Allowing

Last March my family took a trip to Big Bend National Park. In the middle of our family vacation, after a long day of hiking in the canyon and swimming in the river, we stopped at a quiet, still campground on the banks of the Rio Grande. As soon as we pulled in to park, I felt a strong, invisible nudge to grab some paper and a pen and prepare to write.

My husband and son set out a blanket under gorgeous fifty-foot tall cottonwood trees and I immediately plopped down on my belly to write. In about ten minutes, I had jotted down what ended up being the outline for the book I’m working on now which will come in next spring.

I hadn’t asked for this, nor was I contemplating these themes, they just tapped me on the shoulder, asked me to listen and they flowed right through me.

It was as if these messages were seeking a vehicle or way to be heard (interestingly I already had a book in the works with a different focus which I reluctantly abandoned after being moved so deeply and clearly to follow the new path before me).

I’m a big fan of creative expression. Whether it’s painting, writing, dancing or creating a new business, I believe it’s our job to get out of our own way and let what wants to come through us, be born. No matter what the outcome is or who sees or experiences it.

My husband and I watched the movie Country Strong with Gwyneth Paltrow the other night (rare for us to find something we’re both willing to watch). A character named Beau really stuck out. He was a musician and singer/songwriter that was passionate about creating music and singing—not for the fame, crowds or accolades-- but because he loved it and he was committed to showing up and allowing this inspiration to come through him. And, because he stayed connected to his essence, he inspired others around him to want to do the same.

It can feel like a bit of push and pull when you’re trying to balance creative expression with writing a book that has a clear timeline. But my allegiance and my heart belong to the creative process—to honoring what wants to come through, regardless of the product or ultimate outcome.

Hard? You bet. Particuarly over the past two weeks, when I had very limited time to write due to my son’s part-time day camp schedule, a big AC and car repair to handle, constant requests to respond to and relatives coming in to town. But I’m anchoring back to that commitment today. To receive and allow what wants to be heard…..through me …at this time …in a way only I can express it. Because I can’t imagine doing it any other way.

When I launched my first business Career Strategists 12 years ago, I found myself sitting in my newly furnished, freshly feng-shuied office in central Austin, booking appointments for new clients, feeling a swirl of anxiety in my belly and thinking “Am I crazy?! What the bleep did I just do?”

I remember calling my self-employed brother Kert for some support that first week of business and he emailed me this piece by dancer Martha Graham. He knew how huge it was for me to have taken this leap, turned down lucrative corporate jobs and followed my heart and transition full-time into the field of serving others through the field of professional coaching. The poem really moved me. And as I breathed deep and reminded myself that I have always taken the pass less traveled, I knew that I had to honor what had and was coming through me …what was ready to be heard. And so I did and I can’t imagine any other life.

by Martha Graham
"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.

And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ...

No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

P.S. I recently reconnected with a friend who took a similar leap, leaving a high profile job in publishing to follow her heart and journey into the big unknown. Check out Marianne’s wonderful blog Gap Year Girl Goes to Europe.

Note: I'm out on a writing sabbatical this summer and we're surveying the Emotional and Spiritual Health of Families for my new writing project. If you have 5 minutes to tell me about your family culture, I’d love to get your input (and feel free to share with friends/lists): http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RXZ88GR

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop, including our July 29th Career Strategy Workshop: Find a Fit, Create a Plan, Love Your Work in Austin
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Aug. 25 class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: The ever inspiring skies in Big Bend National Park. Renee Trudeau

Unplugged

Are you really living your life ... or are you watching your life being lived?

Last night my husband told me he “likes me better the way I am right now.”

I’m at the beginning of an 8-week writing/creativity sabbatical and the ah-has are coming faster than I can catch them.

I’m really getting that in order to be the fully awakened, conscious parent and partner I want to be, I need to slow down, do less and let go even more than I can imagine (and to my credit, I already do quite a bit of this). I just don’t know what that looks like. Yet. (Here’s my recent post on A Different Way.)

I know I shouldn’t be surprised by all the gifts and revelations that have come from being unplugged (basically off email/social media except for the rare occasion—thanks to an amazing support team), but I am.

Since unplugging, I’ve observed:

-physically my body is so much more relaxed, my shoulders feel fluid and open; my heart rate is slower, I don’t feel that constant adrenaline surge
-my thinking has slowed down …there are more pauses, more space, I’m more reflective and more observant
-I’m more present and less reactive in my relationships (especially with my 9 year old and my husband)
-I’m more creative and more willing to try new things (I feel my perspective on life/work/family is more 360 than the 180 view I usually experience)
-I can sense I’m more tuned into nuances, the shades of grey in conversation and interactions
-it’s much easier to see what matters most (I still have a tall stack of “action items” sitting on my desk from May—interestingly, they seem a lot less urgent now)
-I’m more connected to my rhythms, my environment, nature, my home—things seem more colorful, more vibrant
-my tolerance for everyday stress, pushing and rushing has gone way down (and it was already pretty low)
-I’m beginning to question some of my old habitual behaviors that still re-surface (such as tying my sense of “worth” to my ability to be productive, serve others and experience success)

I’ve officially been “unplugged” for about two weeks now and plan to remain offline through the summer.

