I Choose Love

Twelve years ago, right before I got married, I vividly remember living in an apartment in central Austin with my husband-to-be and reading Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.

The book’s messages changed my life. The core theme that I think about everyday is there are only ever two choices in life: love or fear.

Everything we do is either motivated by love--which allows us to trust in the flow of life and expect good to come to us--or fear, which causes us to doubt, constrict and cut ourselves off from others. (Think about it—all expansive feelings are born from love and the scared or worried feelings can always be traced back to fear.)

I choose love.

I want to relax into the flow of life. I want to be open and receptive to those I come in contact with. I want to trust that “the Universe is conspiring in my favor,” and that the days and months ahead will be filled with many good things to come. I want to always feel like there is more than enough for everyone in every situation. I want to always remember that the more I love myself, the more I am able to love and have compassion for those around me. I want to have a soft and open heart.

Don’t you?

I attended a women's appreciation dinner tonight and each of us shared a favorite love poem. I explored bringing a favorite passage from Mary Oliver, Hafiz, Rumi, David Whyte and others, but I kept getting pulled back to the following famous passage from Marianne Williamson (below).

My dad gave this poem to me right before he died suddenly from a heart attack in 1996. I think his final words of wisdom were quite appropos and as I continue to expand into more self-love and self-acceptance daily, I hope I am able to inspire others to do the same. Happy Valentines Day--let your light shine.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most
frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is
nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure about you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same. As we are
liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.

Marianne Williamson

Photo: This 11x17 reminder is taped squarely on the front of our refrigerator. It helps me remember in some of my hardest moments--often parenting--that I choose love.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
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The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Inspiration

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. -- Twyla Tharp

I finished my writing sabbatical on Friday and felt some sadness.

I could have kept going. Maybe I’ll take another break this fall. I’m definitely feeling ripe around some themes that are brewing, emerging and calling to me right now.

It’s been interesting to keep expanding the boundaries of the themes I speak a lot about—self-renewal and life balance—and taking these teachings into other realms. Like peeling away the layers of an onion.

During the last week of my sabbatical, my husband and I attended a benefit concert for the Midwives Alliance of North America. Iron and Wine (and Calexico) played. I had just been introduced to Sam Beam (singer for Iron and Wine) through Austin City Limits and was really blown away by his songwriting and artistic ability. His poetic music really moved me (I love the Trapeze Singer).

During that same week I finished Crossing to Avalon (a chronicle of a woman’s spiritual pilgrimage) by one of my mentors, Jean Shinoda Bolen. I was transported to Glastonbury and the Chartres Cathedral felt like I was walking besides Jean as she rounded labyrinths, crossed seas and explored these ethereal sacred sites.

And yesterday I spent the day relaxing in the cool waters of the Guadalupe under the tall rock wall at Guadalupe State Park with some friends. The natural beauty of the river, thousands of different colored and shaped rocks and hundred year old trees lining the banks were so delicious, I almost felt stuffed--as if I’d eaten too much.

Since I unplugged last month, I’m much more attuned to sounds, colors, smells and aesthetics. Last week, I couldn’t get enough art, music, books and found myself experiencing sights and sounds like I never had before.

For me, a central component of emotional well-being or balanced living is living an inspired life.

I think we all have moments where we feel like we’re in a black and white movie and our actions seem rote, but when we take the time and energy to breathe color, vibrancy, poetry and passion into our lives, we feel inspired. And often, we remember who we really are.

And for me, that’s what it’s all about.

P.S. August is a great month to take a retreat. I just shared some tips in my latest life balance newsletter on how to create a “pause” in your life. Check it out if this speaks to you.

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like to learn more about the power of self-care and how being kinder to yourself can change your life? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA, August 13-15 at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including my Aug. 27th Career Strategy Workshop: Find a Fit, Create a Plan, Love Your Workshop and our FREE September 9th Live Inside Out teleclass on Strategies for Balanced Living.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: While on the banks of the Guadalupe River, this stunning bird (I later found out it's called a painted bunting) visited us while we lounged in the shade. We couldn't take our eyes off of her.

What's Your Speed Limit This Summer?

Thanks for all the great dialogue from my last post on Relationships.

I really enjoyed your insights and comments on relationships on our Live Inside Out community. If you'd like some great relationship tips, sign up to get my monthly Life Balance newsletter for some ideas on how Personal Renewal Group members worldwide stay connected to their partners and mark your calendar to join us on June 17th for a free couples teleclass on this topic (details at the end of this post).

As I head into my son's last week of school, make sure all my summer camp registrations are in, wrap up with our college interns who are graduating, work with my team on our staff summer vacation schedule, map out my interview/media/event deadlines, take care of end-of-school-year stuff, schedule key business meetings in June, plan for my July writing sabbatical and reflect on my professional/personal goals for the summer, I'm very clear I want this summer to be slow. I'd say speed limit-wise-- around 35 mph.

I'm sure this speed will fluctuate from time to time, I'll get written up for a few warnings and undoubtedly a few speed bumps will put me in my place, but overall, I want 35 mph to be my average cruise control setting through the month of July.

