I Want To Be Free From ...

Last night we gathered with a small group of friends for a Freedom Fest.

No fireworks, hot dogs or Tchaikovsky.

Instead, we enjoyed a lively international potluck (each person brought a dish from a favorite trip they’ve taken) and we asked our guests to bring one thing they wanted to be “free from” this summer: a habit, a worry, a situation, a concern, etc.

Curious who the most popular unwanted house guests were? Anxiety and worry, debt, overwhelm, fear about the future, taking on other people’s “stuff,” resistance to self-care, obligation, and pain and suffering were just a few that gathered around our table.

Originally, when I sat with the question, “What do I want to be free from?” what first came to mind, was email (like many, I’m trying to tame the email dragon).

But as I peeled away the layers of the onion and went even deeper, I realized that all of my busy-ness is caused by the need to produce or create.

We all have this drive and there are positive and negative aspects to this ingrained behavior, but some of us are in “over-drive” when it comes to creating and bringing things to fruition (even if it’s for a good cause, for family, in the name of service/healing/world peace or to create community and foster connection). There are many noble reasons to get busy, but even so--sometimes it all becomes too much.

During the soiree, we passed around a basket of freedom questions: What would happen if I was free from ____________? When was a time I felt most free? What does being free mean to me? What would feeling free at work (or in my marriage) look like? and heard some fascinating perspectives around the theme of “breaking free.”

Before we all said goodnight, we wrote down all the things we wanted to be free from and burned these outside in a clay pot as a symbolic release.

All morning long, I’ve been thinking about the theme of “freedom” and keep coming back to the realization that what we all want most is inner freedom. Freedom from our stressful thinking. From our own reoccurring negative thoughts. We want more interior space. We’re tired of living in a shanty with our own fears and insecurities. We want to live in a mansion---a wide open space where we roam free, react less and respond more. And can breathe. Deep, long, spacious breaths.

Interior freedom. Ahhhhh. Yes, I want to experience more of that for sure.

And, right now, the only way I know how to taste this is to meditate each day—-no matter what.

Dropping into stillness, staying with my breath. Surrendering to the present moment. Because even when my 20 minute sit feels like watching a race car circle madly around a track, I still finish feeling better than when I started. And more and more often, my interior space feels more like somewhere I’d want to actually hang out--somewhere I’d like to live.

At the last minute, we found someone to watch our son this morning and my husband was able to join me for a 9:00 a.m. yoga class. At the end of savasana, the thought appeared in my head, "What am I already free from that I'm not seeing?"

I don't think this freedom theme is ready to depart. I'll be sitting with this new question this week.

Namaste.

P.S. I'm out on a writing sabbatical this summer and we're surveying the Emotional and Spiritual Health of Families for my new writing project. If you have 5 minutes to tell me about your family culture, I’d love to get your input (and feel free to share with friends/lists): http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RXZ88GR

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop, including our July 29th Career Strategy Workshop: Find a Fit, Create a Plan, Love Your Work in Austin
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Aug. 25 class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: This sweet guy was swimming in a creek on the Barton Creek greenbelt. My friend, son and I loved watching him dive in the water, enjoying the wide open space.

A Different Way

In fall 2008 I was nuts.

Launching my first book, coordinating our global Personal Renewal Group program and running two coaching/consulting businesses was eating my lunch.

I felt like I was in the middle of a tug of war (with each of my businesses at opposite ends), and, it was a no-win scenario.

Every day in my meditation/prayer time, I would ask, “Help me. I desire to see this in a new light. I desire to work in a new way.” And, finally—after a lot of inner work—I did have a breakthrough, a release, and I breathed and all was well again. Like most big shifts, it came from “how I chose to see the situation,” rather than an actual change in the situation itself!

Well, round two. I’m back again. And, while I’m really content with most aspects of my life and many would say I’ve done a decent, maybe even good job of balancing my work demands and family/personal needs, this period of unplugging* has shown me in a few short days that things need to change: I desire an even slower, simpler life and work pace. And, I desire to spend even less time online.

I just wrote about the concept of going with the flow in my recent newsletter (read more). And while I believe and live this principle, I’m realizing that there are degrees of going with the flow ... there’s going for a Sunday drive with the windows rolled down, your hair blowing in the wind and an open mind about where the road may take you ... and then, there is taking your hands off the wheel.

Trusting, releasing and surrendering at such a high level (to God or the Universe), that going with the flow actually begins to look like not driving at all!

Does this sound crazy? Am I making any sense?

Years ago I was working with some brilliant consultants/friends on a product launch.

They had lined up some important meetings in New York with three key decision makers and felt strongly we needed to head to the east coast to meet them right away. My gut was screaming (literally—I was throwing up in the bathroom) that the timing was not right, we were pushing too hard and we needed to wait. But I wanted to honor their expertise, and after three cancelled and flights due to a snowstorm we finally arrived in the big apple.

