Where Does Joy Come From?

"Joy springs from within; no one makes you joyous; you choose joyfulness." Unknown

Last Sunday at 11:45 a.m. I was finishing up facilitating a retreat for 55 amazing women at Kripalu Yoga & Wellness Center when my ten year old son--who had just flown in from Austin to visit his MA grandparents--appeared at the door. My heart exploded, a huge smile spilled across my face and I motioned for him to come sit beside me and join the circle of women. My entire body surged with JOY--I loved having my child there to witness and experience the profound nature of the work I do and to connect with him in this way!

This week, everywhere I turn I'm surrounded by quotes or teachings related to joy. Joy is "up" for me right now!

I remember a time when I used to think joy was corny, that it was something that happened to you. A fluke--like a butterfly landing on your arm. And when I felt it--I often shied from it's warmth and power (I recently heard author Brene Brown say that one of the most vulnerable places we can go is allowing ourselves to experience and express full-out joy).

I believe that joy is one of our greatest gifts and it lies in great reserves within us. We just have to allow ourselves to tap it, cultivate it, dig deep for it, nurture it and believe we're worthy of its grace--not just at birthday parties, "wins," or weddings, but all the time: driving to work, telling stories over dinner, waiting in line at the grocery store.

I'm passionate about helping men and women experience greater balance (read more) and emotional well-being in their everyday lives. As part of my work, I travel and lead workshops for women around the globe and am often saddened by how I often I hear participants share they feel that a joyful life is passing them by. They're at the buffet, but joy isn't on the menu (read more on a survey I did last summer on this topic).


They often ask, "How do I recapture joy?"

On the last day of our self-renewal retreat at Kripalu, we headed out to the majestic front lawn with its expansive view of the MA Berkshire mountains. The women took turn reading aloud pearls of wisdom that had surfaced for them over the weekend--insights from their "Wise Selves"--that part of them that holds the highest/best for their continued evolution and growth. After affirming each woman's truth, we headed back to our room and danced our wisdom so we could "lock" it into our bodies and carry it back home. While dancing, the joy and unabashed delight that swirled through the room was euphoric, contagious and heady-- like a perfume. Everyone in that room could feel that the waves of joy being unleashed were coming from inside of them. From their own Divine nature.  

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, "Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God." I couldn't agree more. Here's to more joy for us all this month. 

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this spring or hire Renee to create one for your group
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.
  

Photo: Fifty four beautiful women--mothers/daughters/girlfriends/colleagues/grandmothers/birthday girls-- ages twenty to seventy-five from around the globe joined us at Kripalu last weekend. We were blessed with gorgeous weather and stunning fall foliage.

I Choose Love ... Again

I vividly remember an afternoon fourteen years ago when I was living in an apartment in central Austin with my husband-to-be, curled up in front of the fireplace reading my dad's old, weathered copy of Return to Love by author/teacher Marianne Williamson. 

The book’s core message--that every moment and every day we're presented with two choices: to come from love or fear--landed in my body like an anchor of truth.

Marianne says that every thought, word and action is either motivated by love--which allows us to trust in the flow of life, connect with others and expect good to come to us--or fear, which causes us to doubt, constrict and cut ourselves off from others, made so much sense. 

I choose love.

I choose to relax into the flow of life. I choose to be open and receptive to those I come in contact with. I choose to trust that “things are working out for my highest and best” and that the days and months ahead will be filled with many good things to come. I choose to always feel as if there is more than enough for everyone all the time. I choose to remember that the more I love, accept and am kind to  myself, the more I am able to love and have compassion for those around me. And I choose to have an open, accessible heart.

I attended a dinner party and and each of were asked to bring and share a favorite love poem. I considered bringing a favorite passage from Mary Oliver, Hafiz, Rumi, David Whyte and others, but I kept getting pulled back to the following famous passage from Marianne Williamson.

My dad--who would have been 72 last Wednesday-- gave this poem to me right before he died from a heart attack in 1996. I think his final words of wisdom were intended to gestate and reverberate within me, before they rippled out into the world. As I grow, evolve and age, I find the more I own my power, let my light shine and let others see me live "full out,"---the more others feel comfortable doing the same. Thank you dad for this and the many gifts you gave me.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most
frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is
nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure about you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same. As we are
liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, author, Return to Love

INVITE: Want to learn more about the powerful I Choose Love message? Read on. And if you're Interested in receiving support for owning your power and choosing love over fear, join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Wellness.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this fall or spring
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: This daily reminder to choose love over fear is taped to the front of my fridge.  At left: Global l I Choose Love PSA: learn more.