There are many things I want to accomplish on the business-front and home-front, but I can feel my body begging for me to slooowwww way down. And as my wise 8 year-old son says, "Slower is better, mom."

Check out my post on Summer of .... if you're in the same boat and really thinking about what kind of summer you want to experience over the next 10 weeks or so (in Texas, summer comes early!).

I'm sure everyone's speed will vary depending on their career/life stage and needs (the summer I wrote my first book, I was cruising at a steady 55 all summer long), but regardless, it's fun to think what speed limit you'd like to adopt this summer.

And if you like, share your maximum mph on our Live Inside Out community. Maybe we can all support each other in avoiding getting pulled over too often.

Also, I encourage you to check out my friend Beth's peaceful family tips from her beautiful new book "A Moment’s Peace: A Mom’s Guide to Creating Calm Amidst Chaos."

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like support for getting in touch with your needs and reconnecting with who you are? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE June 17th Live Inside Out teleclass for couples on Staying Connected to Your Partner and our June 11th The Empowered Entrepreneur workshop.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Sacramento, CA

Creative Expression=Balanced Living?

I attended a creativity party this past weekend at my good friend author/writing coach Carolyn Scarborough’s home.

She asked her friends to bring something to the party that illustrated how they "get their creative game on.”

Guests sang, tap danced, recited poetry, read from published or yet to be published books, shared paintings, textiles, mosaics, photography, journals, played instruments, talked about new businesses that were being birthed and cheered each other on for their bravery and willingness to express whatever it is that lights their fire.

I loved this opportunity to think about what creative endeavors fuel me. I’m a big believer that it’s not about being great, it’s about picking up, continuing or starting creative pursuits simply for the joy of it (read more on this from The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal, chapter seven: Unleashing Your Creativity).

I remember when I signed up for an acting class—just for fun and because it sent terror down my spine--shortly after my thirtieth birthday. It was one of the times in my life that I felt most alive—yes,most scared—but most alive!

I was raised by an artist/musician/philosopher mother who believed creative expression was like oxygen—it was essential to being human. (Interestingly a debate broke out in my son’s second grade classroom recently about what humans need to survive; apparently a line was drawn between those who believed art was essential to our sustainability and those who believed it was not!)

I know when my plate is full (we have seven events in the next 60 days, many of them national) and I’m struggling to keep a sense of equilibrium and sanity in my life, thinking about creative expression may not be at the top of my list. But maybe it should be?

I find that when I live more in the right hemisphere of my brain and give myself breathing room to “create” from nothing, I feel more alive, more connected to others and more in touch with the mystery, magic and bigness of life. And, I feel more balanced. Not a bad place to hang out.

I love the following quote from well-known artist/dancer Martha Graham. My entrepreneur brother sent it to me when I was two months into launching my first business ten years ago and singing the “start-up blues.” It really resonated with me:

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others"'

AN INVITATION: Interested in exploring and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events--including March 26th and April 23-25 spring renewal retreats--here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to register for our Feb. 25th FREE teleclass from 7:30-8:30 p.m. CST on Good is Good Enough: Releasing Perfection. And sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: A natural elements creation I photographed while vacationing with my family on the Olympic Peninsula, WA.

Your Stillpoint

Last week, over the course of several days, we received a handful of emails and phone calls from entrepreneur clients and colleagues sharing the news that their start-up businesses were not where they needed to be financially at year-end and they would be seeking employment in 2010 to supplement their income until their small businesses grew legs.

While none of them were overjoyed about this decision, most had come to this place not from fear, but from the realization that this was what was necessary right now. They were accepting—rather than fighting—“what is,” (Byron Katie believes that the root of all suffering is caused by arguing with reality): too many expenses, not enough income.

As all my entrepreneur clients know, I’m also a big believer in focusing on what is possible—thinking big, expansively and opening yourself up to success and opportunities beyond your wildest dreams.

Sounds like two opposite ends of the spectrum, huh?

For over a week now, I’ve been playing with the concept of living in polarity.

Can you hold a big space for expansiveness/possibility/unbelievable abundance for your life, career or business AND be with “what is”—which for some may currently include incredible financial stress, mounting bills, navigating the unknown and dancing with your shadow?

Is it possible to really be with both of these experiences at the same time? Where is the “still point” for you—that quiet space in between the two extremes? And how do you get there?

Many believe the ability to hold both—to hang out in the stillpoint—is the key to accessing the wisdom and solutions we desire. You’ve heard the Einstein quote “problems are not solved on the level at which they are created?”

I’m going to keep playing with the concept of polarity this month and exploring this in all areas of my life-- relationships, money, parenting, health, my businesses—in all the places where dual realities exist.

Who knows, maybe I’ll find the stillpoint and access answers that just might blow my mind. Willing to play along with me?

AN INVITATION: Interested in slowing down, receiving ongoing emotional support and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to listen to past Live Inside Out teleclasses or to sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: a painting I created during an Intuitive Arts Painting Class with www.FireTreeStudios.com.

