Staying Slow When Everything's Fast

Last Friday evening I became aware I was allowing someone I was working with to have too much say over how I was feeling. I was giving this relationship--a relatively new one--too much weight, too much power. And I didn't like how this was making me feel: rushed, speeded up and unsettled.

Walking out of yoga the next day after a calm savasana (deep relaxation), I was immediately assaulted by cars aggressively vying for parking spaces, a blaring radio, construction noises and the ringing of my cell phone. It seemed everyone and everything around was was chanting, "speed up, speed up!"  I slapped the off button on my car, sat quietly in the searing heat for a few minutes and heard a quiet voice ask, "Are you allowing others or circumstances to dictate the speed at which you live and move ... or are you in charge of your internal speed?"

Good question.

Sometimes I forget that I'm in charge of my internal state. I'm not a leaf being tossed about by the rain ...or the wind ...or the weather du jour. Even when everything around me gets crazy busy, I can choose how I want to "be." 

The other day after a heated argument with my ten year-old about screen time, he got up and walked out the front door. A few minutes later, he returned. He told me later he had gone outside to "take ten deep breaths and re-set." (I almost did a back flip with glee upon hearing this!)  He shared this was not the kind of day he wanted to have and he didn't want what was happening between us to set the course for the rest of his weekend. And for how he felt.

I have a feeling that this reminder to pay attention to my internal speed-- is preparing me for the upcoming fall (I'll be training an entirely new support team and preparing for a book launch on top of my other work). Is it possible in the midst of a lot of activity to not get swept up by what's going on around us? Is it conceivable that we can choose the speed at which we move through our day--even when everyone and everything around us is going 90 to nothing?  (Parents have to do this daily!)

Yep, it's possible. I've experienced it--in fact, many times. For me it always comes down to the question, "How Bad do You Want to Feel Good?" (read more). How important is my emotional well-being--feeling grounded and calm--and what am I willing to do to make this a priority?

Sometimes when my home or professional life are in utter chaos, an image of my mom sitting on our worn piano bench playing classical guitar in the middle of our large sunny kitchen comes flooding back. I can see my four brothers running madly around her, flashes of blue capes and slingshots whizzing by ...while she plays Bach, trying to find her center and attempting to slow down while everything around her is speeding up.

I plan to call on this image frequently as I move mindfully into the coming months and am pulling out my calendar right now to block out 8 hours for a personal retreat in late summer to help me anchor so I can stay slow when everything gets fast.

P.S. Have a background in PR/Communications and interested in playing with our team this fall/spring? Learn more about our Part-Time PR Coordinator Position.

INVITE: Interested in exploring how to stay calm in the eye of the storm and attune and respond to your true needs and desires? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in Massachusetts! We'd love to have you continue this conversation with us in our upcoming women's circle.
 
I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: The beautiful tall, still, graceful pelicans of Port Aransas, TX residing over the sometimes calm, sometimes turbulent sea.

Slow Down You Move Too Fast!

                    

This weekend I found myself frequently humming, "Slow down, you move too fast ..."

Lately, it feels like life is moving too fast. A month feels like a week--a week, like a day.

Saturday night we really felt the effects of this. 

My husband and I were supposed to attend a big fund raiser for my son's school. As we got closer to the hour of the event, we realized we were tired. Really tired. Lay down and sleep for five days tired (and this is in spite of the fact that we've all been going to bed on time!).

So instead of donning our party clothes, we put on scarves and jackets and drove to a nearby nature preserve to watch Jupiter, Venus and the Moon--through a powerful telescope--dance in the dark night sky. Our entire family was in bed asleep by 9:00.

A parent I talked to the other night--who is also a teacher--agreed, "Things seem to be moving really fast; everything seems unusually intense right now."

I saw a friend last night at an Indian restaurant who echoed our experience, "What's going on? It feels like we're all living at warp speed these days! Where's the off switch?"

This past weekend I went to a Kundalini yoga workshop on living in uncertain times and our teacher affirmed, yes, things are moving faster (on every level) and they're only going to continue to speed up.

When it feels like things are moving too fast, I rebel. I dig in my heels. I stop in my tracks. I stand still. And come home to myself--through my breath and often, through nature.

My brother lives in cabin in the woods in North Carolina; he sent me this haunting poem yesterday. I can't get it out of my mind. It beckons me to find ways and moments in my week to step off the merry-go-round and just s-t-a-n-d  still.

Maybe it will do the same for you.

Lost
Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

~ David Wagoner ~

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my April 13th Empowered Entrepreneur Retreat and my April Esalen and June Kripalu retreats
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization 
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more.

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out. 

Video:"Feelin' Groovy"-Simon and Garfunkel; The 59th Street Bridge Song. Written in 1966, the year I was born. Growing up in the sixties and seventies Simon and Garfunkel were constant voices in my home.

Aware ... ness

It's 7:00 a.m. I’m sitting at my computer replying to some timely emails before I finish helping my son find his shoes and water bottle and get out the door for school.

He walks into my upstairs office and sits down in the office chair opposite mine and begins to twirl in circles like a mad man, while telling me about a really cool skateboard trick he saw Connor, his 12-year old idol perform last night on our sidewalk.

When this happens—-which is quite often--I usually try and stop for a minute and explain that I can’t give him my full attention until I finish this task, but I'd love to meet him downstairs shortly or could he save the story for dinner time?

Sometimes I do this in gentle tones. Sometimes there’s a sharpness to my voice I wish wasn’t there.

But this morning, I stopped, looked up (I love his earnestness and passion), pushed my laptop aside and really saw him. For a moment, I jumped into his world, imagining how he must have felt watching Connor—wishing his small nine-year old string bean body could do what this testerone-flooded big boy’s could. I could feel how badly he wanted me to experience his excitement at witnessing this force of nature. And for a moment, a veil was lifted, and I did.