Taking to the receptionist in a big, sterile office building downtown the following day, we were informed that Janet, our 1:00 had just left to go home with a stomach virus (and no, they didn’t care that we had flown there to meet her from Austin).

Our next meeting with the head of a powerful media group went well—but we found out shortly after our return home, that her father passed away the day after we left and she would be leaving her company for an extended sabbatical. And while these meetings weren’t fruitful, I am still grateful today for this experience and the huge reminder to always, always listen to my inner knowing, and to pay close attention when things are not flowing.

We teach what we need to learn. And coming into balance has been a life-long struggle for me. It’s also something I’m really dedicated to. (Read Is Ms. Balance Out of Balance?)

I remember a therapist asking me in my twenties as I sat on her flowered, aging couch, “Your emotional well-being is of paramount importance; there’s nothing that matters more. What decisions are you willing to make to preserve this?”

I think she’d be happy to see me now. And to witness my willingness to do anything and everything to not only maintain, but to enhance and evolve my sense of peace and well-being, both inside and out.

So back to the meditation cushion for me. And while I don’t have a clue as to what this new way of working and living will look like in the fall, I know my desire for more ease and flow is strong (overwhelmingly so). And I trust—like always—the answer will come. In its own good time.

*From June 6-July 28, I am officially unplugged and out of the office to work on a new writing project. I’ll still be blogging, but only every two weeks. But hop on over to Live Inside Out for daily dialogue on how to live more intentionally.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop, including our July 29th Career Strategy Workshop: Find a Fit, Create a Plan, Love Your Work in Austin
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Aug. 25 class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Me in my favorite hammock chair. I'm writing an outline for a new project and enjoying a banana-coconut smoothie while listening to the morning doves and drinking in the thousand shades of green in our backyard. I could get used to starting my day like this!

Getting Quiet

Last week while working with a coaching client on some big life decisions, the topic came up about why we make excuses to stay busy and avoid quiet time.

Some call this prayer, meditation or reflection—in essence, it’s time to be alone in stillness and to connect to our inner wisdom, our higher power or as one of my clients says—our internal “GPS system.”

I tend to be a “choose your own path, do what works for you” kind of coach, but as I get older, I am telling my clients (particularly those in transition) that if they do nothing else, carving out time for reflection each morning—when our minds are the least busy—is not only important, it’s essential. I wrote about this last spring in my newsletter in Five Minutes a Day to Peace and Well-Being.

This past weekend my husband and I had a rare 24 hours to ourselves while my son visited his aunt and uncle. There were a lot of things we wanted to accomplish during our time alone (some important household projects, luxuriating in the feeling that “we could do anything we wanted!!” and definitely a fun night out), but I also wanted to take advantage of the rare opportunity to meditate together Sunday morning. If you've ever meditated or prayed with others, you know how powerful this experience can be.

There are many wonderful teachers that talk about the power of stillness and taking time to connect with the Divine (or God, your higher power, etc.)—meditation guru John Kabat-Zinn, founder of centering prayer Father Thomas Keating, Omega Institute founder Elizabeth Lesser and author/teacher Marianne Williamson are some of my favorite guides around this topic.

For me the difference between days I meditate and days I don’t, feels like the difference between walking through my day barefoot versus wearing shoes.

When I meditate in the morning—whether it’s 5 minutes in the car after dropping my son at school or 20 minutes before I start my work day—I feel grounded, protected, more at ease with life, I roll with changes, I’m more centered and little things don’t turn into big things quite so easily.

When I don’t meditate—when I enter my day and the world, barefoot—I am more fragile, and when I step on pebbles, I get irritated more easily. I'm also not as trusting and when I encounter unexpected events on my path--which we always do-- I’m more easily thrown off course.

For years, I fought this idea of a morning ritual, creating dedicated time every day to get quiet before entering the world. “It’s too hard when you’re a parent, I’m too busy, I’ll do it later in the day, my husband won’t join me, I don’t have ‘the right’ space in my home and my favorite—does it really make a difference?” are all the excuses that would rattle around in my head, justifying my position to postpone what I now know to be the single most important part of my day.

You might try starting your day with a meditation as an “experiment” ….. even just taking 5 minutes each morning to feel what you’re grateful for before you start your work day.

I believe that within the stillness lie the answers to all our questions. We just have to get quiet enough to hear them.

P.S. If you’re a parent, you might want to check out my chapter on Parenting as a Spiritual Journey from The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal. It ties into this theme. I did not formally meditate regularly and consistently until about year ago. It has definitely had a huge impact on how I parent, among other things. I just need to remember this and not self-sabotage by blowing it off.