We're All Connected

“We have flown the air like birds and swum the sea like fishes, but have yet to learn the simple act of walking the earth like brothers.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Growing up with my six siblings, the phrase we often heard from my mom as we navigated various life circumstances, was “How do you think that makes him (or her) feel?”

Whether it was extending kindness to the harried checker at the grocery store, stopping to share a friendly word with the overworked postman or offering food to the immigrant family of eleven we met through my father’s work—my parents were always challenging us to feel what it’s like to be in another person’s shoes, and ultimately to feel how connected we all are.

Last Saturday, I attended defensive driving for a speeding ticket. While sitting in a room with men and women of all ages from all walks of life, I challenged myself to find our sameness. I’m sure we shared many things, but in the moment, our strongest bond was that we all wanted to be somewhere else rather than sitting in this classroom on a Saturday (but we made the best of it!).

This past week my son and I volunteered at a local shelter preparing and serving a delicious meal to hundreds of homeless people. When we left at the end of our shift and walked through the long line of people still waiting for food, my son and I talked about what we all have in common: enjoyment and nourishment through lovingly prepared food.

On Thanksgiving morning, my husband son and I headed down to the Barton Creek Greenbelt and hiked along the banks of the rushing waters through the quiet green paths—nodding hello to the occasional fellow hiker and feeling our kinship through our obvious appreciation for nature.

And during this past holiday, as we gathered with my extended family for our holiday meal—acknowledging our various food and lifestyle preferences—it was clear what we all desired: meaningful connection with one another.

Having coached thousands of men and women from all life stages and socioeconomic backgrounds-- including the JC Penney salesman who made $8/hour and the 300K/year software executive—I have witnessed people’s collective and deepest longing: to be heard, to know they matter, to make a difference and to feel recognized for their contributions. (I've also seen this in our hundreds of Personal Renewal Groups.)

I know in every fiber of my being that we’re much more connected than any of us realize.

Have you heard the analogy that we’re all droplets in the ocean--we just don’t remember that collectively we are the ocean?

I’m going to keep challenging myself on a regular basis to seek out our sameness, our connectedness—even in the most bizarre, uncomfortable or unlikely circumstances.

And, I’m going to do my best to remember that even though our surfboards might look a little different, we’re all cresting and falling in the same sea.

AN INVITATION: Interested in experiencing meaningful connection with others and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. Our introductory offer for PRG Facilitator Training ends Dec. 1. And, view all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to listen to our Nov. 17th Live Inside Out class on Building a Support System or sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Video: Renee Peterson Trudeau. The Gulf of Mexico, spring 2009.

Honoring Your Rhythms

This was an incredibly full weekend (I helped promote and led a workshop for a wonderful girls empowerment conference, supported artist friends at a community event, attended our annual school fund raiser and had the honor of hosting a 50th birthday Blessingway for a good friend).

I am pooped.

I feel like crawling back into bed with a big steaming mug of hot team, curling up with a good book and staying in sweats all day. Maybe I will. At the least, I’m certainly not going to have a typical Monday—usually my busiest work day.

I’ve learned over the years how important it is for me to listen to my body and spirit’s internal rhythms. Many days I have boundless energy and can get eight hours worth of work done in two. Other days, I feel like I'm moving through molasses and have to attune to what is essential, what must be done and then let everything else wait while I shift down into first gear.

I trust my body's rhythms and cycles. I’ve learned that pushing always backfires. Listening to and working in harmony with my body and spirit always proves fruitful.

It’s taken me a long time to allow myself to respond to my needs. But now that I do, there is no other way to live.

P.S. FREE SUPPORT RESOURCES: Who is holding a big space for what’s possible for you in 2010? Read more. And, if you’d like to receive my life balance newsletter tomorrow on Your Money or Your Life sign up here. Hope you can join us Tuesday evening (11/17) for our next Live Inside Out class via telephone on Building Your Support System--register here.

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can connect to your rhythms and tap into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. An apricot tree in the Davis Mountains (TX).

Putting Things In Perspective

We just returned from a quick weekend trip to the Davis Mountains in West Texas with some good friends.

Why drive 6.5 hours to this mile-high city out in the middle of nowhere?

My family and I go to envelop ourselves in one of the darkest night skies in the United States. From here you can see the Milky Way with the naked eye and other amazing celestial bodies.

And for me, the experience of looking up and out into this amazing vastness, reminds me of how small and inconsequential any worries I might have, are. How life truly is a mystery, not a thing to be managed. How connected we all are. And, how important is to let the healing power of nature wash over us, heal us and put things in perspective.

It’s not a luxury to get away and immerse yourself in a natural setting. It’s like oxygen. It’s essential to your well-being. And, it’s one of the greatest gifts we have available to us.

Schedule time NOW for a get-away. It doesn’t have to be a long trip or expensive. But choose somewhere that is healing to you, that helps you put things in perspective and remember what really matters.

In our galaxy the sun is one of a hundred billion stars. Now how important is it to make sure your lawn is edged and car gets washed?

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can get clear on what matters most and tap into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, join us Nov. 17th for our FREE Live Inside Out class via telephone on Building Your Support System. Sign up here! And, view all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. The Davis Mountains from the trail at the base of Sleeping Lion Moutain.

