How does balance feel to you?

Although I enjoyed a long walk with a good friend around Town Lake Saturday morning and a relaxing dinner at home with my family Saturday evening (we made some wonderful fish tacos on fresh corn tortillas), I found myself feeling crabby and short-tempered off and on throughout the weekend.

Why? It could have been stress, but most likely it was because I had to work part of the time due to some important deadlines. And, this ate into any time I would normally have for myself.

Our family likes to play. A lot. And although I love my work—which often doesn’t even feel like work—I look forward to and relish my weekends for downtime, relaxation, hearing music or seeing art, being outdoors, taking pictures, trying new foods, hanging out with friends and family and going on new adventures.

It was a good experience to taste “contrast” (what many spiritual teachers call disequilibrium or feeling challenged by life) and to be reminded of what’s important to me, how I desire to live my life and how committed I am to feeling connection, community, meaning and joy—at least most of the time!

The experience brought me back to the opening chapter of my book where I share:

The life I desire is marked by a deep connection to my child and to my partner. It’s a life filled with joy and meaning. It’s a life in which I feel supported and nurtured by an incredible community of women—young and old. I experience regular, meaningful, heartfelt connections with people I care about. I am continually open to growth—as a woman, a mother, a partner and a spiritual being. I enjoy supporting and serving others in a way that feeds me rather than drains me. I feel that I always have enough time in my life for those things that are most important to me. My life flows, I trust my intuition and I expect good to come to me. I feel peaceful. I am loving, and I feel loved.

This is really how “balance” (the concept of having enough time, energy and resources to devote to those things that are most important to you), feels to me.

I’m curious, how does balance “feel” to you?

Posted by Renee Trudeau, coach/speaker and author “The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life.” Click here to read her latest Life Balance ENewsletter on Building a Support System or here to subscribe to her blog, The Journey. Learn more about her upcoming events and retreats here.

Photo: Open grasses on the east side of Enchanted Rock: Renee Peterson Trudeau.

Simplicity

One of our favorite family activities is to visit the Sunset Valley Farmer’s Market each Saturday morning, choose some yummy things to eat for the day/week and come home and enjoy a wonderful leisurely lunch together.

This past Saturday, we feasted on a marinated, slow roasted free range chicken from an amazing German chef (my friend Kate calls it ‘crack chicken” it’s so seductively good), a jar of Hairston Creek’s delicious sweetly marinated bread and butter pickles, some fabulous organic, pasture raised eggs from Ringger Farm which we hard-boiled, a loaf of chewy Ciabatta bread from Sweetish Hill Bakery, some crisp gala apples and some organic winter greens from Gundermann farms which we sauteed in lemon zest and olive oil. Yum.

Life coach/author Cheryl Richardson says our quality of life is enhanced not by what we add to, but what we remove from our plates.

Each Monday, I start the day—no matter how busy I am—by attending this amazingly nourishing Hatha yoga class near my home. Often I see friends there and they ask, "So, how was your weekend?” I like this question, because it make me pause.

The weekends that are the most fun, the most soulful, the most satisfying, are those where didn’t do much. Where we allowed for expanses of time, to enjoy the simple things—a impromptu walk with neighbors, a family game of scrabble, hiking and exploring a new natural spot, sharing good food together, lying around lazily reading, etc.

My family is finding that we are enjoying the “challenge” of experiencing more on less (like most, we’re on a tight budget and are looking at creative ways to make our dollars go farther; read more from my recent newsletter on how this unique time in history is challenging us all).

What are the simple things that you find deeply nourishing? When was the last time you enjoyed these activities? I’d love to hear what simple things feed you and yours.

P.S. Thanks for all the great stories you emailed me about your personal spiritual journeys. Writer/intuitive consultant Jennifer Hill Robenalt recently launched an interesting spiritually-focused blog called Current Living; we sat down recently to discuss my path. Read more.

And, considering joining me April 24-26th at The Crossings for my Spring Women's Self-Renewal Retreat--a wonderful opportunity to nurture yourself, enjoy expanses of stillness and really explore how and where you find meaning in life.

Alive

Although it’s been challenging juggling everything this month, I am really enjoying my January writing sabbatical. And, it’s headed in a completely different direction than I had thought—but I’ll save that for another time.

Creating mental space—where I can actually allow my thoughts to slowly meander where they like, as opposed to the daily rush of reacting to endless requests-- has really allowed me to remember what invigorates, inspires and makes me come alive.

I started a weekly Intuitive Arts painting class with Fire Tree Studio—a gift from my siblings for my 43rd birthday; last weekend, my family attended an amazing photography exhibit called Workers-- about the world’s laborers and this past Saturday night my husband –a Brazilian drummer—and I stepped out of our comfort zone and went two-stepping at the world-famous Broken Spoke, one of the oldest dance halls in Texas, where legend Dale Watson was playing. This Friday, as I celebrate my birthday with my five brothers and sisters, we will all be hitting a local roller skating rink—something I haven’t done in probably 17 or more years!

