Can I Be Grateful for What's Not Going My Way?

Sunday morning I woke up excited and looking forward to attending my good friend’s community potluck and documentary viewing when I discovered the keys to my car were in the glove compartment of my locked car and my husband--who had the second set—was out for the morning with our son. Fully dressed, coconut honey-lime fruit salad in hand, I realized my morning plans had just taken a giant nosedive—I was going nowhere.

There have been many times in my life when I’ve perceived things were going “wrong” (not my way) and later it turned out they were exactly perfect. BUT the other day—in the middle of a giant funk---I wondered, where can I find gratitude for what’s not going my way right now.

Today, I’m feeling called to pause and gratefully acknowledge (with just the tiniest bit of resentment):

• the business systems within my organization that no longer work and are asking to be reformed
• on-the-job inefficiencies that make you feel as if you want to pull your hair out
• family and relationship struggles and miscommunication that seem unnecessary
• learning in a way that feels “hard” (you know what I mean)

Why am I celebrating these frustrations? Because even though the silver lining from these hardships has yet to be revealed, my greatest learning--and growth--has come from mistakes, because the pearls that have come to me from living in the unknown have changed my life, and because I know that the ability to “reset” and start each day fresh and new is a gift unto itself. These struggles are calling me to develop a level of discernment unlike any I’ve had before and offering me the chance to really step into new ways of being.

Am I dealing with some things that are uncomfortable, challenging and messy right now? Yep.  Am I open to the growth that may come from these? Yeah (at least I think so).

What about you? Are you watching old systems, structures or ways of being topple to the ground and beg to be re-imagined or rebuilt?  I thought so. We’re all drinking from the same well.

Sending us all lots of compassion and courage as we stretch into the highest versions of who we are over the next month. And the next time you have a flat tire or life throws you a real sucker punch, pause and see if you can find even the tiniest seed of gratitude in the middle of seeming disaster.

P.S. Self-employed, live in Texas and ready for a new way of being with your business? I have a couple of spots left for my 12/14 Envision, Align, Expand: 2013 Visioning Retreat.(ony offered twice a year!).
 
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Photo: a pumpkin cheesecake that didn't out as expected.

Stress=Living in the Future

Years ago I remember being in a workshop with Richard Carlson, a gifted teacher, father and the author of Slowing Down to the Speed of Life, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (It’s All Small Stuff) and many other best-selling titles.

He used to speak a lot about stress reduction and experiencing enhanced well-being through slowing down and living in the moment. Someone in the audience asked him how in the world he did this when last year he had presented at 200 conferences (do the math!).

His response, “I don’t think about where I have to be on Friday, next week or the following month. I simply take a taxi to the airport. I sit and wait for the plane. I get on the plane. I de-board. I take a taxi to the hotel. I present my talk. I go back to my room to sleep. I take a taxi back to the airport ......and on I go.”

His point being that he was able to maintain such an intense schedule because he didn’t dwell on the past or become overwhelmed by the future. He stayed in the present moment.

When we’re fully present. Fully here, right now. Aware of our breath and being in our bodies, there is no stress. (Try it.) It’s thinking about our insane to-do lists and everything that lies before us that throws us over the edge.

I take this lesson to heart today as I look at my incredibly too-full week of deadlines, meetings, events and personal/school obligations and remember Richard’s wise teaching.

And I breathe. And, move forward purposefully. Grateful to be doing work I love, serving others and knowing stress is really an inside-out job. A choice.

I know Richard, who passed away suddenly in 2006 a month after he endorsed my upcoming book, would smile if heard this. And would encourage all of us to slow down and trust that everything that’s really important will get done. But, it’s up to us how we choose to experience the journey.

AN INVITATION: Interested in how you can live more in the present and tap into the power of self-care? Join us Oct.29 for our FREE Live Inside Out class via telephone. Sign up here! Or, learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. View all upcoming events here.

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The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. High plains of New Mexico. This beautiful plant clearly enjoyed soaking up the present moment as much as we did.

It Is What It Is

This morning I woke up around 5:00 a.m. with a tight chest and my mind was whirring like a hamster on a wheel.

Late last month, my two amazing support team members both shared they are moving on to new opportunities—which I’m totally supportive of, but it’s still a huge transition. We’re in the middle of organizing 4 upcoming national events (one of them is on an international scale), I am training/hiring new interns and like many businesses, spring is typically our busiest time of year.

Then, my little one came in this morning and said “I can’t go to school mom, I’m sick.”

So I did what all busy entrepreneurs should do when overwhelm comes knocking at their door. I made my husband stay home with our child while I went to yoga. And I practiced being with my breath and accepting “What is.”

