Can I Be Grateful for What's Not Going My Way?

Sunday morning I woke up excited and looking forward to attending my good friend’s community potluck and documentary viewing when I discovered the keys to my car were in the glove compartment of my locked car and my husband--who had the second set—was out for the morning with our son. Fully dressed, coconut honey-lime fruit salad in hand, I realized my morning plans had just taken a giant nosedive—I was going nowhere.

There have been many times in my life when I’ve perceived things were going “wrong” (not my way) and later it turned out they were exactly perfect. BUT the other day—in the middle of a giant funk---I wondered, where can I find gratitude for what’s not going my way right now.

Today, I’m feeling called to pause and gratefully acknowledge (with just the tiniest bit of resentment):

• the business systems within my organization that no longer work and are asking to be reformed
• on-the-job inefficiencies that make you feel as if you want to pull your hair out
• family and relationship struggles and miscommunication that seem unnecessary
• learning in a way that feels “hard” (you know what I mean)

Why am I celebrating these frustrations? Because even though the silver lining from these hardships has yet to be revealed, my greatest learning--and growth--has come from mistakes, because the pearls that have come to me from living in the unknown have changed my life, and because I know that the ability to “reset” and start each day fresh and new is a gift unto itself. These struggles are calling me to develop a level of discernment unlike any I’ve had before and offering me the chance to really step into new ways of being.

Am I dealing with some things that are uncomfortable, challenging and messy right now? Yep.  Am I open to the growth that may come from these? Yeah (at least I think so).

What about you? Are you watching old systems, structures or ways of being topple to the ground and beg to be re-imagined or rebuilt?  I thought so. We’re all drinking from the same well.

Sending us all lots of compassion and courage as we stretch into the highest versions of who we are over the next month. And the next time you have a flat tire or life throws you a real sucker punch, pause and see if you can find even the tiniest seed of gratitude in the middle of seeming disaster.

P.S. Self-employed, live in Texas and ready for a new way of being with your business? I have a couple of spots left for my 12/14 Envision, Align, Expand: 2013 Visioning Retreat.(ony offered twice a year!).
 
I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this spring or hire Renee to create one for your group
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo: a pumpkin cheesecake that didn't out as expected.

Why Do I Lead Retreats?

Driving back from a yoga class this morning, Stephen Cope’s quote flitted across my mind:  “Retreats don’t change our lives as much as they change where we stand in relationship to our lives—and our capacity to see the hidden possibilities there.”  (Stephen Cope, MSW, is the director of Kripalu’s Institute for Extraordinary Living)

As I prepare to head to Esalen—the mystical, infamous, world-renowned retreat center in Big Sur where my mom used to hang out in the 70's when we lived in Northern California (read more)-- I reflected on why I lead retreats. Really. Honestly. What is my drive for dropping everything and heading off to hard-to-reach spots on the east and west coast to help others reconnect with themselves and hear what their lives—and inner teachers—have been trying to tell them for weeks, months or sometimes years?

There are a lot of reasons I do this work, but one of the biggest is because I believe taking retreats should be as essential to our life as breathing. Or getting our car’s oil changed. Or going to the eye doctor. (Read more.)

I loved sitting with this question and as I reflected, I got clear that I lead retreats because:

• they provide attendees with a 30,000 foot perspective—and the opportunity to see their life through a fresh lens
• for many, slowing down enough to hear their inner wisdom can be—and often is-- life changing
• they validate, affirm and remind the participants that they’re not alone, we’re wired to be interdependent and receiving support is essential to our emotional health
• it is inspiring and moving to see how blown away women are when they engage in and observe the power of women’s circles
• I love holding “space” for participants in way that makes it possible for them to hear what they MOST need to hear
• I love experiential teaching (I recently discovered that this is how I learn best) and when I’m doing this, I'm in flow, in my zone and doing what I'm truly here to do
• I get the chance to deeply connect to and follow my intuition—so much so that I’m prepared to scrap my whole retreat schedule and take a totally different route-- if guided to do so in the moment
• I get to share the powerful, life-changing practice of self-care—a spiritual path that has radically and profoundly affected me, my family, my relationships and my career on every level

This evening while visiting with my neighbor over dinner, I told her I have a strong hunch that this upcoming retreat may bring many revelations and unexpected gifts that could impact my life for years to come.

I believe there are no mistakes—-particularly when you gather a group that has traveled from far away spots to be together--and I’m relishing this opportunity to venture into the unknown and to see what awaits me. And what awaits the women who will be joining me.

Invitation: I'd love to have you join me April 27-29 at Esalen in Big Sur, CA or June 22-24 at Kripalu in the MA Berkshire mountains. The retreats are almost full; learn more here.