Yesterday, after taking a yummy salsa class at Esquina Tango, I headed to Blue Dahlia, a wonderful European bistro, to write.

Things weren't flowing, in fact there were at a dead standstill. I felt like a clunky 14-month old learning to walk--horizontal a lot more than I was vertical.

I grappled with this for a few minutes (feeling my precious summer writing window melting away and upcoming publishing deadlines reaching out to inquire, “So, how are things going?”) and then breathed out, ordered a delicious salad and decided to stop pushing. Instead, I got a massage, took a rest, cooked a wonderful summer vegetable dinner for my family, picked up some books to support my research/new writing project, called some friends for support and let go.

And today, my writing flowed like a stream.

Baby steps Renee, baby steps.

P.S. I’m Surveying the Emotional and Spiritual Health of Families for my new writing project. If you have 5 minutes to tell me about your family culture, I’d love to get your input (and feel free to share with friends/lists): http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RXZ88GR

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop, including our July 29th Career Strategy Workshop: Find a Fit, Create a Plan, Love Your Work in Austin
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Aug. 25 class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: treehugger.com: horse and buggy. The ultimate in low-tech.

Waves

This past weekend, my family headed to the Texas coast for a 48 hour date with Mother Nature.

We have not taken a vacation since my husband was laid off last summer from his software job (he’s on a short-term contract gig right now) and we really needed a break.

In general, we like to take frequent, easy vacations as opposed to one big one, so we’ve really been missing our regular jaunts to New Mexico, Big Bend, the Gulf of Mexico, the Davis Mountains and other favorite southwest U.S. haunts.

The weekend was just what we needed. We saw beautiful pelicans, dolphins, a huge variety of birds (a birding couple had traveled from Australia to Port Aransas to see a rare seagull that was flying through!), turtles, jellyfish, crabs, collected shells during sunrise, ate mahi mahi and shrimp while watching the sunset and enjoyed laughing and being together. My almost 9-year-old son only said he was “bored” twice!

My son and I love to walk on the beach in the early hours of the morning while my husband sleeps in and see what washed ashore while we were sleeping. We both find such delight in exploring the untouched shores barefoot and scanning the wet sand for treasures and sea life.

It’s been a couple of years since we came to the beach as a family. As I trolled up and down the shore with my son, watched the waves crash and fall and felt the magnetic pull of the earth and ocean under my bare feet, I was struck by how different I felt on this visit compared to coast trips I've taken in the past.

The only way I can describe it is to say I feel “quieter” on the inside. And, there’s a heightened unmistakable sense of ease, compassion and self-acceptance present. If I had to guess, I attribute this in large part to a now regular meditation practice. And, a clear intention to more and more release and let go (read more).

That’s not to say that I don’t experience emotional and ups and downs (like the waves I watched with utter fascination as they crashed against the granite jetty!), but my inner “home” is just a bit mellower.

Interesting. It was great to get away. It was great to allow nature to heal us. And, it was nice to know that as my outer body evolves and ages, my inside is evolving, too. Slowly but surely.

I hope you can join us this Thursday, Feb. 24 from 7:30-8:30 p.m. CST for our Live Inside Out Teleclass with my good friend Dianna Amorde on "Love the One You're With ...That's You! Finding Self-Acceptance." Learn more here.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:
>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our 3/4 Lost Pines Women's Self-Renewal Retreat coming up soon (early bird rate ends 2/25; this is our last Texas retreat for a while)
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses and read my February Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photos: Renee Peterson Trudeau, the Gulf of Mexico, February 2011.

Letting Go

As I write the theme for this post in the subject line above, I can feel half my body applauding loudly and the other half saying, “Really?!”

Sitting at my desk at work right now surrounded by tax forms, to-do lists, contracts to review and pistachios--I’m juggling one of our cars being in the shop after a recent costly repair last month, my almost-nine-year-old in total disequilibrium (he confessed this morning he was taking “shots” of chocolate syrup from the fridge after his breakfast didn’t “cut it”), preparing to lead a teleclass this week with my brother, doing a TV interview tomorrow, managing hormonal ups and downs, responding to staff/clients requests, training 2 new staff members who started Monday and preparing for our Jan. 28th Winter Self-Renewal Retreat and several other events immediately following.

My theme for 2011 is playful (different than “playing” –which I do quite a bit).

This theme arose from my deep desire to really take both hands off the wheel and let go in all areas of my life.

