Where Does Joy Come From?

"Joy springs from within; no one makes you joyous; you choose joyfulness." Unknown

Last Sunday at 11:45 a.m. I was finishing up facilitating a retreat for 55 amazing women at Kripalu Yoga & Wellness Center when my ten year old son--who had just flown in from Austin to visit his MA grandparents--appeared at the door. My heart exploded, a huge smile spilled across my face and I motioned for him to come sit beside me and join the circle of women. My entire body surged with JOY--I loved having my child there to witness and experience the profound nature of the work I do and to connect with him in this way!

This week, everywhere I turn I'm surrounded by quotes or teachings related to joy. Joy is "up" for me right now!

I remember a time when I used to think joy was corny, that it was something that happened to you. A fluke--like a butterfly landing on your arm. And when I felt it--I often shied from it's warmth and power (I recently heard author Brene Brown say that one of the most vulnerable places we can go is allowing ourselves to experience and express full-out joy).

I believe that joy is one of our greatest gifts and it lies in great reserves within us. We just have to allow ourselves to tap it, cultivate it, dig deep for it, nurture it and believe we're worthy of its grace--not just at birthday parties, "wins," or weddings, but all the time: driving to work, telling stories over dinner, waiting in line at the grocery store.

I'm passionate about helping men and women experience greater balance (read more) and emotional well-being in their everyday lives. As part of my work, I travel and lead workshops for women around the globe and am often saddened by how I often I hear participants share they feel that a joyful life is passing them by. They're at the buffet, but joy isn't on the menu (read more on a survey I did last summer on this topic).


They often ask, "How do I recapture joy?"

On the last day of our self-renewal retreat at Kripalu, we headed out to the majestic front lawn with its expansive view of the MA Berkshire mountains. The women took turn reading aloud pearls of wisdom that had surfaced for them over the weekend--insights from their "Wise Selves"--that part of them that holds the highest/best for their continued evolution and growth. After affirming each woman's truth, we headed back to our room and danced our wisdom so we could "lock" it into our bodies and carry it back home. While dancing, the joy and unabashed delight that swirled through the room was euphoric, contagious and heady-- like a perfume. Everyone in that room could feel that the waves of joy being unleashed were coming from inside of them. From their own Divine nature.  

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, "Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God." I couldn't agree more. Here's to more joy for us all this month. 

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this spring or hire Renee to create one for your group
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.
  

Photo: Fifty four beautiful women--mothers/daughters/girlfriends/colleagues/grandmothers/birthday girls-- ages twenty to seventy-five from around the globe joined us at Kripalu last weekend. We were blessed with gorgeous weather and stunning fall foliage.

I Choose Love ... Again

I vividly remember an afternoon fourteen years ago when I was living in an apartment in central Austin with my husband-to-be, curled up in front of the fireplace reading my dad's old, weathered copy of Return to Love by author/teacher Marianne Williamson. 

The book’s core message--that every moment and every day we're presented with two choices: to come from love or fear--landed in my body like an anchor of truth.

Marianne says that every thought, word and action is either motivated by love--which allows us to trust in the flow of life, connect with others and expect good to come to us--or fear, which causes us to doubt, constrict and cut ourselves off from others, made so much sense. 

I choose love.

I choose to relax into the flow of life. I choose to be open and receptive to those I come in contact with. I choose to trust that “things are working out for my highest and best” and that the days and months ahead will be filled with many good things to come. I choose to always feel as if there is more than enough for everyone all the time. I choose to remember that the more I love, accept and am kind to  myself, the more I am able to love and have compassion for those around me. And I choose to have an open, accessible heart.

I attended a dinner party and and each of were asked to bring and share a favorite love poem. I considered bringing a favorite passage from Mary Oliver, Hafiz, Rumi, David Whyte and others, but I kept getting pulled back to the following famous passage from Marianne Williamson.

My dad--who would have been 72 last Wednesday-- gave this poem to me right before he died from a heart attack in 1996. I think his final words of wisdom were intended to gestate and reverberate within me, before they rippled out into the world. As I grow, evolve and age, I find the more I own my power, let my light shine and let others see me live "full out,"---the more others feel comfortable doing the same. Thank you dad for this and the many gifts you gave me.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most
frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is
nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure about you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same. As we are
liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, author, Return to Love

INVITE: Want to learn more about the powerful I Choose Love message? Read on. And if you're Interested in receiving support for owning your power and choosing love over fear, join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Wellness.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this fall or spring
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: This daily reminder to choose love over fear is taped to the front of my fridge.  At left: Global l I Choose Love PSA: learn more.