What Would Your Wise Self Say?

I am the oldest of seven children and at the ripe old age of 44, the matriarch of our family. (My parents died suddenly in their fifties, all our grandparents have passed and we have no living aunts or uncles.)

Out of the six of us who are living, only two of us are married and I’m the only one who has had a child.

Next year several of my siblings will be marking major life transitions and as I observe how they navigate their journeys and move closer to emotional health and well-being, it makes me pause and reflect on what I needed—or wished I could have heard—when I was their age.

If I was sitting across from her now, here is what I would say to my sweet thirty-year old self:

Dearest Renee:

• Your work is to remember who you *really* are. Who you are is not defined by your family history or the pains or tragedies you experienced growing up.
• Your parents loved in the best way they could. Moving into compassion for them can bring you to a place of liberation.
• The ability to feel grateful is one of the biggest gifts we have been given. Every morning, take a few minutes to express your gratitude for the simple things in your life.
• The simpler your life is, the happier you are. Your sense of joy and satisfaction are not reliant on what you have or your physical surroundings. Ever.
• Your job is to keep opening and softening your heart: to people, to new experiences and to the healing power of nature and movement (yoga, dance, hiking).
• Moment to moment, there are only two choices: love or fear. Which will you choose? Every interaction is motivated by one of these states of being.
• What is it that you *must* do? After you know this, give your heart wholly and completely to this and “feel the fear but do it anyway.”
• Know your portals for healing: music? Movement? Nature? Dance? Writing? Travel? Drawing? Determine what feeds you and keep doing these things. Every day.
• Self-knowledge and self-acceptance are the doors to freedom and peace. Don’t be afraid to become very acquainted with your fears, dreams, personality, self-limiting beliefs, strengths, shadow and brilliance. Love ALL of who you are.
• Your ordinary self is enough—you don’t need to do or be for anyone.
• Reach out and ask for help. There is never any reason to go it alone. We were designed to be inter-dependent. Cultivating this ability is key to your emotional health.
• Go within for the answers. Don’t be afraid of becoming very still. You already have ALL the answers within you. You just have to get quiet enough to hear them.
• Release “should’s” and become comfortable saying “no” with grace and ease. And, watch the Universe respond with delight in delivering to you what you *really* want, not what the media or society dictates you *should* want!
• Listen to your body. An uneasy stomach, tight shoulders or a clenched chest is your body talking to you. Listen to and respond to this amazing internal GPS system.
• Allow yourself to be vulnerable and let people see your fragility as well as your strength. Sharing this side of yourself is transformative and freeing.
• Service to others is your path of practice. But doing this in a way that feeds you rather than drains you, is your life’s work.

With deepest love and compassion—your wise self

If you wrote a letter to your thirty-something (or twenty something) year old self, from your wise self, what would it say?

A big part of my journey to balance and peace has been learning to cultivate a deep sense of compassion for self and knowing I’m doing the best I can, wherever I am on my journey. (And in my thirties, this journey definitely felt like a rollercoaster ride!)

Blessings to my amazing siblings as they continue on their path to self-acceptance and begin the next phase of their lives. I hope they occasionally get quiet enough to hear the whispers of my parent’s wisdom in their hearts, whenever they feel alone or unsure about what’s next.

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can cultivate more self-acceptance and tap into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, join us Nov. 17th for our FREE Live Inside Out class via telephone. Sign up here! And, view all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. St. Francis of Assisi in a garden in Boston's North End, the city's oldest residential community, where people have lived continuously since it was settled in the 1630s. St. Francis was one of my father's favorite spiritual teachers.

Are You “In Integrity” with Yourself?

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. Henry David Thoreau

Recently I attended a wellness conference with women from around the U.S. On our lunch break, I joined a group of women sitting outside on the grass. Most of the women were in their thirties and forties and married with kids.

When I joined the group, they were in the midst of discussing marital infidelity. A couple of the women shared they had recently had ongoing intimate online exchanges with ex-boyfriends and the “cyber dating” was heating up. The group was going back and forth on whether or not this was “cheating.” I sat and observed the discussion and reflected silently on this topic.

Suddenly, one of the women asked me what I thought. I paused for a long time. Finally, I shared that when I’m grappling with a question like this, I do an “inner check-in” and ask myself if I feel the action is “in integrity” with who I am? And 100% of the time, I get the answer right away.

The group got very quiet. Some nodded knowingly, as answers surfaced for them, as well.

Often if the issue I’m examining is really big and I want to make sure that my actions are in alignment, I’ll ask the following three questions:

What is my motivation for this action (truly)?
Am I acting from a place of fear or love?
Is this action reflective of my highest self?

I think for most of us “being in integrity with self” is often an hour to hour or day to day challenge. Or sometimes, we're so "asleep," we're not even aware we're out of alignment.

I’ve bumped up against a lot of people lately who are making choices based on fear. And, it’s challenged me to access my deepest compassion and to give others the benefit of the doubt. Because, ultimately, I believe we all want to be in balance, in alignment and “in integrity” with the highest and best in each of us.

