Slow Down You Move Too Fast!

                    

This weekend I found myself frequently humming, "Slow down, you move too fast ..."

Lately, it feels like life is moving too fast. A month feels like a week--a week, like a day.

Saturday night we really felt the effects of this. 

My husband and I were supposed to attend a big fund raiser for my son's school. As we got closer to the hour of the event, we realized we were tired. Really tired. Lay down and sleep for five days tired (and this is in spite of the fact that we've all been going to bed on time!).

So instead of donning our party clothes, we put on scarves and jackets and drove to a nearby nature preserve to watch Jupiter, Venus and the Moon--through a powerful telescope--dance in the dark night sky. Our entire family was in bed asleep by 9:00.

A parent I talked to the other night--who is also a teacher--agreed, "Things seem to be moving really fast; everything seems unusually intense right now."

I saw a friend last night at an Indian restaurant who echoed our experience, "What's going on? It feels like we're all living at warp speed these days! Where's the off switch?"

This past weekend I went to a Kundalini yoga workshop on living in uncertain times and our teacher affirmed, yes, things are moving faster (on every level) and they're only going to continue to speed up.

When it feels like things are moving too fast, I rebel. I dig in my heels. I stop in my tracks. I stand still. And come home to myself--through my breath and often, through nature.

My brother lives in cabin in the woods in North Carolina; he sent me this haunting poem yesterday. I can't get it out of my mind. It beckons me to find ways and moments in my week to step off the merry-go-round and just s-t-a-n-d  still.

Maybe it will do the same for you.

Lost
Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

~ David Wagoner ~

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

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Video:"Feelin' Groovy"-Simon and Garfunkel; The 59th Street Bridge Song. Written in 1966, the year I was born. Growing up in the sixties and seventies Simon and Garfunkel were constant voices in my home.

Aware ... ness

It's 7:00 a.m. I’m sitting at my computer replying to some timely emails before I finish helping my son find his shoes and water bottle and get out the door for school.

He walks into my upstairs office and sits down in the office chair opposite mine and begins to twirl in circles like a mad man, while telling me about a really cool skateboard trick he saw Connor, his 12-year old idol perform last night on our sidewalk.

When this happens—-which is quite often--I usually try and stop for a minute and explain that I can’t give him my full attention until I finish this task, but I'd love to meet him downstairs shortly or could he save the story for dinner time?

Sometimes I do this in gentle tones. Sometimes there’s a sharpness to my voice I wish wasn’t there.

But this morning, I stopped, looked up (I love his earnestness and passion), pushed my laptop aside and really saw him. For a moment, I jumped into his world, imagining how he must have felt watching Connor—wishing his small nine-year old string bean body could do what this testerone-flooded big boy’s could. I could feel how badly he wanted me to experience his excitement at witnessing this force of nature. And for a moment, a veil was lifted, and I did.

And when he left for school with his dad this morning and came to me for a goodbye hug and kiss, I held him tighter than normal and looked intently into his eyes whispering silently, “I see you.”

This five minutes of enlightenment reminded me of Betty Sue Flowers and her son, when she shared at a women’s conference years ago, that to really understand and connect with someone you have to have a desire to move into their world, to occupy their space. Not outside-in, but from the inside-out.

I’m carrying forward this moment into my week with the intention of having “heightened awareness” in how I approach my work, my team, clients, my family, friends and my environment.

I think a lot about being more present and how I can cultivate this quality in my everyday experience (listen here to the class Carrie Contey, PhD and I just led on this theme).

But, I’m realizing there are degrees of “presence.” And sometimes when I think I’m really listening to my son or husband or loved ones. I’m not. At least not like I did this morning with my little guy.

Before my husband and third-grader zipped off to school in our dirty VW, my son rolled down the window and I called out to him from the porch, “Maybe I could get a skateboard and we could try some of those tricks together?” He looked at me funny, “Mom, that would be embarrassing.” And then after a short pause, he added quietly but with hope .. “Would you really do that?” Yes, Jonah, I would.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Aug. 25 class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photos: After a heavy rain, our yard was filled with these critters. When my son brought in eight of them to adorn our bathroom sink and compete in a snail race, I was mortified ... and then delighted. They're actually very cool.

