Doing Mania

This is the time of year that many of us feel more like human doings than human beings.

Yesterday afternoon, my husband and seven-year old son went out to work on costumes for one of my husband’s upcoming Samba gigs.

I had been looking forward to this rare present all day: two to three hours of quiet time alone in my house!

After they left, I hopped online to take care of a few timely work-related items (rare for me as I try to stay offline on the weekends).

Forty-five-minutes later, I looked up and—irritated-- felt the sands of time sifting through my fingertips. My mind started racing as I thought of all the things I had wanted to do during this window—gardening, hiking, baking, cleaning out my closet, “pure fun” reading, biking (it was gorgeous and sunny in Austin yesterday). And as I noticed all of these distractions waving and running by with hopeful smiles like contestants on the Price is Right, I found my irritation subsiding and realized what I really needed to “do”—was nothing at all.

Finally, I grabbed a blanket and headed out into our backyard, found the warmest, sunniest spot I could and laid down on the grass (of course my notepad and pen were handy in case I got a sudden inspiration to write a novel!).

Can you relate?

I think there are three kinds of people:
1. Those who feel they have to “do” to be worthy (they’re constantly in motion; this was me up until about age 35)
2. Those who feel they need to “do their work” before they relax and play (I’m in this camp with millions of other Puritan work ethic devotees)
3. Those who have no guilt ever about relaxing and playing at any time! (My husband sleeps here—in his book “any time is the right time for relaxing!”)

The wonderful, wise author/mind-body expert Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. says, "Remember—your to-do list is immortal. It will live on long after you’re dead."

Being very skilled at the “doing dance,” I can honestly share that it’s quite seductive.

We’re rewarded –particularly in the U.S.—for output. You don’t hear anyone say, “Can you believe how often she says ‘no’ and how much she’s slowed down? Wow, what a role model!”

There are many dangers that come from over-doing, but I think one of the deadliest—and scariest for me when I go into over-drive-- is we forget who we are.

I’ve heard many of our Career Strategists clients share in the last ten years “Isn’t there more? I feel like I just go to work, take care of the kids, handle my endless work/home obligations, sleep on the weekends and then start all over again Monday morning.”

When we don’t balance “doing” with “being,” we begin to feel like human robots instead of the juicy, creative, vibrant, alive beings that we are.

And we forget that “Life is not a thing to be managed, it’s a mystery to be lived.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ll take meandering through a mystery over planning out a summer camp schedule and finding a new way to cook chicken breasts, any day.

AN INVITATION: Interested in playing with balancing doing vs. being and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events--including March 26th and April 23-25 spring renewal retreats--here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to register for our Feb. 23rd FREE evening teleclass on Good is Good Enough: Releasing Perfection. And sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Robot painting: Lisa Beebe.

Dancing with the Devil

The “devil” –if he lives—is our own negative thought patterns dragging us through the dirt into a self-created hell. Whether we choose or refuse this dance is fortunately up to us. Anonymous

Have you ever had something really “bad” happen and then right on its heels, other “bad” things keep happening? And then, you find yourself just waiting--or maybe even seeking out--the next roadblock in your path?

This recently happened to me. I just permanently lost ten years of intellectual property including a book manuscript from a remote back-up hard drive (this was the only copy). From there, things seem to keep getting worse. At the same time I was engaged in this drama, I was also observing my own thinking. It was as if a part of me was saying “Come on Universe—is that all you’ve got?! You can do better than that! Bring it on!”

Can you relate?

This negative downward spiraling thinking can be quite seductive (just look at Van Gogh), but it’s the dance of despair. I remember being a young girl and watching my mom engage in this two-step quite often—it was truly like a watching a runaway train.

It’s quite easy to pull up a chair and feast at the all-you-can-eat negative thought buffet and focus on what is going wrong rather than what is going right. (Many psychologists will argue that this is our natural orientation.)

But it’s exhausting. And, it gets old really fast.

So this morning, after my slew of “bad luck,” I became tired of this game and challenged myself to come up with three things that are really going “right” in my life right now. Simple, but it works. (And usually I can easily come up with more than three!)

This exercise helped me gain perspective and remember, oh yeah, emotions are like clouds. If I'm feeling discomfort in the moment, hang tight. The weather forecast is due to change shortly!