And when he left for school with his dad this morning and came to me for a goodbye hug and kiss, I held him tighter than normal and looked intently into his eyes whispering silently, “I see you.”

This five minutes of enlightenment reminded me of Betty Sue Flowers and her son, when she shared at a women’s conference years ago, that to really understand and connect with someone you have to have a desire to move into their world, to occupy their space. Not outside-in, but from the inside-out.

I’m carrying forward this moment into my week with the intention of having “heightened awareness” in how I approach my work, my team, clients, my family, friends and my environment.

I think a lot about being more present and how I can cultivate this quality in my everyday experience (listen here to the class Carrie Contey, PhD and I just led on this theme).

But, I’m realizing there are degrees of “presence.” And sometimes when I think I’m really listening to my son or husband or loved ones. I’m not. At least not like I did this morning with my little guy.

Before my husband and third-grader zipped off to school in our dirty VW, my son rolled down the window and I called out to him from the porch, “Maybe I could get a skateboard and we could try some of those tricks together?” He looked at me funny, “Mom, that would be embarrassing.” And then after a short pause, he added quietly but with hope .. “Would you really do that?” Yes, Jonah, I would.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Aug. 25 class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photos: After a heavy rain, our yard was filled with these critters. When my son brought in eight of them to adorn our bathroom sink and compete in a snail race, I was mortified ... and then delighted. They're actually very cool.

Doing vs. Being

This is the time of year that many of us feel more like human doings than human beings.

Yesterday afternoon, my husband and son went out to work on costumes for one of my husband’s upcoming Samba School gigs.

I had been looking forward to this rare present all day: two to three hours of quiet time alone in my house!

After they left, I hopped online to take care of a few timely work-related items (rare for me as I try to stay offline on the weekends).

Forty-five-minutes later, I looked up and—irritated-- felt the sands of time sifting through my fingertips. My mind raced to all the things I had wanted to do during this window—gardening, hiking, baking, cleaning out my closet, “pure fun” reading, biking (it was gorgeous and sunny in Austin yesterday). And as I noticed all of these distractions waving and running by with hopeful smiles like contestants on the Price is Right, I found my irritation subsiding and realized what I really needed to “do”—was nothing at all.

Finally surrendering, I grabbed a Mexican blanket, headed out into our backyard, found the warmest, sunniest spot I could and laid down on the grass.

Can you relate to any of this?

I think there are three kinds of people:
1. Those who feel they have to “do” to be worthy (they’re constantly in motion; this was me up until about age 35)
2. Those who feel they need to “do their work” before they relax and play (I’m in this camp with millions of other Puritan work ethic devotees)
3. Those who have no guilt ever about relaxing and playing at any time! (My husband sleeps here—in his book “any time is the right time for relaxing!”)

The wonderful, wise author/mind-body expert Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. says, "Remember—your to-do list is immortal. It will live on long after you’re dead."

Being very skilled at the “doing dance,” I can honestly share that it’s quite seductive.

We’re rewarded –particularly in the U.S.—for output. Our national anthem is "Just Do It!" (You don’t hear anyone say, “Can you believe how often she says ‘no’ and how much she’s slowed down? Wow, what a role model!”)

There are many dangers that come from over-doing, but I think one of the deadliest—and scariest for me when I go into over-drive-- is we forget who we are.

I’ve heard many of our Career Strategists clients share in the last ten years “Isn’t there more? I feel like I just go to work, take care of the kids, handle my endless work/home obligations, sleep on the weekends and then start all over again Monday morning.”

When we don’t balance “doing” with “being,” we begin to feel like robots instead of the juicy, creative, vibrant, alive beings that we are.

And we forget that “Life is not a thing to be managed, it’s a mystery to be lived.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ll take pondering life's mysteries over finding a new way to cook chicken breasts, any day.

Onward through the week ... with a bit more mindful attention to balancing being with doing. The best I can.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our April 29-May 1 Kripalu Self-Renewal Retreat in the Berkshire Mountains of MA >Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for March 31st life balance teleclass and read my March Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. (Note: This blog post appeared in a similar format in 2010. It is so timely, I had to share it again.)

Right Here, Right Now

Following a rich, connective one-day self-renewal retreat I facilitated on Friday, I attended and volunteered at GenAustin’s statewide We Are Girls Conference at the Ann Richards School for Girls all day Saturday. It was an emotionally intense weekend and one of the experiences I can’t shake was during a self-care workshop I led for high school girls and mothers Saturday afternoon.

At the end of our interactive workshop session where we explored the concept of self-care and what our portals are for self-nurturing and nourishment, I gave each woman a juicy Clementine orange.

I invited them to close their eyes and “fill” the orange with whatever it is they most need right now –support, the ability to say no, peace/well-being, self-acceptance, courage,etc. After this reflective meditation, I asked them to slowly smell, peel and then very mindfully, eat their imbued orange—symbolizing the act of fully “receiving” the qualities they had just bestowed upon themselves.

All of the moms in the room—except for one—were single, working women juggling a thousand daily obligations.

After the exercise, they shared how difficult it was to slow down and become that present (I could relate—I had a hard time eating just one section of the orange at a time!). One woman remarked that in her day to day life, she was afraid to slow down that much. She was so tired that she worried if she ever stopped and really allowed herself to become present and feel her feelings, she might not be able to get up to speed again to her normal ninety to nothing pace.

I think most of us resist being present much of the time. It's hard.

But I also know from personal experience, that it’s one of the secrets to experiencing more peace, well-being and harmony in our day-to-day lives.

I’m going to keep a sweet baby Clementine orange on my desk this week at work as I move into an overly-busy schedule and back-to-back events Thursday through Monday.

I’m hoping this visual will help remind me to slow down, to be more conscious, present and remember that overwhelm happens when I live in the future and anticipate all the things that lie before me.

