Nourishment

The morning after Christmas Day, my husband, son and I felt a little sluggish. We needed some fuel.

So after visiting with out-of-town guests, we did some yoga at home, hit the greenbelt for a long hike and then went to a family Kirtan at the Amala Foundation (thanks Austin Big Heart Yoga and friends for organizing—we loved it!). And at the end of the day, we felt good. And nourished.

Last night, my husband and I were sitting in front of the fire remembering not-so-distant holidays where overindulgence, overspending, overeating, oversleeping and other not-so-healthy patterns were the norm. There’s nothing wrong with indulging every once in a while, but invariably these slugfest sprees were followed by periods of remorse, guilt and often low moods.

As a writer/teacher who is fascinated by how we create more harmony and balance in our lives, I know it’s natural to regularly swing in and out of equilibrium. But what I’m noticing more often is that when I’m really in tune with my needs on a *deeper* level—when I’m focused on what will nourish me physically, emotionally and spiritually—I have less of a desire to over-indulge. And the magnetic pull towards things that will elevate my mood and overall well-being is much stronger.

The New World Dictionary says, to nourish means to feed or sustain with substances that promote life and growth.

As my son gets older and we are beginning to look at how we want to allocate our resources (money/time/energy), I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my parents and how they “fed” my siblings and me.

I don’t know how they did it (other than forgo expensive vacations and a lot of “stuff”) but growing up, all seven of us attended Montessori school, took a wide variety of music lessons, participated in art/painting/pottery classes and were given “carte blanche” when it came to purchasing books or making weekly trips to the library.

Even though my parents taught me very little about self-care or how to enhance my emotional well-being, they provided us nourishment through feeding us creative, mind-opening educations, providing us with constant exposure to the arts/culture and offering many opportunities for creative expression and intellectual stimulation (something I’ve only recently begun to fully appreciate).

I think how we choose to nourish ourselves, our families and those close to us, says a lot about our relationship to ourselves and what we value most. My personal experience has been that the kinder, more loving and more accepting I am of myself, the more nutrient-rich my “diet” becomes.

I wonder how my son will describe how we “fed” him years from now? I can only hope it was a balanced diet and that we taught him to seek out what he truly needs. With the occasional side of french fries every now and again.

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like support for identifying what truly nourishes you and how you can begin to attune to your needs and desires? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, or visit our calendar to learn more about our upcoming January retreats, workshops and events.

We love to hear from you. Please visit and join our Live Inside Out community to read how people are living more intentionally and share how you do the same.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Tamari-glazed green beans with toasted almonds, crispy tofu and brown rice: our lunch today and one of our family's favorite nurturing and nourishing meals.

Exquisite Self-Care

Last night we had some friends over for dinner and I ate something that I’ve been off of for about six weeks. And, it made me feel like crap. My husband would say—since my dairy and wheat intolerances manifest as emotional disequilibrium---I acted like crap, too!

This morning I woke up really thinking about the concept of exquisite self care. Not plain, vanilla, just doing the basics to feel good self-care (although this is essential). But really discerning, attuning and responding to my deepest needs and desires. Treating myself with the utmost care, love and tenderness.

For me this week, this would look like:

-abstaining from wheat and dairy and making sure my diet is diverse, nutrient/energy rich, delicious and I stay very hydrated

-attending my good friend’s Daring Divas dance class and connecting with the women in this vibrant community---no matter how busy my schedule looks

-appreciating and supporting my partner and taking time to be present with him/his challenges (this always comes back to me a hundred fold!)

-going to bed NO MATTER WHAT by 9:30 p.m. on the weeknights (after 44 years, I’ve finally figured out my very best sleep happens before midnight)

-getting outside to enjoy the amazing 71 degree weather at the park with my son, even though I’ve got mounds of work at the office (no worries, the important stuff always gets done)

-paying attention to my personal rhythms, ebbs and flows—trusting that I will be guided to know how/when/where to best take action at work and at home

-returning the expensive, but uncomfortable sheets I bought this past summer that don’t support me in having optimal sleep (I know, Princess and the Pea, but sleep is really key for me!)

