What the World Needs Now

Even though I come from a large family, growing up, I often felt isolated.

My parents were big seekers. Much of their energy was spent on their personal quest to find or experience God---and they encouraged us to do the same.

Yet, in the midst of all this spiritual exploration-- we often lacked connection to a larger, extended community. And to be fair to my parents, I know the desire was there, but the knowledge of how to actually do this seemed to be missing. (I think this is common among many; I hear the question, "How DO you create community?" quite often as I travel around the U.S.)

I'm sure this is why I'm so passionate about fostering connection and community for myself, my family, and others today (the joke with my husband when I’m headed out the door to an evening or weekend gathering, is “which women’s circle, mastermind session or group are you going to —or starting--today?”).

Last night I had the opportunity to gather with some of the wonderful women and their families from my good friend Dr. Deborah Kern’s Daring Diva community. Earlier this month, in honor of my maternal grandmother’s 100th birthday, I gathered with a small group of women to honor/celebrate the gifts we have received from our grandmothers—living and deceased. This coming week, I’ll be meeting with a small sister group on the Fall Equinox to share insights from a teleclass we’re all participating in (on the same evening, another group I started for entrepreneurs in 2005, will be gathering).

And, for the last 7 years, I’ve been pouring energy into helping women reconnect with who they are, focus on self-compassion and attune to their need/desires through our global Personal Renewal Group Program. And, I am very committed to continuing to regularly create and facilitate women’s retreats.

Why does it seem that now, more than ever, we’re all craving opportunities to gather in small, intentional gatherings and explore what matters most (Live Inside Out provides more insight into this)?

~I believe we’re one another’s teachers. And, we were MEANT to be interdependent not uber-independent (a common modus operandi for many of us); on the deepest level we know this to be true.
~Often when I’m going through a challenging time, when I gather with like-minded friends for authentic conversation—I feel validated, supported and more often than not, discover we’re having similar—and sometimes even identical--experiences!
~Friends that care deeply about me and hold the highest/best for me, remind me of who I *really* am—and help me remember my stuff isn’t the “biggest thing that’s happening to me,” it’s just the “biggest thing in the moment!”
~We’re much more interconnected than we could ever imagine. And when we gather in groups, we’re reminded of this in profound ways.
~So often when we hear someone in a group articulate what we’ve been trying for months to put words to, we have an immediate shift in perspective or ah-ha moment.
~The practice of being real, vulnerable and deeply authentic in front of others—as my mentor says, “showing up warts and all”—can be amazingly cathartic.
~More and more research is illustrating the positive effect gathering in groups has on women—specifically our immune systems and serotonin levels get a boost and we release oxytocin—which results in us feeling calmer and happier overall (and yes, men need this, too!).

The power of groups, never ceases to amaze me. I truly think it's what the world needs now.

And as I launch a new group experience this week on Self-Care as a Spiritual Practice (my first ongoing women’s group in three years), I move into the next phase and evolution of my work, knowing that the gifts that will come from this journey will be unfolding for years to come.

It’s just a feeling I have. And usually, my hunches are right on.

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like to experience connection and community and receive support from like-minded women? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our November 5th One-Day Women's Self-Renewal Retreat and our FREE October 14th Live Inside Out teleclass on Being More Present and Remembering What Matters.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and read how people are living more intentionally.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Whether in groups of 3 or 300, from Africa to Atlanta, women from around the world have understood the power that comes from gathering in groups for thousands of years.

What We Crave: Community & Connection

Recently after speaking at a large women’s conference on the topic of life balance and living life from the inside-out, I was approached by a woman in her late thirties, her eyes were filled with tears.

She shared that while sitting in the audience and hearing me talk about building a support network, she had a light bulb moment: even though she attended a monthly girls’ night out, a book club meeting and was involved in her neighborhood association, what she is really missing is a deeper sense of connection and community with others.

I hear this a lot. From men and women all over the world, including my coaching clients, at talks I give around the country, in workshops at corporations/organizations and from moms on the playground.

We’re moving so fast, navigating the demands of a 24/7 world, expected to juggle so much and are socialized to be mostly surface in our day-to-day interactions, that many of us are left starving for what really nourishes us: heart-felt connection, dialogue around what matters most, the chance to be heard and validated and the opportunity to connect with others who are as interested in our “inner life” as our “outer life.”