What Does Self-Care Mean to You? (...and our winner!)

We received more than 300 entries into the Year-of-Self-Care Retreat Giveaway and as I sat reading these moving, inspiring, wise, sometimes funny and very real

shares--in response to "What Does Self-Care Mean to Me?"-- what touched me deeply were the reoccurring messages of self-forgiveness, releasing guilt and believing I

deserve self-care, learning to cultivate self-compassion, breathing and listening to my body, remembering to laugh and find joy in everyday life, expressing and connecting with my authentic self, being fully "me" (not who others want me to be) and how powerful it is to get a good night's sleep!

I've been teaching, studying and practicing the art of self-care--which I define as attuning and responding to your deepest needs and desires--for 12 years and all I can say is it's a journey that doesn't end--it definitely keeps deepening, widening and expanding. And today, I really see self-care as a spiritual practice. Learning to cultivate self-acceptance, self-compassion and responding to what I need--moment to moment--has had a profound effect on every area of my life.

The winner! So, Sunday a.m. after my son brought me breakfast in bed, he drew a name at random from the entries. And ....Nora got the call with the good news that SHE WON the $2700 retreat package! (It took us a while to track her down--she's in the middle of finishing her dissertation!)

Nora and I connected on Monday and she shared that she and her husband Doug (married 20 years) have two special needs kids Kiernan, 13, and Ripley, 10. They live in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

                                         Nora building a fire on Lake Superior with her boys.
                                        
Nora shared, “When I read Renee's e-newsletter on the giveaway, the self-care message was so timely for where I was at that week. I entered the contest because it made me reflect on self-care and what I really needed. I found Renee's life balance site/newsletter a couple years ago; last year I participated in a Personal Renewal Group with Sarina LaMarche. It's been so incredibly supportive that I decided to take the class again this year. The best thing about winning this prize is the chance to take a break (more than a couple hours), and spend time reflecting on where I need to go this next year to do a better job of self-care and what lessons I've learned that I can share with others in my life. I'm also very excited to get together with other women -- I believe there's a synergy that happens when we come together intentionally. I can't remember the last time I went away for a weekend just for me, not for work or with the family. This is really an incredible gift!”

Here are a few highlights from the entries we received on The Journey, through our Live Inside Out Community and through our self-care book giveaway program (thanks to

all our partners!) in response to the question: What does self-care mean to you? I encourage you to read them all!

• Tania--tuning into the voice in my heart--and responding.
• Pat--connecting with my inner self on hearing how best to love myself in the moment.
• Allison--believing I'm worthy of self-care.
• Bluefeather--understanding that it's not about spending money, but about taking even 30 seconds at the beginning of the day to check in around what I most need that day.
• Jodi--I know I'm embracing self-care when I  can laugh instead of snap at my well-meaning husband and be happy--instead of overwhelmed--by my wacky house.
• Aidan's mom--taking time to invest in my marriage--as it is such a source of nurturing for me.
• Claire--being near and playing in water deeply nourishes me.
• Leila-listening to my body when it begs for exercise rather than my mind who is saying "deadlines, deadlines!"
• AnnieB--treating myself the way I am teaching my children to treat others; this is often challenging to do.
• Tammy G--forgiving myself for not getting everything done on my list because my son had a list of his own that didn't include laundry and errands.
• Kerry--sometimes self-care looks like slowing down enough to rescue wayward worms from the storm puddles in the morning.
• Ida Kim--asking "what do I need?" and honoring and keeping the appointments I make with my sweet self.
• Michelle--treating myself like I would a cherished best friend.
• Jennifer--saying, "No," when I need to, and reserving my "Yes" for what's most important to me.
• Haley--allowing myself to live an authentic life and to follow my passions without guilt.
• JennGator--remembering that what's most important--and what feeds me--is not putting away laundry or unloading the dishwasher, but expressing love to my daughter.