Doing vs. Being

This is the time of year that many of us feel more like human doings than human beings.

Yesterday afternoon, my husband and son went out to work on costumes for one of my husband’s upcoming Samba School gigs.

I had been looking forward to this rare present all day: two to three hours of quiet time alone in my house!

After they left, I hopped online to take care of a few timely work-related items (rare for me as I try to stay offline on the weekends).

Forty-five-minutes later, I looked up and—irritated-- felt the sands of time sifting through my fingertips. My mind raced to all the things I had wanted to do during this window—gardening, hiking, baking, cleaning out my closet, “pure fun” reading, biking (it was gorgeous and sunny in Austin yesterday). And as I noticed all of these distractions waving and running by with hopeful smiles like contestants on the Price is Right, I found my irritation subsiding and realized what I really needed to “do”—was nothing at all.

Finally surrendering, I grabbed a Mexican blanket, headed out into our backyard, found the warmest, sunniest spot I could and laid down on the grass.

Can you relate to any of this?

I think there are three kinds of people:
1. Those who feel they have to “do” to be worthy (they’re constantly in motion; this was me up until about age 35)
2. Those who feel they need to “do their work” before they relax and play (I’m in this camp with millions of other Puritan work ethic devotees)
3. Those who have no guilt ever about relaxing and playing at any time! (My husband sleeps here—in his book “any time is the right time for relaxing!”)

The wonderful, wise author/mind-body expert Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. says, "Remember—your to-do list is immortal. It will live on long after you’re dead."

Being very skilled at the “doing dance,” I can honestly share that it’s quite seductive.

We’re rewarded –particularly in the U.S.—for output. Our national anthem is "Just Do It!" (You don’t hear anyone say, “Can you believe how often she says ‘no’ and how much she’s slowed down? Wow, what a role model!”)

There are many dangers that come from over-doing, but I think one of the deadliest—and scariest for me when I go into over-drive-- is we forget who we are.

I’ve heard many of our Career Strategists clients share in the last ten years “Isn’t there more? I feel like I just go to work, take care of the kids, handle my endless work/home obligations, sleep on the weekends and then start all over again Monday morning.”

When we don’t balance “doing” with “being,” we begin to feel like robots instead of the juicy, creative, vibrant, alive beings that we are.

And we forget that “Life is not a thing to be managed, it’s a mystery to be lived.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ll take pondering life's mysteries over finding a new way to cook chicken breasts, any day.

Onward through the week ... with a bit more mindful attention to balancing being with doing. The best I can.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our April 29-May 1 Kripalu Self-Renewal Retreat in the Berkshire Mountains of MA >Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for March 31st life balance teleclass and read my March Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. (Note: This blog post appeared in a similar format in 2010. It is so timely, I had to share it again.)

Being Present

I love it when the Universe calls me up to the plate, puts a bat in my hands, throws me a big old curve ball and sees how I’m going to react.

I’m really getting the opportunity to practice what I preach right now.

My husband was layed off two weeks ago (he’s doing great, thanks for all your prayers, support and leads for software quality assurance jobs) and is focusing on his job search. While he is feeling calm, excited for what’s next and hopeful about finding something he loves that is close to our home, I am feeling a bit anxious (I had big plans for this summer that may have to change—read more).

I have a deep knowingness that everything will unfold for the best, but I’m finding myself having a hard time staying present.

Summer is my favorite time of year—I love the fresh peaches and basil, I love taking long/cold plunges at Deep Eddy, I love reading, reading and more reading and I love enjoying a slower pace with my family.

I don’t want to give this up and am very mindful that if I allow myself to be preoccupied with worry or go into “the spin cycle” around finances, summer will pass me by and I’ll wake up on Labor Day, having missed some of the best days of the year!