And, the opportunity to feel peaceful exists when I stay right here, right now. In this very moment. And, then the next moment. And then, the next.

"Something wonderful begins to happen with the simple realization that life, like an automobile, is driven from the inside out, not the other way around. As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, rather than focusing on where you would rather be, you begin to find peace right now, in the present. Then, as you move around, try new things, and meet new people, you carry that sense of inner peace with you. It's absolutely true that, "Wherever you go, there you are." Richard Carlson, author, “Slowing Down to the Speed of Life” and “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff …And, It’s All Small Stuff.”

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like support for reconnecting with who you are and focusing on being more present in your everyday life? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and read how people are living more intentionally.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Trudeau--one of the juicy Clementine's from my self-care workshop.

Digesting

di•ges•tion (di jes′c̸hən, dī-);
noun; the absorption of ideas.

I recently listened to a radio interview with acclaimed historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, author of Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln.

She said that when Franklin D. Roosevelt was putting together the New Deal, he would venture out on his sailboat--sometimes for ten days at a time--to contemplate the situation.

John F. Kennedy, she said, had three days to sit with Cuban Missile Crisis before he had to take action.

Obama, if he’s lucky, will have 20 minutes to be with breaking news regarding the war in Afghanistan before the world hears of it on CNN.

I remember working with a career coaching client a couple of years ago who had recently left a toxic corporate environment after ten years and was “in the void”—preparing for her next career phase. She told me she was sure if she could just have two weeks of downtime to process and heal from the scarring experience, she’d be good as new and ready to launch into a new endeavor.

I bumped into her the other day. She shared she was surprised that it had taken her a full 18 months to recover from her corporate experience and digest what she wanted to keep and expel what she didn’t.

My new friend Christine Hohlbaum, author of The Power of Slow and I were visiting recently. Christine agrees that we’re living in a culture that doesn’t encourage us to take time to sit, absorb and fully be with things.

I can’t get this idea out of my head.

What revelations might we all be missing because we’re yes, moving too fast, but also not creating big spaces of time in our lives to really allow ideas to deeply seep into our bones? To fully digest concepts that may surface, but are quickly swatted away, like pesky flies.

I am on a writing sabbatical this month. What that means, is I am devoting roughly 4 hours a day to sit with a theme that has been bubbling up for me for two years. For my personality, it would be very easy to slide into being focused, outcome-oriented and wanting to answer “what is this all leading to?” –but, I’m resisting this urge.

Because right now, I really get that this is a meal I don’t want to rush through.

I have just pulled up my chair and with the utmost of care, I plan to relish and enjoy one long course at a time. So I can truly digest whatever it is that is churning within.

However long it may take.

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like to receive support and encouragment as you navigate a transition? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE July 15th Live Inside Out teleclass on Nurturing Your Spirit.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My husband at Julia Pfeiffer State Park, Big Sur, CA. He has the amazing ability to observe, reflect and digest scenery for long periods of time.

What's Your Speed Limit This Summer?

Thanks for all the great dialogue from my last post on Relationships.

I really enjoyed your insights and comments on relationships on our Live Inside Out community. If you'd like some great relationship tips, sign up to get my monthly Life Balance newsletter for some ideas on how Personal Renewal Group members worldwide stay connected to their partners and mark your calendar to join us on June 17th for a free couples teleclass on this topic (details at the end of this post).

As I head into my son's last week of school, make sure all my summer camp registrations are in, wrap up with our college interns who are graduating, work with my team on our staff summer vacation schedule, map out my interview/media/event deadlines, take care of end-of-school-year stuff, schedule key business meetings in June, plan for my July writing sabbatical and reflect on my professional/personal goals for the summer, I'm very clear I want this summer to be slow. I'd say speed limit-wise-- around 35 mph.

I'm sure this speed will fluctuate from time to time, I'll get written up for a few warnings and undoubtedly a few speed bumps will put me in my place, but overall, I want 35 mph to be my average cruise control setting through the month of July.

There are many things I want to accomplish on the business-front and home-front, but I can feel my body begging for me to slooowwww way down. And as my wise 8 year-old son says, "Slower is better, mom."

Check out my post on Summer of .... if you're in the same boat and really thinking about what kind of summer you want to experience over the next 10 weeks or so (in Texas, summer comes early!).

I'm sure everyone's speed will vary depending on their career/life stage and needs (the summer I wrote my first book, I was cruising at a steady 55 all summer long), but regardless, it's fun to think what speed limit you'd like to adopt this summer.

And if you like, share your maximum mph on our Live Inside Out community. Maybe we can all support each other in avoiding getting pulled over too often.

Also, I encourage you to check out my friend Beth's peaceful family tips from her beautiful new book "A Moment’s Peace: A Mom’s Guide to Creating Calm Amidst Chaos."

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like support for getting in touch with your needs and reconnecting with who you are? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE June 17th Live Inside Out teleclass for couples on Staying Connected to Your Partner and our June 11th The Empowered Entrepreneur workshop.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Sacramento, CA

Unplugged

This past weekend I led a Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings Spa and Resort for an amazing group of 32 women from around the U.S. It is deeply fulfilling work, but it also takes a lot of energy to “hold the space” for people as they move towards and begin to create the life/career they desire.

So, yesterday, I gave myself the gift of a day off for rest and completely unplugged. No laptop, no cell phone, no email, no phone calls, no responses to requests for help.

I began the day meeting a friend down on Town Lake (a beautiful lake that runs through the center of downtown Austin) for my favorite walk which takes me to the quieter, less populated area of the trail where I also get to see a lot of wildlife—bats, herons, swans, ducks, squirrels, cranes. The weather was amazing and it felt so good to not have to rush back to conference calls or meetings and to really slow down and soak up my surroundings.