My husband and son are going on a camping trip this weekend. Pause. I think I hear some whoops from the parents who know how delicious and rare it is to have time alone in your house when your beloved family is away!

In the past, my usual MO would have been to rush into planning mode—filling all my waking hours with lunches, walks, get-togethers and non-stop social activities with friends. But today, I’m really challenging myself to slow down. To go inward and ask, “What would exquisite self-care look and feel like this weekend?” And who knows what the response will be.

It might look like cleaning out my garage, sitting for a couple of hours and coloring mandalas, blasting some blues and dancing in my living room, going on a vigorous walk/run or sitting on my back porch swing soaking up the decadence of unscheduled time. I have no idea.

But, I do plan on choosing how I spend this time very intentionally. Really reveling in this concept of what exquisite self-care might look and feel like to me.

I’ve learned that not only is self-care crucial to our well-being, to our sustenance, to feeling “alive”—more and more, it’s become my spiritual practice.

Because I find that when I listen and respond to the whispers in my heart about what I most need to love, nurture and nourish my physical and emotional well-being, I feel more connected to my Source, to God. Often, if I listen closely, it’s as if I can hear an invisible voice cheering me on, saying, “Yes, this is how you’re supposed to live--how you were intended to live. You are worthy and deserving of this level of care. And, when you honor and love yourself, you honor and love me, your Source.”

And I believe that sense of interconnectedness is what most of us live for. I know it is for me.

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like to experience connection and community and receive support from like-minded women? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our November 5th One-Day Reflect, Reclaim, Re-Balance Women's One-Day Self-Renewal Retreat and our FREE October 14th Live Inside Out teleclass on Being More Present and Remembering What Matters.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and read how people are living more intentionally.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: A desert flower in an oasis in Big Bend National Park, one of the places my soul gets nourished.

Being Present

I love it when the Universe calls me up to the plate, puts a bat in my hands, throws me a big old curve ball and sees how I’m going to react.

I’m really getting the opportunity to practice what I preach right now.

My husband was layed off two weeks ago (he’s doing great, thanks for all your prayers, support and leads for software quality assurance jobs) and is focusing on his job search. While he is feeling calm, excited for what’s next and hopeful about finding something he loves that is close to our home, I am feeling a bit anxious (I had big plans for this summer that may have to change—read more).

I have a deep knowingness that everything will unfold for the best, but I’m finding myself having a hard time staying present.

Summer is my favorite time of year—I love the fresh peaches and basil, I love taking long/cold plunges at Deep Eddy, I love reading, reading and more reading and I love enjoying a slower pace with my family.

I don’t want to give this up and am very mindful that if I allow myself to be preoccupied with worry or go into “the spin cycle” around finances, summer will pass me by and I’ll wake up on Labor Day, having missed some of the best days of the year!

So my intention moving forward is to pause frequently, to enjoy this wonderful, special time of year in Central Texas, to take time to make blueberry-banana smoothies on a stick (my 8 year-old's newest invention) and roasted veggie pizzas, to enjoy lazy, evening neighborhood walks with friends/family, to relish swimming in Texas' many wonderful natural springs and to remember that just because life has thrown us a curve ball, doesn’t mean we have to step out of the game.

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like to learn strategies for being more present and slowing down? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE June 17th Live Inside Out teleclass for couples on Staying Connected to Your Partner.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My son and I take a closer look at a small, sweet frog at Hamilton Pool while on a hike.

Unplugged

This past weekend I led a Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings Spa and Resort for an amazing group of 32 women from around the U.S. It is deeply fulfilling work, but it also takes a lot of energy to “hold the space” for people as they move towards and begin to create the life/career they desire.

So, yesterday, I gave myself the gift of a day off for rest and completely unplugged. No laptop, no cell phone, no email, no phone calls, no responses to requests for help.

I began the day meeting a friend down on Town Lake (a beautiful lake that runs through the center of downtown Austin) for my favorite walk which takes me to the quieter, less populated area of the trail where I also get to see a lot of wildlife—bats, herons, swans, ducks, squirrels, cranes. The weather was amazing and it felt so good to not have to rush back to conference calls or meetings and to really slow down and soak up my surroundings.

