goals of more freedom, balance, simplicity, harmony, health, room for creative pursuits and time to be alone or with family.

The other night my husband I were sitting up late talking after our son went to bed. For us, like many, the year is unfolding differently than we had anticipated. Yet, our gratitude is growing for the choices we’ve made which support our values and allow us to:
*live in a home that is beautiful but modest and only needs one salary to cover the mortgage instead of two
*be five minutes from my new office which provides me more time to focus on the aspects of my business that really feed me
*live close to things that are integral to our quality of life: my yoga and dance studio, hiking trails, a farmer’s market, the Texas hill country, the Crossings
*be at our son’s school community in five minutes, which limits the time we all spend in the car each day
*spend more time together as a family playing music, dancing, being outdoors, talking (because the TV is off)
*enjoy relatively high energy levels, health and vibrancy due to the food we eat and things we do to feed our spirits and minds—not just our bodies
*live lives where we feel a deep sense of connection—to ourselves, our family members and our larger community

There is a story in the chapter on Managing Your Energy from The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal where my photography teacher challenged me in my twenties when I told him I was late to class because of my corporate job. “I had no choice,” I said. I really thought I didn’t. And now, I know I do.

AN INVITATION: Interested in reconnecting with who you are and getting support for the choices you need to make in your life? Check out our women's self-renewal circles, our FREE September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are, my upcoming The Empowered Entrepreneur Workshop on Aug. 28th in Austin, TX or our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and learn how you can live more intentionally (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau, a field in the Berkshires in upstate MA. My choice: to pause and spend time in natural environments that feeds my body, mind and soul.