Imagine A World Where ......

A few days before Thanksgiving, I attended a yoga class. As I lay on my back relaxing before the teacher began, I could hear the light, easy, excited chatter in the room. You could feel the anticipation: a holiday break was coming!

Why were we all so happy? Because a holiday usually signals to the body, mind and spirit that you’re about to slow down, to unplug a bit, to spend more time connecting with family and to live at a more “normal pace”--rather than the 24/7 breakneck speed most Americans keep.

It got me thinking … what if we lived in a world where self-care (the concept of attuning and responding to your needs/desires) was an integral part of the fabric of our lives?

What if:
-Your boss approached you when you looked overwhelmed at work and said, “You need to say no to any new projects—you look overworked and you’ve already got too much on your plate.”
-Your kid said, “Forget about basketball practice tonight Mom--you need to stay home this evening and rest, you’ve been doing too much lately. It won’t matter if I miss one night.”
-Your best friend reminded you, “Be extra easy on yourself this week—the anniversary of your dad’s death is coming up, it’s a fragile time for you.”
-Your co-worker told you after you’d been beating yourself up all morning, “Cut yourself some slack about that presentation—it was your first time to deliver the new material, you did great.”
-Your Mom encouraged you, “Ask for help and let others support you—there’s no reason you need to juggle everything on your own. Call on your tribe.”
-Your neighbor reminded you “Practice ‘good is good enough’—the party doesn’t have to be perfect. People would rather have a happy, relaxed host than a sparkling clean home or homemade food.”
-Your husband called to say, “Be gentle with yourself right now, you’re in the middle of a lot of transitions; take a day off for rest and rejuvenation. I’ll pick up some Thai food on my way home and then bathe and put the kids to bed.”

Hmmmm …imagine a world where everywhere we went, we all encouraged one another to slow down, attune to our physical/emotional/spiritual and mental needs and the practice of self-care, self-compassion and self-nurturance became part of our value system. Part of our everyday experience.

It’s hard to envision, isn’t it?

It would have been hard for me to imagine eleven years ago that I would work, live and play the way I do now. (I probably would have called the current, more relaxed Renee-- a “slacker.”)

But what I've come to know after years of mindfully focusing on self-care and all that this has come to mean for me, is that I’m wiser, more prosperous, more focused, more productive and have more fun when I put my needs at the top of my to-do list before supporting and serving those around me.

And, the exciting thing? That those closest to me are beginning to do the same. Ripple on friends …and who knows, maybe a year from now we’ll all live in a world where each of us is a bit more kinder and gentler to our sweet selves than we were before. Imagine that.

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like support for focusing on self-care and learning to slow down and be more present in your everyday life? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, or visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events.

We love to hear from you. Please visit and join our Live Inside Out community to read how people are living more intentionally and share how you do the same.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Right Here, Right Now

Following a rich, connective one-day self-renewal retreat I facilitated on Friday, I attended and volunteered at GenAustin’s statewide We Are Girls Conference at the Ann Richards School for Girls all day Saturday. It was an emotionally intense weekend and one of the experiences I can’t shake was during a self-care workshop I led for high school girls and mothers Saturday afternoon.

At the end of our interactive workshop session where we explored the concept of self-care and what our portals are for self-nurturing and nourishment, I gave each woman a juicy Clementine orange.

I invited them to close their eyes and “fill” the orange with whatever it is they most need right now –support, the ability to say no, peace/well-being, self-acceptance, courage,etc. After this reflective meditation, I asked them to slowly smell, peel and then very mindfully, eat their imbued orange—symbolizing the act of fully “receiving” the qualities they had just bestowed upon themselves.

All of the moms in the room—except for one—were single, working women juggling a thousand daily obligations.

After the exercise, they shared how difficult it was to slow down and become that present (I could relate—I had a hard time eating just one section of the orange at a time!). One woman remarked that in her day to day life, she was afraid to slow down that much. She was so tired that she worried if she ever stopped and really allowed herself to become present and feel her feelings, she might not be able to get up to speed again to her normal ninety to nothing pace.

I think most of us resist being present much of the time. It's hard.

