I Choose Love ... Again

I vividly remember an afternoon fourteen years ago when I was living in an apartment in central Austin with my husband-to-be, curled up in front of the fireplace reading my dad's old, weathered copy of Return to Love by author/teacher Marianne Williamson. 

The book’s core message--that every moment and every day we're presented with two choices: to come from love or fear--landed in my body like an anchor of truth.

Marianne says that every thought, word and action is either motivated by love--which allows us to trust in the flow of life, connect with others and expect good to come to us--or fear, which causes us to doubt, constrict and cut ourselves off from others, made so much sense. 

I choose love.

I choose to relax into the flow of life. I choose to be open and receptive to those I come in contact with. I choose to trust that “things are working out for my highest and best” and that the days and months ahead will be filled with many good things to come. I choose to always feel as if there is more than enough for everyone all the time. I choose to remember that the more I love, accept and am kind to  myself, the more I am able to love and have compassion for those around me. And I choose to have an open, accessible heart.

I attended a dinner party and and each of were asked to bring and share a favorite love poem. I considered bringing a favorite passage from Mary Oliver, Hafiz, Rumi, David Whyte and others, but I kept getting pulled back to the following famous passage from Marianne Williamson.

My dad--who would have been 72 last Wednesday-- gave this poem to me right before he died from a heart attack in 1996. I think his final words of wisdom were intended to gestate and reverberate within me, before they rippled out into the world. As I grow, evolve and age, I find the more I own my power, let my light shine and let others see me live "full out,"---the more others feel comfortable doing the same. Thank you dad for this and the many gifts you gave me.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most
frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is
nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure about you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same. As we are
liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, author, Return to Love

INVITE: Want to learn more about the powerful I Choose Love message? Read on. And if you're Interested in receiving support for owning your power and choosing love over fear, join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Wellness.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this fall or spring
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: This daily reminder to choose love over fear is taped to the front of my fridge.  At left: Global l I Choose Love PSA: learn more.

Serving Up Self-Compassion

 

Yesterday I felt like I was swimming through mud.

I was feeling judgmental and self-critical and everywhere I turned, all I could see were barriers and road blocks.

During my morning meditation (the one thing that usually always cleans my "lens"), the negative thoughts kept coming, dancing across my radar like annoying contestants from The Price is Right.  It seemed relief was nowhere in sight!

My saving grace? I knew my thinking was off. At the same time that I was stewing in "not good enough" chowder, there was a level of discernment happening--thanks in large part to a presence coach I began working with almost 17 years ago that introduced me to the principles author/therapist Richard Carlson taught relating to thought and mood.

Even though I was having a hard time pulling myself out of this funk, I knew I was responsible for feeling yucky. I was the originator of these negative thoughts. These pesky, multiplying “tribbles” (remember these on Star Trek?) were having a field day at my expense. And yes, the quickest way to change my mood was to change my thinking, but yesterday morning, this task looked as daunting as climbing Mount Everest.

So I acknowledged where I was. I stopped trying to change things. And, I stepped back and looked at the big picture (I had been woken up at 3:00 a.m. by my husband's snoring, I was swamped at work and I was getting over a cold). I gave myself a break and reached out and asked for some support. I kept my expectations low around my work output.  I tried to laugh at myself (“You’ve got to be kidding ….you think I’m going to believe THAT?!). And I drank a tall glass of self-compassion as I sat with the  reminder that this too shall pass.Tomorrow is a new day.

A part of me--what I call our "Wise Self"--knew that this state of insanity was temporary, like clouds passing overhead. I am not my negative thoughts.I was just entertaining these unwanted house guests.

We're all guaranteed of one thing--the thoughts (good, bad and ugly)-- will keep coming. As long as we're human, we'll keep experiencing both high and low moods. And occasionally, when we're lucky, we'll get to watch our naysayer thoughts float on down the river while we wave from the banks. Or we can wrap ourselves in a big soft blanket of self-compassion and tenderness when instead, we're on the raft clinging tightly to them.
 
INVITE: Interested in learning how to cultivate self-compassion and be more accepting of where you are right now? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Wellness.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this fall or spring
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: One of our Self-Renewal Retreat attendees creating a piece of self-compassion heart art.