Thanks to all of you for participating in this community event (and huge thanks to the good folks at Kripalu for donating the retreat!). I hope that being challenged to answer, "What does self-care mean to me?" caused you to pause and even
for a moment--reflect on how you treat, care for and talk to yourself.

Interested in learning more about The Transformative Power of Self-Care? Here's a free chapter from my book on this theme and some great free life balance teleclasses to
jump start your self-care journey. Let us know how we can support you in tapping into this powerful teaching!

P.S. Never been on a retreat, but always wanted to? For 20 years, I have taken retreats and led retreats because I find that periodically stepping away from my life, gives me
the perspective I need to remember what matters most and reconnect with my true self. (And of course, I also love the deep nourishment and relaxation that come
from a weekend totally devoted to my needs and desires!). There's still room in my June 22-24 New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in MA! We'd love to have you continue this conversation with us in our upcoming women's circle.


I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my June 8th Empowered Entrepreneur and June 22-24 Kripalu retreat;check out all upcoming events
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: My sweet ten-year-old son holding the winner's name with great care. "Mama, she'll be soooo excited!!" 

Is Ms. Balance Out of Balance?

My back and shoulders hurt from too much computer time. I’m not sleeping great (too many late nights online). My mind is too busy. I’m more reactive. And, I’m not as present as I’d like to be with my family and friends.

“When are you going to slow down?” my sweet body asked this morning. “Soon, very soon,” I respond.

I ran into one of the moms from my son’s school at Whole Foods yesterday. We caught up for a moment and after I shared how much I’ve been in overwork during the last two weeks, she smirked and said, “It sounds like Ms. Balance is out of balance.” Years ago this comment would have triggered me and I would have felt the need to justify my current schedule. But this time, I let it run off my back, smiled and moved on to the cereal aisle.

My definition for life balance--having enough time, energy and resources for those things that are most important to you—flooded back to me (read Balance is Bunk?! ).

In a flash, I realized that most people still see life balance as this state of perfect equilibrium in all areas of life (unattainable and unreaslistic!), rather than an ebb and flow of how and where we direct our energy based on our current life priorities.

Yes! I am working way more than I want to right now---getting online early in the morning and staying up late every night to complete a big video project, knocking out seemingly endless deadlines, wrapping up spring outreach projects with my team, participating in back-to-back meetings and conference calls, navigating new contracts for speaking and publishing, booking/negotiating workshop engagements for this fall and spring, writing newsletters and articles, handling interviews, guiding staff on web site updates and training new team members---but it’s for a very good reason.

I’ve chosen to enter into this temporary state of overwork in order to give myself the space I need to work on a new creative endeavor during June and July: a writing project and focus that is very dear to my heart. And in order to fully unplug and enter into the “cave of creation” –I needed to devote some extra energy to my two businesses right now.

At this life and career stage, one of the things that matters most to me is honoring creative expression … giving myself the space, time and support to completely unplug, free fall, dive deep and bring forth what’s yearning to be birthed (read my post on Ripe).

And, honoring my own voice--which like an echo in a canyon is becoming louder and more still at the same time--is a big part of this.

So fingers crossed. Two more days of wrap-up and then I’ll be transitioning into my writing sabbatical (read more on my focus in How Bad Do You Want to Feel Good?).

As my son and I sit outside and watch the birds and enjoy our soy yogurt parfaits from Whole Foods this morning, I also give thanks to my mom friend for the reminder that sometimes in order to experience more harmony and balance in the larger sense, we have to encounter some disequilibrium along the way.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Aug. 25 class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Me getting my groove on with the wonderful women at our April Kripalu Self-Renewal Retreat. I love dance as a metaphor for coming into balance: attuning, responding, shifting, re-prioritizing and harmonizing our inner/outer state. When I want to feel more balanced, I often put on music and just start to move!

A Grateful Heart

I was flipping through our family calendar this morning, which is filled with quotes from Pema Chodron, to see what’s scheduled for May. The quote from her book The Places that Scare You, jumped out at me:

“Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts. Each time we drop our complaints and allow everyday good fortune to inspire us, we enter the warrior’s world. We can do this even at the most difficult moments. Everything we see, hear, taste and smell has the power to strengthen and uplift us.”

I’ve been overflowing with gratitude all morning. It’s so delicious. It has the capacity to move us into this feeling state that can actually keep expanding and growing (it reminds me of that Star Trek episode, The Trouble with Tribbles, where the “tribbles” just kept multiplying!).