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can reconnect with your highest self and tap into the power of self-care? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circlesor joining us Oct.29 for our FREE Live Inside Out class via telephone. Sign up here. View all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. Henry David Thoreau's headstone, Sleep Hollow Cemetery, Concord MA.

Are You Connected to Your Needs?

This morning as I drove my seven-year old son to school, I mused out loud “Should I go to Yoga or Nia this morning?” I love both, but was juggling a really full day with a lot of deadlines, so I was pondering which might support a more flowing schedule.

While we waited in line at school to reach the drop off point, out of the blue, my son asked me, “Well mom, how do you feel after you go to Yoga?” “Hmmm, wise and calm,” I replied. “And how do you feel after you go to Nia?” he asked. “Alive and happy,” I said, enjoying this conversation and how engaged my child was in helping me. “So,” he continued, “what kind of day do you want to have—wise and calm or happy and alive?” “Oh, wise and calm!” I said after reflecting on what I most needed today. “Yes, it’s definitely a wise and calm day.”

I’m working with a wonderful speaker/teacher/advocate for mothers on a new publishing project on the topic of Courageous Parenting. The project visionary, Amy Tiemann, is author of Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family. She believes, as I do, that one of the most powerful gifts we can give our children is the understanding of how essential it is to be connected to and nurture our needs, so that we can full present in our relationships.

I think my son got the memo.

Looking forward to sharing more about Amy’s Courageous Parenting anthology/project, stories from my fellow contributors and how it aligns with our Live Inside Out initiative.

P.S. Speaking of aligning with your needs, if you’re in career transition and hanging out in the gap between where you’ve been and where you want to go next, check out today’s story in the Austin American Statesman on tips for making a career change over your lunch hour. And, join us Oct. 22nd in Austin at Finding Your Career Mojo for support, encouragement and ongoing resources for finding work that is a fit for you inside and out.

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can learn to connect to your needs and tap into the power of self-care? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circlesor joining us Oct.29 for our FREE Live Inside Out class via telephone. Sign up here. View all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. My son looks out into the Puget Sound hoping to see a whale as we travel on the ferry from Port Angeles to Seattle, WA.

Radical Self-Care

Are you willing to p*** people off in order to take care of yourself?

I just returned from our amazing Fall Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings with twenty wonderful women from around the U.S. (Look for more to come on our April 2010 retreat.) During one session, we explored what our “barriers to self-care” are: what keeps us from taking care of ourselves.

Many women shared that they were afraid of what others might think, they might ignite anger or irritation for taking a stand for their needs or they were afraid they might rock the boat by saying “no” to a request from someone else, so they could say “yes” to their physical/emotional/spiritual well-being.

Can you relate? I sure can.

Usually every Fall and Spring—our busiest times—I become extremely mindful of my time, energy and resources. And invariably, I have to end up saying no more often than yes, to things that truly feed me: new coaching clients (they can work with our amazing senior career coaches Angela and Sarina), opportunities for collaboration/projects with colleagues, starting new partnerships and friends/school social gatherings. Occasionally, I even change my mind and give myself permission to back out of previous commitments.

This used to be really hard for me. I love to help and serve others and have many gifts and talents which allow me to do so on a large scale—whether it’s supporting others to discover their life’s work, experience more balance, grow/expand their business, promote their amazing events/initiatives or remember who they really are.

But just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.

I am not willing to over-work, over-schedule, over-commit or over-extend in order to please others. And, when you commit to this path—which is often lonely—you will invariably p*** off some people along the way.

I took the hard road for the first thirty-something years of my life, but have finally learned that the person that I need to honor, nurture, respect and love above all--is me. And when I am kind, accepting and gentle towards her, everything else flows ...it's all good.

"Self-care is not about self-indulgence. It's about self-preservation." Audre Lorde

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can learn to take a stand for your needs and tap into the power of self-care? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circlesor joining us Oct.29 for our FREE Live Inside Out class via telephone. Sign up here. View all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. Olympic National Forest, WA.

Support

This past week I attended an Ashtanga yoga class with a new teacher (yep, that’s the sweaty, rhythmic style of yoga).

I loved his approach. He was supportive and really encouraged students to ask questions and reach out for help. And, he gave you the sense that he believed in your ability.

He obviously inspired me as I moved gracefully—with his coaching-- into a headstand, something I haven’t done easily in years for fear of falling and injuring my neck.

It got me thinking about how much my life changed almost ten years ago, when I finally began to reach out and allow others to help me. The shift was so powerful, it was almost like moving from one planet to another (the planet where interdependence is a natural part of life and you don’t have to have all the answers!).

Extensive research has been done which shares the amazing health/emotional/intellectual benefits that come from having a robust support network. (Read more from my newsletter on this.)

One of the primary motivations for putting so much time/energy/resources into our global Personal Renewal Group (PRG) program for women (hundreds of facilitators are leading groups around the world based on The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal), is because I believe so strongly in the power of groups. Hear comments from PRG members about why groups are such catalysts for change.