Afterwards I asked my body what it needed and then went to Whole Foods (the “mother ship” is located in Austin) and picked up some amazing ripe mangos, sweet strawberries, huge creamy avocados and some brown rice California rolls—yum.

I ended up spending a long time in my beautiful backyard, eating mangos in the hammock, smelling herbs, listening to the birds, picking weeds and just sitting on the rocks around our beautiful water fountain doing … nothing.

Later, I headed upstairs and took a luxurious nap, did some journaling and drawing, pulled out some of the exercises I did at my recent writing/movement retreat and, had some really interesting ah-has (I love looking at deep inner work months or years later and harvesting new insights).

For dinner, I cooked an amazingly yummy broccoli/ginger/crispy tofu stir fry for my family and then went for a lazy walk in our neighborhood at dusk with a dear friend.

It felt like such a gift to really “untether” from the digital world like this.

Usually my days are filled with constant demands for my energy, time, talents and voice and so often this requires a lot of time online.

Last night, I reflected on the gifts that came to me from “unplugging,” including:
• physiologically I could feel my heart beat and blood pressure drop and slow way down
• I was more observant and connected to how things smelled, tasted, sounded, felt
• I was much more present with and attuned to my family Monday evening
• I felt more connected to my feminine or “yin” energy around receiving and allowing and less driven by my masculine or “yang” energy to produce, do, or create outcome (we all--men and women-have both energies)
• I could feel really feel the subtleties of how healing and restorative it is for me to spend time in nature and drink in the sounds/sights/smells from the natural world
• I had immediate clarity around what is essential and nonessential for me to focus on in my work (and life!)
• I could sense how wonderful it felt to “mono-task” and how much my brain enjoyed not being overworked to the point of being ineffective
• I was more connected to my creativity and could feel the stirrings inside of me of something new that is preparing to come forth

I wonder if I spent one day a week “unplugged” how it would affect my work and life?

Could it actually make me more productive on a day-to-day basis? Hmmmm.

Maybe you should try to totally unplug for a day? If you do, let me know. I’d love to hear about your experience.

JOIN US FOR A RETREAT: Would you like support for learning how to focus on your physical/emotional/spiritual and mental self-care? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift!

Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE May 18th Live Inside Out teleclass on Reclaiming Adventure in Your Life and our June 11th The Empowered Entrepreneur workshop.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you slow down and unplug.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Video: the zen water fountain in our backyard is surrounded by three huge rocks and trees/plants--a perfect spot to do ... nothing.

Find Your Center

When you're feeling unfocused and find yourself flitting from one thing to the next, what do you do to get grounded?

This is the question I have been asking a lot of clients, friends, organizations—and myself-- over the last month. We’re living in unusual times and unless you have the option of spending hours a day meditating alone in a monastery, you’ve probably experienced some of the collective chaos that is present in our world right now.

For me, one of the anchors that supports my ability to find my center and remember what’s really important is taking regular retreats.

Whether that’s one day each quarter to step back and get clear/focused on how I want to direct my energy or a 5-day spiritually intensive voyage to help me birth a new era in my life-- I am a huge believer in the power of retreating (read more on ideas for retreats).

Interestingly, I recently completed a beautiful vision map outlining how I intend to experience maximum ease and flow in my life this fall and at the top of the list was quarterly retreats and monthly mini-retreats (minimum of 8 hours) in my schedule.

There are other things I do that are essential to my experiencing equilibrium and well-being on a daily basis—meditation, movement, eating high energy foods, volunteering, time in nature, regular heartfelt connection with my family/friends—but I have found over the years that nothing pulls me out of myself, helps me remember who I really am or gives me inspiration, hope and clarity like taking a retreat.

If you’re in career or life transition or just craving a deeply soulful, nourishing and restorative retreat experience, I encourage you to consider joining me at my Oct. 2-4 Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings. (I’m so excited to be including special musical and movement segments with nationally known creative divas Sara Hickman and Dr. Deb Kern!). Or, if that’s not do-able, ask a friend who has a vacation property if you can rest and rejuvenate there for a day or two.

My primary focus at my retreats is not to just create an amazing weekend experience (which we do, read more), but to support the attendees in bringing self-care into their everyday life and experiencing how life-changing this gift can be.

It may seem like a luxury in our current times to take a break to invest in yourself, but my experience has been that when I slow down and learn to be more present, listen to my intuition and get back in touch with who I really am--the payoffs are huge.

AN INVITATION: Interested in learning how you can learn strategies and receive support for finding your center? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circles, signing up for our FREE September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are or attending our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings (early bird rate ends Aug. 31^st).

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau, north of Taos in north central New Mexico.

Flow

“I often joke with my audiences that I make most of my income on a ski pole. People smile but they get my point. You need to make time for your genius to flow. We get our creative bursts, those idea torrents that take our business and personal lives to the next level, while we are skiing or drinking coffee in a Starbucks or walking in the woods or meditation with a sunrise. Those pursuits are not a waste of time. Creativity comes when you are relaxed, happy and enjoying the moment. And when it comes, it brings ideas that rock your world.” Robin Sharma, author/leadership expert/idea generator

I am very interested in balance—experiencing it, enhancing it, helping others to define and claim it—because for the first 35 years of my life I was so out of balance (read more).

Contrary to a lot of time management experts, balance is not about equal time for work and family. For me, it’s the experience of having enough time, energy and resources to devote to those things that are most important to me: connection to my partner/son, work that feeds me creatively, the opportunity to empower others, a harmonious home, moving my body every day.

And this will change constantly depending on your career/life stage and the age of your kids (think about your priorities at 25 versus 35 versus 55).