P.S. In honor of Mother's Day, we're giving away a Yummy Mummy Year-of-Self-Care package, which includes an all expenses paid trip to my Kripalu retreat (a $2500 value). Learn more.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my April 27-29 Esalen, June 8th Empowered Entrepreneur and June 22-24 Kripalu retreat;check out all upcoming events
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more.

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur ReneeTrudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out. 

Photo: (above, by Sara Bogan) A beautiful mother and daughter who attended one of our Kripalu retreats last year. (Below): the view from the front lawn at Kripalu Yoga & Wellness Center in June.

Risking It

My wonderful brother Kert, a Qi Gong teacher, is 14 months younger than me and is a constant source of inspiration (read more about some of Kert’s adventures).

He’s currently studying a special form of Qi Gong from a Taoist Priest in the Wudang Mountains of China (see photos of the mountains on this blog I stumbled across).

He plans to be there for six months. He left knowing no one and not having any idea what to expect (the schedule is intense, he’s up at 5:00 a.m. each day to begin his practice with other men and women from around the globe). His gut told him to take this leap and he listened.

He’s always been comfortable taking risks, much like me.

I think we got this risk-taking streak from our maternal grandmother, who died at the age of 94 (she would have been 100 on Sept. 1st). We were very close to her.

Born in 1910, our “Nonnie” grew up on the oldest dairy farm in Texas.

She got an undergraduate degree in education, received a graduate degree in her twenties, traveled with her girlfriends to Europe while she was single, asked for a divorce and became a single mother in her early thirties, bought land and opened/managed a soda shop (and was proudly the first in the state to serve “soft serve ice cream”) while teaching school, actively invested and was infamous for the amazing trips she took me and my six siblings on in the 70’s and 80’s. One of my favorite photos is of 69 year-old Nonnie and me riding camels next to the Pyramids of Giza (yes in Egypt!).

I have been reflecting lately on the gifts that I have received from my female ancestors—especially my grandmothers.

I believe that when I honor these gifts—such as risk taking from Nonnie—I call them forth, strengthen them and breathe life into them.

And I believe that risk taking really asks that we be visible (when I cashed out my 401K in 2007 to open a small publishing company, there was nowhere to hide!). And showing up and being seen is no small feat for many.

The older I get, the more comfortable I get taking all kinds of risks. I find that when I step out of my comfort zone, jump off a cliff or tread down an unknown path because I felt “guided” to do so-- I feel alive.

And as I think of Kert eating congee every morning for breakfast in China while I eat my homemade soy yogurt parfait, I smile at the photo of Nonnie next to my bathroom sink and wonder what she’d have to say about all of this!

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like to learn more about the power of self-care and receive support for taking risks in life? Start or join a Personal Renewal Group, visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE September 9th Live Inside Out teleclass on Strategies for Balanced Living.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and read how people are living more intentionally.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My sister recently gave me these beautiful red wrap sandals from Spain. I love them because they remind me to take risks and to show up big and be seen!

The Void

One of my dearest friends in in the void.

She is gestating “what’s next” in her life, but to her, it just feels like she’s stuck. And restless. And bored. And dissatisfied with everything-- work/relationship/home. And she might even be a little depressed.

Can you relate?

As a society, Americans in particular are not fond of being clueluess, without direction, not having the answers or being lost (even if it’s just in the grocery store parking lot). Read more on Living In the Unknown from my recent newsletter.

As I watch her—along with thousands of our clients, PRG Facilitators and members, friends and colleagues and probably many of the women that will be at my retreat at Kripalu—I find myself wishing things could be different.

Wouldn’t it be great if we had all evolved to a place where when one of our brothers or sisters was in the void and having a hard time seeing the big picture—that their “unknowing and dissatisfaction” are a beautiful, essential piece to their journey—we would all give them a big hug, say bravo, well-done, hang in there, you’re exactly where you should be on your path?

Or at the very least, we would stop what we’re doing to be with them, listen whole-heartedly to what they’re experiencing and reflect back to them who they really are? So that they don’t feel quite so lost and alone. And in hopes that they might even begin to relax, trust and allow themselves to believe that what is being born from the void is so beautiful and magnificent, it might just take their breath away.

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like to learn more about the power of self-care and how being kinder to yourself can change your life? Our Kripalu retreat sold out last week, but keep checking The Crossings web site and visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including my Aug. 27th Career Strategy Workshop: Find a Fit, Create a Plan, Love Your Workshop and our FREE September 9th Live Inside Out teleclass on Strategies for Balanced Living.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

SPACE IMAGE: A beautiful new image of two colliding galaxies has been released by NASA's Great Observatories. The Antennae galaxies, located about 62 million light-years from Earth, are shown in this composite image. The Antennae galaxies take their name from the long antenna-like "arms," seen in wide-angle views of the system. These features were produced by tidal forces generated in the collision. They were born from the void. Read more.