So my intention moving forward is to pause frequently, to enjoy this wonderful, special time of year in Central Texas, to take time to make blueberry-banana smoothies on a stick (my 8 year-old's newest invention) and roasted veggie pizzas, to enjoy lazy, evening neighborhood walks with friends/family, to relish swimming in Texas' many wonderful natural springs and to remember that just because life has thrown us a curve ball, doesn’t mean we have to step out of the game.

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like to learn strategies for being more present and slowing down? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE June 17th Live Inside Out teleclass for couples on Staying Connected to Your Partner.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My son and I take a closer look at a small, sweet frog at Hamilton Pool while on a hike.

What's Your Speed Limit This Summer?

Thanks for all the great dialogue from my last post on Relationships.

I really enjoyed your insights and comments on relationships on our Live Inside Out community. If you'd like some great relationship tips, sign up to get my monthly Life Balance newsletter for some ideas on how Personal Renewal Group members worldwide stay connected to their partners and mark your calendar to join us on June 17th for a free couples teleclass on this topic (details at the end of this post).

As I head into my son's last week of school, make sure all my summer camp registrations are in, wrap up with our college interns who are graduating, work with my team on our staff summer vacation schedule, map out my interview/media/event deadlines, take care of end-of-school-year stuff, schedule key business meetings in June, plan for my July writing sabbatical and reflect on my professional/personal goals for the summer, I'm very clear I want this summer to be slow. I'd say speed limit-wise-- around 35 mph.

I'm sure this speed will fluctuate from time to time, I'll get written up for a few warnings and undoubtedly a few speed bumps will put me in my place, but overall, I want 35 mph to be my average cruise control setting through the month of July.

There are many things I want to accomplish on the business-front and home-front, but I can feel my body begging for me to slooowwww way down. And as my wise 8 year-old son says, "Slower is better, mom."

Check out my post on Summer of .... if you're in the same boat and really thinking about what kind of summer you want to experience over the next 10 weeks or so (in Texas, summer comes early!).

I'm sure everyone's speed will vary depending on their career/life stage and needs (the summer I wrote my first book, I was cruising at a steady 55 all summer long), but regardless, it's fun to think what speed limit you'd like to adopt this summer.

And if you like, share your maximum mph on our Live Inside Out community. Maybe we can all support each other in avoiding getting pulled over too often.

Also, I encourage you to check out my friend Beth's peaceful family tips from her beautiful new book "A Moment’s Peace: A Mom’s Guide to Creating Calm Amidst Chaos."

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like support for getting in touch with your needs and reconnecting with who you are? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE June 17th Live Inside Out teleclass for couples on Staying Connected to Your Partner and our June 11th The Empowered Entrepreneur workshop.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Sacramento, CA

Unplugged

This past weekend I led a Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings Spa and Resort for an amazing group of 32 women from around the U.S. It is deeply fulfilling work, but it also takes a lot of energy to “hold the space” for people as they move towards and begin to create the life/career they desire.

So, yesterday, I gave myself the gift of a day off for rest and completely unplugged. No laptop, no cell phone, no email, no phone calls, no responses to requests for help.

I began the day meeting a friend down on Town Lake (a beautiful lake that runs through the center of downtown Austin) for my favorite walk which takes me to the quieter, less populated area of the trail where I also get to see a lot of wildlife—bats, herons, swans, ducks, squirrels, cranes. The weather was amazing and it felt so good to not have to rush back to conference calls or meetings and to really slow down and soak up my surroundings.

Afterwards I asked my body what it needed and then went to Whole Foods (the “mother ship” is located in Austin) and picked up some amazing ripe mangos, sweet strawberries, huge creamy avocados and some brown rice California rolls—yum.

I ended up spending a long time in my beautiful backyard, eating mangos in the hammock, smelling herbs, listening to the birds, picking weeds and just sitting on the rocks around our beautiful water fountain doing … nothing.

Later, I headed upstairs and took a luxurious nap, did some journaling and drawing, pulled out some of the exercises I did at my recent writing/movement retreat and, had some really interesting ah-has (I love looking at deep inner work months or years later and harvesting new insights).