But I also know from personal experience, that it’s one of the secrets to experiencing more peace, well-being and harmony in our day-to-day lives.

I’m going to keep a sweet baby Clementine orange on my desk this week at work as I move into an overly-busy schedule and back-to-back events Thursday through Monday.

I’m hoping this visual will help remind me to slow down, to be more conscious, present and remember that overwhelm happens when I live in the future and anticipate all the things that lie before me.

And, the opportunity to feel peaceful exists when I stay right here, right now. In this very moment. And, then the next moment. And then, the next.

"Something wonderful begins to happen with the simple realization that life, like an automobile, is driven from the inside out, not the other way around. As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, rather than focusing on where you would rather be, you begin to find peace right now, in the present. Then, as you move around, try new things, and meet new people, you carry that sense of inner peace with you. It's absolutely true that, "Wherever you go, there you are." Richard Carlson, author, “Slowing Down to the Speed of Life” and “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff …And, It’s All Small Stuff.”

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like support for reconnecting with who you are and focusing on being more present in your everyday life? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and read how people are living more intentionally.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Trudeau--one of the juicy Clementine's from my self-care workshop.

Being Seen

My sweet son just turned eight.

His class has a beautiful ritual of honoring each child on their birthday with a song circle and accolades. My husband and I attended Jonah’s birthday circle last Friday and the experience really moved me.

To see how present these kids were with each other, how much they loved this heartfelt sharing, how deeply they felt about my son, how intuitive and thoughtful their accolades were and how sincere and authentic Jonah was as he received and thanked each child--was deeply inspiring.

How often do any of us get the opportunity to hear from our closest friends and family what they love about us? What they honor within us? That they actually see us, *really* see us?

Every year I write a birthday letter to my son about his current stage—what he loves, what he’s like, what’s on his radar.

This year in my letter to Jonah, I listed the top eight qualities I honor in him. I want him to know that who he is will always be much more important to me than what he does.

1. Jonah is fun. Really fun. Wherever he goes, there is a party. He loves to be silly and his playful nature is contagious.
2. He is open-minded: he is always wiling to try new things, places, foods and experiences. He loves to travel AND he loves to eat.
3. He is very creative—I love the way he sees the world, puts things together that you normally would never pair and his artistic eye is inspiring.
4. He is an idea man: his problem solving abilities probably trump mine (and mine are darn good)—in a pickle? Put Jonah to the test and he’ll come up with a solution.
5. He has a huge heart and cares deeply about his friends, family and the world. He is very compassionate and empathetic.
6. He perseveres. When he’s interested and invested in something, he hangs in there until he figures it out or gets it done. He amazes me with his focus.
7. He has a wonderful sense of humor: he knows how to bring levity to situations.
8. He’s an awesome leader. He is not afraid to jump in and help guide a situation or group when needed. He loves to take initiative and help others.

"Jonah, Jonah you shine like a star. I love you Jonah, just as you are."

JOIN US FOR A RETREAT: Interested in gaining clarity and focus on what's next for you? We have a few spots left for our 3/26 Refresh & Renew Mini Self-Care Retreat and our April 23-25 Refresh, Reclaim, Re-Balance: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings Spa & Resort in Austin, TX, but sign up today.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to register for our March 23rd FREE teleclass from 7:30-8:30 p.m. CST on Owning Your Personal Power. And sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community. Through this Friday the 19th, you can also sign up to win a free retreat when you share "why you need a retreat" on the Live Inside Out FB Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau, Jonah on the ferry.

Doing Mania

This is the time of year that many of us feel more like human doings than human beings.

Yesterday afternoon, my husband and seven-year old son went out to work on costumes for one of my husband’s upcoming Samba gigs.

I had been looking forward to this rare present all day: two to three hours of quiet time alone in my house!

After they left, I hopped online to take care of a few timely work-related items (rare for me as I try to stay offline on the weekends).

