Staying Slow When Everything's Fast

Last Friday evening I became aware I was allowing someone I was working with to have too much say over how I was feeling. I was giving this relationship--a relatively new one--too much weight, too much power. And I didn't like how this was making me feel: rushed, speeded up and unsettled.

Walking out of yoga the next day after a calm savasana (deep relaxation), I was immediately assaulted by cars aggressively vying for parking spaces, a blaring radio, construction noises and the ringing of my cell phone. It seemed everyone and everything around was was chanting, "speed up, speed up!"  I slapped the off button on my car, sat quietly in the searing heat for a few minutes and heard a quiet voice ask, "Are you allowing others or circumstances to dictate the speed at which you live and move ... or are you in charge of your internal speed?"

Good question.

Sometimes I forget that I'm in charge of my internal state. I'm not a leaf being tossed about by the rain ...or the wind ...or the weather du jour. Even when everything around me gets crazy busy, I can choose how I want to "be." 

The other day after a heated argument with my ten year-old about screen time, he got up and walked out the front door. A few minutes later, he returned. He told me later he had gone outside to "take ten deep breaths and re-set." (I almost did a back flip with glee upon hearing this!)  He shared this was not the kind of day he wanted to have and he didn't want what was happening between us to set the course for the rest of his weekend. And for how he felt.

I have a feeling that this reminder to pay attention to my internal speed-- is preparing me for the upcoming fall (I'll be training an entirely new support team and preparing for a book launch on top of my other work). Is it possible in the midst of a lot of activity to not get swept up by what's going on around us? Is it conceivable that we can choose the speed at which we move through our day--even when everyone and everything around us is going 90 to nothing?  (Parents have to do this daily!)

Yep, it's possible. I've experienced it--in fact, many times. For me it always comes down to the question, "How Bad do You Want to Feel Good?" (read more). How important is my emotional well-being--feeling grounded and calm--and what am I willing to do to make this a priority?

Sometimes when my home or professional life are in utter chaos, an image of my mom sitting on our worn piano bench playing classical guitar in the middle of our large sunny kitchen comes flooding back. I can see my four brothers running madly around her, flashes of blue capes and slingshots whizzing by ...while she plays Bach, trying to find her center and attempting to slow down while everything around her is speeding up.

I plan to call on this image frequently as I move mindfully into the coming months and am pulling out my calendar right now to block out 8 hours for a personal retreat in late summer to help me anchor so I can stay slow when everything gets fast.

P.S. Have a background in PR/Communications and interested in playing with our team this fall/spring? Learn more about our Part-Time PR Coordinator Position.

INVITE: Interested in exploring how to stay calm in the eye of the storm and attune and respond to your true needs and desires? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in Massachusetts! We'd love to have you continue this conversation with us in our upcoming women's circle.
 
I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: The beautiful tall, still, graceful pelicans of Port Aransas, TX residing over the sometimes calm, sometimes turbulent sea.

Slow Down You Move Too Fast!

                    

This weekend I found myself frequently humming, "Slow down, you move too fast ..."

Lately, it feels like life is moving too fast. A month feels like a week--a week, like a day.

Saturday night we really felt the effects of this. 

My husband and I were supposed to attend a big fund raiser for my son's school. As we got closer to the hour of the event, we realized we were tired. Really tired. Lay down and sleep for five days tired (and this is in spite of the fact that we've all been going to bed on time!).

So instead of donning our party clothes, we put on scarves and jackets and drove to a nearby nature preserve to watch Jupiter, Venus and the Moon--through a powerful telescope--dance in the dark night sky. Our entire family was in bed asleep by 9:00.

A parent I talked to the other night--who is also a teacher--agreed, "Things seem to be moving really fast; everything seems unusually intense right now."

I saw a friend last night at an Indian restaurant who echoed our experience, "What's going on? It feels like we're all living at warp speed these days! Where's the off switch?"

This past weekend I went to a Kundalini yoga workshop on living in uncertain times and our teacher affirmed, yes, things are moving faster (on every level) and they're only going to continue to speed up.

When it feels like things are moving too fast, I rebel. I dig in my heels. I stop in my tracks. I stand still. And come home to myself--through my breath and often, through nature.

My brother lives in cabin in the woods in North Carolina; he sent me this haunting poem yesterday. I can't get it out of my mind. It beckons me to find ways and moments in my week to step off the merry-go-round and just s-t-a-n-d  still.

Maybe it will do the same for you.

Lost
Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

~ David Wagoner ~

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my April 13th Empowered Entrepreneur Retreat and my April Esalen and June Kripalu retreats
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization 
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more.

