Re-Defining Balance

The other night at dinner my eight year-old son asked us what “ponder” means.

It got me thinking.

Lately, I’ve been getting clearer that I want to reduce the number of hours I work each week.

I am really feeling a strong pull to be even more present with my family and to have more time for family-related activities, like unscheduled downtime in the evenings and cooking (something my son loves to do, too).

While I have a flexible schedule and have created a work day that supports me in picking up my son from school most days –which I am incredibly grateful for-- the pace of my schedule is still too fast.

I want to have time to occasionally go to lunch with friends, take a break to enjoy my hammock or even read the newspaper (none of which I feel I have time to do now as I'm juggling hundreds of daily emails, phone calls, interviews, clients, events, deadlines and programs).

What I’m realizing is the schedule that worked great for me a year ago, doesn’t work for me now.

I define balance as having enough time, energy and resources for those things that matter most—at this particular life stage.

I’m acutely aware that life with my sweet second grader is fleeting and in no time at all, he’ll be leaving for college!

I also know that our wonderful, relaxed family meals every night looking out at the woods behind our house, the incredibly tender evening bed time routine and the thoughtful, heartfelt conversations I enjoy with my precious family are as good as it gets.

So, I intend to map out this new work schedule—which will start Sept. 1--this summer.

I don’t know how I’ll get there—two full-time national businesses do require a fair amount of energy. But, I’m not worried. I know the solution will present itself because I’m so clear and committed to what is most important to me right now and to how I want to spend my time.

And, because ultimately I want to teach my son not just how to observe, think or deliberate (which to me all denote a desired outcome) … I want to teach him about the importance of taking time to ponder life's questions. And I want the time and space to do the same.

JOIN US FOR A RETREAT: Would you like support in re-defining what balanced living means to you? Join us April 23-25 Refresh, Reclaim, Re-Balance: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings Spa & Resort in Austin, TX, but sign up today to ensure your spot. Or, escape to the cool mountains in August and join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat in the MA Berkshires, Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet!

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The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: A view of the Boston Harbor from Boston's downtown greenway. A wonderful invitation to ponder what it might have been like to live in this area in the 1700's.

Thank You Jonah

My husband and I are taking a seven-week parenting class right now.

Most of us weren’t “born” to know how to consciously parent and many of us didn’t have healthy models for how to be in relationship, so getting support on how to do the hardest and most important job in the world is well worth the resource and time investment, in my book.

Although we’ve taken some classes here and there, this one in particular, has been quite enlightening. And, for me, it’s brought up deep feelings of gratitude for the opportunity to be a mother to this sweet, wonderful soul and to be his pupil. (Even when he challenges me to my limit!).

I was inspired this week to write a thank-you letter to my Zen Master. Here it is:

Dear Jonah:

Thank you for choosing me as your mother.

I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to accompany you on your journey on planet earth this go around.

You remind me daily of all the good that exists in each of us, in the world, how interconnected we all are and what really matters.

You’re the most profound teacher I’ve ever had (where did you go to school again?!).

I’ve learned so much in the last seven years about patience, kindness, compassion, openness, trusting, starting over, softening, releasing, letting go, stretching, expanding and slowing down.

And I love to hear you remind me, “Mom, things are better when they’re slow.”

You’ve taught me volumes about forgiveness—towards those closest to me, my parents and especially my self. And about love—its limitlessness, its power and its ability to heal everything--always.

You stop me daily in my tracks with your wise words and insightful perspective and I love it when you quote Byron Katie and ask, “Mom, is this your business, his/her business or God’s business?”

Nature—oh beautiful, healing, serene, awesome nature. Our favorite playground and the environment where I feel most connected to who you are and our innate divinity. Thank you for inspiring me to return to nature time and time again to replenish my well.

I am looking forward to all the lessons you have in store for me in the coming years. And, I appreciate your faith in me as your mother and your willingness to love me, warts and all.

Thank you for being such a source of inspiration for me to give birth to the best that is within me.

With deep gratitude. Love, Renee


P.S. Interested in meeting once a month in a women's self-renewal circle to enhance your ability to be more present and parent more consciously? Join or become trained to lead a Personal Renewal Group for mothers. Life coaching groups are meeting from Amsterdam to Akron. Nothing has had a more profound impact on my parenting than being in a PRG.

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The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.


Photo: My friend Susan Goodman took this picture of Jonah and I in 2003.