I returned late last night from facilitating a weekend Self-Renewal Retreat for women at Kripalu Yoga and Wellness Center in Mass. I didn’t bring my laptop, purposely slowed way down and made probably no more than 5 phone calls over the five days I was gone.

And while it was a work trip, I still spent a good deal of time soaking in the cool Berkshire mountain air, walking, doing yoga/dance, meditating, having heartfelt conversation with my team members, soaking in the latest perspectives/teachings on wellness, yogic lifestyle, stress management and I even got to dance with and receive a hug from the beautiful Mother Maya, who teaches Living Ahimsa—a vow which encourages us all to practice non-violence towards self and others. A particularly relevant and thoughtful message given the major political news I returned to today.

After finishing an expansive meditation this morning (it’s amazing how much more spacious our minds can become when we “unplug” for an extended period), I could feel waves of gratitude spreading and amplifying through my body. This morning I paused to celebrate and give thanks…

For the gift of sight and to be able to drink in all the green growth of springtime.

For the amazing, other-worldly natural foods cuisine the Kripalu kitchen staff lovingly prepared for the more than 700 people who were on-site this past weekend.

For the supportive tribe and community that helped care for Jonah while I was away leading the retreat (and that always step up to support me when I travel for work).

To my sweet, wonderful husband and all the ways he supports our family’s physical, emotional, spiritual and financial well-being.

For the opportunity to help women reconnect with who they are and live from the inside out … and for the self-care ripples that occur when they return to their families, communities and workplaces.

For the brilliant team of women and students I get to work with day in and day out—what blessings each of you are in my life!

For the abundance of personal and professional support that surrounds me and continually flows my way.

For the deep, nourishing friendships I have cultivated that sustain me on so many levels. I appreciate these more every day and am so grateful for the opportunity to be vulnerable and show up “warts and all.”

For the myriad of life experiences I’ve had which were catalysts for helping me grow and evolve into the person I am becoming (let the journey continue!).

For the life-changing event I had at Dachau in 1996 which helped me awaken to the life I truly desire and my calling to help us all come into balance.

For the amazing connections and synchronicities that occur daily in my life that support me in remembering who I really am and what I’m here to do.

To my son and my siblings/extended family for being such amazing teachers and for never letting me fall into status quo or get “too comfortable!”

To my sweet, wonderful body and soul which allow me to experience what it’s like to be human, be spirit and all the vastness that lies in between.

P.S. I’ll be back at Kripalu Oct. 14-16 leading another Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to experience some of this yumminess and see the blaze of fall color!

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, and read my April Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration
The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photos: After finishing a full and intense weekend of teaching and facilitation, I relaxed on the front lawn at Kripalu looking out at the Berkshire mountains while enjoying a piece of vegan pumpkin pie and hot rosehips/lavender tea.

We Need Each Other

Yesterday afternoon my nine year old ran away from home.

He only went 2 blocks. He was barefoot and was carrying a cigar box filled with a Whole Earth Provision gift card, fifteen dollars and a birthday gift certificate from his uncle for bowling. He told me this was what he planned to use to support his new life.

He returned after about 15 minutes (meanwhile, my poor husband was cruising up and down the streets frantically looking for him!) but the experience—which followed a very emotional weekend for my young guy-- was intense for all.

Last night after a warm bubble bath and stories/a long cuddle session with mom, my son shared that being away from us was the scariest thing he had ever experienced. In his words, “he felt so alone …and vulnerable.” And, “It made me think of all the people out there in the world that feel this way everyday. That don’t have anybody.”

A few weeks ago, I led a small business retreat for a group of female entrepreneurs. The one piece of feedback I can’t get out of my head was from a woman who tearfully shared that this retreat was her first experience to be in the company of other women in this manner…a circle …feeling safe, nurtured and empowered. No egos, no competition, just unconditional support and enough “space” for everyone to show up just as they are.

I pretty regularly ask for and receive help now—both professional and personal—but I’m also remembering a time not long ago, where this was a very foreign concept to me. (Read my chapter on Building a Support Network here.)

Growing up as the oldest of seven kids, I look back now and see the predominant theme or message of “going it alone” was our family’s modus operandi.