What Does Self-Care Mean to You? (...and our winner!)

We received more than 300 entries into the Year-of-Self-Care Retreat Giveaway and as I sat reading these moving, inspiring, wise, sometimes funny and very real

shares--in response to "What Does Self-Care Mean to Me?"-- what touched me deeply were the reoccurring messages of self-forgiveness, releasing guilt and believing I

deserve self-care, learning to cultivate self-compassion, breathing and listening to my body, remembering to laugh and find joy in everyday life, expressing and connecting with my authentic self, being fully "me" (not who others want me to be) and how powerful it is to get a good night's sleep!

I've been teaching, studying and practicing the art of self-care--which I define as attuning and responding to your deepest needs and desires--for 12 years and all I can say is it's a journey that doesn't end--it definitely keeps deepening, widening and expanding. And today, I really see self-care as a spiritual practice. Learning to cultivate self-acceptance, self-compassion and responding to what I need--moment to moment--has had a profound effect on every area of my life.

The winner! So, Sunday a.m. after my son brought me breakfast in bed, he drew a name at random from the entries. And ....Nora got the call with the good news that SHE WON the $2700 retreat package! (It took us a while to track her down--she's in the middle of finishing her dissertation!)

Nora and I connected on Monday and she shared that she and her husband Doug (married 20 years) have two special needs kids Kiernan, 13, and Ripley, 10. They live in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

                                         Nora building a fire on Lake Superior with her boys.
                                        
Nora shared, “When I read Renee's e-newsletter on the giveaway, the self-care message was so timely for where I was at that week. I entered the contest because it made me reflect on self-care and what I really needed. I found Renee's life balance site/newsletter a couple years ago; last year I participated in a Personal Renewal Group with Sarina LaMarche. It's been so incredibly supportive that I decided to take the class again this year. The best thing about winning this prize is the chance to take a break (more than a couple hours), and spend time reflecting on where I need to go this next year to do a better job of self-care and what lessons I've learned that I can share with others in my life. I'm also very excited to get together with other women -- I believe there's a synergy that happens when we come together intentionally. I can't remember the last time I went away for a weekend just for me, not for work or with the family. This is really an incredible gift!”

Here are a few highlights from the entries we received on The Journey, through our Live Inside Out Community and through our self-care book giveaway program (thanks to

all our partners!) in response to the question: What does self-care mean to you? I encourage you to read them all!

• Tania--tuning into the voice in my heart--and responding.
• Pat--connecting with my inner self on hearing how best to love myself in the moment.
• Allison--believing I'm worthy of self-care.
• Bluefeather--understanding that it's not about spending money, but about taking even 30 seconds at the beginning of the day to check in around what I most need that day.
• Jodi--I know I'm embracing self-care when I  can laugh instead of snap at my well-meaning husband and be happy--instead of overwhelmed--by my wacky house.
• Aidan's mom--taking time to invest in my marriage--as it is such a source of nurturing for me.
• Claire--being near and playing in water deeply nourishes me.
• Leila-listening to my body when it begs for exercise rather than my mind who is saying "deadlines, deadlines!"
• AnnieB--treating myself the way I am teaching my children to treat others; this is often challenging to do.
• Tammy G--forgiving myself for not getting everything done on my list because my son had a list of his own that didn't include laundry and errands.
• Kerry--sometimes self-care looks like slowing down enough to rescue wayward worms from the storm puddles in the morning.
• Ida Kim--asking "what do I need?" and honoring and keeping the appointments I make with my sweet self.
• Michelle--treating myself like I would a cherished best friend.
• Jennifer--saying, "No," when I need to, and reserving my "Yes" for what's most important to me.
• Haley--allowing myself to live an authentic life and to follow my passions without guilt.
• JennGator--remembering that what's most important--and what feeds me--is not putting away laundry or unloading the dishwasher, but expressing love to my daughter.

Thanks to all of you for participating in this community event (and huge thanks to the good folks at Kripalu for donating the retreat!). I hope that being challenged to answer, "What does self-care mean to me?" caused you to pause and even
for a moment--reflect on how you treat, care for and talk to yourself.