This is why I started the first Personal Renewal Group for women in 2003 (read more). I believe that when we have the opportunity to connect with one another on a deeper level, in an empowering, structured environment that is focused on helping us define and create lives that truly nurture/nourish us, society as a whole begins to shift and move in a more positive direction.

Where is your soft place to fall? Who do you go to, to share what’s in your heart and on your mind? What resources/groups support and empower you? Where do you feel connected to a larger community? Where can you show up warts and all (as my mentor says) and be the “real” you?

For me (and now thousands of women around the globe), it’s when we’re in a self-renewal circle with other women. I invite you to join me this Thursday evening, June 11th --details below--for a free Personal Renewal Group sampler class and explore if starting/joining one of these groups is for you (sorry guys, women only). If not, no worries, you can still benefit from the powerful self-care tips/strategies you'll hear in the class.

I believe we were not meant to live in isolation. And, that the future of our planet will be largely dependent on our ability to create and participate in meaningful, intentional community with one another.

P.S. Join me in a virtual living room to experience a taste of a Personal Renewal Group (PRG) for women and learn about the Power of Self-Care. Register today for our free June 11th PRG Sampler class—it’s interactive, but you’re welcome to just drop in and listen. There is a “mute” option if you're in a noisy household :).

Learn more about how to Live Inside Out (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau--ripening blueberries on a Olympic Peninsula berry farm in WA state. Did you know they grew this closely together?

Life Balance on My Terms

I define life balance as having enough time, energy and resources for those things that are most important to me.

I had the wonderful opportunity to lead a women’s Personal Renewal Group (PRG) Facilitator Training Weekend Retreat at The Crossings Austin in late September. It was an amazing experience and as always, lots of deep learning for everyone involved.

The following week I hosted a Biz and Balance Success Group Meeting for Entrepreneur Moms (you can learn more about this free community gathering at Career Strategists) and then in early October, I was very involved in the Texas Conference for Women, where I spoke during two sessions on "Embracing the Chaos: Work/Life Balance from the Inside Out” and participated in other conference activities for this 8,000 person event.

The morning after the conference, I got on the plane and headed to Orlando, FL to speak at the Association for Women In Communications National Conference on “The Courage to Follow Your Heart Taking Risks in Life and Career” and then the next day I led a free community workshop and Self Renewal Party for an amazing gathering of moms in downtown Orlando, hosted by Hopscotch Boutique and the Central Florida YMCA.

Crazy?! Maybe a little. Looking at my schedule over the past 3 weeks--and the reason for my absence from my blog--you might wonder how I’m feeling and how my emotional/physical well-being is!!

I did some extra things to help nurture myself during this busy travel time (bringing healthy snacks and staying hydrated, taking short walks when I could, building in “alone time,” delivering “good is good enough” presentations and trying to stay present as much as possible), but overall I was so “fed’ by these opportunities to visit with women from around the nation about "The Mother's Guide" and the Personal Renewal Groups that it didn’t feel crazy, but rather nourishing. (Ok, at times it did feel a little crazy.)

But, most importantly to me, I entered into this very full three-week period, intentionally--knowing these were events I really wanted to devote time and energy to.

I wouldn't recommend a schedule this intense if you can avoid it, but we all have those times when things unavoidably get a little to tightly stacked.

The last three weeks have been a great opportunity for me to reflect on this ever-evolving "life balance" journey and continue to look at what really fuels and drains me in my life. I'm grateful to be doing work I love that feeds me on many levels and at the same time am very conscious about not giving everything I have to a calling and not leaving enough energy for the other things in my life that are top priorities.

A friend commented recently that it must be hard to not have my parents to lean on and how unfortunate it is that my mom and dad never got to see the book or observe me in my current role. Yes, it definitely can be. But, ironically, I wouldn't be doing this work if I hadn't experienced those premature losses.