As an entrepreneur, more and more I am starting to recognize what balance FEELS like moment to moment. For me, I know I am experiencing balance or equilibrium when I
*am not forcing outcomes to happen, but letting my inner GPS guide me (trusting my gut) as to the best course of action
*am aware of when I’m present with my family, friends and clients and how much I prefer this to the opposite
*feel generous and creative and ideas flow through and from me like water
*am feeling in flow and enjoying the delicate balance between planning/goal setting and responding to the unexpected or synchronous
*have enough space in my life to be attuned to/respond to the gentle mysterious taps on the shoulder we all receive (read my last posting on The Unknown) and to actually respond to these callings

I am enjoying my summer—blending work/play/family time with planning and personal growth-- but am also acutely aware that in less than four weeks, my 7-year old will be going back to school and my team and I will be moving into the 3 busiest months of the year for my business.

So today, as I review my ever-growing to-do list, my countless unread emails, the list of requests for my time/attention, I pause. (This morning I went in my backyard for a bit to watch the birds splash in our outdoor fountain and pull a few weeds from our patio—I find it helpful to get my hands in the dirt when I’m working on balancing left/right brain activity!)

And I know that for me to experience the type of Fall I desire, it’s essential—even critical—for me to create some space next week to take a trek up to the mountain top and reflect creatively on where my energy would be best spent between Sept. 1-Nov. 30th (I like to approach life in 90 day chunks).

And, to listen...very quietly and attentively. So I can be guided as to what choices I need to make to allow for lots time for flow.

P.S. Interested in receiving support so you can create more flow in your business, career or life? A few resources I can offer are my July 23rd, popular Austin-based Finding Your Career Mojo Workshop, our women's self-renewal circles, our September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are, my upcoming The Empowered Entrepreneur Workshop on Aug. 28th in Austin, TX (email info@reneetrudeau.com for details) or our fabulous October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings.

Also, check out Live Inside Out and learn how you can live more intentionally (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. After a long sweaty hike up a mountain in the Berkshires in MA, I discovered this jewel.

Time

My family and I just returned from a fabulous trip to the Big Bend National Park area.

This remote 800,000 acre national park is one of the most diverse and unusual—mountains/desert/river all in one area—and one of the least visited. You are literally “out there” on the border of Texas/Mexico. The area is very sparsely populated and it can take hours just to drive from one hiking trail or hot spring to another.

I love Big Bend because it’s very quiet (we could hear a hawk’s wings thunderously flapping as he flew through the still, monstrous Santa Elena Canyon). And at night, very dark (it’s recorded one of the darkest spots in the US). And, the few people who actually choose to live in this wild natural setting, are wonderfully eccentric.

I also love going out to Big Bend because the experience caused me to question time: how I do it, how I experience it and how self-imposed our ideas about time actually are.

I remember years ago a photography teacher stopped me dead in my tracks after I apologized for not being able to come in early for an evening printmaking session, due to my work schedule. He challenged me by saying it was my choice. I thought he was just trying to be a jerk and then it hit me—oh yeah, I do choose how to spend my time. Every minute of it and how fast or slow I choose to go.

We slowed way down during our trip. You had to (heck, it took an hour just to drive to pick up a six pack of Tecate). And I loved the pace.

During the trip, I was flooded with creative ideas, deeply symbolic dreams, inspirations about my work and was able to have some seismic shifts about how I see things ...because I was so slowed down. (Creativity experts write extensively about how when we move into the more playful/free flowing hemisphere of our brain, we are able to access our best ideas and solutions.)

Even though many would consider my current lifestyle and work pace to be steady—but not crazy—I’m realizing it’s still too fast for me.

So as I return to work and to the fullest time of year for my businesses (due to events, speaking gigs, retreats, Mother’s Day partnerships, etc.), I’m going to challenge how I “do” time.

When I start feeling that “I have so much to do, I’m never going to get it all done” springtime rush that comes when I look at piles of emails, requests for help, phone calls and to-do lists, I’m going to pause.

Maybe it can wait until tomorrow or next month? Maybe I can ask for help? Maybe this activity is really not the best use of my time? Or maybe, if I don’t do it all, it won’t make a bit of difference. Other than, I’ll be left calmer, happier and feeling more akin to the tortoise than the hare.

P.S. Interested in gathering monthly with other women who are interested in slowing down and living life from the “inside out?” Consider starting/joining a Personal Renewal Group in your community? Hundreds of groups are meeting around the US/Canada and Europe for moms/women at all life stages and more are starting each week. I also invite you to slow down and take time to really nurture yourself at my upcoming Spring Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings, April 24-26.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photos: Santa Elena Canyon and sun setting over the Christmas mountains, Renee Trudeau.

What Grounds You?

I just returned from a wonderful Intuitive Arts weekend retreat led by my fabulous colleague Diana Amorde. I came home feeling so much passion/clarity and focus around my work and life. I couldn’t wait to dive back in and start implementing some new ideas for our national Personal Renewal Group program.

Then Monday hit. And as I moved into an overscheduled week, navigating technology challenges, coordinating staff and intern responsibilities, working on my kid’s summer camp registration deadlines, juggling clients, media and meetings and fighting off feelings of collective overwhelm, the question surfaced “So Renee, what are you going to do to stay grounded this week?”

Regardless of what our days look like I think ALL of us are finding it increasingly easy—especially right now--to get swept up in the collective chaos (and yes, fear) that pervades our American culture these days.

And we’re being challenged to be extra mindful about separating what we’re feeling from what others are feeling.

A recent survey on attitudes towards the current economic crisis reported that 75% of all American felt stress/worry around the current economy, yet 75% also reported that personally, they were doing fine financially! Read my tips for navigating these times.