Afterwards I asked my body what it needed and then went to Whole Foods (the “mother ship” is located in Austin) and picked up some amazing ripe mangos, sweet strawberries, huge creamy avocados and some brown rice California rolls—yum.

I ended up spending a long time in my beautiful backyard, eating mangos in the hammock, smelling herbs, listening to the birds, picking weeds and just sitting on the rocks around our beautiful water fountain doing … nothing.

Later, I headed upstairs and took a luxurious nap, did some journaling and drawing, pulled out some of the exercises I did at my recent writing/movement retreat and, had some really interesting ah-has (I love looking at deep inner work months or years later and harvesting new insights).

For dinner, I cooked an amazingly yummy broccoli/ginger/crispy tofu stir fry for my family and then went for a lazy walk in our neighborhood at dusk with a dear friend.

It felt like such a gift to really “untether” from the digital world like this.

Usually my days are filled with constant demands for my energy, time, talents and voice and so often this requires a lot of time online.

Last night, I reflected on the gifts that came to me from “unplugging,” including:
• physiologically I could feel my heart beat and blood pressure drop and slow way down
• I was more observant and connected to how things smelled, tasted, sounded, felt
• I was much more present with and attuned to my family Monday evening
• I felt more connected to my feminine or “yin” energy around receiving and allowing and less driven by my masculine or “yang” energy to produce, do, or create outcome (we all--men and women-have both energies)
• I could feel really feel the subtleties of how healing and restorative it is for me to spend time in nature and drink in the sounds/sights/smells from the natural world
• I had immediate clarity around what is essential and nonessential for me to focus on in my work (and life!)
• I could sense how wonderful it felt to “mono-task” and how much my brain enjoyed not being overworked to the point of being ineffective
• I was more connected to my creativity and could feel the stirrings inside of me of something new that is preparing to come forth

I wonder if I spent one day a week “unplugged” how it would affect my work and life?

Could it actually make me more productive on a day-to-day basis? Hmmmm.

Maybe you should try to totally unplug for a day? If you do, let me know. I’d love to hear about your experience.

JOIN US FOR A RETREAT: Would you like support for learning how to focus on your physical/emotional/spiritual and mental self-care? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift!

Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE May 18th Live Inside Out teleclass on Reclaiming Adventure in Your Life and our June 11th The Empowered Entrepreneur workshop.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you slow down and unplug.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Video: the zen water fountain in our backyard is surrounded by three huge rocks and trees/plants--a perfect spot to do ... nothing.

Balancing Feelings

I lost my mom suddenly and unexpectedly in 2000—thirty days before my wedding day. She was 60 when she died. If she were still alive, today would have been her 70th birthday.

For some reason, this year in particular feels especially tender.

I’ve noticed as I get older (I’ll be 44 in a few weeks), that aging seems to soften how we view people and places. Things that used to bother us, don’t seem so important any more. The places where we feel the sharp, jagged edges of painful memories we thought we’d never be able to release—are beginning to blur and fade. Our hearts feel more open, more ready to forgive. We have more clarity around what really matters.

I used to struggle with all the mixed feelings I have around my mom (an amazing artist, musician and medical professional who battled depression most of her life); all the unfinished business we never got to work through.

But as I move into the second half of my life, I am more at ease around all my feelings related to my mom. Both the incredible explosive light and the dark, scary shadow. And the polarity (read more) and range of emotions I feel around her, doesn’t bother me so much anymore. I'm able to just be with this spectrum of feelings.

I believe we’re all doing the best we can at any given moment. How do I know what it felt like to walk her path?

If my mom were alive today, I think—and hope—she would have moved into a place of being more forgiving and gentle with herself. And that she’d be proud of me and my passion for helping other women find this place within themselves, as well.

Happy Birthday Juliana. I love you and thank you for the many gifts you shared with me. I would not being doing the work I am doing today were it not for you.

AN INVITATION: Interested in learning how to be more forgiving with yourself and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to listen to past Live Inside Out teleclasses or to sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My mom and dad leaving the hospital right after my birth, Houston, TX, 1966.