Serving Up Self-Compassion

 

Yesterday I felt like I was swimming through mud.

I was feeling judgmental and self-critical and everywhere I turned, all I could see were barriers and road blocks.

During my morning meditation (the one thing that usually always cleans my "lens"), the negative thoughts kept coming, dancing across my radar like annoying contestants from The Price is Right.  It seemed relief was nowhere in sight!

My saving grace? I knew my thinking was off. At the same time that I was stewing in "not good enough" chowder, there was a level of discernment happening--thanks in large part to a presence coach I began working with almost 17 years ago that introduced me to the principles author/therapist Richard Carlson taught relating to thought and mood.

Even though I was having a hard time pulling myself out of this funk, I knew I was responsible for feeling yucky. I was the originator of these negative thoughts. These pesky, multiplying “tribbles” (remember these on Star Trek?) were having a field day at my expense. And yes, the quickest way to change my mood was to change my thinking, but yesterday morning, this task looked as daunting as climbing Mount Everest.

So I acknowledged where I was. I stopped trying to change things. And, I stepped back and looked at the big picture (I had been woken up at 3:00 a.m. by my husband's snoring, I was swamped at work and I was getting over a cold). I gave myself a break and reached out and asked for some support. I kept my expectations low around my work output.  I tried to laugh at myself (“You’ve got to be kidding ….you think I’m going to believe THAT?!). And I drank a tall glass of self-compassion as I sat with the  reminder that this too shall pass.Tomorrow is a new day.

A part of me--what I call our "Wise Self"--knew that this state of insanity was temporary, like clouds passing overhead. I am not my negative thoughts.I was just entertaining these unwanted house guests.

We're all guaranteed of one thing--the thoughts (good, bad and ugly)-- will keep coming. As long as we're human, we'll keep experiencing both high and low moods. And occasionally, when we're lucky, we'll get to watch our naysayer thoughts float on down the river while we wave from the banks. Or we can wrap ourselves in a big soft blanket of self-compassion and tenderness when instead, we're on the raft clinging tightly to them.
 
INVITE: Interested in learning how to cultivate self-compassion and be more accepting of where you are right now? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Wellness.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this fall or spring
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: One of our Self-Renewal Retreat attendees creating a piece of self-compassion heart art.

Sustainability ... for Self

The next twelve months will be a time of incredible growth and expansion for me--personally and professionally.

And sensing this, over the weekend, I woke up Sunday morning feeling stress and anxiety course through my body as I anticipated all of the travel and events, book-related deadlines and challenges and opportunities that come from supporting a team and business during  a time of extreme growth. 

I know some of the keys to enhancing peace in everyday life for me--and navigating unusually full times--are practicing living in the "now", being willing to embrace radical self-care, surrendering and remembering to balance being vs. doing.

And I practice these tools (as often as I can remember to do so!).

But I don't want to do "business as usual" this fall and spring--my two busiest times. I really desire to keep embracing a new way of being AND to make sure that I'm choosing support that will truly nourish and sustain me.

Sustainability is sometimes defined as the capacity to endure; the long-term maintenance of responsibility (and I would add: to self).

I don't want to just "survive" and make it through the next twelve months, I want to land on the other side of the river yes--wiser and more learned--but also replenished and nourished. I want to feel like I've been very, very kind to myself--and that when September 2013 arrrives, that I've arrived on new soil with fresh tools and perspectives. That I've come into a higher expression of who I am.

T.S. Eliot said,

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started 
And know the place for the first time.

So what will truly sustain--not just get me through--the next year? I'm still working on this list, but for now some of "musts" include:

• saying "no," more; conserving my energy
• tapping the counsel of wise ones (I just set up regular appointments for the next 3 months with my "presence coach") and make lots of time for friends
• doing a ton of yoga, dance, qi gong, walking and conscious movement
• planning some nature-infused weekend getaways NOW--that my family and I can look forward to for deep relaxation

Just saying out loud that I'm committed to reflecting on "sustainability for self" during this upcoming stretch--makes me feel better already.

I'm off to book a cabin in the Fort Davis, TX mountains for Thanksgiving weekend (they have some of the darkest skies in the United States); seeing thousands of stars at night always helps me put things in perspective and remember what truly matters most.
 