For dinner, I cooked an amazingly yummy broccoli/ginger/crispy tofu stir fry for my family and then went for a lazy walk in our neighborhood at dusk with a dear friend.

It felt like such a gift to really “untether” from the digital world like this.

Usually my days are filled with constant demands for my energy, time, talents and voice and so often this requires a lot of time online.

Last night, I reflected on the gifts that came to me from “unplugging,” including:
• physiologically I could feel my heart beat and blood pressure drop and slow way down
• I was more observant and connected to how things smelled, tasted, sounded, felt
• I was much more present with and attuned to my family Monday evening
• I felt more connected to my feminine or “yin” energy around receiving and allowing and less driven by my masculine or “yang” energy to produce, do, or create outcome (we all--men and women-have both energies)
• I could feel really feel the subtleties of how healing and restorative it is for me to spend time in nature and drink in the sounds/sights/smells from the natural world
• I had immediate clarity around what is essential and nonessential for me to focus on in my work (and life!)
• I could sense how wonderful it felt to “mono-task” and how much my brain enjoyed not being overworked to the point of being ineffective
• I was more connected to my creativity and could feel the stirrings inside of me of something new that is preparing to come forth

I wonder if I spent one day a week “unplugged” how it would affect my work and life?

Could it actually make me more productive on a day-to-day basis? Hmmmm.

Maybe you should try to totally unplug for a day? If you do, let me know. I’d love to hear about your experience.

JOIN US FOR A RETREAT: Would you like support for learning how to focus on your physical/emotional/spiritual and mental self-care? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift!

Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE May 18th Live Inside Out teleclass on Reclaiming Adventure in Your Life and our June 11th The Empowered Entrepreneur workshop.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you slow down and unplug.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Video: the zen water fountain in our backyard is surrounded by three huge rocks and trees/plants--a perfect spot to do ... nothing.

Thank You Jonah

My husband and I are taking a seven-week parenting class right now.

Most of us weren’t “born” to know how to consciously parent and many of us didn’t have healthy models for how to be in relationship, so getting support on how to do the hardest and most important job in the world is well worth the resource and time investment, in my book.

Although we’ve taken some classes here and there, this one in particular, has been quite enlightening. And, for me, it’s brought up deep feelings of gratitude for the opportunity to be a mother to this sweet, wonderful soul and to be his pupil. (Even when he challenges me to my limit!).

I was inspired this week to write a thank-you letter to my Zen Master. Here it is:

Dear Jonah:

Thank you for choosing me as your mother.

I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to accompany you on your journey on planet earth this go around.

You remind me daily of all the good that exists in each of us, in the world, how interconnected we all are and what really matters.

You’re the most profound teacher I’ve ever had (where did you go to school again?!).

I’ve learned so much in the last seven years about patience, kindness, compassion, openness, trusting, starting over, softening, releasing, letting go, stretching, expanding and slowing down.

And I love to hear you remind me, “Mom, things are better when they’re slow.”

You’ve taught me volumes about forgiveness—towards those closest to me, my parents and especially my self. And about love—its limitlessness, its power and its ability to heal everything--always.

You stop me daily in my tracks with your wise words and insightful perspective and I love it when you quote Byron Katie and ask, “Mom, is this your business, his/her business or God’s business?”

Nature—oh beautiful, healing, serene, awesome nature. Our favorite playground and the environment where I feel most connected to who you are and our innate divinity. Thank you for inspiring me to return to nature time and time again to replenish my well.

I am looking forward to all the lessons you have in store for me in the coming years. And, I appreciate your faith in me as your mother and your willingness to love me, warts and all.

Thank you for being such a source of inspiration for me to give birth to the best that is within me.

With deep gratitude. Love, Renee


P.S. Interested in meeting once a month in a women's self-renewal circle to enhance your ability to be more present and parent more consciously? Join or become trained to lead a Personal Renewal Group for mothers. Life coaching groups are meeting from Amsterdam to Akron. Nothing has had a more profound impact on my parenting than being in a PRG.

Learn more about how to Live Inside Out (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.


Photo: My friend Susan Goodman took this picture of Jonah and I in 2003.