Stress=Living in the Future

Years ago I remember being in a workshop with Richard Carlson, a gifted teacher, father and the author of Slowing Down to the Speed of Life, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (It’s All Small Stuff) and many other best-selling titles.

He used to speak a lot about stress reduction and experiencing enhanced well-being through slowing down and living in the moment. Someone in the audience asked him how in the world he did this when last year he had presented at 200 conferences (do the math!).

His response, “I don’t think about where I have to be on Friday, next week or the following month. I simply take a taxi to the airport. I sit and wait for the plane. I get on the plane. I de-board. I take a taxi to the hotel. I present my talk. I go back to my room to sleep. I take a taxi back to the airport ......and on I go.”

His point being that he was able to maintain such an intense schedule because he didn’t dwell on the past or become overwhelmed by the future. He stayed in the present moment.

When we’re fully present. Fully here, right now. Aware of our breath and being in our bodies, there is no stress. (Try it.) It’s thinking about our insane to-do lists and everything that lies before us that throws us over the edge.

I take this lesson to heart today as I look at my incredibly too-full week of deadlines, meetings, events and personal/school obligations and remember Richard’s wise teaching.

And I breathe. And, move forward purposefully. Grateful to be doing work I love, serving others and knowing stress is really an inside-out job. A choice.

I know Richard, who passed away suddenly in 2006 a month after he endorsed my upcoming book, would smile if heard this. And would encourage all of us to slow down and trust that everything that’s really important will get done. But, it’s up to us how we choose to experience the journey.

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can live more in the present and tap into the power of self-care? Join us Oct.29 for our FREE Live Inside Out class via telephone. Sign up here! Or, learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. View all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. High plains of New Mexico. This beautiful plant clearly enjoyed soaking up the present moment as much as we did.

Are You “In Integrity” with Yourself?

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. Henry David Thoreau

Recently I attended a wellness conference with women from around the U.S. On our lunch break, I joined a group of women sitting outside on the grass. Most of the women were in their thirties and forties and married with kids.

When I joined the group, they were in the midst of discussing marital infidelity. A couple of the women shared they had recently had ongoing intimate online exchanges with ex-boyfriends and the “cyber dating” was heating up. The group was going back and forth on whether or not this was “cheating.” I sat and observed the discussion and reflected silently on this topic.

Suddenly, one of the women asked me what I thought. I paused for a long time. Finally, I shared that when I’m grappling with a question like this, I do an “inner check-in” and ask myself if I feel the action is “in integrity” with who I am? And 100% of the time, I get the answer right away.

The group got very quiet. Some nodded knowingly, as answers surfaced for them, as well.

Often if the issue I’m examining is really big and I want to make sure that my actions are in alignment, I’ll ask the following three questions:

What is my motivation for this action (truly)?
Am I acting from a place of fear or love?
Is this action reflective of my highest self?

I think for most of us “being in integrity with self” is often an hour to hour or day to day challenge. Or sometimes, we're so "asleep," we're not even aware we're out of alignment.

I’ve bumped up against a lot of people lately who are making choices based on fear. And, it’s challenged me to access my deepest compassion and to give others the benefit of the doubt. Because, ultimately, I believe we all want to be in balance, in alignment and “in integrity” with the highest and best in each of us.

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can reconnect with your highest self and tap into the power of self-care? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circlesor joining us Oct.29 for our FREE Live Inside Out class via telephone. Sign up here. View all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. Henry David Thoreau's headstone, Sleep Hollow Cemetery, Concord MA.

Extreme Self Care

After an intense period of back-to-back workshops and retreats, yesterday, I took an "extreme self care" day to rest and rejuvenate.

Being out of town (and having staff who had also been away with their families last week), left us all with a mountain of work. But, I wouldn't budge. This was my day and I was claiming it, no matter what!

I actually set aside this day on my calendar several weeks ago, knowing how full the month of October looked for me. I've found scheduling these dates in advance is the only way to make these mini-retreats possible.

An extreme self-care day is a stretch of time (preferably 8 hours, but 4 will do) where I'm completely devoted to nurturing my physical/mental/emotional/spiritual well-being. My only job is to become attuned to the needs of my body, mind and spirit--and then to nourish myself accordingly.