Forty-five-minutes later, I looked up and—irritated-- felt the sands of time sifting through my fingertips. My mind started racing as I thought of all the things I had wanted to do during this window—gardening, hiking, baking, cleaning out my closet, “pure fun” reading, biking (it was gorgeous and sunny in Austin yesterday). And as I noticed all of these distractions waving and running by with hopeful smiles like contestants on the Price is Right, I found my irritation subsiding and realized what I really needed to “do”—was nothing at all.

Finally, I grabbed a blanket and headed out into our backyard, found the warmest, sunniest spot I could and laid down on the grass (of course my notepad and pen were handy in case I got a sudden inspiration to write a novel!).

Can you relate?

I think there are three kinds of people:
1. Those who feel they have to “do” to be worthy (they’re constantly in motion; this was me up until about age 35)
2. Those who feel they need to “do their work” before they relax and play (I’m in this camp with millions of other Puritan work ethic devotees)
3. Those who have no guilt ever about relaxing and playing at any time! (My husband sleeps here—in his book “any time is the right time for relaxing!”)

The wonderful, wise author/mind-body expert Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. says, "Remember—your to-do list is immortal. It will live on long after you’re dead."

Being very skilled at the “doing dance,” I can honestly share that it’s quite seductive.

We’re rewarded –particularly in the U.S.—for output. You don’t hear anyone say, “Can you believe how often she says ‘no’ and how much she’s slowed down? Wow, what a role model!”

There are many dangers that come from over-doing, but I think one of the deadliest—and scariest for me when I go into over-drive-- is we forget who we are.

I’ve heard many of our Career Strategists clients share in the last ten years “Isn’t there more? I feel like I just go to work, take care of the kids, handle my endless work/home obligations, sleep on the weekends and then start all over again Monday morning.”

When we don’t balance “doing” with “being,” we begin to feel like human robots instead of the juicy, creative, vibrant, alive beings that we are.

And we forget that “Life is not a thing to be managed, it’s a mystery to be lived.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ll take meandering through a mystery over planning out a summer camp schedule and finding a new way to cook chicken breasts, any day.

AN INVITATION: Interested in playing with balancing doing vs. being and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events--including March 26th and April 23-25 spring renewal retreats--here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to register for our Feb. 23rd FREE evening teleclass on Good is Good Enough: Releasing Perfection. And sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Robot painting: Lisa Beebe.

Don't Be Afraid of Your Shadow

Traditionally the days before my Jan. 7th birthday are often the darkest days of the year for me. I often get sick—which is rare—and any anxieties, worries or fears that might have been buried over the past year, surface like long forgotten relatives.

I used to cringes with discomfort when these feelings came on (I am an optimist and am blessed with a high “happiness set point” the majority of the time).

But this year, I sat and had tea with my shadow (a psychological term introduced by Jung that encompasses everything in us that is unconscious, repressed, undeveloped and denied; the dark rejected aspects of our being). And although I could have easily “justified” my unhappiness with a long list of socially acceptable woes, I didn’t even try.

Some of the gifts that came from this insightful--though not delightful--time, include:
• The opportunity to dive inward and experience deep reflection (essential for well-being and balance; you can subscribe and read more about balance from the inside out in my upcoming January life balance newsletter)
• The chance to ask for help—to be reminded we’re interdependent and help is always there if we just reach out and allow others to see our vulnerability
• A powerful opportunity to experience contrast—between really feeling good and feeling crappy—and to acknowledge gratitude for the ability to experience joy
• That this is essential housekeeping—clean out the old and make space for the new (my theme for the New Year is wide open—more to come on this in my January career strategy newsletter)
• It allows us—if we choose—to practice trusting and knowing that "this too shall pass"
• The opportunity to ask the question “what are we de-pressing that is trying to surface?" (my wise brother who navigates a wide spectrum of moods believes depression comes on when we're de-pressing something that is trying to come to light)
• We get to visit the most unpopular vacation destination known to man--“the unknown”--and realize that's it not as bad as the brochures lead us to believe
• The chance to revisit old stuck patterns and thoughts--repetitive worries or fears—and to ask if we’re ready to find a new dance partner?

Now on the other side of the moat, I realize that more than anything, I am grateful to have the opportunity to pause. To reflect. And to realize that if my thinking, perspective, relationships or career/business course is heading in a direction that doesn’t feel right, I have the ability to re-set my GPS and pick a different route. At any time. Thank God.