So this morning, I refused to get swept up in the wave that apparently 75% of Americans are riding and I paused to remind myself of what helps me to stay grounded, including:

*Starting every day with meditation/stillness and making this a priority no matter how busy I am or how much my son needs me to help him re-organize his Pokemon cards
*Making my self-care a priority, especially getting enough sleep, eating well and staying hydrated and claiming time for self-renewal (check out my upcoming April Spring Self-Renewal Retreat if you’re really ready to explore self-care!)
*Spending time in nature (this morning I walked around a beautiful lake in downtown Austin—nothing calms me like being in nature)
*Being very judicious about who I spend my time around (being particularly choosy about which friends and business partners I align with)
*Under-scheduling: as a “helper,” I have such a tendency to overschedule in my desire to lend a hand. My husband is great about heading this off at the pass and often suggesting we move things around to create more space and downtime in the evenings and on the weekends (thank goodness!)
*When in doubt, be kind. When I find myself feeling stressed out, I always think there are thousands that are dealing with heavier loads than mine. Kindness—towards ourselves and others-- goes a long way.
*Scheduling time for play! My husband just lined up a sitter for us to go to a free concert and hear some music this weekend.

What do you do to stay grounded? Do you have specific rituals or “mantras” you use to keep you anchored in the here and now? Do you recognize the point just before overwhelm and hit the pause button? How do you manage stress?

Photo: The view off my back porch at my weekend reteat at Canyon of the Eagles on Lake Buchannan.

WIN A FREE BOOK! Share your ideas with all of us and we’ll draw a name to receive a copy of my new book The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life for you to enjoy or give to a friend--great support for the coming months.

The Journey: This blog focuses on life balance and is published weekly by career/life balance coach/author/speaker Renee Peterson Trudeau (http://www.reneetrudeau.com/).

Rhythms

Cape Flattery, Olympic Peninsula, WA Renee Peterson Trudeau

I think one of the most critical pieces to enhancing balance or equilibrium in our lives is the ability to tune into –and listen—to our body and soul’s natural rhythms.

For the past three years, I have slowed down considerably during the month of January. This year—after extensive planning-- I’ll be taking time for a 30-day writing “sabbatical” (basically still working, jut not seeing clients or taking speaking engagements/meetings so that I can spend 4 hours a day exclusively focused on reflection and writing).

My birthday falls on the 7th and while traditionally this is a huge month for my career coaching/consulting firm, it always felt unnatural for me to push hard at work when everything else—the weather, the need for post-holiday self-care/recovery, a tendency toward mild Seasonal Affective Disorder, my need to do some deep inner preparation for the coming year—was guiding me to slow down and go inward, not outward, during this month. (Don’t worry—if you need career support, my coaching team is wonderful and will be around all of January!)

It only took me 40 years to realize how necessary this January slow-down is. Now I understand this to be essential to my physical, spiritual and emotional well-being.

Many cultures celebrate the Winter Solstice as the kick-off for the time of year when they honor our innate need for introspection, deep reflection and solo time. The Solstice—which fell on December 21st this year--marked the shortest day of 2008. It signifies the season of the year when we are asked to go inside ourselves and connect to the light on this darkest day of the year. It is also a time of rebirth.

This slowing down in January can be particularly challenging when our culture will soon start hyping the New Year’s mindset of "get our there and start making headway on your '09 goals!” (Actually counter to what our bodies and want to do during these cold, dark hibernation-friendly days, right?!)

Ask any mental health professional; most of their calendars are booked heavily during January. Unfortunately the rate of depression and suicide skyrockets during and after the holiday season. It makes you wonder if this might also be due in part, to the conflict some of us feel this time of year around slowing down vs. speeding up (and I acknowledge that for some, speeding up in Jan. feels most natural).

When I pay attention to my own natural rhythms, work and life flow. When I don’t, it’s like climbing a mountain with a 100 pound bag on my back trying to get things accomplished.

I like to ask myself, “what seasons or months am I typically most productive or creative?” and then capitalize on those. And also “what months or periods of the year are typically challenging for me?” and consider how I can build in extra self-care or lighten my load to support these times.

Consider pulling out your 2008 (and if you have it, 2007) calendar and review your year—when you were in flow and when you weren’t. And share your observations with a friend. This might lead to some interesting insights around your natural rhythms and when you need to take it easy vs. launch new projects.

Why work harder than we need to, right? I’d love to hear your observations around your natural rhythms.

P.S. My colleague, Jennifer Louden, the Comfort Queen, has some great materials, books and resources to support you in nurturing yourself during the winter and throughout the year. Love her work!

Perception

One of my favorite quotes is "Don't believe everything you think."

Author/speaker/spiritual teacher Byron Katie (http://www.thework.com/) tells a great story about an experience she had at a busy airport restroom. She waited in line and finally a woman emerged from the stall nearest where she was standing. Katie walked in and was immediately irritated to see the seat was completely wet! How inconsiderate and thoughtless of that woman, she said to herself. After Katie cleaned up the seat and was done, she flushed the toilet and as she unhooked the latch to leave, she noticed water from the commode backfiring and completely spraying the entire toilet seat!

Katie likes to say, "We're not always wrong, only 99% of the time."

How often do we meander down a trail of thought based on an assumption we're clinging to --about another person, a situation or whatever has triggered us--which in all likelihood is just flat out not true?

As a career coach, I hear stories all the time from clients who feel "wronged" by bosses, coworkers, clients, companies, HR departments, etc. Many times, when I suggest another way of looking at a situation, they realize how "off" their perception is about the situation. (My recent Career Management Resources newsletter: www.careerstrategists.net/htmlemail/july08.html) offered suggestions for moving beyond these wounds.)

Or, sometimes we adopt a certain way of seeing things that could be holding us back ("X is just too hard, it will cost too much, take too long, it will never work, etc.) and feel stuck in how we're perceiving the situation.

Last year, I pushed away accepting speaking engagements outside of Texas, thinking my son was too young, they would be too work-intensive, they wouldn't pay me enough to make it worth my time and on and on (you see where I'm going?).