Besides the distinct absence in our day-to-day lives of aunts, uncles, grandparents, family friends, ministers, close neighbors—a tribe that we could call on when things got stressful—my siblings and I rarely even asked our mom and dad for help. And, while I see the gifts that have come from being uber- independent, in the long run, it doesn’t serve to navigate choppy waters …alone ..in a small rowboat … when a nice big yacht replete with supplies and sailors is sailing by.

When I became a mom 9 years ago, I was forced to learn the lesson that we’re meant to be interdependent, we need each other. It’s our birthright to give and receive help. And, to be in community and connection with one another on a regular basis (read more on the gifts that come from this).

In fact giving from our hearts and allowing others to support us can be a spiritual practice for both parties (as my girlfriend shared yesterday who is caring for her husband who is very ill).

So yes my sweet son, it can feel scary at times to be alone. And while flying solo is not bad—you also learned one of life’s most important truths: tribes are good. We all need each other. And asking for and learning to receive help is what it’s all about.

An invitation: Are you interested in learning to let go and receive support, tap into the Transformative Power of Self-Care and enjoy the warm company of like-minded women? Join me April 29-May 1 at Kripalu for my Reflect, Reclaim, Re-Balance: Women’s Self Renewal Retreat in the Berkshires of MA (this retreat center is one of my favorite places on planet earth!)

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our April 29-May 1 Kripalu Self-Renewal Retreat in the Berkshire Mountains of MA
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, and read my April Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Letting Go

As I write the theme for this post in the subject line above, I can feel half my body applauding loudly and the other half saying, “Really?!”

Sitting at my desk at work right now surrounded by tax forms, to-do lists, contracts to review and pistachios--I’m juggling one of our cars being in the shop after a recent costly repair last month, my almost-nine-year-old in total disequilibrium (he confessed this morning he was taking “shots” of chocolate syrup from the fridge after his breakfast didn’t “cut it”), preparing to lead a teleclass this week with my brother, doing a TV interview tomorrow, managing hormonal ups and downs, responding to staff/clients requests, training 2 new staff members who started Monday and preparing for our Jan. 28th Winter Self-Renewal Retreat and several other events immediately following.

My theme for 2011 is playful (different than “playing” –which I do quite a bit).

This theme arose from my deep desire to really take both hands off the wheel and let go in all areas of my life.

I decided that for me, letting go completely would look like being “playful” at work, at home and in relationships. I’ll keep you posted how this unfolds in 2011!

So today, as I was driving back from yoga class, I asked myself what does letting go really look like? Today, it’s:

-Committing to keeping self-care at the top of my list, even on days like today, when I feel stretched way too thin
-Surrendering my relationships with my partner, child and extended family to Spirit—a source much wiser and larger than myself
-Trusting that I will listen, allow synchronicity to unfold and be guided exactly how best to use my talents, energy, time and resources to serve others
-Allowing myself to hit the “reset” button as often as I need to, and begin anew each day
-Remembering that I’m not alone and that asking for help allows me to release control and embrace “good is good enough”

I shudder to think how controlling I was in my twenties (I don’t think I’d want to be friends with her if we were to meet on the street today!).

I got a lot better in my thirties--having Jonah helped with this--and now at 45, I’m really ready to release the need to have things go my way. Because when things "look" like they're going my way, it's all a big illusion anyway. Isn’t it? (If you're in Austin, don't miss the opportunity to see Byron Katie Jan. 28-29. She taught me a lot about control.)

One of the quotes I love that's in The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal and always gets women laughing, is “For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the Universe.” Larry Eisenberg

Baby steps. Keep calm and carry on.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend my Jan. 28th Self-Renewal Retreat or another retreat/event
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Telelcasses and read my January Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. You can subscribe here.

Photo: One of my biggest teachers on the planet on the subject of playfulness: my younger brother Kert, a Qi Gong teacher. You can always count on Kert to find humor and silliness in EVERY situation! In this photo Kert and I (ages four and three) are discussing our next Life Balance Telelcass.

The Void

One of my dearest friends in in the void.

She is gestating “what’s next” in her life, but to her, it just feels like she’s stuck. And restless. And bored. And dissatisfied with everything-- work/relationship/home. And she might even be a little depressed.

Can you relate?