So my dance with the devil has ended for now. He’ll have to go find another gullible partner. I’m moving on.

AN INVITATION: Interested in experiencing more balance in 2010 and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events, including our highly popular, bi-annual Jan. 29th The Career Strategy Workshop here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to register for our Feb. 23rd FREE evening teleclass on Good is Good Enough: Releasing Perfection. And sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: The merry-go-round in the Boston Commons. It's goes round and round, just like our negative thinking. Will you get off or stay on?

Don't Be Afraid of Your Shadow

Traditionally the days before my Jan. 7th birthday are often the darkest days of the year for me. I often get sick—which is rare—and any anxieties, worries or fears that might have been buried over the past year, surface like long forgotten relatives.

I used to cringes with discomfort when these feelings came on (I am an optimist and am blessed with a high “happiness set point” the majority of the time).

But this year, I sat and had tea with my shadow (a psychological term introduced by Jung that encompasses everything in us that is unconscious, repressed, undeveloped and denied; the dark rejected aspects of our being). And although I could have easily “justified” my unhappiness with a long list of socially acceptable woes, I didn’t even try.

Some of the gifts that came from this insightful--though not delightful--time, include:
• The opportunity to dive inward and experience deep reflection (essential for well-being and balance; you can subscribe and read more about balance from the inside out in my upcoming January life balance newsletter)
• The chance to ask for help—to be reminded we’re interdependent and help is always there if we just reach out and allow others to see our vulnerability
• A powerful opportunity to experience contrast—between really feeling good and feeling crappy—and to acknowledge gratitude for the ability to experience joy
• That this is essential housekeeping—clean out the old and make space for the new (my theme for the New Year is wide open—more to come on this in my January career strategy newsletter)
• It allows us—if we choose—to practice trusting and knowing that "this too shall pass"
• The opportunity to ask the question “what are we de-pressing that is trying to surface?" (my wise brother who navigates a wide spectrum of moods believes depression comes on when we're de-pressing something that is trying to come to light)
• We get to visit the most unpopular vacation destination known to man--“the unknown”--and realize that's it not as bad as the brochures lead us to believe
• The chance to revisit old stuck patterns and thoughts--repetitive worries or fears—and to ask if we’re ready to find a new dance partner?

Now on the other side of the moat, I realize that more than anything, I am grateful to have the opportunity to pause. To reflect. And to realize that if my thinking, perspective, relationships or career/business course is heading in a direction that doesn’t feel right, I have the ability to re-set my GPS and pick a different route. At any time. Thank God.

AN INVITATION: Interested in experiencing more balance in 2010 and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events, including our highly popular, bi-annual Jan. 29th The Career Strategy Workshop here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to register for our Jan. 21st FREE evening teleclass on Managing Your Energy and Saying No. And sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My son and I on top of Enchanted Rock (a giant pink granite dome in the Texas Hill Country) on Jan. 2nd, celebrating the arrival of the New Year.

Balancing Feelings

I lost my mom suddenly and unexpectedly in 2000—thirty days before my wedding day. She was 60 when she died. If she were still alive, today would have been her 70th birthday.

For some reason, this year in particular feels especially tender.

I’ve noticed as I get older (I’ll be 44 in a few weeks), that aging seems to soften how we view people and places. Things that used to bother us, don’t seem so important any more. The places where we feel the sharp, jagged edges of painful memories we thought we’d never be able to release—are beginning to blur and fade. Our hearts feel more open, more ready to forgive. We have more clarity around what really matters.

I used to struggle with all the mixed feelings I have around my mom (an amazing artist, musician and medical professional who battled depression most of her life); all the unfinished business we never got to work through.

But as I move into the second half of my life, I am more at ease around all my feelings related to my mom. Both the incredible explosive light and the dark, scary shadow. And the polarity (read more) and range of emotions I feel around her, doesn’t bother me so much anymore. I'm able to just be with this spectrum of feelings.

I believe we’re all doing the best we can at any given moment. How do I know what it felt like to walk her path?

If my mom were alive today, I think—and hope—she would have moved into a place of being more forgiving and gentle with herself. And that she’d be proud of me and my passion for helping other women find this place within themselves, as well.

Happy Birthday Juliana. I love you and thank you for the many gifts you shared with me. I would not being doing the work I am doing today were it not for you.

