Serving Up Self-Compassion

 

Yesterday I felt like I was swimming through mud.

I was feeling judgmental and self-critical and everywhere I turned, all I could see were barriers and road blocks.

During my morning meditation (the one thing that usually always cleans my "lens"), the negative thoughts kept coming, dancing across my radar like annoying contestants from The Price is Right.  It seemed relief was nowhere in sight!

My saving grace? I knew my thinking was off. At the same time that I was stewing in "not good enough" chowder, there was a level of discernment happening--thanks in large part to a presence coach I began working with almost 17 years ago that introduced me to the principles author/therapist Richard Carlson taught relating to thought and mood.

Even though I was having a hard time pulling myself out of this funk, I knew I was responsible for feeling yucky. I was the originator of these negative thoughts. These pesky, multiplying “tribbles” (remember these on Star Trek?) were having a field day at my expense. And yes, the quickest way to change my mood was to change my thinking, but yesterday morning, this task looked as daunting as climbing Mount Everest.

So I acknowledged where I was. I stopped trying to change things. And, I stepped back and looked at the big picture (I had been woken up at 3:00 a.m. by my husband's snoring, I was swamped at work and I was getting over a cold). I gave myself a break and reached out and asked for some support. I kept my expectations low around my work output.  I tried to laugh at myself (“You’ve got to be kidding ….you think I’m going to believe THAT?!). And I drank a tall glass of self-compassion as I sat with the  reminder that this too shall pass.Tomorrow is a new day.

A part of me--what I call our "Wise Self"--knew that this state of insanity was temporary, like clouds passing overhead. I am not my negative thoughts.I was just entertaining these unwanted house guests.

We're all guaranteed of one thing--the thoughts (good, bad and ugly)-- will keep coming. As long as we're human, we'll keep experiencing both high and low moods. And occasionally, when we're lucky, we'll get to watch our naysayer thoughts float on down the river while we wave from the banks. Or we can wrap ourselves in a big soft blanket of self-compassion and tenderness when instead, we're on the raft clinging tightly to them.
 
INVITE: Interested in learning how to cultivate self-compassion and be more accepting of where you are right now? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Wellness.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this fall or spring
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: One of our Self-Renewal Retreat attendees creating a piece of self-compassion heart art.

The Unknown

I recently returned from a week-long Shakti Sadhana Women’s Yoga Retreat (dancing with amazing powerful women like Shiva Rea and Wah) at Kripalu, a beautiful retreat center in the Berkshires in upstate MA.

The experience was transformative (you know those kind of rare immersions when you feel like your DNA has literally been altered—energetically if not physically?). More on my experience later—right now I still want to keep this experience cozy and totally mine.

Among other things, this week-long adventure helped me to see where I’m headed and why my old friend fear has been tapping on my door lately: I’m moving into the vast unknown. Unchartered waters. Taking the big leap. Rock climbing without a harness. (Remember the old cartoons of Wile E. Coyote stretched between two cliffs with one foot on each side—that’s me right now!)

I often ask my coaching clients what is it that you know you must do ....even if it doesn’t make financial or business sense?

Most of us have had times in our life—whether is was professionally or personally driven—where we were compelled to act or follow a path. Writing a book, buying a fixer-upper, taking a trip to India, standing up in a crowded room to speak out when our knees were knocking, spontaneously putting in our notice at work, reaching out to hold someone's hand on a second date or jumping into frigid spring waters—all fall into this category.

That’s pretty much where I am right now.

I am making some radical, bold business decisions that are quite risky, yet I know I have no choice but to follow the path that quite clearly has my name etched on it’s sandy floor.

And my job? To trust that even though it may feel like I’m free falling, I’m always surrounded by support—I believe, from this world and the next.

So, big breath, here we go!

P.S. Are you on hanging out in the"unknown" right now, too? I encourage you to reach out and get support. A few resources I can offer are my July 23rd, popular Austin-based Finding Your Career Mojo Workshop, joining one of our women's self-renewal circles or attending our October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings.

Also, check out Live Inside Out and learn how you can live more intentionally (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. Monk's Pond, The Berkshires, Lenox, MA.