For more than five years I have had the privilege of creating opportunities for women to have huge personal and professional shifts as they come together and allow themselves to receive support, relax into a “soft place to fall,” enjoy the company of others who are at similar life stages and are surrounded by a supportive circle of women who hold the highest and best for them.

Is it easy for you to ask for and receive help? I’d love to hear your experience. And, let me know if I can recommend a women’s group or retreat to you. We have a few spots left in our Oct. 2-4 Self- Renewal Retreat at The Crossings. Maybe a headstand awaits you?

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can learn to leverage the benefits of a support system and tap into the power of self-care? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circlesor attending our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. Sunflower field in western New Mexico.

What's Your Mantra?

A couple of week ago I was coaching two entrepreneurs in my office, one after the other, around issues related to owning their power, growing their business and experiencing more balance in their lives. (I do very little one-on-one coaching now since I have a fabulous team in place to serve our clients and I am traveling a lot more for speaking/workshops. So, it feels like a rare privilege when I do get this opportunity.)

One client, a 42-year old leadership consultant, believed that “If I just work really hard and prove my worth, everything will be ok.” The other, a highly successful 38-year old writer, operated from the place that “Life is hard and sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll get a break.”

We all have a mind-set or “mantra” (a commonly repeated word or phrase) about life that we recycle over and over in our heads, whether we’re conscious of this or not.

What I find fascinating right now—in these very interesting, potentially stressful times—is that our mantras about life are having a huge impact on our perspective around the economic downturn.

I have many mantras—we all do—but one that continually pops to the surface time and time again is “Everything always works out for the best.”

Even though many of my clients and friends—and my businesses as well—are experiencing repercussions from the recession, in the long run, I think this time will be seen as a gift. A wonderful opportunity to pause, get clear on what’s really important and possibly, make some hard life choices and course-corrections.

Mantra in Sanskrit—the language of classical Hinduism--means a sacred utterance.

When I think about how much our internal language impacts our outward experience, I don’t know about you, but it makes me want to make sure my mantra is supporting--not dis-empowering me.

And, it inspires me to want to dig a little bit and ask my close friends and family what sacred utterance permeates their thoughts and world view.

I’d love to hear your life mantra, or your perspective on the current economic scenario. If you’re willing, share it here our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

P.S. I’d love to connect! If you’re free tonight from 7-8 p.m. CST, join us for our Free Personal Renewal Group class via telephone on Reconnecting with Who You Are. For women at all life stages; details below.

AN INVITATION: Interested in learning how you can experience more loving kindness towards yourself and tap into the power of self-care? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circles, signing up for our FREE September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are or attending our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. St. Frances of Assisi Church, Ranchos de Taos, built in 1815.

Loving Kindness

Every Monday morning, I send out a quick work/life effectiveness tip to our seven-person team. Most of us work virtually and we’re spread out across three states. So, I do many things to keep us all feeling connected.

These amazing women support our clients, Personal Renewal Group Facilitators, career/life balance programs and all Career Strategists and Renee Trudeau & Associates initiatives. They work daily with women and families around the world.

I had planned to share a powerful letter on my blog today that I wrote to my 35-year old self last night, but decided instead to share the message I sent to my team this morning and save the letter for next week. Here it is. I hope it might invite you to pause before you begin your day.

Dear RTA Team:

I woke up this a.m. with a funky stomach and slight headache (I think some roasted turkey that had been sitting out too long at a party was to blame) and began feeling some overwhelm creeping in as I looked at my list of goals for today.

I have a full week—prepping for our Reconnecting with Who You Are class via telephone on Thursday evening, several writing deadlines and projects due tomorrow, lots of conference calls/ meetings and several new entrepreneur clients to support this week.

But instead of succumbing to the feeling that I was behind and needed to push harder, I remembered the wonderful gifts that come from loving kindness--to self. So, I am moving slow this morning, drinking some wonderful Detox Yogi tea, tweaking my schedule a bit and trusting in the knowledge that when I am kind to my body/spirit, the Universe supports me. And, I get MORE done (rather than less!).

Try it (or at least, experiment with this idea). More on this theme from my newsletter Are You Kind to Yourself?

Take it easy and before you begin your day, check in with your body, mind and spirit. What do you need to feel nourished on the inside as well as the outside today?

Take good care. I look forward to exploring this theme more deeply with you at our upcoming October self-renewal retreat--Renee

AN INVITATION: Interested in learning how you can experience more loving kindness towards yourself and tap into the power of self-care? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circles, signing up for our FREE September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are or attending our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings (early bird rate ends September 16th).

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Painting: Mara Friedman

Find Your Center

When you're feeling unfocused and find yourself flitting from one thing to the next, what do you do to get grounded?

This is the question I have been asking a lot of clients, friends, organizations—and myself-- over the last month. We’re living in unusual times and unless you have the option of spending hours a day meditating alone in a monastery, you’ve probably experienced some of the collective chaos that is present in our world right now.

For me, one of the anchors that supports my ability to find my center and remember what’s really important is taking regular retreats.