AN INVITATION: Interested in experiencing more balance in 2010 and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events, including our highly popular, bi-annual Jan. 29th The Career Strategy Workshop here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to register for our Jan. 21st FREE evening teleclass on Managing Your Energy and Saying No. And sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My son and I on top of Enchanted Rock (a giant pink granite dome in the Texas Hill Country) on Jan. 2nd, celebrating the arrival of the New Year.

Overwhelm

I define life balance as having enough time, energy and resources for those things that are most important to me.

So is feeling overwhelmed—the suitor currently knocking on my door asking for a dance-- what happens when this is not the case?

I’m sure many of you can relate: I just returned home from a full five-day conference to pressing work deadlines, staff transitions to support, hundreds of emails and phone calls, a house that looks like a tornado just blew through it and a husband and child who desperately need to reconnect with me (forget the stack of unaddressed holiday cards waiting to be sent out, my son’s repeated requests to put up a Christmas tree TODAY or the extended family email chain heatedly discussing “how to celebrate Christmas” that awaits my reply).

I was coached in the mid-nineties by a presence coach on the relationship between thought and mood (ex: feeling anxious or upset—what thoughts preceded these emotions? ...feeling sad or depressed, what is your dominant internal “mantra?”).

I get that I create stress or overwhelm based on my thinking and perception of a situation. It doesn’t happen to me. And I also understand that it’s easy for all of us to tap into a greater “collective overwhelm,” particularly this time of year (read more on this in my December life balance newsletter). And, I also believe that we’re simply all trying to do too much.

But the holidays can be particularly challenging (I’m remembering now how much my mom disliked the holidays and how stressed out she used to get this time of year. Think there is a connection there? Nahhh.)

As I move through my day and week and become more aware of my thinking (and firmly but respectfully asking Monsieur Overwhelm to go knock on our neighbor’s door, my dance card is full), I remember one of the most important teachings I learned from my presence coach.

When I felt like I was swimming in a sea of stress, she would remind me to just breathe. Slow down. Listen to my body’s internal rhythm. And know that the peace I desire is right here, right now. In the present moment. It’s been there all along.

"Unease, anxiety, tension, overwhelm, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence" Eckhart Tolle, author, The Power of Now

AN INVITATION: Interested in slowing down, being more present and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to listen to past Live Inside Out teleclasses or to sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo courtesy of istockphoto.com.

Stress=Living in the Future

Years ago I remember being in a workshop with Richard Carlson, a gifted teacher, father and the author of Slowing Down to the Speed of Life, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (It’s All Small Stuff) and many other best-selling titles.

He used to speak a lot about stress reduction and experiencing enhanced well-being through slowing down and living in the moment. Someone in the audience asked him how in the world he did this when last year he had presented at 200 conferences (do the math!).

His response, “I don’t think about where I have to be on Friday, next week or the following month. I simply take a taxi to the airport. I sit and wait for the plane. I get on the plane. I de-board. I take a taxi to the hotel. I present my talk. I go back to my room to sleep. I take a taxi back to the airport ......and on I go.”

His point being that he was able to maintain such an intense schedule because he didn’t dwell on the past or become overwhelmed by the future. He stayed in the present moment.

When we’re fully present. Fully here, right now. Aware of our breath and being in our bodies, there is no stress. (Try it.) It’s thinking about our insane to-do lists and everything that lies before us that throws us over the edge.

I take this lesson to heart today as I look at my incredibly too-full week of deadlines, meetings, events and personal/school obligations and remember Richard’s wise teaching.

And I breathe. And, move forward purposefully. Grateful to be doing work I love, serving others and knowing stress is really an inside-out job. A choice.

I know Richard, who passed away suddenly in 2006 a month after he endorsed my upcoming book, would smile if heard this. And would encourage all of us to slow down and trust that everything that’s really important will get done. But, it’s up to us how we choose to experience the journey.