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out. 

Video:"Feelin' Groovy"-Simon and Garfunkel; The 59th Street Bridge Song. Written in 1966, the year I was born. Growing up in the sixties and seventies Simon and Garfunkel were constant voices in my home.

Doing vs. Being

This is the time of year that many of us feel more like human doings than human beings.

Yesterday afternoon, my husband and son went out to work on costumes for one of my husband’s upcoming Samba School gigs.

I had been looking forward to this rare present all day: two to three hours of quiet time alone in my house!

After they left, I hopped online to take care of a few timely work-related items (rare for me as I try to stay offline on the weekends).

Forty-five-minutes later, I looked up and—irritated-- felt the sands of time sifting through my fingertips. My mind raced to all the things I had wanted to do during this window—gardening, hiking, baking, cleaning out my closet, “pure fun” reading, biking (it was gorgeous and sunny in Austin yesterday). And as I noticed all of these distractions waving and running by with hopeful smiles like contestants on the Price is Right, I found my irritation subsiding and realized what I really needed to “do”—was nothing at all.

Finally surrendering, I grabbed a Mexican blanket, headed out into our backyard, found the warmest, sunniest spot I could and laid down on the grass.

Can you relate to any of this?

I think there are three kinds of people:
1. Those who feel they have to “do” to be worthy (they’re constantly in motion; this was me up until about age 35)
2. Those who feel they need to “do their work” before they relax and play (I’m in this camp with millions of other Puritan work ethic devotees)
3. Those who have no guilt ever about relaxing and playing at any time! (My husband sleeps here—in his book “any time is the right time for relaxing!”)

The wonderful, wise author/mind-body expert Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. says, "Remember—your to-do list is immortal. It will live on long after you’re dead."

Being very skilled at the “doing dance,” I can honestly share that it’s quite seductive.

We’re rewarded –particularly in the U.S.—for output. Our national anthem is "Just Do It!" (You don’t hear anyone say, “Can you believe how often she says ‘no’ and how much she’s slowed down? Wow, what a role model!”)

There are many dangers that come from over-doing, but I think one of the deadliest—and scariest for me when I go into over-drive-- is we forget who we are.

I’ve heard many of our Career Strategists clients share in the last ten years “Isn’t there more? I feel like I just go to work, take care of the kids, handle my endless work/home obligations, sleep on the weekends and then start all over again Monday morning.”

When we don’t balance “doing” with “being,” we begin to feel like robots instead of the juicy, creative, vibrant, alive beings that we are.

And we forget that “Life is not a thing to be managed, it’s a mystery to be lived.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ll take pondering life's mysteries over finding a new way to cook chicken breasts, any day.

Onward through the week ... with a bit more mindful attention to balancing being with doing. The best I can.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our April 29-May 1 Kripalu Self-Renewal Retreat in the Berkshire Mountains of MA >Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for March 31st life balance teleclass and read my March Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. (Note: This blog post appeared in a similar format in 2010. It is so timely, I had to share it again.)

Right Here, Right Now

Following a rich, connective one-day self-renewal retreat I facilitated on Friday, I attended and volunteered at GenAustin’s statewide We Are Girls Conference at the Ann Richards School for Girls all day Saturday. It was an emotionally intense weekend and one of the experiences I can’t shake was during a self-care workshop I led for high school girls and mothers Saturday afternoon.

At the end of our interactive workshop session where we explored the concept of self-care and what our portals are for self-nurturing and nourishment, I gave each woman a juicy Clementine orange.

I invited them to close their eyes and “fill” the orange with whatever it is they most need right now –support, the ability to say no, peace/well-being, self-acceptance, courage,etc. After this reflective meditation, I asked them to slowly smell, peel and then very mindfully, eat their imbued orange—symbolizing the act of fully “receiving” the qualities they had just bestowed upon themselves.

All of the moms in the room—except for one—were single, working women juggling a thousand daily obligations.

After the exercise, they shared how difficult it was to slow down and become that present (I could relate—I had a hard time eating just one section of the orange at a time!). One woman remarked that in her day to day life, she was afraid to slow down that much. She was so tired that she worried if she ever stopped and really allowed herself to become present and feel her feelings, she might not be able to get up to speed again to her normal ninety to nothing pace.

I think most of us resist being present much of the time. It's hard.

But I also know from personal experience, that it’s one of the secrets to experiencing more peace, well-being and harmony in our day-to-day lives.

I’m going to keep a sweet baby Clementine orange on my desk this week at work as I move into an overly-busy schedule and back-to-back events Thursday through Monday.

