Unexpected Gifts

In 2002, the year my son was born, I felt a soft but persistent tapping on my shoulder to start a free, community support group to help mothers (most of all me) focus on self-care.

My plate was full with a six-month old and a relatively new business, but the feeling and pull was so strong, I felt I had no choice but to say “Yes.”

I facilitated these coaching groups for five years and the opportunity to sit deeply with a circle of women once a month and focus on reconnecting with who we are and nurturing our emotional well-being, changed my life more than any single thing I have ever done. (My book—which the groups are based on and which came out last year--was born organically from the experience.)

This past Friday, my little guy turned seven and I stand in amazement as I realize what a series of life-changing gifts he has given me. (The chapter in my book on Motherhood as a Spiritual Journey explores this topic deeply.)

Besides the gift of self-care (which has been HUGE), how could I have ever guessed that such deeply fulfilling, meaningful work—speaking, writing, coaching/training around the topic of life balance/self-renewal—would come directly from the experience of being his parent?

Life is weird.

Often my career coaching clients will feel overwhelmed with questions around life purpose. As I get older, I believe more and more that our job is to listen quietly for opportunities to say “Yes,” and from these often courageous leaps, comes our life’s work. (If you’re feeling stuck around your career, check out my suggestions for gaining clarity and focus for some support.)

Maybe there’s something in your life that deserves a “Yes?”

P.S. Interested in learning more about how you can start/join a Personal Renewal Group in your community? Hundreds of groups are meeting around the US/Canada and Europe for moms/women at all life stages and more are starting each week. I also invite you to consider joining other like-minded women interested in learning about the Power of Self Care at my upcoming Spring Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings, April 24-26.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Happiness when ....?

Do you ever find yourself playing the "I know I'll be happy when .....(fill in the blank: I've finished my project, I have a new job, I'm done with school, my divorce is finalized, my client has paid me, I've figured out what my life purpose is, etc., etc.)?

My husband and I were talking late last night about how deadly this game can be (meaning you can miss out on the simple, day-to-day joys of life if you get too caught up the "future game").

I went in and out of this mindset last year as I rode the "start up mode" waves, busily launching and birthing a new national women's program. When I got stressed out by deadlines or demands from others and wasn't being present or even fun to be around, I would sometimes get lured into the false promise of "but I know I'll be truly happy and stress-free, when ...."

What makes you happy? (I challenge you: grab a piece of paper and a pen and write out the top five things that come to mind.) I find tremendous joy and satisfaction in curling up by the fire and playing a game with my son and husband, making a great meal and serving it to friends or family, hiking in nature and really appreciating its beauty and mystery, hearing a piece of music or seeing a dance performance that moves me deeply or feeling enough spaciousness in my day and schedule to be able to stop and connect with friends or associates I come in contact with throughout the day.

While I may feel brief satisfaction after completing a large project or even enjoy the momentary high that comes from being asked to do something new/big/fun, these things don't permanently impact how happy I am--and, sometimes, they adversely affect my joy and well-being (particulary if they involve more work on my part that results in less downtime with my family).

More and more, I'm realizing that the less I feel I "have to do," (expectations!) and the simpler my life is, the happier I am. I think deep down, we ALL feel this way. Even though this message is the exact opposite of what the media and in many ways, society in general, would have us believe.

Does the answer (to the quest for happines) really revolve around simplicity? I'd love to hear your reflections on this topic.