Staying Slow When Everything's Fast

Last Friday evening I became aware I was allowing someone I was working with to have too much say over how I was feeling. I was giving this relationship--a relatively new one--too much weight, too much power. And I didn't like how this was making me feel: rushed, speeded up and unsettled.

Walking out of yoga the next day after a calm savasana (deep relaxation), I was immediately assaulted by cars aggressively vying for parking spaces, a blaring radio, construction noises and the ringing of my cell phone. It seemed everyone and everything around was was chanting, "speed up, speed up!"  I slapped the off button on my car, sat quietly in the searing heat for a few minutes and heard a quiet voice ask, "Are you allowing others or circumstances to dictate the speed at which you live and move ... or are you in charge of your internal speed?"

Good question.

Sometimes I forget that I'm in charge of my internal state. I'm not a leaf being tossed about by the rain ...or the wind ...or the weather du jour. Even when everything around me gets crazy busy, I can choose how I want to "be." 

The other day after a heated argument with my ten year-old about screen time, he got up and walked out the front door. A few minutes later, he returned. He told me later he had gone outside to "take ten deep breaths and re-set." (I almost did a back flip with glee upon hearing this!)  He shared this was not the kind of day he wanted to have and he didn't want what was happening between us to set the course for the rest of his weekend. And for how he felt.

I have a feeling that this reminder to pay attention to my internal speed-- is preparing me for the upcoming fall (I'll be training an entirely new support team and preparing for a book launch on top of my other work). Is it possible in the midst of a lot of activity to not get swept up by what's going on around us? Is it conceivable that we can choose the speed at which we move through our day--even when everyone and everything around us is going 90 to nothing?  (Parents have to do this daily!)

Yep, it's possible. I've experienced it--in fact, many times. For me it always comes down to the question, "How Bad do You Want to Feel Good?" (read more). How important is my emotional well-being--feeling grounded and calm--and what am I willing to do to make this a priority?

Sometimes when my home or professional life are in utter chaos, an image of my mom sitting on our worn piano bench playing classical guitar in the middle of our large sunny kitchen comes flooding back. I can see my four brothers running madly around her, flashes of blue capes and slingshots whizzing by ...while she plays Bach, trying to find her center and attempting to slow down while everything around her is speeding up.

I plan to call on this image frequently as I move mindfully into the coming months and am pulling out my calendar right now to block out 8 hours for a personal retreat in late summer to help me anchor so I can stay slow when everything gets fast.

P.S. Have a background in PR/Communications and interested in playing with our team this fall/spring? Learn more about our Part-Time PR Coordinator Position.

INVITE: Interested in exploring how to stay calm in the eye of the storm and attune and respond to your true needs and desires? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in Massachusetts! We'd love to have you continue this conversation with us in our upcoming women's circle.
 
I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

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Photo at top: The beautiful tall, still, graceful pelicans of Port Aransas, TX residing over the sometimes calm, sometimes turbulent sea.

I Want To Be Free From ...

Last night we gathered with a small group of friends for a Freedom Fest.

No fireworks, hot dogs or Tchaikovsky.

Instead, we enjoyed a lively international potluck (each person brought a dish from a favorite trip they’ve taken) and we asked our guests to bring one thing they wanted to be “free from” this summer: a habit, a worry, a situation, a concern, etc.

Curious who the most popular unwanted house guests were? Anxiety and worry, debt, overwhelm, fear about the future, taking on other people’s “stuff,” resistance to self-care, obligation, and pain and suffering were just a few that gathered around our table.

Originally, when I sat with the question, “What do I want to be free from?” what first came to mind, was email (like many, I’m trying to tame the email dragon).

But as I peeled away the layers of the onion and went even deeper, I realized that all of my busy-ness is caused by the need to produce or create.

We all have this drive and there are positive and negative aspects to this ingrained behavior, but some of us are in “over-drive” when it comes to creating and bringing things to fruition (even if it’s for a good cause, for family, in the name of service/healing/world peace or to create community and foster connection). There are many noble reasons to get busy, but even so--sometimes it all becomes too much.

During the soiree, we passed around a basket of freedom questions: What would happen if I was free from ____________? When was a time I felt most free? What does being free mean to me? What would feeling free at work (or in my marriage) look like? and heard some fascinating perspectives around the theme of “breaking free.”

Before we all said goodnight, we wrote down all the things we wanted to be free from and burned these outside in a clay pot as a symbolic release.

All morning long, I’ve been thinking about the theme of “freedom” and keep coming back to the realization that what we all want most is inner freedom. Freedom from our stressful thinking. From our own reoccurring negative thoughts. We want more interior space. We’re tired of living in a shanty with our own fears and insecurities. We want to live in a mansion---a wide open space where we roam free, react less and respond more. And can breathe. Deep, long, spacious breaths.

Interior freedom. Ahhhhh. Yes, I want to experience more of that for sure.

And, right now, the only way I know how to taste this is to meditate each day—-no matter what.

Dropping into stillness, staying with my breath. Surrendering to the present moment. Because even when my 20 minute sit feels like watching a race car circle madly around a track, I still finish feeling better than when I started. And more and more often, my interior space feels more like somewhere I’d want to actually hang out--somewhere I’d like to live.

At the last minute, we found someone to watch our son this morning and my husband was able to join me for a 9:00 a.m. yoga class. At the end of savasana, the thought appeared in my head, "What am I already free from that I'm not seeing?"

I don't think this freedom theme is ready to depart. I'll be sitting with this new question this week.

Namaste.

P.S. I'm out on a writing sabbatical this summer and we're surveying the Emotional and Spiritual Health of Families for my new writing project. If you have 5 minutes to tell me about your family culture, I’d love to get your input (and feel free to share with friends/lists): http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RXZ88GR

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop, including our July 29th Career Strategy Workshop: Find a Fit, Create a Plan, Love Your Work in Austin
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Aug. 25 class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: This sweet guy was swimming in a creek on the Barton Creek greenbelt. My friend, son and I loved watching him dive in the water, enjoying the wide open space.