I decided that for me, letting go completely would look like being “playful” at work, at home and in relationships. I’ll keep you posted how this unfolds in 2011!

So today, as I was driving back from yoga class, I asked myself what does letting go really look like? Today, it’s:

-Committing to keeping self-care at the top of my list, even on days like today, when I feel stretched way too thin
-Surrendering my relationships with my partner, child and extended family to Spirit—a source much wiser and larger than myself
-Trusting that I will listen, allow synchronicity to unfold and be guided exactly how best to use my talents, energy, time and resources to serve others
-Allowing myself to hit the “reset” button as often as I need to, and begin anew each day
-Remembering that I’m not alone and that asking for help allows me to release control and embrace “good is good enough”

I shudder to think how controlling I was in my twenties (I don’t think I’d want to be friends with her if we were to meet on the street today!).

I got a lot better in my thirties--having Jonah helped with this--and now at 45, I’m really ready to release the need to have things go my way. Because when things "look" like they're going my way, it's all a big illusion anyway. Isn’t it? (If you're in Austin, don't miss the opportunity to see Byron Katie Jan. 28-29. She taught me a lot about control.)

One of the quotes I love that's in The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal and always gets women laughing, is “For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the Universe.” Larry Eisenberg

Baby steps. Keep calm and carry on.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend my Jan. 28th Self-Renewal Retreat or another retreat/event
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Telelcasses and read my January Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. You can subscribe here.

Photo: One of my biggest teachers on the planet on the subject of playfulness: my younger brother Kert, a Qi Gong teacher. You can always count on Kert to find humor and silliness in EVERY situation! In this photo Kert and I (ages four and three) are discussing our next Life Balance Telelcass.

Let Go

The person closest to me in the world had their performance review last week.

He mentioned about two weeks ago that he wanted some coaching to prepare for this (this is something I get paid big bucks to do for others on a regular basis and am very skilled at—I was happy to be asked to provide my expertise and to impact our family’s income).

Then, while brushing our teeth one night last week, he casually mentioned that he had gotten the date wrong and the deadline for submitting information for his review, had come and gone.

My brushing stopped, my jaw dropped and I stood in disbelief (this has actually happened many times before .... I’ll let you run with your theory around this one). Right away, I could feel an army of thoughts lining up in my mind, preparing for rapid fire.

A few days later I was wrapping up an intense week and lots of work deadlines in order to be able to head to the beach for the weekend with my family Saturday morning. I experienced a series of stressful events that afternoon—a schedule glitch, a miscommunication, a technical malfunction, a lost check, a plan that fell to pieces—that left me feeling like everything was going from bad to worse.

It felt like I was sitting on a pile of tumbled dominoes and my swirling negative thoughts were preparing to move from a small tornado into a powerful full-scale downward spiral.

But after I heard the news from my beloved about his performance review and my harried work day turned south (and I stewed for a few minutes)—something surprising happened.

I paused.

Feeling how familiar this terrain was in both instances, I asked myself, “Is this REALLY where you want to go with this?” No. What I really wanted was to just let it go. And that's what I did.

I think it’s so easy to forget we always have the ability to just LET GO. I don’t always do it and sometimes the allure of a good argument is more than I can resist. But, more and more, I’m pausing to check in and ask if this is really the train I want to get on right now? Or do I want to wave it on, and let it keep going.

P.S. Interested in meeting monthly with other women who also want to practice pausing and letting go? Join thousands of women around the world who are gathering in small intentional self-renewal circles. And, join people everywhere who are learning to Live Inside Out (become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page). Want to taste a self-renewal circle? Don’t forget to sign up for the free June 11th for our PRG “Sampler.”

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau, Hoh Rainforest, Olympic National Peninsula, WA.

The Release

Happy New Year!

Being a coach and someone who is always exploring the realm of "human potential," I love the New Year. It's a great time to release what didn't serve you or blocked you in the previous year (some of my friends even like to write down these qualities or issues on paper and burn them as I way of signifying their moving on) and start with a clean slate.

So today as advance copies of my new book "The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal" (www.reneetrudeau.com) are released, I'd also like to personally release: the need to know (why, how), the need to feel "in control" and the need to have a plan (that's the joke around my house, my four-year old will say "so mom, what's the plan for the day?") What is that quote ... "Life is not a business to be managed, but a mystery to be lived?" Sometimes, I forget this.

In 2003 when I started the group for moms called the Personal Renewal Group (a free community service program) out of my own personal need to have deeper conversations about topics related to motherhood, self-renewal and reconnecting with "who I am," little did I know that four years later, it would turn into my life's work --for the next several years at least! So as I celebrate the release of the Guide and the release of things that didn't serve me in 2006, I also embrace the ability to ask for help, to travel easily in the "unknown" and to work in partnership with others.

What will you release AND embrace this year?