As a society, Americans in particular are not fond of being clueluess, without direction, not having the answers or being lost (even if it’s just in the grocery store parking lot). Read more on Living In the Unknown from my recent newsletter.

As I watch her—along with thousands of our clients, PRG Facilitators and members, friends and colleagues and probably many of the women that will be at my retreat at Kripalu—I find myself wishing things could be different.

Wouldn’t it be great if we had all evolved to a place where when one of our brothers or sisters was in the void and having a hard time seeing the big picture—that their “unknowing and dissatisfaction” are a beautiful, essential piece to their journey—we would all give them a big hug, say bravo, well-done, hang in there, you’re exactly where you should be on your path?

Or at the very least, we would stop what we’re doing to be with them, listen whole-heartedly to what they’re experiencing and reflect back to them who they really are? So that they don’t feel quite so lost and alone. And in hopes that they might even begin to relax, trust and allow themselves to believe that what is being born from the void is so beautiful and magnificent, it might just take their breath away.

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like to learn more about the power of self-care and how being kinder to yourself can change your life? Our Kripalu retreat sold out last week, but keep checking The Crossings web site and visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including my Aug. 27th Career Strategy Workshop: Find a Fit, Create a Plan, Love Your Workshop and our FREE September 9th Live Inside Out teleclass on Strategies for Balanced Living.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

SPACE IMAGE: A beautiful new image of two colliding galaxies has been released by NASA's Great Observatories. The Antennae galaxies, located about 62 million light-years from Earth, are shown in this composite image. The Antennae galaxies take their name from the long antenna-like "arms," seen in wide-angle views of the system. These features were produced by tidal forces generated in the collision. They were born from the void. Read more.

Digesting

di•ges•tion (di jes′c̸hən, dī-);
noun; the absorption of ideas.

I recently listened to a radio interview with acclaimed historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, author of Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln.

She said that when Franklin D. Roosevelt was putting together the New Deal, he would venture out on his sailboat--sometimes for ten days at a time--to contemplate the situation.

John F. Kennedy, she said, had three days to sit with Cuban Missile Crisis before he had to take action.

Obama, if he’s lucky, will have 20 minutes to be with breaking news regarding the war in Afghanistan before the world hears of it on CNN.

I remember working with a career coaching client a couple of years ago who had recently left a toxic corporate environment after ten years and was “in the void”—preparing for her next career phase. She told me she was sure if she could just have two weeks of downtime to process and heal from the scarring experience, she’d be good as new and ready to launch into a new endeavor.

I bumped into her the other day. She shared she was surprised that it had taken her a full 18 months to recover from her corporate experience and digest what she wanted to keep and expel what she didn’t.

My new friend Christine Hohlbaum, author of The Power of Slow and I were visiting recently. Christine agrees that we’re living in a culture that doesn’t encourage us to take time to sit, absorb and fully be with things.

I can’t get this idea out of my head.

What revelations might we all be missing because we’re yes, moving too fast, but also not creating big spaces of time in our lives to really allow ideas to deeply seep into our bones? To fully digest concepts that may surface, but are quickly swatted away, like pesky flies.

I am on a writing sabbatical this month. What that means, is I am devoting roughly 4 hours a day to sit with a theme that has been bubbling up for me for two years. For my personality, it would be very easy to slide into being focused, outcome-oriented and wanting to answer “what is this all leading to?” –but, I’m resisting this urge.

Because right now, I really get that this is a meal I don’t want to rush through.

I have just pulled up my chair and with the utmost of care, I plan to relish and enjoy one long course at a time. So I can truly digest whatever it is that is churning within.

However long it may take.

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like to receive support and encouragment as you navigate a transition? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE July 15th Live Inside Out teleclass on Nurturing Your Spirit.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My husband at Julia Pfeiffer State Park, Big Sur, CA. He has the amazing ability to observe, reflect and digest scenery for long periods of time.

Anchoring

Many of our clients, my friends and family have expressed lately that they feel extremely untethered.

There seems to be a large contingency of us that feel as if we’re in the middle of a big storm in choppy waters and we’re not quite sure when we’re going to hit shore.

Some feel a bit off course while others are sending out a huge SOS for Olympic-sized guidance as they fend off 30-foot waves.

When I feel this way, I always ask myself, “What anchors me?”