Interested in learning more about The Transformative Power of Self-Care? Here's a free chapter from my book on this theme and some great free life balance teleclasses to
jump start your self-care journey. Let us know how we can support you in tapping into this powerful teaching!

P.S. Never been on a retreat, but always wanted to? For 20 years, I have taken retreats and led retreats because I find that periodically stepping away from my life, gives me
the perspective I need to remember what matters most and reconnect with my true self. (And of course, I also love the deep nourishment and relaxation that come
from a weekend totally devoted to my needs and desires!). There's still room in my June 22-24 New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in MA! We'd love to have you continue this conversation with us in our upcoming women's circle.


I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my June 8th Empowered Entrepreneur and June 22-24 Kripalu retreat;check out all upcoming events
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: My sweet ten-year-old son holding the winner's name with great care. "Mama, she'll be soooo excited!!" 

Self-Compassion

Last week I had a day where I felt like I was swimming through steel cut oatmeal (as my west Texas therapist friend Donna likes to say).

I was judgmental and finding fault with every person, group, situation, scenario I was bumping up against.

And when I meditated, the thoughts I usually watch dance by like twigs rolling down a river, were as thick as cement running through my veins.

But my saving grace was I knew it. There was a level of discernment happening thanks largely to a presence coach I began working with almost 17 years ago that introduced me to the principles author/therapist Richard Carlson taught around the connection between thought and mood.

Even though I couldn’t easily pull myself out of this funk, I knew I was responsible for feeling yucky. I was the originator of these negative thoughts. These pesky, multiplying “tribbles” (remember these on Star Trek?) were having a field day at my expense. And yes, the quickest way to change my mood was to change my thinking, but that morning, this task looked as daunting as climbing Mount Everest.

So I acknowledged where I was. Reached out and asked for some support. Kept my expectations low around my work output. Tried to laugh at myself (“You’ve got to be kidding ….you think I’m going to believe THAT?!). Drank a tall glass of self-compassion and sat with the reminder that this too shall pass.

And it did. Friday came and after I had the opportunity to teach a workshop for an amazing, inspiring group of professionals, I was reminded of who I really was. And that I am not my negative thoughts.

And what I truly desire is that I’ll remember to be grateful when my mood is high and graceful when it’s low.

Because one thing I’m guaranteed of for the rest of this life is that the thoughts will keep coming. And some days when I’m lucky, I’ll get to watch them float by on the river, waving from the banks. While others, I’ll find myself jumping on their tenuous raft and floating down the murky stream right along with them, rats and all!

P.S. Each quarter I take a personal/business planning retreat to help me determine how best to use my energy/time to support my businesses in the coming 3-6 months. If you're self-employed and needing focus, an energy boost, high level, strategic coaching support and to be reminded of why you do what you do this fall, consider joining me on Sept. 16 at Casa de Artistas in Austin. I love these visioning retreats and always leave with clear, grounded direction.

Note: I'm out on a writing sabbatical this summer and we're surveying the Emotional and Spiritual Health of Families for my new writing project. If you have 5 minutes to tell me about your family culture, I’d love to get your input (and feel free to share with friends/lists): http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RXZ88GR

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event; join me Oct. 14-16 at Kripalu in the amazing cool Berkshire mountains for our Women's Self-Renewal Retreat.
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Sept. 8th class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Roses from my sister's blessingway. They say the rose is symbolic of compassion for self and others. I'll have another round.

Waves

This past weekend, my family headed to the Texas coast for a 48 hour date with Mother Nature.

We have not taken a vacation since my husband was laid off last summer from his software job (he’s on a short-term contract gig right now) and we really needed a break.

In general, we like to take frequent, easy vacations as opposed to one big one, so we’ve really been missing our regular jaunts to New Mexico, Big Bend, the Gulf of Mexico, the Davis Mountains and other favorite southwest U.S. haunts.

The weekend was just what we needed. We saw beautiful pelicans, dolphins, a huge variety of birds (a birding couple had traveled from Australia to Port Aransas to see a rare seagull that was flying through!), turtles, jellyfish, crabs, collected shells during sunrise, ate mahi mahi and shrimp while watching the sunset and enjoyed laughing and being together. My almost 9-year-old son only said he was “bored” twice!