P.S. While at the www.txconferenceforwomen.org, I had the opportunity to be on a panel with work/life balance consultant and author Cali Williams Yost, author of "Work+Life Fit". Cali, like me, advocates being sensitive to your current life stage and individual/family needs when determining what type of job is a fit for you. She is very insightful and outlines a plan for how to do this and create your personal "work+life fit" in her book. Check it out, she offers a wonderful perspective on the topic of balance and great resources to help you on your career path.

What Anchors Me

In my last Renewal newsletter, I talked about those things in my life that “anchor me” and help keep me present. One of the biggest anchors in my life and something I look forward to every month (yet forgot to mention!) is MY Personal Renewal Group. As I spend more and more time supporting other women in getting trained to lead Personal Renewal Groups, I keep thinking at some point I need to stop facilitating groups and pass the baton. But, I can’t. My group feeds me emotionally and spiritually, helps remind me to make my self-care a priority, connects me to our “oneness” and bonds me with a special group of women I care deeply about.

Earlier this month, my colleague, Amy Tieman, author of “Mojo Mom” interviewed me on why I started these groups and why intentional women’s circles are so powerful. I hope you get the chance to check out Amy’s work and listen to our recent conversation “Mojo Mom and Self-Renewal” :http://www.mojomom.com/podcast/index.htm.

Following a Calling

I remember the final two years working as a communications director for a multi-faceted organization before I left to start Career Strategists, as being one of the most frustrating and often difficult, periods of my life.

I knew I was ready for something totally different, but I just didn’t know what it was. I was in the valley and wanted out—NOW! I wanted to know what awaited me and I was tired of waiting for it. One of the many inspirations that helped me make it through that period and get in touch with my own inner wisdom, was “Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life,” by Gregg Levoy. He shares that when you follow a calling, you can usually be assured you’ll be surfing waves of fear and uncertainty on a continual basis, but--you will never feel more alive (scared as hell, but living large!).

In many ways, I feel I’m back there again.

In 2003, halfway through leading my first Personal Renewal Group, I remember very vividly, sitting at a coffee house with my laptop in front me, thinking “there is no way I have the time—or even desire—to write a book (PRG members had been sharing our group exercises with their friends around the U.S. and kept asking for a ‘workbook’).”

Immediately after this thought, I placed my fingers on the keys and said, “Ok, if I were to consider writing this, what would the titles of the twelve chapters be (we follow a month-by-month format)?” In five minutes the themed chapter titles (that you currently see in the Guide) were staring back at me and I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I remember thinking, “something is going on here and I have a feeling, it’s bigger than me.”

Fast forward almost four years and numerous life changes later, and I have made the (crazy?) decision to cash out our savings/retirement and self-fund a national women’s initiative centered around “The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal.”

Our formal launch is this month and the response to the program has been incredibly encouraging (when I get an email from a woman in Vancouver or Madison or Sacramento interested in starting or joining a Personal Renewal Group, it makes my day!). But, it doesn’t mean I don’t have many hours and days when I wonder “did I sign up for this?", “when do I get my old life back?” and “how do I sustain a national initiative emotionally and financially through its early stages?”

And the answer is, “who knows?” The first group I started was purely out of my own need to have a dialogue with mothers beyond what our kids were eating, doing or saying. And, to really explore and dive into what this transition means to each of us and how we reconnect with who we are. And, ten groups later now, I keep leading PRGs because they help me stay grounded and remind me about the power of self-care and who I really am.

Honestly, I feel as though I was tapped on the shoulder to help shepherd these messages along and all this just happens to be unfolding at a time when mothers are really ready for this work and to begin sharing/ supporting one another in deeper ways. Who’s to say what will unfold over the next twelve months. Whatever it may be, I am grateful for the experiences thus far and while serving others is incredibly fulfilling, I know how important it is to also keep my self-care and my family’s emotional well-being in check, too. (More later--this was a big challenge this past spring.)

I have always resonated with the phrase, “Life is not a business to be managed, it’s a mystery to be lived.” Looking forward to embracing more of the mystery this summer.

P.S. Check out an excerpt from “Callings,” at: http://www.gregglevoy.com/character_courage_callings.html. A truly amazing book.

P.S.S. If you feel your calling is focused around empowering other women, you might want to consider getting trained to lead a Personal Renewal Group. If you do, buckle your seatbelt, it's quite a ride!