About three months ago, I had a huge shift--don't ask me how-- around national/international speaking gigs and now my attitude is, bring 'em on--these are fun, easy, they let me leverage my strengths, they pay well and they provide me with a wonderful opportunity to help others on a larger scale! What more could I ask for?

Interesting how my perception changed so completely.

This morning, my sweet six-year old and I let Dad sleep in (he was up late playing at a Brazilian music festival) and decided to head out for an adventure.

We rode our bikes--for the first time--to the local Mexican restaurant 2 miles away for breakfast tacos. It was a bit of an obstacle course--navigating around dogs, other bikers, sprinklers, traffic lights, cars blocking driveways--and I have to admit, a part of me was slightly critical of the experience (wishing I had brought water, wishing the breakfast tacos were a little healthier, wishing my son's bike was a better fit for him, etc.).

But, my little guy perceived the morning as absolute perfection--"Mom, I love the breeze, we're riding our bikes somewhere new AND I just found a beautiful acorn on the sidewalk. This is the best time ever!!"

I'm grateful for my small, sweet teacher. And, the realization that a change in perception--and how we feel-- really is only a thought away.

P.S. If you feel like you're moving too fast to pause and question your "perceptions," check out my latest Life Balance newsletter: www.reneetrudeau.com/htmlemail/september2008.html and accompanying exercise on this topic.

Benefits of Slowing Down

My six-week writing sabbatical devoted to Everyday Spirituality is winding down as my family and I prepare to head to the Olympic Peninsula before my little one starts first grade later this month.

The experience has given me so many things to reflect on and be grateful for (and yes, a great idea did come to me as a result of all of my research/writing—but, I’m going to sit with it for a bit and see if I am guided to move on it ...if I learned anything from writing my fist book, it’s that you can’t push something if the idea and the timing are not ripe).

Slowing down my pace and devoting four hours a day to a theme that deeply intrigued and excited me—illuminated that even as an entrepreneur, coach/consultant, mom and recovering over-achiever:

· I can actually DO LESS and ACHIEVE MORE, even though this seems contrary to everything we’re taught in the U.S.
· The quality of my work has the capacity to be richer and deeper AND I’m more effective/efficient when I’m not multi-tasking to the extreme
· Delegating and saying “no” more is THE key to creating more spaciousness and flow in my life (but yes, I have to let go!)
· We ALL underestimate what we're capable of accessing when we have time and space to go deeper within ourselves and dive into the creative well
· I am able to become acutely aware of my own rhythms (how and when I “work best”) and creative projects have a timeline of their own!
· Peace first: starting my day in silence (whether that’s for prayer/mediation or reflection) sets the tone for the entire day and is a necessity for me
· It’s helpful to question my motivation for doing things—“Is this something I truly want to do or am I saying yes from a sense of obligation?” particularly when it comes to social or volunteer stuff
· When I move too fast—I miss magical moments: facial expressions, comments made in passing, our environment, gifts from nature, opportunities to support those I care about
· When you make it a priority to FIRST dedicate a chunk of your daily “work time” to something that feeds you, necessary work tasks become easier to handle (you’ve been fed, now you’re ready to give!)
· It’s important for me to stay open and sometimes “goal—less”—goals are great, but often then can limit you or stand in the way of you experiencing something you had never imagined
· Self-awareness comes when we have space to reflect/be objective—the more clearly we can recognize our patterns, the easier it is to release them
· The tighter we hold things, the more “stuck” we stay—when we loosen our grip and feel more spacious/relaxed, solutions to complex problems miraculously appear
· You’re more aware of synchronicities when your pace is slower: you are attuned to your intuition AND actually able to hear and respond to gentle those gentle nudgings we all receive
· You become more accepting: wherever you are, there you are (read my last blog posting on ACCEPTANCE)
· You feel more grateful when you slow down (I’ve been writing two thank you notes a week this month to people who have blessed my life ... the more grateful I act, the more grateful I feel and so on and so on)

I am very glad I created the space on my calendar six months ago to make this sabbatical possible. Moving forward, the challenge of course is how to balance BEING (staying present, mindful, in the flow) with DOING (our work, taking action, being results-oriented). I’m sure you’ve heard the popular truth “We are human beings—not human doings!”

I know this see-sawing can be hard—very hard—and a life-long challenge for most of us. And, we also all realize, we wouldn’t be able to launch businesses, manage huge projects at work or write books if weren’t engaging both the DOING and the BEING.

I intend to integrate these insights into my daily routine this fall. And most importantly, remember that “Life is not a thing to be managed, it’s a mystery to be lived.” Amen. I think we’d all agree we need more time to live in and explore the mysteries of life. And I believe for this to happen, we all need to slow down.

Safe travels this month if you’re heading for cooler climate. I’ll share some photos from our visit to the rainforest/Olympic National Forest when I return. Shalom.

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like to receive support from like-minded women and be with people who hold the highest and best for you? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our November 5th One-Day Reflect, Reclaim, Re-Balance Women's One-Day Self-Renewal Retreat and our FREE October 14th Live Inside Out teleclass on Being More Present and Remembering What Matters.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and read how people are living more intentionally.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: East coast of Ireland; Trudeau's summer 2007 trip.

Seasoning

I started a six-week writing sabbatical--basically dedicating 4 hours/day to writing about and exploring a theme that has been sitting with me for over a year--on Monday June 30th.

I have been planning since January--moving client appointments around, tightening our company overhead this summer, arranging for neat summer camp experiences for my son, making sure my staff were prepped and ready to step in for me--in order to make this time possible. (I am still running two businesses during these months, but did say "no" to a lot of new business/clients, events and speaking gigs so I could dedicate this time to my new writing project.)

I swore when I started that I was going to release any stuff around "goals" for this sabbatical (i.e. a book, a CD, a "product") and really just play with this theme--conducting some informal research, doing some interviews, playing with mind mapping and creativity exercises, selecting some new reading around my chosen topic and journaling, journaling, journaling. And, having a lot of fun with my family during my downtime.

