Let's Infect the World...with Love

Yesterday, sitting arm to arm with my husband in the sanctuary of our church, I found myself wiping away tears every few minutes. My heart was swollen--it physically ached. At the end of the service while singing Angels We Have Heard on High, I could barely look at the group of young boys and girls gathered at the front of the room without sobbing.

I realized that this was the first time I had allowed myself to truly feel the depth of emotion Friday's shooting in Newtown, CT had stirred within me.

"Can you imagine how much pain this poor boy must have been in to feel his only course was to act out in this way?" our spiritual director Tim said during our service on Sunday. "The world is not a bad place, but it is sick. And it needs healing."

While violence like this seems so ugly and unimaginable it leaves most of us paralyzed, feeling helpless and hopeless about how we can help-- what I know in every cell of my being is that when one of us chooses love over fear we infect our entire collective "body." When one of us prays or holds the vision for larger healing--we are all affected (read more from medical pioneer Dr. Larry Dossey's research on the power of prayer).

So what can we do in these coming days and weeks--besides praying and lighting candles--to soothe our country's torn heart and to nurture our collective soul? We can remember that we're more interconnected than we could ever imagine and that when one of us puts loving kindness and compassion at the forefront of our lives, we all benefit.

December Challenge: Want to "do something" to infect the world with more love and compassion and send healing to your brothers and sisters in CT? Get off your butt and see who in your community needs your help. Call your local United Way or ask your friends/co-workers who needs help in your community. Or, just pause and look around you. Take the time and effort to reach out to a friend, colleague or neighbor who is struggling and could use some emotional support (read more). I have been so busy preparing to launch my new book, I had cancelled our annual volunteer trip to serve the homeless Christmas dinner through the wonderful Mobile Loaves & Fishes. But this morning, I changed our RSVP from "too busy, I'm sending a check," to "we'll be there with pies in hand and are available all evening." 
  
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Photo: Serving the homeless and healing the world bit by bit.

Loving Kindness

Although the holidays can sometimes bring up a lot of old emotional stuff for me (those of you who have experienced loss in your families can relate), I love to see the tremendous generosity that abounds from the human spirit this time of year

At the same time, seeing all the piles of presents and the outpouring of financial and volunteer help that we offer to the homeless and the impoverished mainly around Christmas time, has always made me a little sad.

A couple of weeks ago, at the end of an overscheduled week, I ran out to grab some Thai food from a restaurant around the corner, while my husband put our very tired six-year old to bed. We were hoping to carve out a little downtime together over Pad Thai and cold beers and catch up on all the events of our particularly stressful week.

As I pulled into the parking lot in the restaurant thinking “how quickly can I get in and out of here?” I saw a twenty-something bedraggled looking guy—who was probably homeless--sitting on the curb with his dog.

My immediate thought was, “please don’t stop me while I’m coming in or out of the restaurant, I really need to get home to kiss my son goodnight so I can have some time to relax. I’m exhausted.”

I picked up our to-go order and made a beeline for my car which was parked about 5 feet from where he was standing. As I exited, a woman and her 8 or 9-year old son walked out in front of me and began to initiate a conversation with the young man. The mother offered her son’s dinner to the guy—she said her son had eaten earlier and wasn’t hungry and had not even touched the food. And, then she insisted on going back in the restaurant to get the guy some plastic utensils, a napkin and water for his dog.

My physical reaction to this little life lesson was so strong, my eyes were flooded with tears and I could feel a small ache in my heart.

There are a lot of HOPOS out there (how my dear friend Margaret Keys loving refers to those of us who are deeply fed by “helping other people out”). And, I deeply believe it’s the responsibility of all of us to do all we can to bring more compassion and kindness to our communities and to the planet.

Like many, I try to be a catalyst and a volunteer whenever I can for small and large-scale community service work. (I was fortunate to have been raised in a family where giving to and helping others was just part of the everyday experience of living.) And, I know I do make a difference in many people’s lives.