And, after months of begging from my six-year old, we finally got it together to volunteer and go out on a Mobile Loaves and Fishes truck (am amazing Austin-based nonprofit that feeds and clothes the homeless and poor), and traveled to halfway homes and government housing on a cold, dark week night, offering meals, support and a little conversation to our neighbors on the east side of town.

Later that night, my son couldn’t stop talking about the experience (he actually served people directly from the back of the truck offering them their choice of fruit, chips, etc.) saying, “this was the best day of my life!” He later shared with my husband as he was tucking him in that night, that he used to think the homeless were different from him, but he now realizes they’re his brothers and sisters.

All of these experiences made me feel alive. They are the kinds of things I have always done since I was a young kid. They are who I am.

I love to express my creativity and soak up the various ways others express their creative spirit, too (more on this in my next Life Balance Newsletter). My mother, a classically trained musician, used to love to open all our windows when the weather was nice and put on Bach's Brandenberg Concertos to inspire us when we were little. Creative expression was a constant in our household.

I feel, in times of uncertainty, it’s always wise to return to that which feeds us from the “inside out.” And, reminds us of who we really are and what really matters.

What makes YOU come alive? I’d love to hear your stories!

P.S. We’ll be exploring our creativity as an essential part of developing a self-care practice at the Spring Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings. I’d love to see you and your mothers/sisters/girlfriends there!

P.S.S. I also wanted to recommend a beautiful, much-needed book for working moms written by my friend Phaedra Cucina, who expressed her creativity through the creation of her new heart-felt book “My Mommy’s on a Business Trip.” The book tells of the “adventures” of business travel from a young child’s point of view, with the endearing message that mom misses her and is coming home soon. Available exclusively at http://www.mommytrip.com/,

Extreme Self Care

After an intense period of back-to-back workshops and retreats, yesterday, I took an "extreme self care" day to rest and rejuvenate.

Being out of town (and having staff who had also been away with their families last week), left us all with a mountain of work. But, I wouldn't budge. This was my day and I was claiming it, no matter what!

I actually set aside this day on my calendar several weeks ago, knowing how full the month of October looked for me. I've found scheduling these dates in advance is the only way to make these mini-retreats possible.

An extreme self-care day is a stretch of time (preferably 8 hours, but 4 will do) where I'm completely devoted to nurturing my physical/mental/emotional/spiritual well-being. My only job is to become attuned to the needs of my body, mind and spirit--and then to nourish myself accordingly.

Hoh Rain Forest, WA Renee Peterson Trudeau

My day began by moving much slower in the morning, than I normally do (anyone who has kids can attest to how stressful mornings *can be*). I let my husband and son navigate breakfast and the search for homework, lunches and lost library books. I refused to feel rushed or check email and I really allowed myself to slow down and release the endless "to dos" that so often come knocking at our doors on Monday mornings.

After taking my son to school, I arrived at my yoga class extra early and sat in the quiet of my car, journaling. After yoga, I got a massage and then went to a nearby natural foods store where I picked up an absolutely decadent pear and a few other treats (I really focused on listening to what foods my body was telling me would truly nourish me). By doing so, I also got the news that I was dehydrated.

Afterwards, I headed home and took a long hot bath, then put on the softest, most comfortable clothes I could find. I considered riding my bike and then paused quietly to see how I felt. Tired. In need of rest. And I curled up in my favorite reading spot to finish the last of my delicious Amy Tan novel--not giving the stack of work-related or human potential books next to my nightstand a second thought.

This wonderful experience ended abruptly when I went to pick up my son from school at 2:45 p.m., but was nonetheless, well worth it. And a great reinforcement to me about the power of self-care. I was calmer and more relaxed with my family last night and entered my work week not feeling as overwhelmed as I have in the past with the "oh my god, I've been out of town forever and I don't know if I'll ever get caught up" feeling.

Is it time for you to schedule an extreme self-care day? What would it look like? How would you start your day? Would you move your body? What would you eat? Would you rest or sleep all day? What is the most decadent thing you could imagine doing (stay in your pajamas in bed all day and ordering take out!)? Would you completely unplug from phone/email/electronics all day? Would you stay in your home or go somewhere (I have a single girlfriend who travels a lot for work and often offers her beautiful, quiet home as a retreat getaway to her mom friends)?

Out of curiosity, I looked up the definition of rest. One I found was: the cessation of work, exertion, or activity.

So many of us have heard the popular phrase we're human beings, not human doings. Yet, the concept of "rest" is still foreign to many of us (it wasn't until I had my son that I started to get how beneficial this concept is for all of us--regardless of age!).

Maybe it's just me (an oldest child, recovering overachiever, perfectionist with controlling tendencies) that has a hard time knowing when to just stop and rest. Or maybe we could all benefit from a mass media campaign that counters the way-too-popular words " just do it" ? Hmmm. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one.

P.S. If this concept is new to you, you might want to check out the chapter on The Transformative Power of Self-Care from my book, you can go to www.ReneeTrudeau.com and download two free sample chapters from the right column of the home page.