I've been "goal-less" for the most part, but man, it can really be hard to release attachment to outcome. I guess I still have some overachiever tendencies lingering in my bones! (Ha ha)

One of the things that has become very clear is that now, less than two weeks into this, I'm discovering that this respite is more about me and my personal/spiritual growth and moving into a new way of being, than a writing project. It feels as if all of the stuff that I'm processing through intense nightly dreams, conversations with close friends and daily revelations are part of my seasoning--preparing me for my next big life stage. (I recently learned about the phrase "seasoning"--a term the Quakers use to describe a period of waiting, where action is not taken because the"way" has not yet "opened"--through Your Soul's Compass, a book I'm reading by http://www.joanborysenko.com/.

I couldn't stop laughing, I told my husband recently, as I envisioned the really powerful (yet humorous) image of myself standing in a tall high rise office building outside of a conference room filled with men and women in suits sitting around a table working very fervently on something that appeared to be very important. I knew I was not to enter and the sign on the door say "Renee's Life Purpose-Keep Out!" I'll know when I know and not before. :).

I'll share more later on the insights I've been having on work pace (mine and our collective), the price we are all paying by working at brake-neck speed AND the theme I'm exploring this month and next.

Marianne Williamson, author/teacher (http://www.marianne.com/) says "Every change is a challenge to become who we really are." I think that describes perfectly the metamorphosis that I'm experiencing right now.

Mindfulness

All last week I started my mornings walking around the Town Lake hike and bike trail in Austin, alone.

Being such an extrovert, I typically walk with a partner and use this early morning time for walk/talk meetings or rare windows to connect with friends I rarely get to see. After returning from my recent retreat though, I found my thoughts and demeanor so reflective that I had to be alone. I was craving my own, sweet, silent company.

As I walked and felt the gravel crunch under my Keens, dryness in my mouth and the sweat running down my back and arms, I wondered how many times have I done this walk? Hundreds? And how many times had my mind been somewhere else--focusing on the next approaching landmark, what type of taco I was going to pick up for breakfast or my growing "to do" list that awaited me back at the office?

On my walks last week, however, I played with the concept of mindfulness or "present moment living." I noticed the smells around me--strong body odor, rotting plants, sweet honeysuckle and how brilliant the colors of the blooming cactus and blossoming flowers were that lined the path--they literally seemed to explode before my eyes. At one point, I had to stop to really take in the beauty of these cactus blooms (above)--their intensity overwhelmed me.

I also focused on the muscles in my legs--in my thighs and calves and feet and marveled at how they worked together in harmony to effortlessly carry me the 3.6 mile distance around the lake.

I noticed a slightly metallic taste in my mouth and felt my breath changing, speeding up, slowing down, but always flowing.

The thought that I could not get out of my head was--how many times have I missed amazing gifts: moments, words, facial expressions, subtle nuances in communication, missed opportunities to connect, from not being mindful? From not really using my senses to full absorb and take in what was going on in the moment?

After my mindfulness experiment last week, I wanted to hear mindfulness guru/author John Kabat Zinn and found a link to an interview he did with Oprah--check it out if this speaks to you: http://www2.oprah.com/index.jhtml.

I love the poem they referred to during their interview. I'll include it here for you to enjoy and would love to hear how mindfulness looks throughout the course of your days.

P.S. More to come tomorrow on how my writing sabbatical has been going--the experience has been nothing less than intense. And surprising. And at times, very challenging. Surprise, surprise :).

Love After Love

The time will come when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door,

in your own mirror, and each will smile at the other's welcome, and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was yourself. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another,

who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs,

the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.

-- Derek Walcott

Expanses of Unscheduled Time

Last weekend I had one of the most “decadent” and enjoyable weekends I’ve had in months. I had wanted to go out of town for the holiday weekend, but my husband convinced me we should just stay in town and take it easy.

Even though we’re very mindful of what we say “yes” to on the weekends, often, Sunday evening rolls around and we don’t feel truly rested and nourished. The weekend was simply too scheduled.

During the recent holiday weekend, my husband and I took turns taking naps (while the other played with our six-year old), I got a massage, we read, we made some great fresh summer dishes that we shared with our neighbors, saw a movie, spent time going on walks and gardening as a family and for the most part, just hung out and let our days unfold. It felt luxurious! (Sometimes cleaning out the sock drawer is just the soul food we need!)

As I age, I find the less I have to do, the happier I am. And when I can create “expanses of unscheduled time” in my life and my family’s life, magic happens. The ordinary becomes extraordinary. I’ve heard life coach Cheryl Richardson (http://www.cherylrichardson.com/) say that our quality of life is enhanced by what we take out of our schedule/days, not by what we put in. I can’t agree more.

I have been planning for the last 6 months to allow my schedule some space to slow down considerably in July and August. While I will be working during those months, I’ll be on a mini writing sabbatical in July and part of August and am really looking forward to claiming chunks of unscheduled time during these slower months. And, I can’t wait to see what unfolds from these “closets of intentional space.” I hope you can find some time to do the same.

P.S. Talking about balance, I encourage you to check out Stew Friedman’s (head of Wharton School of Business’ Work/Life Initiative) new book http://www.totalleadership.org/. I met him when I attended a workshop he led in Austin, TX last week at Bazaarvoice and was really excited and encouraged by his “whole person” approach to work/life effectiveness and leadership. It’s incredibly refreshing to meet a business teacher/leader who advocates for self-care and alignment with personal values and to hear him share about the profound impact the birth of his first child had on his world view and desire to promote a new way to lead. Read a recent New York Times article on Stew’s recent talk and approach here: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/29/business/smallbusiness/29shift.html?em&ex=1212379200&en=2781ffd821336324&ei=5087%0A. Three cheers for Mr. Friedman!