Trusting

Last night I had the opportunity to have dinner with a dear friend who just celebrated her 49th birthday. We ate at one of my favorite restaurants located in an old house in East Austin, surrounded by two acres of beautiful gardens filled with seasonal, organic herbs and veggies—which end up on lucky diners’ plates each night.

Sitting in a beloved restaurant I’ve had been coming to for more than 18 years (possibly even sitting in the same chair I sat in back then) I had flashbacks of eating here in my twenties with friends from the advertising/public relations agency world I used to inhabit.

I was struck by how different my “inner world” is now than it was then. Those were fun, creative and emotionally turbulent times for me. And, I recognize now that I had a constant low-grade anxiety running through my system.

For the most part, I believed that my inner or emotional state was totally dependent on what was going on around me (if I received high kudos at work=had a good day .... didn’t get a call from the guy I went out with the night before who I wasn’t even sure I liked=bad day).

Like all of us, I’m navigating some personal and professional challenges right now, but most of the time, I have a deeper sense that everything is and will be ok. No matter what.

Not that I’m walking around 100% of the time in a state of bliss, but I do feel a sense of quiet and inner peace that is stronger and more unwavering than any “problem du jour.”

Maybe this is one of the gifts that come from “the mellow forties,” my friend and I theorized over our chocolate almond torte. Maybe all the personal growth work we’ve done is finally taking hold (or the merlot we’re drinking has us believing this is so). Or maybe it’s simply that we’re finally learning to let go and trust that all is well, or as self-care advocate Cheryl Richardson says, “The Universe is conspiring in my favor.”

I’m going to place my bet on the latter. Whenever I challenge my career/small business coaching clients to get quiet and move into that trusting place—that good things are unfolding for them and that people around them want to support them and help out--they visibly shift and their thoughts, actions words begin to come from a place of wisdom and knowing, rather than reactivity.

What helps you move into a state of trusting? What reminds you that things are aligning to support your highest good?

I think we’d all agree, that in the current state the world is in, it’s essential that we all find this place within us. And that we do all we can to support in others in doing the same.

P.S. Check this out: a few of my colleagues that are doing all they can to support others in finding their trusting place: Diana Amorde, Karly Randolph Pitman, and Byron Katie. I highly recommend their work.

Photo: ©2008 Bill Stevenson and World of Stock.

Don't Believe Everything You Think

Photo: Cliffs of Moher, County Clare, Irleland, August 2007, Renee Trudeau

The two weeks before Thanksgiving were really stressful for me. I was feeling pulled in too many directions by work, had countless deadlines breathing down my back and I was feeling discouraged by the amount of time/resources I was putting into a project--that was only just getting off the ground. I felt overwhelmed by my inbox, requests from others for help and demands from family--I was cooked!

One of the things that most frustrated me about that crazy period was that I had lost perspective--and I knew it.

My thoughts were tiresome, stressful and repetitive. I could feel how "stuck" I was and all I could do was pray for a change in perspective.

Author/teacher Byron Katie (www.thework.com), says "An unquestioned mind is the world of suffering. There are no new stressful thoughts. They’re all recycled."

So true. I've always loved the saying "Don't believe everything you think." When I'm feeling stuck, I try to remember this phrase and not take myself--or my thinking--too seriously!

And, finally, clarity and relief did come (it always does in its own sweet time, doesn't it?).

After slowing down, going for a hike on the greenbelt with my family and releasing some of my self-imposed ideas about how things "should be going," I was able to finally ease up, relax and start living in the present: the only place we can be assured of true inner peace, right?

The photo I took above of the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland--a stunning sight--helps me gain perspective on my life. The vastness of the rock wall and ocean reminds me of how trivial my problem du jour really is and how essential it is that I trust in that which is greater than me.

Thank you God for the opportunity to--at any moment--change how we see things.