I’m hoping this visual will help remind me to slow down, to be more conscious, present and remember that overwhelm happens when I live in the future and anticipate all the things that lie before me.

And, the opportunity to feel peaceful exists when I stay right here, right now. In this very moment. And, then the next moment. And then, the next.

"Something wonderful begins to happen with the simple realization that life, like an automobile, is driven from the inside out, not the other way around. As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, rather than focusing on where you would rather be, you begin to find peace right now, in the present. Then, as you move around, try new things, and meet new people, you carry that sense of inner peace with you. It's absolutely true that, "Wherever you go, there you are." Richard Carlson, author, “Slowing Down to the Speed of Life” and “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff …And, It’s All Small Stuff.”

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like support for reconnecting with who you are and focusing on being more present in your everyday life? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and read how people are living more intentionally.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Trudeau--one of the juicy Clementine's from my self-care workshop.

Being Present

I love it when the Universe calls me up to the plate, puts a bat in my hands, throws me a big old curve ball and sees how I’m going to react.

I’m really getting the opportunity to practice what I preach right now.

My husband was layed off two weeks ago (he’s doing great, thanks for all your prayers, support and leads for software quality assurance jobs) and is focusing on his job search. While he is feeling calm, excited for what’s next and hopeful about finding something he loves that is close to our home, I am feeling a bit anxious (I had big plans for this summer that may have to change—read more).

I have a deep knowingness that everything will unfold for the best, but I’m finding myself having a hard time staying present.

Summer is my favorite time of year—I love the fresh peaches and basil, I love taking long/cold plunges at Deep Eddy, I love reading, reading and more reading and I love enjoying a slower pace with my family.

I don’t want to give this up and am very mindful that if I allow myself to be preoccupied with worry or go into “the spin cycle” around finances, summer will pass me by and I’ll wake up on Labor Day, having missed some of the best days of the year!

So my intention moving forward is to pause frequently, to enjoy this wonderful, special time of year in Central Texas, to take time to make blueberry-banana smoothies on a stick (my 8 year-old's newest invention) and roasted veggie pizzas, to enjoy lazy, evening neighborhood walks with friends/family, to relish swimming in Texas' many wonderful natural springs and to remember that just because life has thrown us a curve ball, doesn’t mean we have to step out of the game.

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like to learn strategies for being more present and slowing down? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE June 17th Live Inside Out teleclass for couples on Staying Connected to Your Partner.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My son and I take a closer look at a small, sweet frog at Hamilton Pool while on a hike.

What's Your Speed Limit This Summer?

Thanks for all the great dialogue from my last post on Relationships.

I really enjoyed your insights and comments on relationships on our Live Inside Out community. If you'd like some great relationship tips, sign up to get my monthly Life Balance newsletter for some ideas on how Personal Renewal Group members worldwide stay connected to their partners and mark your calendar to join us on June 17th for a free couples teleclass on this topic (details at the end of this post).

As I head into my son's last week of school, make sure all my summer camp registrations are in, wrap up with our college interns who are graduating, work with my team on our staff summer vacation schedule, map out my interview/media/event deadlines, take care of end-of-school-year stuff, schedule key business meetings in June, plan for my July writing sabbatical and reflect on my professional/personal goals for the summer, I'm very clear I want this summer to be slow. I'd say speed limit-wise-- around 35 mph.

I'm sure this speed will fluctuate from time to time, I'll get written up for a few warnings and undoubtedly a few speed bumps will put me in my place, but overall, I want 35 mph to be my average cruise control setting through the month of July.

There are many things I want to accomplish on the business-front and home-front, but I can feel my body begging for me to slooowwww way down. And as my wise 8 year-old son says, "Slower is better, mom."

Check out my post on Summer of .... if you're in the same boat and really thinking about what kind of summer you want to experience over the next 10 weeks or so (in Texas, summer comes early!).

I'm sure everyone's speed will vary depending on their career/life stage and needs (the summer I wrote my first book, I was cruising at a steady 55 all summer long), but regardless, it's fun to think what speed limit you'd like to adopt this summer.

And if you like, share your maximum mph on our Live Inside Out community. Maybe we can all support each other in avoiding getting pulled over too often.

Also, I encourage you to check out my friend Beth's peaceful family tips from her beautiful new book "A Moment’s Peace: A Mom’s Guide to Creating Calm Amidst Chaos."

JOIN A GROUP, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR DIALOGUE WITH ME: Would you like support for getting in touch with your needs and reconnecting with who you are? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE June 17th Live Inside Out teleclass for couples on Staying Connected to Your Partner and our June 11th The Empowered Entrepreneur workshop.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you create balance in your relationship.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Sacramento, CA