Whether that’s one day each quarter to step back and get clear/focused on how I want to direct my energy or a 5-day spiritually intensive voyage to help me birth a new era in my life-- I am a huge believer in the power of retreating (read more on ideas for retreats).

Interestingly, I recently completed a beautiful vision map outlining how I intend to experience maximum ease and flow in my life this fall and at the top of the list was quarterly retreats and monthly mini-retreats (minimum of 8 hours) in my schedule.

There are other things I do that are essential to my experiencing equilibrium and well-being on a daily basis—meditation, movement, eating high energy foods, volunteering, time in nature, regular heartfelt connection with my family/friends—but I have found over the years that nothing pulls me out of myself, helps me remember who I really am or gives me inspiration, hope and clarity like taking a retreat.

If you’re in career or life transition or just craving a deeply soulful, nourishing and restorative retreat experience, I encourage you to consider joining me at my Oct. 2-4 Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings. (I’m so excited to be including special musical and movement segments with nationally known creative divas Sara Hickman and Dr. Deb Kern!). Or, if that’s not do-able, ask a friend who has a vacation property if you can rest and rejuvenate there for a day or two.

My primary focus at my retreats is not to just create an amazing weekend experience (which we do, read more), but to support the attendees in bringing self-care into their everyday life and experiencing how life-changing this gift can be.

It may seem like a luxury in our current times to take a break to invest in yourself, but my experience has been that when I slow down and learn to be more present, listen to my intuition and get back in touch with who I really am--the payoffs are huge.

AN INVITATION: Interested in learning how you can learn strategies and receive support for finding your center? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circles, signing up for our FREE September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are or attending our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings (early bird rate ends Aug. 31^st).

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau, north of Taos in north central New Mexico.

Choices

I often hear my coaching clients say they don’t have a choice. What they really mean is they’re not ready to make a hard choice—downsizing to a more affordable home, leaving a financially comfortable job, ending an unhealthy relationship, moving to another part of the country, taking a much needed sabbatical, changing their diet, living on a salary that is half of what they used to make, getting up early to exercise or meditate, etc. (Read my last post where I share about my struggle with this.)

It’s so easy to slip into the sleepy slumber where we think we’re at someone else’s mercy when it comes to how we set up our lives. But we’re not. We’re the masters (or at the least co-creators), not the slaves. And, our choices—big and small—impact our day to day experience of life.

I have many friends and colleagues around the nation who are making hard –and often uncomfortable choices--in order to support their larger life goals of more freedom, balance, simplicity, harmony, health, room for creative pursuits and time to be alone or with family.

The other night my husband I were sitting up late talking after our son went to bed. For us, like many, the year is unfolding differently than we had anticipated. Yet, our gratitude is growing for the choices we’ve made which support our values and allow us to:
*live in a home that is beautiful but modest and only needs one salary to cover the mortgage instead of two
*be five minutes from my new office which provides me more time to focus on the aspects of my business that really feed me
*live close to things that are integral to our quality of life: my yoga and dance studio, hiking trails, a farmer’s market, the Texas hill country, the Crossings
*be at our son’s school community in five minutes, which limits the time we all spend in the car each day
*spend more time together as a family playing music, dancing, being outdoors, talking (because the TV is off)
*enjoy relatively high energy levels, health and vibrancy due to the food we eat and things we do to feed our spirits and minds—not just our bodies
*live lives where we feel a deep sense of connection—to ourselves, our family members and our larger community

There is a story in the chapter on Managing Your Energy from The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal where my photography teacher challenged me in my twenties when I told him I was late to class because of my corporate job. “I had no choice,” I said. I really thought I didn’t. And now, I know I do.

AN INVITATION: Interested in reconnecting with who you are and getting support for the choices you need to make in your life? Check out our women's self-renewal circles, our FREE September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are, my upcoming The Empowered Entrepreneur Workshop on Aug. 28th in Austin, TX or our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and learn how you can live more intentionally (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau, a field in the Berkshires in upstate MA. My choice: to pause and spend time in natural environments that feeds my body, mind and soul.

The Unknown

I recently returned from a week-long Shakti Sadhana Women’s Yoga Retreat (dancing with amazing powerful women like Shiva Rea and Wah) at Kripalu, a beautiful retreat center in the Berkshires in upstate MA.

The experience was transformative (you know those kind of rare immersions when you feel like your DNA has literally been altered—energetically if not physically?). More on my experience later—right now I still want to keep this experience cozy and totally mine.

Among other things, this week-long adventure helped me to see where I’m headed and why my old friend fear has been tapping on my door lately: I’m moving into the vast unknown. Unchartered waters. Taking the big leap. Rock climbing without a harness. (Remember the old cartoons of Wile E. Coyote stretched between two cliffs with one foot on each side—that’s me right now!)

I often ask my coaching clients what is it that you know you must do ....even if it doesn’t make financial or business sense?

Most of us have had times in our life—whether is was professionally or personally driven—where we were compelled to act or follow a path. Writing a book, buying a fixer-upper, taking a trip to India, standing up in a crowded room to speak out when our knees were knocking, spontaneously putting in our notice at work, reaching out to hold someone's hand on a second date or jumping into frigid spring waters—all fall into this category.

