Ahhh....A Change Is Needed!

My husband and I had a challenging time around communication this past week. Of course, I can quickly blame it on his heady, introverted nature (he’s an INTP if you know Myers Briggs speak), but the truth is it takes two to tango.

At the same time we were dealing with our stuff, four friends reached out to me within a 48 hour period—all were navigating big relationship hurdles and some shared they may be looking at separation or divorce. (It was an emotional weekend for many, to say the least.)

It seems many of us are being challenged right now to examine what’s working and what’s not in our key relationships, and if necessary, to course correct.

Hours later following our disconnect, my partner and I had a great conversation around things each of us could do differently to help enhance harmony in our relationship.

And, for the first time ever, rather than internalizing “what’s wrong,” or ingesting self-criticism or blame (my husband’s tendency)—we both simply came to the realization that “Ahhhh … a change is needed,” in how we communicate.

It felt like such a relief to realize we didn’t have to turn this into WWIII. We could simply see this for what it was: a call to action to change the way we do things. And to respond accordingly. Even with a bit of levity!

Sometimes changes may involve tweaking our cruise control setting or adjusting our rear view mirror and other times, it may mean moving from Farm Road 150 to the toll road.

“Ahhh … a change is needed.” It feels good just to say it (and a lot less burdensome than “So how do we fix this?”).

I look forward to getting many more opportunities this fall to respond to various situations with “Ahhh … a change is needed.” Maybe you’d like to test-drive it, too.

An Invitation: this past summer I had some huge ah-has around how I want to live/work moving forward. I came to the realization that even though there are many things I appreciate and enjoy about how I’ve set up my life, I desire even more space, simplicity and freedom. So what better way to embody a New Way of Being than to teach it? Read 7 Ways to Embrace a New Way of Being and join me and like-minded men/women for my 4-week New Way of Being Telecourse for all of us who are done with overwork and overwhelm. I’m so excited about this revolutionary new program and can’t wait to support you in creating the life you desire from the inside-out!

P.S. Have you heard about the I CHOOSE LOVE public service campaign? It's a reminder to ourselves and our brothers and sisters that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more about how you can embrace this message in your daily life through being more mindful, sharing stories, ordering a tshirt (at cost) and more.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event; join me Oct. 14-16 at Kripalu in the amazing cool Berkshire mountains for our Women's Self-Renewal Retreat.
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
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>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization

Subscribe to The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: I’m currently taking qi gong (an ancient practice designed to balance qi or life energy) from Master Li at AOMA I love Master Li’s prompts to expand into a “feel good” state while doing qi gong. He says the emotional state is one of the most important elements of the practice. “Ahhh … a change is needed,” I now say with a smile. I think Master Li would approve.

Risking It

My wonderful brother Kert, a Qi Gong teacher, is 14 months younger than me and is a constant source of inspiration (read more about some of Kert’s adventures).

He’s currently studying a special form of Qi Gong from a Taoist Priest in the Wudang Mountains of China (see photos of the mountains on this blog I stumbled across).

He plans to be there for six months. He left knowing no one and not having any idea what to expect (the schedule is intense, he’s up at 5:00 a.m. each day to begin his practice with other men and women from around the globe). His gut told him to take this leap and he listened.

He’s always been comfortable taking risks, much like me.

I think we got this risk-taking streak from our maternal grandmother, who died at the age of 94 (she would have been 100 on Sept. 1st). We were very close to her.

Born in 1910, our “Nonnie” grew up on the oldest dairy farm in Texas.

She got an undergraduate degree in education, received a graduate degree in her twenties, traveled with her girlfriends to Europe while she was single, asked for a divorce and became a single mother in her early thirties, bought land and opened/managed a soda shop (and was proudly the first in the state to serve “soft serve ice cream”) while teaching school, actively invested and was infamous for the amazing trips she took me and my six siblings on in the 70’s and 80’s. One of my favorite photos is of 69 year-old Nonnie and me riding camels next to the Pyramids of Giza (yes in Egypt!).

I have been reflecting lately on the gifts that I have received from my female ancestors—especially my grandmothers.

I believe that when I honor these gifts—such as risk taking from Nonnie—I call them forth, strengthen them and breathe life into them.

And I believe that risk taking really asks that we be visible (when I cashed out my 401K in 2007 to open a small publishing company, there was nowhere to hide!). And showing up and being seen is no small feat for many.

The older I get, the more comfortable I get taking all kinds of risks. I find that when I step out of my comfort zone, jump off a cliff or tread down an unknown path because I felt “guided” to do so-- I feel alive.

And as I think of Kert eating congee every morning for breakfast in China while I eat my homemade soy yogurt parfait, I smile at the photo of Nonnie next to my bathroom sink and wonder what she’d have to say about all of this!

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like to learn more about the power of self-care and receive support for taking risks in life? Start or join a Personal Renewal Group, visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE September 9th Live Inside Out teleclass on Strategies for Balanced Living.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and read how people are living more intentionally.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My sister recently gave me these beautiful red wrap sandals from Spain. I love them because they remind me to take risks and to show up big and be seen!