INVITE: Interested in learning how to live more intentionally and create sustainability for self? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in Massachusetts! Peak leaf turning time! I'd love to hold the space for you to rest, connect with your needs and desires--and hear what your Wise Self most wants you to know.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this fall or spring
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: September has always felt like a time of new beginnings for me--here's to doing it different and starting fresh.

Holding it Together is Overrated

I'm the oldest of seven, the product of overachievers, a hyper-competent, perpetual "woman who always has answers and knows where she's going," the go-to girl--the one who seems to always have it together. 

Lately I'm questioning how this affects me--what is the price I pay for stepping into this personae? Yes, I've come a long way, I've let a lot of perfectionist tendencies drop, am less controlling than before and am a big advocate for the "good is good enough" message--but what would it look like for me to be MORE vulnerable? To be less prepared, less polished, more messy and human than I have ever been before?

It takes a lot of energy to told it together. My yoga teacher Jenn shared a story about a photographer who shot Salvador Dali over a stretch of five minutes (with time-lapsed breaks in between). Seeing Dali go back and forth between "DALI!" and a tired, slightly slumped over normal guy in a chair was fascinating. It showed how much energy it took for the artist to be on stage, in personae--to "hold it together."

Two of my close friends are going through hard times (one may lose her house, the other is navigating a rocky divorce). We've been talking about how essential it is for them--for all of us-- to allow ourselves to come undone, feel our feelings, turn into puddles, ask for help and be vulnerable--in order to transform into who we're meant to be ... next. 
 
Author Brene Brown (The Gifts of Imperfection) says, "What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance we might think it’s because we admire perfection, but that’s not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are 'real' – we’re drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance."

I just returned with my son from a week at Omega Institute--nestled on 500 hilly acres in Rhinebeck, NY. It was amazing; he was in Architecture Camp for Kids while I Danced My Bliss. Towards the end of the week we dropped into a lunch session with singer/songwriter David Wilcox for some Music Medicine (short, original, spontaneous pieces written to soothe/inspire your heart and spirit). My son asked David for a song about "relaxing and feeling free," and what followed was one of most beautiful, heart-wrenching pieces of songwriting I've heard in quite a while. As I listened to David's lyrics about Jonah running with his friends like the wind through the woods, I felt tears run down my face.

What is the price that those around us--those we love most--pay when we feel we must "hold it together" or maintain our vision for how we think things "should be?" Don't we all desire to let go and feel more free?

Actress Elizabeth Shue said, “I understand now that the vulnerability I've always felt is the greatest strength a person can have. You can't experience life without feeling life. What I've learned is that being vulnerable is not a weakness, it's a strength.”

My intention for the next few weeks is to be more vulnerable, to make more mistakes, to put myself out there as unfinished, a work in progress, maybe even clueless--and to hopefully--maybe for a minute--inspire a few others to consider doing the same. I'll let you know how it goes.

INVITE: Interested in learning how to Find Your Center? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in Massachusetts! Peak leaf turning time! I'd love to hold the space for you to rest, connect with your needs and desires--and hear what your Wise Self most wants you to know.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this fall or spring
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: Are you willing to let yourself be unfinished, to fall apart, to come undone?

Nora's Story: My First Women's Retreat

Ever wonder what happens at our Women's Self-Renewal Retreats? Curious why someone would carve out time, line up child and/or parent care and jump through hoops to get away and spend a weekend with other women?

Nora Livesay, a mom and graduate student in the Linguistics PhD program at the University of Minnesota was the winner of our Year-of-Self-Care Mother’s Day Giveaway (read more and meet Nora).

She recently returned from our June 22-24 New Way of Being: Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Wellness and graciously offered to talk about her experience at her first women's retreat.

Nora, how was the Kripalu Women’s Retreat with Renee; what did you most enjoy? The retreat was an incredible gift that arrived at just the right moment in my life. I enjoyed so many things about the retreat that it's hard to pick one as most enjoyable. Perhaps it was the space created for reflection that the New Way of Being teachings and time away from all other distractions provided. I found myself finally slowing down enough physically and mentally to be able to hear the quiet voice of insight (what Renee calls “Your Wise Self”) in that space. And believe me, for someone with ADHD who feels a restless need to be constantly in motion, that's quite rare.

What pearls of wisdom or teachings did you most enjoy or take away? I took away three important teachings from the retreat that I want to embrace in my daily life. 