My son and I love to walk on the beach in the early hours of the morning while my husband sleeps in and see what washed ashore while we were sleeping. We both find such delight in exploring the untouched shores barefoot and scanning the wet sand for treasures and sea life.

It’s been a couple of years since we came to the beach as a family. As I trolled up and down the shore with my son, watched the waves crash and fall and felt the magnetic pull of the earth and ocean under my bare feet, I was struck by how different I felt on this visit compared to coast trips I've taken in the past.

The only way I can describe it is to say I feel “quieter” on the inside. And, there’s a heightened unmistakable sense of ease, compassion and self-acceptance present. If I had to guess, I attribute this in large part to a now regular meditation practice. And, a clear intention to more and more release and let go (read more).

That’s not to say that I don’t experience emotional and ups and downs (like the waves I watched with utter fascination as they crashed against the granite jetty!), but my inner “home” is just a bit mellower.

Interesting. It was great to get away. It was great to allow nature to heal us. And, it was nice to know that as my outer body evolves and ages, my inside is evolving, too. Slowly but surely.

I hope you can join us this Thursday, Feb. 24 from 7:30-8:30 p.m. CST for our Live Inside Out Teleclass with my good friend Dianna Amorde on "Love the One You're With ...That's You! Finding Self-Acceptance." Learn more here.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:
>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our 3/4 Lost Pines Women's Self-Renewal Retreat coming up soon (early bird rate ends 2/25; this is our last Texas retreat for a while)
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses and read my February Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photos: Renee Peterson Trudeau, the Gulf of Mexico, February 2011.

I Choose Love

Twelve years ago, right before I got married, I vividly remember living in an apartment in central Austin with my husband-to-be and reading Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.

The book’s messages changed my life. The core theme that I think about everyday is there are only ever two choices in life: love or fear.

Everything we do is either motivated by love--which allows us to trust in the flow of life and expect good to come to us--or fear, which causes us to doubt, constrict and cut ourselves off from others. (Think about it—all expansive feelings are born from love and the scared or worried feelings can always be traced back to fear.)

I choose love.

I want to relax into the flow of life. I want to be open and receptive to those I come in contact with. I want to trust that “the Universe is conspiring in my favor,” and that the days and months ahead will be filled with many good things to come. I want to always feel like there is more than enough for everyone in every situation. I want to always remember that the more I love myself, the more I am able to love and have compassion for those around me. I want to have a soft and open heart.

Don’t you?

I attended a women's appreciation dinner tonight and each of us shared a favorite love poem. I explored bringing a favorite passage from Mary Oliver, Hafiz, Rumi, David Whyte and others, but I kept getting pulled back to the following famous passage from Marianne Williamson (below).

My dad gave this poem to me right before he died suddenly from a heart attack in 1996. I think his final words of wisdom were quite appropos and as I continue to expand into more self-love and self-acceptance daily, I hope I am able to inspire others to do the same. Happy Valentines Day--let your light shine.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most
frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is
nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure about you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same. As we are
liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.

Marianne Williamson

Photo: This 11x17 reminder is taped squarely on the front of our refrigerator. It helps me remember in some of my hardest moments--often parenting--that I choose love.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our 3/4 Lost Pines Retreat coming up soon!
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community; stop by and win a free Valentines Day Retreat package this week.
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses and read my February Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Love the One You're With

Love the one you’re with and that would be you. Bryon Katie, author

I’m about to overflow with insights and revelations. If I didn’t have so many deadlines this week, I’d grab my journal and pens, head for the nearest cave with a bag of pistachios and a jug of water and write, write, write!

This past week began with a solo personal planning retreat, followed by a screening of Race To Nowhere, then I led a beautiful Women’s Winter Self-Renewal Retreat and finally this weekend, I attended a Byron Katie seminar with two of my team members.

Just when I think it’s time to give up teaching the self-care message and move on, the Universe presents me with one case after another for why this work is so key and how crucial it is to our relationships (with self and others), our career paths, our emotional well-being and our spiritual development.

If I were holding an onion, self-care would be the outer layer, then a few layers deeper, I’d find self-acceptance. Then finally at the core: self-love. I see self-care as the doorway through which we must go to truly accept who we are, and ultimately, to begin to love ourselves.

I’ve been on the self-care journey for close to eleven years and I still have a long way to go.