But this recent experience—and the timing of it—hit me hard, reminding me that there are opportunities every day to serve and support one another, whether that’s the homeless guy on the corner, the sad looking teenager checking me out at the grocery store, the lonely mom I see in the afternoon when I pick up my son after school. or my own child who is in disequilibrium.

And, that generosity and loving kindness towards one another doesn’t have to be limited to a specific time of the year.

SUGGESTION: If you’re in the Central Texas area, a great web site to learn about year-around volunteer activities is Hands on Central Texas: http://www.unitedwaycapitalarea.org/volunteer/volunteer_now.php. And, the charity that our Personal Renewal Group program supports, Girls Empowerment Network Austin, is an amazing nonprofit that always needs volunteers and financial support to run their highly acclaimed self-esteem/empowerment program for young girls.

IMAGE: This painting is from the amazing artist Judy Paul. Check out more of her work on the East Austin Studio Tour Nov. 22-23. I took my son on this yesterday with friends and he loved it.

Interconnected

I was raised by parents who felt strongly about serving and giving to others, whether that be taking kids from the local orphanage out with us on Sunday family outings, generously supporting a family in our church community whose house had burned down, buying 100 boxes of Girl Scout cookies to give to neighbors or purchasing a refrigerator for our Laosian babysitter who was raising five children in addition to helping my mother with her seven.

I had never really made the connection about how strongly my parent’s actions and attitudes affected my perspective on service and volunteerism until our Biz+Balance Meeting (www.careerstrategists.net/b-b) last Thursday night when we explored the topic of community service and how it impacts our children, our businesses, our passions and our hearts.

My mom was a huge Mother Theresa fan. I think of a quote once shared by this amazing peace advocate "Service is compassion in action."

This idea really captures the best of my mom. She might have struggled with self-love and at times was not there for us emotionally --but she was incredibly compassionate towards others, both friends and strangers.

Many of us care so deeply about the causes and atrocities that we're grappling with as a society--both in our own cities and globally--that we get overwhelmed and we turn away or shut down, thinking what can I really do that will make a difference?

One of the entrepreneurs at our Biz and Balance gathering brought up a great point, though.

While many of us do choose to jump in and get involved in our local communities in big ways and small ways--whether it be stocking cans at the local food bank, starting a foundation to promote girls' empowerment or handing out water and sandwiches to the homeless , aren't there just as many opportunities to serve those right around us who desperately need our help?

The friend who has two kids with special needs and hasn't had an overnight trip away with her husband in seven years ..... the co-worker’s sister who just got divorced and is struggling to find work....the mom in our book club who just needs someone to really listen and be present for her..... the recent college grad who is struggling with depression and needs referrals for support .....the young Korean boy in your son’s kindergarten class who just moved her and is struggling to assimilate and make friends?

I believe we are all interconnected, and the more we reach out and are present to one another’s pain and suffering the stronger we all become. (And it becomes easier to embrace this esoteric idea that we're all one.) I believe ultimately a huge shift in consciousness could come about, not when we are all finally mediating 30 minutes every morning --although that certainly wouldn't hurt things--but when more and more of us begin reaching out and helping one another make it through this sometimes scary, often isolating and perplexing but wondrous world.

P.S. Beginning July 1, I will be on a six-week writing sabbatical. Before you envision me sitting in the Himalayas writing on papyrus leaves, what this actually means is I am “giving” an idea that has been tapping me on the shoulder for a year, four hours of dedicated time each week day. I’ll be playing, writing, exploring, questioning a theme which greatly interests me and I’ll be posting weekly to share my insights on what it’s like to dedicate space in your life to exploring a creative endeavor.

P.P.S. I also just got back from a retreat with http://www.joanborysenko.com/ and I can’t stress how crucial it is—I believe—that we all take time to “retreat from the world. I hope you can sit down and create the space in your schedule this summer or fall to take a retreat. My last newsletter shares some ideas on this:
http://reneetrudeau.com/htmlemail/june2008.html . And, if it speaks to you, consider joining me at my women's self-renewal retreat in late September!