The first is to not just listen to my Wise Self but to allow and trust that quiet voice to guide my daily decisions. Over the past couple years of being in Sarina La Marche’s Minneapolis Personal Renewal Group, I have gotten better at attuning to that voice, but have had trouble trusting it. I've made excuses -- I'm too busy... I don't have the resources to make it happen..., etc. But at the end of the retreat, I drew an inspirational card from a basket that Renee sent around with the message "start delegating" and it then it clicked. I have to make space to allow and trust my own voice by delegating other responsibilities.

The second teaching I learned was that movement is a path for me to hear my own voice and to renew my energy. I've always known I was a kinesthetic learner -- that I learn best by doing. But I've also felt that with my ADHD, the constant movement of my body and thoughts was often a negative thing that got in the way of other goals. I've never thought of movement as a way to connect deeper until it happened during the retreat when we danced (Kripalu offers an awesome class called YogaDance). I want to challenge myself now to find ways to experience movement in a joyful way and to be purposeful in channeling my movement.

Lastly, the realization about movement also led to another, perhaps the most important. To be Nora Ellen, to be all of her. To me that means accepting and embracing all of who I am, even the parts of me I get frustrated with. Each day at the retreat, I walked past a quote on the wall that said, "Yoga is the practice of tolerating the consequences of being yourself." The Bhagavad Gita. It reminded me that I want to practice not just tolerating, but truly accepting all of me. And the first step is tolerating my mistakes and failures and challenging the negative dialogue in my mind.  Yesterday, I turned on the wrong burner on the stove (which I seem to do every single time I cook) and instead of heating the fry pan to cook my egg, I set the entire egg carton on fire. Luckily no damage was done, and I put out the egg carton in sink. Instead of berating myself, my family and I had a good laugh at my latest kitchen misadventure. It’s definitely about baby steps. 

What surprised you about the retreat (and have you attended retreats before)? I've never attended a retreat like this before. I was expecting lots of information to download and absorb, and to have the days filled up with activities or yoga, and instead I was surprised by how the teachings/exercises were spacious, how much I slept and how little I “did.” It felt like I was catching up on months’ worth of much needed rest. I was also surprised by the depth of caring and comfort that all the women held for each other in the circle. It was palpable, like a soothing balm on raw skin. 

I was also truly blessed to have one of the other women invite me to spend a couple days at her home in the mountains before I flew back to Minnesota. The time we spent together over the next two days was like an extension of the retreat and really helped me ease back into my everyday life. That we could form such a strong connection and friendship so quickly is really a testament to the power of the circle of women at the retreat and the compassionate, nurturing environment that was present.

Would you take another RTA retreat? Absolutely! I would definitely recommend Renee Trudeau’s retreat to others. I want to go back next year and bring my sisters and friends with me. Even if those I love aren't ready to take in the insights/tools, just the experience of being held in loving kindness by the women's circle and of being in a peaceful place away from the busy-ness of life would be well worth the trip/investment. If you've never done anything like this, do it!

What did you think of Kripalu? Kripalu is an oasis of peacefulness. The beauty of nature in the Berkshire Mountains of western Massachusetts, the simple, but comfortable accommodations, and the food -- the incredibly delicious food -- combine to make it such a restful and healing place. I'm already thinking about how to get back there for another retreat! (Huge thanks to the generous folks at Kripalu for donating our all-expense paid retreat for the Year-of-Self-Care giveaway!)

INVITE: Interested in having your own unique retreat experience? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in Massachusetts! Peak leaf turning time! I'd love to hold the space for you to rest, connect with your needs and desires--and hear what your Wise Self most wants you to know.


P.S. Have a background in PR/Communications and interested in joining the all-women Renee Trudeau & Associates team this fall? Learn more about our Part-Time PR Coordinator Position.

 
I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photos at top: The beautiful Nora Livesay; Kripalu June 2012 retreat participants on the front lawn at Kripalu after a writing exercise; colored mandalas from a few of the retreat participants.

Rest

As I'm juggling summer camp logistics for my son, final editing on my new book, retreat prep/facilitation, managing business details and interviewing/training staff I find myself spiking with envy when I see my friends summer vacation photos.

Last week I had some serious deadlines to nail, but Wednesday during my morning meditation I heard loud and clear that I needed to slow down .... and rest. Rest....are you kidding?! At one of my busiest times? "Yes," a kind, still voice repeated, "Rest."

Surrendering, I fixed myself a big steamy mug of chamomile citrus tea, picked up an old weathered copy of Return to Love and settled in on the couch with my favorite blanket. The highlight of the day? A two -hour nap!

