Let's Infect the World...with Love

Yesterday, sitting arm to arm with my husband in the sanctuary of our church, I found myself wiping away tears every few minutes. My heart was swollen--it physically ached. At the end of the service while singing Angels We Have Heard on High, I could barely look at the group of young boys and girls gathered at the front of the room without sobbing.

I realized that this was the first time I had allowed myself to truly feel the depth of emotion Friday's shooting in Newtown, CT had stirred within me.

"Can you imagine how much pain this poor boy must have been in to feel his only course was to act out in this way?" our spiritual director Tim said during our service on Sunday. "The world is not a bad place, but it is sick. And it needs healing."

While violence like this seems so ugly and unimaginable it leaves most of us paralyzed, feeling helpless and hopeless about how we can help-- what I know in every cell of my being is that when one of us chooses love over fear we infect our entire collective "body." When one of us prays or holds the vision for larger healing--we are all affected (read more from medical pioneer Dr. Larry Dossey's research on the power of prayer).

So what can we do in these coming days and weeks--besides praying and lighting candles--to soothe our country's torn heart and to nurture our collective soul? We can remember that we're more interconnected than we could ever imagine and that when one of us puts loving kindness and compassion at the forefront of our lives, we all benefit.

December Challenge: Want to "do something" to infect the world with more love and compassion and send healing to your brothers and sisters in CT? Get off your butt and see who in your community needs your help. Call your local United Way or ask your friends/co-workers who needs help in your community. Or, just pause and look around you. Take the time and effort to reach out to a friend, colleague or neighbor who is struggling and could use some emotional support (read more). I have been so busy preparing to launch my new book, I had cancelled our annual volunteer trip to serve the homeless Christmas dinner through the wonderful Mobile Loaves & Fishes. But this morning, I changed our RSVP from "too busy, I'm sending a check," to "we'll be there with pies in hand and are available all evening." 
  
I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this spring or hire Renee to create one for your group
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• Subscribe to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo: Serving the homeless and healing the world bit by bit.

We Need Each Other

"No matter how much we meditate or pray, we still need others to help us dismantle the walls of our isolation and remind us of our belonging." - Tara Brach (Thanks Jen Louden.)

A few weeks ago I led a work-life balance mini retreat for a group of twenty very successful women leaders. As I was teaching about self-care one of them--the youngest in the room-- raised her hand and said she just didn't get the concept of emotional self-care (we had just explored the concept of why it was important to nurture our hearts). She thought women were supposed to be strong, armored and hold it together no matter what. 

The room became very quiet. It was clear that this beautiful woman had been taught that sharing her humanity was a liability. Her modus operandi for years had been to check her feelings at the door before she walked into work. And to definitely make sure she didn't "bother" others with her problems or issues.

I think many of us could relate.

Last week sucked for me. It was very stressful (read more). But after attending an entrepreneur mastermind meeting last Friday, visiting dear friends who were in the hospital later that evening, gathering with my son's  school community Saturday and enjoying special time with a friend Saturday night --I had morphed into a different person. Had my external circumstances changed? No, but my mood increased dramatically and I gained some much-needed perspective simply by being with others who made me feel more connected---to myself, to my family and to everyone around me.

One of my mom's favorite songs was I Am a Rock by Simon and Garfunkel (lyrics: "I am a rock, I am an island") and growing up I watched how often she would isolate herself from others and try to navigate all the ups/downs of motherhood, parenting and work--alone.

I am clear this is not how we're supposed to live. And the older I get, the more I desire to show up "human" and even vulnerable in my interactions--both personal and professional.  I not only believe this is our birthright and essential to overall health and well-being, it's critical to our growth and even, our evolution. 

I want to be an advocate, a model and a teacher for how we can all be more interconnected---both when we're struggling and when we're on top of the world. Because this coming together and leaning on and into each other-- I believe--is what's it's all about. 

INVITE: Interested in learning how to become more comfortable asking for and receiving help and re-connecting with your needs and desires? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Wellness.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this fall or spring
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: A spontaneous fall 2010 post-retreat puppy dog pile-on with some of my friends who not only believe "we need each other"--they live it!

What the World Needs Now

Even though I come from a large family, growing up, I often felt isolated.

My parents were big seekers. Much of their energy was spent on their personal quest to find or experience God---and they encouraged us to do the same.