Spiritual teacher/author Byron Katie talks about the idea that suffering is optional.

She says suffering, pain, discomfort come from resisting “What is.”

I really resonate with the concept that our thinking—and I believe language—dictate our emotional state. So rather than feeling like I have mountains of work to do, I have the option of being grateful for the opportunity to do what I love, to help others and to have an amazing support network that steps forward time and time again to help out.

Hmm. Can we really change how we feel by changing how we see a situation?

I’m sure I’m going to move in/out of numerous emotional states over the next several weeks, but I’m going to be more vigilant about my thoughts and words. And, of course, keep being gentle with myself.

Resources: Check out my tips on 6 Ways to Tap Into Inner Peace for some ideas on how to anchor during these times of uncertainty. Or learn more about my Spring Self-Renewal Retreat for Women—we only have a few spots left. What an awesome Mother’s Day gift!

Video: While hiking in the Boquillas Canyon on my recent trip to Big Bend National Park with my son and husband, I was mesmerized by this tree branch stuck in the middle of the Rio Grande River, which divides Mexico and the U.S. It immediately made me think about the idea of resisting life, resisting “what is,” and how we can get stuck when we don't go with the flow.

LIVE INSIDE OUT Mother’s Day Celebration May 8-10th
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The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Busy-ness

Photos from Olympic National Forest, Washington State (Renee Peterson Trudeau)

We recently returned from our visit to the Olympic Peninsula in Washington state. The trip was wonderful in many ways --though not very relaxing (as those of you with young, very active kids know). But overall, I was really grateful for the opportunity to get away and be alone with my family.

The highlights were the stunning natural jewels (Cape Flattery, the Hoh Rainforest, Sol Duc Hot Springs, Hurricane Ridge, Dungeness Spit, wild raspberry picking--see my pics above) and the amazing local/organic fruits and vegetables we devoured throughout the trip. We also loved the log cabin we rented http://www.vrbo.com/184006 that sat on 40 acres and looked out on the Olympic mountains, a natural pond and fruit orchard. And, we really enjoyed the hot tub late at night, breathing in the cool 50-degree weather while stargazing into a black, black and oh-so quiet night.

Coming back and "re-entering" the world is always hard after you've had the opportunity to slow down to a more natural pace. And, it takes a lot of intention and awareness upon your re-entry to not get sucked into the "do, do do, go, go, go" that typifies the American lifestyle.

If you read my blog, you know how much I struggle with balancing "being' and doing" in the world and how important I consider this journey to be.

Lately, I'm hearing from more and more professionals in the field of well-being (ob-gyns, therapists, parent coaches, nutritionists, yoga/movement teachers) about how concerned they are with our high stress and anxiety levels, how hurried we always are and what this is doing to our bodies, minds, spirits, hearts and children. (This morning I saw my wonderful ob-gyn for my annual exam and she said lately the top two topics her clients keep bring up are "stress and sex." (Specifically the lack of sex in their marriages.)

We're busy. Very, very busy. I think, too busy.

This is affecting us physically in dramatically and life-altering ways such as increases in the rate of diabetes, heart-disease, strokes, depression, suicide and there are new medical findings that now believe stress actually causes 80-90% of all illnesses!

Being overly-busy, stressed and not present in our relationships is also taking its toll on us emotionally and with partners and children. And, when it comes to work--more and more studies are coming out about how counterproductive multitasking to the extreme is on our ability to deliver quality results on the job. (See my last blog post about how productive and creative I was this summer after slowing down.)

So where does this leave us?

It's easy to get overwhelmed when addressing this subject. So, I'm a big believer in starting with ourselves.

This week, the questions I'm asking are:

What day-to-day choices can I make to feel more grounded, relaxed, focused and live as authentically and intentionally as I can each day?

What daily, practices--such as prayer/meditation-- support me in starting each day feeling centered?

What self-care activities help keep me relaxed, calm and add spaciousness to my day (check out my book chapter on self care here: http://www.reneetrudeau.com/book/Transformative_Power_of_Self_Care.pdf)?

What can I say "no" to (professionally and personally)?

How can I support my husband and son in being less busy?

How can I not get sucked into other's "busy-ness" and constant sense of urgency and make sure I'm staying true to what's important to me?

What choices do I need to honor in order to create more expanses of unscheduled time in my life?

How about you? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. I'm sure we could all benefit from one another's ideas.

P.S. If you're wanting to slow down and be with other women who want to focus on their self-care and living more intentionally, consider joining us at The Crossings Sept. 26-28 for my Fall Self-Renewal Retreat. We have a couple of spots left and if there is a commuter option available, too: http://www.reneetrudeau.com/order/womensretreat.html.