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can live more in the present and tap into the power of self-care? Join us Oct.29 for our FREE Live Inside Out class via telephone. Sign up here! Or, learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. View all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. High plains of New Mexico. This beautiful plant clearly enjoyed soaking up the present moment as much as we did.

Are You Connected to Your Needs?

This morning as I drove my seven-year old son to school, I mused out loud “Should I go to Yoga or Nia this morning?” I love both, but was juggling a really full day with a lot of deadlines, so I was pondering which might support a more flowing schedule.

While we waited in line at school to reach the drop off point, out of the blue, my son asked me, “Well mom, how do you feel after you go to Yoga?” “Hmmm, wise and calm,” I replied. “And how do you feel after you go to Nia?” he asked. “Alive and happy,” I said, enjoying this conversation and how engaged my child was in helping me. “So,” he continued, “what kind of day do you want to have—wise and calm or happy and alive?” “Oh, wise and calm!” I said after reflecting on what I most needed today. “Yes, it’s definitely a wise and calm day.”

I’m working with a wonderful speaker/teacher/advocate for mothers on a new publishing project on the topic of Courageous Parenting. The project visionary, Amy Tiemann, is author of Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family. She believes, as I do, that one of the most powerful gifts we can give our children is the understanding of how essential it is to be connected to and nurture our needs, so that we can full present in our relationships.

I think my son got the memo.

Looking forward to sharing more about Amy’s Courageous Parenting anthology/project, stories from my fellow contributors and how it aligns with our Live Inside Out initiative.

P.S. Speaking of aligning with your needs, if you’re in career transition and hanging out in the gap between where you’ve been and where you want to go next, check out today’s story in the Austin American Statesman on tips for making a career change over your lunch hour. And, join us Oct. 22nd in Austin at Finding Your Career Mojo for support, encouragement and ongoing resources for finding work that is a fit for you inside and out.

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can learn to connect to your needs and tap into the power of self-care? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circlesor joining us Oct.29 for our FREE Live Inside Out class via telephone. Sign up here. View all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. My son looks out into the Puget Sound hoping to see a whale as we travel on the ferry from Port Angeles to Seattle, WA.

What's Your Mantra?

A couple of week ago I was coaching two entrepreneurs in my office, one after the other, around issues related to owning their power, growing their business and experiencing more balance in their lives. (I do very little one-on-one coaching now since I have a fabulous team in place to serve our clients and I am traveling a lot more for speaking/workshops. So, it feels like a rare privilege when I do get this opportunity.)

One client, a 42-year old leadership consultant, believed that “If I just work really hard and prove my worth, everything will be ok.” The other, a highly successful 38-year old writer, operated from the place that “Life is hard and sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll get a break.”

We all have a mind-set or “mantra” (a commonly repeated word or phrase) about life that we recycle over and over in our heads, whether we’re conscious of this or not.

What I find fascinating right now—in these very interesting, potentially stressful times—is that our mantras about life are having a huge impact on our perspective around the economic downturn.

I have many mantras—we all do—but one that continually pops to the surface time and time again is “Everything always works out for the best.”

Even though many of my clients and friends—and my businesses as well—are experiencing repercussions from the recession, in the long run, I think this time will be seen as a gift. A wonderful opportunity to pause, get clear on what’s really important and possibly, make some hard life choices and course-corrections.

Mantra in Sanskrit—the language of classical Hinduism--means a sacred utterance.

When I think about how much our internal language impacts our outward experience, I don’t know about you, but it makes me want to make sure my mantra is supporting--not dis-empowering me.

And, it inspires me to want to dig a little bit and ask my close friends and family what sacred utterance permeates their thoughts and world view.

I’d love to hear your life mantra, or your perspective on the current economic scenario. If you’re willing, share it here our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

P.S. I’d love to connect! If you’re free tonight from 7-8 p.m. CST, join us for our Free Personal Renewal Group class via telephone on Reconnecting with Who You Are. For women at all life stages; details below.

AN INVITATION: Interested in learning how you can experience more loving kindness towards yourself and tap into the power of self-care? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circles, signing up for our FREE September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are or attending our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. St. Frances of Assisi Church, Ranchos de Taos, built in 1815.