When I woke up Thursday morning and returned to my book deadlines, the editing flowed. It was enjoyable. And I completed twice the amount of work I had expected to that day.

Claudia Welch, author of one of my new favorite books, "Balance Your Hormones, Balance Your Life: Achieving Optimal Health and Wellness through Ayurveda, Chinese Medicine, and Western Science," says, "If we feel tired, we think something is wrong. Nothing is wrong. We are just tired. We need rest. Sometimes a lot of it, if we’ve gone for years vetoing our body’s signals."

Ok body, I'm listening.

Angela, one of my wise yoga teachers, loves to remind her students that there are times we simply need to do nothing. And then rest. Sounds good to me.

P.S. Interested in learning how to attune and respond to your body and spirit's deepest needs and desires?There's still room in my June 22-24 New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in Massachusetts! We'd love to have you continue this conversation with us in our upcoming women's circle.
I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my June 22-24 Kripalu retreat; check out all upcoming events
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: featurepics.com

Sippy Cups for Everyone!!

I’m moving across the floor in Nia class and finding myself becoming more and more annoyed with the woman dancing in front of me.

The room is packed—it’s a farewell class for one of our dear members who’s moving out of state—yet the woman I’m watching seems oblivious to this. Twirling, spinning and flailing –she’s claiming space enough for three!  And as I wonder for a moment how I could remedy the situation and consider moving to the back of the room, I feel a smile creep across my face and I suddenly see this sweet pony-tailed middle aged woman as a fanciful, quirky two-year old girl. (We’ve all seen these toddlers—they’re on their own planet, spinning through outer space and dancing to a theme song only they could have written.)

As I experienced this shift and my irritation turned to compassion and even delight as I backed up to give her more space, I thought, “Wow, what if we could view all our fellow tribesmen as toddlers?” 

The naysayer in the staff meeting who finds fault with every idea—becomes the analytical three year-old who no doubt, could take apart a toaster and put it back together. The conversation hog who loves to be the center of attention is transformed into the princess in training pants who precociously commands her minions to do her bidding with a sweep of her pink, glitter-covered wand. The electronically-distracted husband who seems to be ignoring your requests for help in the kitchen is suddenly a small preschooler, legs splayed across the floor, head bowed and face buried in Where the Wild Things Are …and my adolescent son when he’s rounding out a solid hour of “push back” because I won’t let him play Minecraft, is magically transformed into a beaming curator of Cheerios and miniature yellow school buses.

I left class an hour later with a huge smile on my face. And gratitude for this shift in perspective. What would the world be like if we could all challenge our own thinking? Is it possible that just by seeing things differently we can embrace a new way of being (read more) and how we relate not only to situations … but to each other?

When I shared this story with my husband, he asked, “What were you thinking right before you had this shift?” I don’t remember. But, I do know that more and more, my desire to feel good, to feel peaceful—and to feel a sense of well-being—is growing stronger each day. And I’m observing that the desire to feel good, more often than not---trumps the pull to feel bad.

Let’s play! (Lord knows I need a shift in perspective! My child care for the week just flew out the door—along with my summer intention--and I’m staring down the barrel at a week of deadlines, book re-writes, interviews and events prep!) For the next  seven days, every time I find myself getting irritated or frustrated at someone, I’m going to open my heart and mind and picture them with a red sippy cup in one hand, peanut butter smeared across their cheeks and small, chubby legs .

Will you join me? Let’s just see what’s possible when we challenge our own thinking and assumptions about one another. Who knows what might happen!

P.S. Interested in exploring how you could cultivate a shift in perspective towards self and others? There's still room in my June 22-24 New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in Massachusetts! We'd love to have you continue this conversation with us in our upcoming women's circle.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my June 8th Small Business Visioning Retreat and my June 22-24 Kripalu retreat; check out all upcoming events
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: My exhuberant preschooler, several years ago, after he made it to the top of Enchanted Rock--ready to take on the world.

What Does Self-Care Mean to You? (...and our winner!)

We received more than 300 entries into the Year-of-Self-Care Retreat Giveaway and as I sat reading these moving, inspiring, wise, sometimes funny and very real

shares--in response to "What Does Self-Care Mean to Me?"-- what touched me deeply were the reoccurring messages of self-forgiveness, releasing guilt and believing I

deserve self-care, learning to cultivate self-compassion, breathing and listening to my body, remembering to laugh and find joy in everyday life, expressing and connecting with my authentic self, being fully "me" (not who others want me to be) and how powerful it is to get a good night's sleep!