Hoh Rain Forest, WA Renee Peterson Trudeau

My day began by moving much slower in the morning, than I normally do (anyone who has kids can attest to how stressful mornings *can be*). I let my husband and son navigate breakfast and the search for homework, lunches and lost library books. I refused to feel rushed or check email and I really allowed myself to slow down and release the endless "to dos" that so often come knocking at our doors on Monday mornings.

After taking my son to school, I arrived at my yoga class extra early and sat in the quiet of my car, journaling. After yoga, I got a massage and then went to a nearby natural foods store where I picked up an absolutely decadent pear and a few other treats (I really focused on listening to what foods my body was telling me would truly nourish me). By doing so, I also got the news that I was dehydrated.

Afterwards, I headed home and took a long hot bath, then put on the softest, most comfortable clothes I could find. I considered riding my bike and then paused quietly to see how I felt. Tired. In need of rest. And I curled up in my favorite reading spot to finish the last of my delicious Amy Tan novel--not giving the stack of work-related or human potential books next to my nightstand a second thought.

This wonderful experience ended abruptly when I went to pick up my son from school at 2:45 p.m., but was nonetheless, well worth it. And a great reinforcement to me about the power of self-care. I was calmer and more relaxed with my family last night and entered my work week not feeling as overwhelmed as I have in the past with the "oh my god, I've been out of town forever and I don't know if I'll ever get caught up" feeling.

Is it time for you to schedule an extreme self-care day? What would it look like? How would you start your day? Would you move your body? What would you eat? Would you rest or sleep all day? What is the most decadent thing you could imagine doing (stay in your pajamas in bed all day and ordering take out!)? Would you completely unplug from phone/email/electronics all day? Would you stay in your home or go somewhere (I have a single girlfriend who travels a lot for work and often offers her beautiful, quiet home as a retreat getaway to her mom friends)?

Out of curiosity, I looked up the definition of rest. One I found was: the cessation of work, exertion, or activity.

So many of us have heard the popular phrase we're human beings, not human doings. Yet, the concept of "rest" is still foreign to many of us (it wasn't until I had my son that I started to get how beneficial this concept is for all of us--regardless of age!).

Maybe it's just me (an oldest child, recovering overachiever, perfectionist with controlling tendencies) that has a hard time knowing when to just stop and rest. Or maybe we could all benefit from a mass media campaign that counters the way-too-popular words " just do it" ? Hmmm. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one.

P.S. If this concept is new to you, you might want to check out the chapter on The Transformative Power of Self-Care from my book, you can go to www.ReneeTrudeau.com and download two free sample chapters from the right column of the home page.

Don't Believe Everything You Think

Photo: Cliffs of Moher, County Clare, Irleland, August 2007, Renee Trudeau

The two weeks before Thanksgiving were really stressful for me. I was feeling pulled in too many directions by work, had countless deadlines breathing down my back and I was feeling discouraged by the amount of time/resources I was putting into a project--that was only just getting off the ground. I felt overwhelmed by my inbox, requests from others for help and demands from family--I was cooked!

One of the things that most frustrated me about that crazy period was that I had lost perspective--and I knew it.

My thoughts were tiresome, stressful and repetitive. I could feel how "stuck" I was and all I could do was pray for a change in perspective.

Author/teacher Byron Katie (www.thework.com), says "An unquestioned mind is the world of suffering. There are no new stressful thoughts. They’re all recycled."

So true. I've always loved the saying "Don't believe everything you think." When I'm feeling stuck, I try to remember this phrase and not take myself--or my thinking--too seriously!

And, finally, clarity and relief did come (it always does in its own sweet time, doesn't it?).

After slowing down, going for a hike on the greenbelt with my family and releasing some of my self-imposed ideas about how things "should be going," I was able to finally ease up, relax and start living in the present: the only place we can be assured of true inner peace, right?

The photo I took above of the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland--a stunning sight--helps me gain perspective on my life. The vastness of the rock wall and ocean reminds me of how trivial my problem du jour really is and how essential it is that I trust in that which is greater than me.

Thank you God for the opportunity to--at any moment--change how we see things.