Yet, reflecting on the gifts that have come to me from learning to love myself, I am grateful for where I am. (Friday night after returning from a long day at The Crossings, before my head hit my pillow, I entertained a bit of self-criticism: “Your energy was really low today, you weren’t as focused as usual,” followed by a compassionate reminder, “And you didn’t get any sleep on Thursday night and received an abundance of positive feedback about how meaningful the day was for those who attended.”) Self-love is definitely an ever-evolving process.

Practicing self-acceptance and self-love has helped me to:
-be more easy-going and to “go with the flow”
-see that little things stay little (my kid not picking up his toys) and don’t become front page news
-have more space around my thoughts and become more present
-be kinder and more compassionate to others (whether it’s a waitress, family member, car mechanic or business partner)
-feel and connect more deeply to God as opposed to experiencing God as a concept in my head
-react less and Live Inside Out more
-sense my connection to everything around me and how interwoven we all are

And most importantly, it’s helped me feel –more and more often--that everything is ok, no matter what happens. And ultimately, this ongoing sense of peace and well-being is what we’re all seeking, isn’t it?

Last night as I put my 8 year-old to bed, I played Long Time Sun for him (this version is from Snatam Kaur's Feeling Good Today kids CD). Whenever I hear it, I am flooded with feelings of peace and self-love. I hope he feels the same.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses and read my January Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: A retreat attendee enjoying the beautiful weather at Kripalu; join me April 29-May 1 in the Berkshire Mountains in MA at this amazing yoga and wellness center.

Letting Go

As I write the theme for this post in the subject line above, I can feel half my body applauding loudly and the other half saying, “Really?!”

Sitting at my desk at work right now surrounded by tax forms, to-do lists, contracts to review and pistachios--I’m juggling one of our cars being in the shop after a recent costly repair last month, my almost-nine-year-old in total disequilibrium (he confessed this morning he was taking “shots” of chocolate syrup from the fridge after his breakfast didn’t “cut it”), preparing to lead a teleclass this week with my brother, doing a TV interview tomorrow, managing hormonal ups and downs, responding to staff/clients requests, training 2 new staff members who started Monday and preparing for our Jan. 28th Winter Self-Renewal Retreat and several other events immediately following.

My theme for 2011 is playful (different than “playing” –which I do quite a bit).

This theme arose from my deep desire to really take both hands off the wheel and let go in all areas of my life.

I decided that for me, letting go completely would look like being “playful” at work, at home and in relationships. I’ll keep you posted how this unfolds in 2011!

So today, as I was driving back from yoga class, I asked myself what does letting go really look like? Today, it’s:

-Committing to keeping self-care at the top of my list, even on days like today, when I feel stretched way too thin
-Surrendering my relationships with my partner, child and extended family to Spirit—a source much wiser and larger than myself
-Trusting that I will listen, allow synchronicity to unfold and be guided exactly how best to use my talents, energy, time and resources to serve others
-Allowing myself to hit the “reset” button as often as I need to, and begin anew each day
-Remembering that I’m not alone and that asking for help allows me to release control and embrace “good is good enough”

I shudder to think how controlling I was in my twenties (I don’t think I’d want to be friends with her if we were to meet on the street today!).

I got a lot better in my thirties--having Jonah helped with this--and now at 45, I’m really ready to release the need to have things go my way. Because when things "look" like they're going my way, it's all a big illusion anyway. Isn’t it? (If you're in Austin, don't miss the opportunity to see Byron Katie Jan. 28-29. She taught me a lot about control.)

One of the quotes I love that's in The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal and always gets women laughing, is “For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the Universe.” Larry Eisenberg

Baby steps. Keep calm and carry on.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend my Jan. 28th Self-Renewal Retreat or another retreat/event
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Telelcasses and read my January Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. You can subscribe here.

Photo: One of my biggest teachers on the planet on the subject of playfulness: my younger brother Kert, a Qi Gong teacher. You can always count on Kert to find humor and silliness in EVERY situation! In this photo Kert and I (ages four and three) are discussing our next Life Balance Telelcass.

I Love My Body

I celebrated my 45th birthday over this past weekend. But I didn’t feel social (unusual for me).