The Great Wide Open

I facilitated a Career Strategy Workshop this past Saturday morning for a wonderful group of men and women in their late thirties to late fifties at various life stages.

I continue to offer this workshop (I’ve been doing it since 2005) because we all have such remarkable shifts in groups.

Often others articulate or explain feelings we’ve been experiencing for a long time, but have been unable to verbalize. And invariably, the feelings of self-defeat, isolation, frustration or overwhelm, slowly start to dissipate and somewhere, a light bulb goes off!

I love to witness these moments—they help me remember what we’re all capable of birthing.

A predominant theme from the workshop—and something we’ve been hearing from many of our clients lately, is, “I have no idea what’s next. For the first time in my life I’m not sure what the next chapter of my career/life is going to look like. It’s like I’m standing on one precipice with my right foot outstretched towards an opposing cliff but there’s a lot of space down below. And anything could happen!”

I call this the great wide open (one way to look this phase of life). Read a short story from one of my mentors Richard Carlson, author of “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,” on this theme.

We live in a society where it’s not cool to not have a plan.

“What’s next for you?” you’re asked. You better answer like you know what you’re doing or be prepared to be met with an uncomfortable silence.

Americans like to be busy, directive, highly productive, moving up, moving on or moving out. We don’t value pausing, stillness and honoring transitions--the space in between one stage of life and the next. And we certainly don’t congratulate our friends and pat them on the back when they appear to have no clue what to do next?!

But, I think we’re missing the boat here.

Some of the most powerful things I’ve ever experienced or have been inspired to do, came from the void. From the not knowing … the wide open.

What if rather than run to the next thing we think we *should* do, we allow the next thing to come to us? To reveal itself to us. What if a primary part of our job when we’re hanging out in the unknown, is to wait, to listen, to do the inner work to prepare ourselves to receive what is coming our way?

I suggested to my workshop attendees who are currently in this life stage to smile when asked what their “plan” is and to simply respond, “It’s on its way.”

JOIN US FOR A RETREAT: In career/life transition? Would you like support while hanging out in the "great wide open"? Join us April 23-25 Refresh, Reclaim, Re-Balance: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings Spa & Resort in Austin, TX, but sign up today to ensure your spot. Or, escape to the cool mountains in August and join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat in the MA Berkshires, Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet!

Also, sign up here for our FREE Live Inside Out teleclass from 7:30-8:30 p.m. CST on Unleashing Your Creativity. And receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

FREE DOWNLOAD of Courageous Parents, Confident Kids: Letting Go So You Both Can Grow--an exciting new anthology including a special section from Renee on the power of self-care. SIGN UP TODAY to get your free copy on April 19th!

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Man looking over the Cliffs of Moher, Ireland. Wonder what he's thinking?

The Unknown

I recently returned from a week-long Shakti Sadhana Women’s Yoga Retreat (dancing with amazing powerful women like Shiva Rea and Wah) at Kripalu, a beautiful retreat center in the Berkshires in upstate MA.

The experience was transformative (you know those kind of rare immersions when you feel like your DNA has literally been altered—energetically if not physically?). More on my experience later—right now I still want to keep this experience cozy and totally mine.

Among other things, this week-long adventure helped me to see where I’m headed and why my old friend fear has been tapping on my door lately: I’m moving into the vast unknown. Unchartered waters. Taking the big leap. Rock climbing without a harness. (Remember the old cartoons of Wile E. Coyote stretched between two cliffs with one foot on each side—that’s me right now!)

I often ask my coaching clients what is it that you know you must do ....even if it doesn’t make financial or business sense?

Most of us have had times in our life—whether is was professionally or personally driven—where we were compelled to act or follow a path. Writing a book, buying a fixer-upper, taking a trip to India, standing up in a crowded room to speak out when our knees were knocking, spontaneously putting in our notice at work, reaching out to hold someone's hand on a second date or jumping into frigid spring waters—all fall into this category.

That’s pretty much where I am right now.

I am making some radical, bold business decisions that are quite risky, yet I know I have no choice but to follow the path that quite clearly has my name etched on it’s sandy floor.

And my job? To trust that even though it may feel like I’m free falling, I’m always surrounded by support—I believe, from this world and the next.

So, big breath, here we go!

P.S. Are you on hanging out in the"unknown" right now, too? I encourage you to reach out and get support. A few resources I can offer are my July 23rd, popular Austin-based Finding Your Career Mojo Workshop, joining one of our women's self-renewal circles or attending our October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings.

Also, check out Live Inside Out and learn how you can live more intentionally (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. Monk's Pond, The Berkshires, Lenox, MA.