Overwhelm

I define life balance as having enough time, energy and resources for those things that are most important to me.

So is feeling overwhelmed—the suitor currently knocking on my door asking for a dance-- what happens when this is not the case?

I’m sure many of you can relate: I just returned home from a full five-day conference to pressing work deadlines, staff transitions to support, hundreds of emails and phone calls, a house that looks like a tornado just blew through it and a husband and child who desperately need to reconnect with me (forget the stack of unaddressed holiday cards waiting to be sent out, my son’s repeated requests to put up a Christmas tree TODAY or the extended family email chain heatedly discussing “how to celebrate Christmas” that awaits my reply).

I was coached in the mid-nineties by a presence coach on the relationship between thought and mood (ex: feeling anxious or upset—what thoughts preceded these emotions? ...feeling sad or depressed, what is your dominant internal “mantra?”).

I get that I create stress or overwhelm based on my thinking and perception of a situation. It doesn’t happen to me. And I also understand that it’s easy for all of us to tap into a greater “collective overwhelm,” particularly this time of year (read more on this in my December life balance newsletter). And, I also believe that we’re simply all trying to do too much.

But the holidays can be particularly challenging (I’m remembering now how much my mom disliked the holidays and how stressed out she used to get this time of year. Think there is a connection there? Nahhh.)

As I move through my day and week and become more aware of my thinking (and firmly but respectfully asking Monsieur Overwhelm to go knock on our neighbor’s door, my dance card is full), I remember one of the most important teachings I learned from my presence coach.

When I felt like I was swimming in a sea of stress, she would remind me to just breathe. Slow down. Listen to my body’s internal rhythm. And know that the peace I desire is right here, right now. In the present moment. It’s been there all along.

"Unease, anxiety, tension, overwhelm, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence" Eckhart Tolle, author, The Power of Now

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The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo courtesy of istockphoto.com.

Just for Fun?!

I grew up in an overachiever family.

And, as the oldest of seven kids, it was not easy to refuse the Kool-Aid.

As my husband, son and I were out bike riding around the beautiful lake in the center of our city Saturday morning, we stumbled across a national rowing competition out on the waters, adjacent to the hike and bike trail.

High school and college kids from around the US were clumped in camps up and down the lakeside, surrounded by their long skinny boats. And, they looked like they were having a blast.

It brought up memories for me of trying and then abandoning many sports and activities—ballet, tennis, violin, singing-- that I deemed I wasn’t superior at, so I figured “Why try? Stick to what you really excel at.” (One of my younger brothers played the violin for a quite a while. He started at age four. It seemed when the pressure to excel and become the next Itzhak Perlman kept increasing, he decided to drop it his freshman year in high school. I wonder at what point it stopped becoming fun for him?)

While very American, the problem with this “if you’re going to play, you need to be the best” philosophy is that you miss out on a lot of things that you might actually want to do just for fun. Just for the pure joy of the activity—regardless of your ability. (Check out the chapter from The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal on Good is Good Enough, for some support on releasing overachiever tendencies.)

As I watched the kids compete, I thought how much I want to impart this mindset to my son.

The idea that there are many cool things you’ll want to try in life that you might actually suck at, but that can bring you a lot of pure enjoyment, regardless of whether or not you “score.” (How many times do you hear parents tell their high school athletes, “Looks like you were really having fun out there on the football field! Touchdown, smuchdown, just enjoy this great weather and the opportunity to be with your teammates.)

I recently completed an 8-week Intuitive Painting class that challenged us to paint without a goal in mind. Paint what you feel, in the moment. Don’t try to be good, or make your painting look pretty. Just enjoy the diversity and vibrancy of the colors, the brushstrokes, how the images make you feel, how much fun it is do something with no desired outcome (!).

Fascinating. Truly liberating. (You can google intuitive painting to find classes in your area.)

PS If you’re a woman and interested in being in community with other women who want to try new things just for fun, are interested in experiencing more meaning and joy and who like to practice “good is good enough,” consider joining one of the hundreds of Personal Renewal Groups around the world. I’ll also be providing a “soft place to fall” at my upcoming Spring Self-Renewal Retreat April 24-26 at The Crossings. Check it out.