Yet, in the midst of all this spiritual exploration-- we often lacked connection to a larger, extended community. And to be fair to my parents, I know the desire was there, but the knowledge of how to actually do this seemed to be missing. (I think this is common among many; I hear the question, "How DO you create community?" quite often as I travel around the U.S.)

I'm sure this is why I'm so passionate about fostering connection and community for myself, my family, and others today (the joke with my husband when I’m headed out the door to an evening or weekend gathering, is “which women’s circle, mastermind session or group are you going to —or starting--today?”).

Last night I had the opportunity to gather with some of the wonderful women and their families from my good friend Dr. Deborah Kern’s Daring Diva community. Earlier this month, in honor of my maternal grandmother’s 100th birthday, I gathered with a small group of women to honor/celebrate the gifts we have received from our grandmothers—living and deceased. This coming week, I’ll be meeting with a small sister group on the Fall Equinox to share insights from a teleclass we’re all participating in (on the same evening, another group I started for entrepreneurs in 2005, will be gathering).

And, for the last 7 years, I’ve been pouring energy into helping women reconnect with who they are, focus on self-compassion and attune to their need/desires through our global Personal Renewal Group Program. And, I am very committed to continuing to regularly create and facilitate women’s retreats.

Why does it seem that now, more than ever, we’re all craving opportunities to gather in small, intentional gatherings and explore what matters most (Live Inside Out provides more insight into this)?

~I believe we’re one another’s teachers. And, we were MEANT to be interdependent not uber-independent (a common modus operandi for many of us); on the deepest level we know this to be true.
~Often when I’m going through a challenging time, when I gather with like-minded friends for authentic conversation—I feel validated, supported and more often than not, discover we’re having similar—and sometimes even identical--experiences!
~Friends that care deeply about me and hold the highest/best for me, remind me of who I *really* am—and help me remember my stuff isn’t the “biggest thing that’s happening to me,” it’s just the “biggest thing in the moment!”
~We’re much more interconnected than we could ever imagine. And when we gather in groups, we’re reminded of this in profound ways.
~So often when we hear someone in a group articulate what we’ve been trying for months to put words to, we have an immediate shift in perspective or ah-ha moment.
~The practice of being real, vulnerable and deeply authentic in front of others—as my mentor says, “showing up warts and all”—can be amazingly cathartic.
~More and more research is illustrating the positive effect gathering in groups has on women—specifically our immune systems and serotonin levels get a boost and we release oxytocin—which results in us feeling calmer and happier overall (and yes, men need this, too!).

The power of groups, never ceases to amaze me. I truly think it's what the world needs now.

And as I launch a new group experience this week on Self-Care as a Spiritual Practice (my first ongoing women’s group in three years), I move into the next phase and evolution of my work, knowing that the gifts that will come from this journey will be unfolding for years to come.

It’s just a feeling I have. And usually, my hunches are right on.

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like to experience connection and community and receive support from like-minded women? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our November 5th One-Day Women's Self-Renewal Retreat and our FREE October 14th Live Inside Out teleclass on Being More Present and Remembering What Matters.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and read how people are living more intentionally.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Whether in groups of 3 or 300, from Africa to Atlanta, women from around the world have understood the power that comes from gathering in groups for thousands of years.

Interconnected

I went to hear a friend sing the other night. A talented, soulful singer songwriter, it was Tricia Mitchell’s re-entry into the spotlight after taking a break to be with her young kids.

As I watched her onstage at a local club in Austin telling stories, singing, playing her guitar and still somehow staying connected to her small three and six year old kiddos who were running around in front of the stage, I was deeply moved. (Listen to some of her music here; I love Bobby Jo Plays the Violin.)

It takes a lot of courage to write music and lyrics and have the willingness to get up “bare naked” and perform in front of friends and strangers.

We inspire each other. When one of us makes the choice to get up off the couch and (fill in the blank: look for a new job, start a business, write a book, take up painting, perform original music in front of an audience), we all do.

We’re far more connected than we know. And in our small and large acts of courage, we empower each other—often unknowingly—to fulfill our dreams. And to keep putting one foot in front of the next.

Thanks Tricia, for reminding all of us that what awaits us when we get up off the couch—is worth pursuing. And, for helping us remember that when we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others the permission to do the same.

AN INVITATION: Interested in exploring and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events--including our amazing March 26th and April 23-25 Self Renewal Women's Retreats at The Crossings Spa & Resort--here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to register for our March 23rd FREE teleclass from 7:30-8:30 p.m. CST on Owning Your Personal Power. And sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Tricia Mitchell.