I just returned from an exciting but very emotionally charged week of hosting out-of-guests, the wedding of my baby brother (sans my parents and grandparents who passed away in the 90s), lots of intense family dynamics, the roller coaster of my husband’s job search and a heavy duty dose of 40-something hormonal upheaval. To say I felt off-center over the last 7 days is an understatement!

As I ease into the work week and get back on track physically and emotionally in caring for myself and my family, I am very grateful for having developed a keen awareness for what anchors me *now* and how I get grounded. I’m going to share what these cornerstones are so I can remember to commit to these essential practices:
• meditation: frequency matters more than length; when I meditate 10 or 20 minutes each morning, I’m a different person and feel I can take on ANY challenge that comes my way
• dancing, walking or yoga every day no matter what (even if I have to get up a 5:30 a.m. to knock out deadlines to make this happen)
• eating delicious, fresh, deeply nourishing foods that make my body sing with delight (tonight we’re having a mustard vinaigrette stir fry with toasted brown rice/sesame seeds and iced hibiscus mint tea)
• scheduling heart-to-heart walks and talks with friends who love and support me—no matter how busy I am!

What anchors you? Don’t feel bad if you’re still figuring this out. It only took me about 38 years to get clarity on this. And for those who have known for a long time what your anchors are, maybe it’s time to revisit these?

I’d love to hear how you find your sea legs when you’re navigating uncertain times or even just a tough week.

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like to learn what your anchors are and tools for daily self-renewal? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE July 15th Live Inside Out teleclass on Nurturing Your Spirit.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

The Great Wide Open

I facilitated a Career Strategy Workshop this past Saturday morning for a wonderful group of men and women in their late thirties to late fifties at various life stages.

I continue to offer this workshop (I’ve been doing it since 2005) because we all have such remarkable shifts in groups.

Often others articulate or explain feelings we’ve been experiencing for a long time, but have been unable to verbalize. And invariably, the feelings of self-defeat, isolation, frustration or overwhelm, slowly start to dissipate and somewhere, a light bulb goes off!

I love to witness these moments—they help me remember what we’re all capable of birthing.

A predominant theme from the workshop—and something we’ve been hearing from many of our clients lately, is, “I have no idea what’s next. For the first time in my life I’m not sure what the next chapter of my career/life is going to look like. It’s like I’m standing on one precipice with my right foot outstretched towards an opposing cliff but there’s a lot of space down below. And anything could happen!”

I call this the great wide open (one way to look this phase of life). Read a short story from one of my mentors Richard Carlson, author of “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,” on this theme.

We live in a society where it’s not cool to not have a plan.

“What’s next for you?” you’re asked. You better answer like you know what you’re doing or be prepared to be met with an uncomfortable silence.

Americans like to be busy, directive, highly productive, moving up, moving on or moving out. We don’t value pausing, stillness and honoring transitions--the space in between one stage of life and the next. And we certainly don’t congratulate our friends and pat them on the back when they appear to have no clue what to do next?!

But, I think we’re missing the boat here.

Some of the most powerful things I’ve ever experienced or have been inspired to do, came from the void. From the not knowing … the wide open.

What if rather than run to the next thing we think we *should* do, we allow the next thing to come to us? To reveal itself to us. What if a primary part of our job when we’re hanging out in the unknown, is to wait, to listen, to do the inner work to prepare ourselves to receive what is coming our way?

I suggested to my workshop attendees who are currently in this life stage to smile when asked what their “plan” is and to simply respond, “It’s on its way.”

JOIN US FOR A RETREAT: In career/life transition? Would you like support while hanging out in the "great wide open"? Join us April 23-25 Refresh, Reclaim, Re-Balance: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings Spa & Resort in Austin, TX, but sign up today to ensure your spot. Or, escape to the cool mountains in August and join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat in the MA Berkshires, Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet!

Also, sign up here for our FREE Live Inside Out teleclass from 7:30-8:30 p.m. CST on Unleashing Your Creativity. And receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

FREE DOWNLOAD of Courageous Parents, Confident Kids: Letting Go So You Both Can Grow--an exciting new anthology including a special section from Renee on the power of self-care. SIGN UP TODAY to get your free copy on April 19th!

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Man looking over the Cliffs of Moher, Ireland. Wonder what he's thinking?