That’s pretty much where I am right now.

I am making some radical, bold business decisions that are quite risky, yet I know I have no choice but to follow the path that quite clearly has my name etched on it’s sandy floor.

And my job? To trust that even though it may feel like I’m free falling, I’m always surrounded by support—I believe, from this world and the next.

So, big breath, here we go!

P.S. Are you on hanging out in the"unknown" right now, too? I encourage you to reach out and get support. A few resources I can offer are my July 23rd, popular Austin-based Finding Your Career Mojo Workshop, joining one of our women's self-renewal circles or attending our October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings.

Also, check out Live Inside Out and learn how you can live more intentionally (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. Monk's Pond, The Berkshires, Lenox, MA.

Play

One of my favorite songs when I was a kid was The Marvelous Toy by Peter, Paul and Mary (the album Peter, Paul and Mommy was constanly playing in our house when I was growing up in the early seventies).

I loved the feeling of wonder and joy it evoked. My brothers and I would act out this song over and over again, trying to guess what this magical toy might be.

Listening to this song Saturday night at home with my family after a yummy dinner of grilled shrimp tacos with mango/avocado salsa, inspired an evening of silliness, dancing, pillow fights and brought back a flood of memories of how often a sense of playfulness was present in my home growing up (my mom a musician/artist, loved to laugh).

Beginning this week and throughout the month of July I have created lots of time to play.

I still have to get some essential work stuff handled (I am self-employed and work with a team), but knowing that I’m at a pivotal point in my life/business, I knew it was essential to carve out a chunk of time this summer to spend time hanging out in the right hemisphere of my brain.

That’s when my best ideas come and when I get the most clarity about what I want.

Some of my colleagues, I’m sure, are thinking I’m crazy to be taking time out for creativity and play this month when I have just put together a new six-person work team, am in the middle of growing our global Personal Renewal Group program and beginning a handful of new big initiatives. But, I know that this time will be invaluable to not only where I’m headed this fall, but how I get there.

Play is essential to not only experiencing a sense of balance/equilibrium in life, but to feeling whole and alive. It’s part of who we are (read more from Psychology Today on the Power of Play).

Anyone round my base is it! Ready or not, here I come!
Allee Allee In Free! (from It’s Raining, Peter Paul and Mommy, 1969)

P.S. Interested in meeting once a month in a women's self-renewal circle to enhance your ability to be more playful and present? Join or become trained to lead a Personal Renewal Group for mothers. Life coaching groups are meeting from Amsterdam to Akron. Join the self-care revolution.



Want to learn how to live more intentionally? Check out Live Inside Out (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).


The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.


Photo: my seven-year old playing in the fountains in downtown Dallas near the Dallas Museum of Art.

Thank You Jonah

My husband and I are taking a seven-week parenting class right now.

Most of us weren’t “born” to know how to consciously parent and many of us didn’t have healthy models for how to be in relationship, so getting support on how to do the hardest and most important job in the world is well worth the resource and time investment, in my book.

Although we’ve taken some classes here and there, this one in particular, has been quite enlightening. And, for me, it’s brought up deep feelings of gratitude for the opportunity to be a mother to this sweet, wonderful soul and to be his pupil. (Even when he challenges me to my limit!).

I was inspired this week to write a thank-you letter to my Zen Master. Here it is:

Dear Jonah:

Thank you for choosing me as your mother.

I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to accompany you on your journey on planet earth this go around.

You remind me daily of all the good that exists in each of us, in the world, how interconnected we all are and what really matters.

You’re the most profound teacher I’ve ever had (where did you go to school again?!).

I’ve learned so much in the last seven years about patience, kindness, compassion, openness, trusting, starting over, softening, releasing, letting go, stretching, expanding and slowing down.

And I love to hear you remind me, “Mom, things are better when they’re slow.”

You’ve taught me volumes about forgiveness—towards those closest to me, my parents and especially my self. And about love—its limitlessness, its power and its ability to heal everything--always.

You stop me daily in my tracks with your wise words and insightful perspective and I love it when you quote Byron Katie and ask, “Mom, is this your business, his/her business or God’s business?”

Nature—oh beautiful, healing, serene, awesome nature. Our favorite playground and the environment where I feel most connected to who you are and our innate divinity. Thank you for inspiring me to return to nature time and time again to replenish my well.

I am looking forward to all the lessons you have in store for me in the coming years. And, I appreciate your faith in me as your mother and your willingness to love me, warts and all.

Thank you for being such a source of inspiration for me to give birth to the best that is within me.

With deep gratitude. Love, Renee


P.S. Interested in meeting once a month in a women's self-renewal circle to enhance your ability to be more present and parent more consciously? Join or become trained to lead a Personal Renewal Group for mothers. Life coaching groups are meeting from Amsterdam to Akron. Nothing has had a more profound impact on my parenting than being in a PRG.

Learn more about how to Live Inside Out (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.


Photo: My friend Susan Goodman took this picture of Jonah and I in 2003.