I just felt a strong pull to nest, rest and reflect—read more—so much so that I cancelled my long-anticipated workshop with Shiva Rea and instead spent a good part of Sunday alone enjoying a massage, a hot aromatherapy bath and a long rest.

When I awoke I was overcome with gratitude for my sweet 45-year old body and was inspired to write a letter to my dear old friend.


Dear 45-year old body:

I love you. I really do. I’m sorry it has taken me so long to arrive here, but regardless, I have!

I appreciate you in so many ways.

-I love you radiant face that gets more interesting and playful the older you get (and fascinating neck--it seems as if you're developing a personality of your own!).
-I love you sweet soft belly just the way you are. And, I’m amazed by your ability to grow a child that is now almost up to my chin!
-I love you open, inviting and accepting smile (and thank you teeth for staying so cavity-free!).
-I adore you bright blue green eyes that are filled with a mixture of insight, depth and curiosity.
-I love you full sweet, strong upper arms that give great hugs, will never be willowy and were inherited from Grandma Harrison (so I’m told).
-I love you constantly changing, ever-evolving torso that has shifted through stages including: strong and sexy, pudgy and pouty, feminine and flirty, tired and disconnected and fluid and fabulous!
-I love you hands (Nonnie’s hands) and the way you have supported me in writing, painting, expressing myself musically, cooking and serving others.
-I love you strong, sexy legs and flexible hips that can move, balance and support me in dancing and doing yoga for hours.
-I love you rapidly changing, looks-different-every-day skin—in all of your various stages, colors, creases, patterns, spots and spring to summer styles and looks (I promise I’ll start wearing sun screen more often to protect you!).
-I love you amazing feet—hail to the feet! You’ve carried me for thousands of miles from Big Sur to Egypt, from Oaxaca to Ephesus and around Lady Bird Lake twice a week for the last twenty years.
-I love you sweet, healthy breasts that have helped me embrace my femininity and have brought me from maiden to motherhood to middle age (oh the stories you hold!).
-I love you sometimes cranky, but always lovable knees--especially the small crinkles that are just starting to crash the party and how they suddenly make their entrance when I do a downward dog.

Sweet body, I so appreciate how you house my soul and allow me to live fully, laugh often, embrace pleasure, express love to those around me and enjoy motherhood, marriage, traveling, dancing, hiking and wrestling with my 8 year old.

I am so grateful for your vibrancy, energy and overall health. I promise to continue to listen and respond to your needs and desires in the coming years. And above all, I will do my best to love you through all the changes and evolutions that are yet to come.

Much love and deep gratitude—your best friend, Renee

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like support for learning to love and accept yourself and begin to attune to your needs and desires? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, or visit our calendar to learn more about our upcoming January career workshops, retreats and events (including our free 1/20 teleclass).

We love to hear from you. Please visit and join our Live Inside Out community to read how people are living more intentionally and share how you do the same.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Me and my shadow at Pedernales State Park, December 2010.

What Would Your Wise Self Say?

I am the oldest of seven children and at the ripe old age of 44, the matriarch of our family. (My parents died suddenly in their fifties, all our grandparents have passed and we have no living aunts or uncles.)

Out of the six of us who are living, only two of us are married and I’m the only one who has had a child.

Next year several of my siblings will be marking major life transitions and as I observe how they navigate their journeys and move closer to emotional health and well-being, it makes me pause and reflect on what I needed—or wished I could have heard—when I was their age.

If I was sitting across from her now, here is what I would say to my sweet thirty-year old self:

Dearest Renee:

• Your work is to remember who you *really* are. Who you are is not defined by your family history or the pains or tragedies you experienced growing up.
• Your parents loved in the best way they could. Moving into compassion for them can bring you to a place of liberation.
• The ability to feel grateful is one of the biggest gifts we have been given. Every morning, take a few minutes to express your gratitude for the simple things in your life.
• The simpler your life is, the happier you are. Your sense of joy and satisfaction are not reliant on what you have or your physical surroundings. Ever.
• Your job is to keep opening and softening your heart: to people, to new experiences and to the healing power of nature and movement (yoga, dance, hiking).
• Moment to moment, there are only two choices: love or fear. Which will you choose? Every interaction is motivated by one of these states of being.
• What is it that you *must* do? After you know this, give your heart wholly and completely to this and “feel the fear but do it anyway.”
• Know your portals for healing: music? Movement? Nature? Dance? Writing? Travel? Drawing? Determine what feeds you and keep doing these things. Every day.
• Self-knowledge and self-acceptance are the doors to freedom and peace. Don’t be afraid to become very acquainted with your fears, dreams, personality, self-limiting beliefs, strengths, shadow and brilliance. Love ALL of who you are.
• Your ordinary self is enough—you don’t need to do or be for anyone.
• Reach out and ask for help. There is never any reason to go it alone. We were designed to be inter-dependent. Cultivating this ability is key to your emotional health.
• Go within for the answers. Don’t be afraid of becoming very still. You already have ALL the answers within you. You just have to get quiet enough to hear them.
• Release “should’s” and become comfortable saying “no” with grace and ease. And, watch the Universe respond with delight in delivering to you what you *really* want, not what the media or society dictates you *should* want!
• Listen to your body. An uneasy stomach, tight shoulders or a clenched chest is your body talking to you. Listen to and respond to this amazing internal GPS system.
• Allow yourself to be vulnerable and let people see your fragility as well as your strength. Sharing this side of yourself is transformative and freeing.
• Service to others is your path of practice. But doing this in a way that feeds you rather than drains you, is your life’s work.

With deepest love and compassion—your wise self

If you wrote a letter to your thirty-something (or twenty something) year old self, from your wise self, what would it say?

A big part of my journey to balance and peace has been learning to cultivate a deep sense of compassion for self and knowing I’m doing the best I can, wherever I am on my journey. (And in my thirties, this journey definitely felt like a rollercoaster ride!)

Blessings to my amazing siblings as they continue on their path to self-acceptance and begin the next phase of their lives. I hope they occasionally get quiet enough to hear the whispers of my parent’s wisdom in their hearts, whenever they feel alone or unsure about what’s next.

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can cultivate more self-acceptance and tap into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, join us Nov. 17th for our FREE Live Inside Out class via telephone. Sign up here! And, view all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. St. Francis of Assisi in a garden in Boston's North End, the city's oldest residential community, where people have lived continuously since it was settled in the 1630s. St. Francis was one of my father's favorite spiritual teachers.

Loving Kindness

Every Monday morning, I send out a quick work/life effectiveness tip to our seven-person team. Most of us work virtually and we’re spread out across three states. So, I do many things to keep us all feeling connected.

These amazing women support our clients, Personal Renewal Group Facilitators, career/life balance programs and all Career Strategists and Renee Trudeau & Associates initiatives. They work daily with women and families around the world.

I had planned to share a powerful letter on my blog today that I wrote to my 35-year old self last night, but decided instead to share the message I sent to my team this morning and save the letter for next week. Here it is. I hope it might invite you to pause before you begin your day.

Dear RTA Team:

I woke up this a.m. with a funky stomach and slight headache (I think some roasted turkey that had been sitting out too long at a party was to blame) and began feeling some overwhelm creeping in as I looked at my list of goals for today.

I have a full week—prepping for our Reconnecting with Who You Are class via telephone on Thursday evening, several writing deadlines and projects due tomorrow, lots of conference calls/ meetings and several new entrepreneur clients to support this week.

But instead of succumbing to the feeling that I was behind and needed to push harder, I remembered the wonderful gifts that come from loving kindness--to self. So, I am moving slow this morning, drinking some wonderful Detox Yogi tea, tweaking my schedule a bit and trusting in the knowledge that when I am kind to my body/spirit, the Universe supports me. And, I get MORE done (rather than less!).

Try it (or at least, experiment with this idea). More on this theme from my newsletter Are You Kind to Yourself?

Take it easy and before you begin your day, check in with your body, mind and spirit. What do you need to feel nourished on the inside as well as the outside today?

Take good care. I look forward to exploring this theme more deeply with you at our upcoming October self-renewal retreat--Renee

AN INVITATION: Interested in learning how you can experience more loving kindness towards yourself and tap into the power of self-care? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circles, signing up for our FREE September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are or attending our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings (early bird rate ends September 16th).

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Painting: Mara Friedman