I've been teaching, studying and practicing the art of self-care--which I define as attuning and responding to your deepest needs and desires--for 12 years and all I can say is it's a journey that doesn't end--it definitely keeps deepening, widening and expanding. And today, I really see self-care as a spiritual practice. Learning to cultivate self-acceptance, self-compassion and responding to what I need--moment to moment--has had a profound effect on every area of my life.

The winner! So, Sunday a.m. after my son brought me breakfast in bed, he drew a name at random from the entries. And ....Nora got the call with the good news that SHE WON the $2700 retreat package! (It took us a while to track her down--she's in the middle of finishing her dissertation!)

Nora and I connected on Monday and she shared that she and her husband Doug (married 20 years) have two special needs kids Kiernan, 13, and Ripley, 10. They live in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

                                         Nora building a fire on Lake Superior with her boys.
                                        
Nora shared, “When I read Renee's e-newsletter on the giveaway, the self-care message was so timely for where I was at that week. I entered the contest because it made me reflect on self-care and what I really needed. I found Renee's life balance site/newsletter a couple years ago; last year I participated in a Personal Renewal Group with Sarina LaMarche. It's been so incredibly supportive that I decided to take the class again this year. The best thing about winning this prize is the chance to take a break (more than a couple hours), and spend time reflecting on where I need to go this next year to do a better job of self-care and what lessons I've learned that I can share with others in my life. I'm also very excited to get together with other women -- I believe there's a synergy that happens when we come together intentionally. I can't remember the last time I went away for a weekend just for me, not for work or with the family. This is really an incredible gift!”

Here are a few highlights from the entries we received on The Journey, through our Live Inside Out Community and through our self-care book giveaway program (thanks to

all our partners!) in response to the question: What does self-care mean to you? I encourage you to read them all!

• Tania--tuning into the voice in my heart--and responding.
• Pat--connecting with my inner self on hearing how best to love myself in the moment.
• Allison--believing I'm worthy of self-care.
• Bluefeather--understanding that it's not about spending money, but about taking even 30 seconds at the beginning of the day to check in around what I most need that day.
• Jodi--I know I'm embracing self-care when I  can laugh instead of snap at my well-meaning husband and be happy--instead of overwhelmed--by my wacky house.
• Aidan's mom--taking time to invest in my marriage--as it is such a source of nurturing for me.
• Claire--being near and playing in water deeply nourishes me.
• Leila-listening to my body when it begs for exercise rather than my mind who is saying "deadlines, deadlines!"
• AnnieB--treating myself the way I am teaching my children to treat others; this is often challenging to do.
• Tammy G--forgiving myself for not getting everything done on my list because my son had a list of his own that didn't include laundry and errands.
• Kerry--sometimes self-care looks like slowing down enough to rescue wayward worms from the storm puddles in the morning.
• Ida Kim--asking "what do I need?" and honoring and keeping the appointments I make with my sweet self.
• Michelle--treating myself like I would a cherished best friend.
• Jennifer--saying, "No," when I need to, and reserving my "Yes" for what's most important to me.
• Haley--allowing myself to live an authentic life and to follow my passions without guilt.
• JennGator--remembering that what's most important--and what feeds me--is not putting away laundry or unloading the dishwasher, but expressing love to my daughter.

Thanks to all of you for participating in this community event (and huge thanks to the good folks at Kripalu for donating the retreat!). I hope that being challenged to answer, "What does self-care mean to me?" caused you to pause and even
for a moment--reflect on how you treat, care for and talk to yourself.

Interested in learning more about The Transformative Power of Self-Care? Here's a free chapter from my book on this theme and some great free life balance teleclasses to
jump start your self-care journey. Let us know how we can support you in tapping into this powerful teaching!

P.S. Never been on a retreat, but always wanted to? For 20 years, I have taken retreats and led retreats because I find that periodically stepping away from my life, gives me
the perspective I need to remember what matters most and reconnect with my true self. (And of course, I also love the deep nourishment and relaxation that come
from a weekend totally devoted to my needs and desires!). There's still room in my June 22-24 New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in MA! We'd love to have you continue this conversation with us in our upcoming women's circle.


I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my June 8th Empowered Entrepreneur and June 22-24 Kripalu retreat;check out all upcoming events
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: My sweet ten-year-old son holding the winner's name with great care. "Mama, she'll be soooo excited!!"