AN INVITATION: Interested in learning how to be more forgiving with yourself and tapping into the power of self-care? Learn how you can join or become trained to lead a self-renewal circle for women. And, view all upcoming events here.

Also, visit Live Inside Out to listen to past Live Inside Out teleclasses or to sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally through our Live Inside Out Facebook Community.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: My mom and dad leaving the hospital right after my birth, Houston, TX, 1966.

Loving Kindness

Every Monday morning, I send out a quick work/life effectiveness tip to our seven-person team. Most of us work virtually and we’re spread out across three states. So, I do many things to keep us all feeling connected.

These amazing women support our clients, Personal Renewal Group Facilitators, career/life balance programs and all Career Strategists and Renee Trudeau & Associates initiatives. They work daily with women and families around the world.

I had planned to share a powerful letter on my blog today that I wrote to my 35-year old self last night, but decided instead to share the message I sent to my team this morning and save the letter for next week. Here it is. I hope it might invite you to pause before you begin your day.

Dear RTA Team:

I woke up this a.m. with a funky stomach and slight headache (I think some roasted turkey that had been sitting out too long at a party was to blame) and began feeling some overwhelm creeping in as I looked at my list of goals for today.

I have a full week—prepping for our Reconnecting with Who You Are class via telephone on Thursday evening, several writing deadlines and projects due tomorrow, lots of conference calls/ meetings and several new entrepreneur clients to support this week.

But instead of succumbing to the feeling that I was behind and needed to push harder, I remembered the wonderful gifts that come from loving kindness--to self. So, I am moving slow this morning, drinking some wonderful Detox Yogi tea, tweaking my schedule a bit and trusting in the knowledge that when I am kind to my body/spirit, the Universe supports me. And, I get MORE done (rather than less!).

Try it (or at least, experiment with this idea). More on this theme from my newsletter Are You Kind to Yourself?

Take it easy and before you begin your day, check in with your body, mind and spirit. What do you need to feel nourished on the inside as well as the outside today?

Take good care. I look forward to exploring this theme more deeply with you at our upcoming October self-renewal retreat--Renee

AN INVITATION: Interested in learning how you can experience more loving kindness towards yourself and tap into the power of self-care? Consider starting/joining one of our women's self-renewal circles, signing up for our FREE September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are or attending our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings (early bird rate ends September 16th).

Also, visit Live Inside Out and sign up to receive weekly tips on how to live more intentionally by becoming a fan on our Live Inside Out Facebook page.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Painting: Mara Friedman

Running From Myself

What if you embarked on a long, arduous journey that led you the top of a mountain where a wise, sage sat waiting to deliver to you the one piece of knowledge that would allow you to fulfill all of your wildest dreams?

And, after you received this clear, true advice from the sage, you did everything you could to avoid heeding it?

I believe we already have the answers to our questions within us. And, occasionally, they surface to our consciousness. But, when this happens--how often do we do everything we can to avoid following this guidance?

In early July when I attended the amazing life-changing Shakti Saddahna women’s retreat at Kripalu we did a series of guided journaling exercises looking at when and how we block our power or potential.


After a 5-day emotional, physical and spiritual “work out,” I received very clear direction that there was only one thing I needed to do to ensure I experienced abundance, flow, creativity, passion and ease in my life: mediate 20 minutes every morning.

And, even though I normally do mediate each morning—guess what I’ve been doing for the past 3 weeks since returning? Avoiding mediating like the plague!

I set aside Wednesday-Friday of this week to do some creative visioning/planning around next steps for my company. And, I knew that starting off this mini-sabbatical with a mediation session would be incredibly beneficial.

Yet today, I had to take care of a few essential items first like: pulling weeds from the backyard, sending out an email about a dinner party, cleaning out the refrigerator, making myself a snack, making myself another snack, researching yoga/dance classes in Austin, looking up recipes for Naan bread and flitting on/off email to answer “burning questions” from my team members. You get the idea.

When I finally did surrender and meditate, I had the hilarious image appear of me boxed into a solid white room, frantically dashing around the space bouncing off one wall and the next while running from ....myself ?!

Then, the walls collapsed and I was just left standing in wide open space.

I’m reading the amazing book The Big Leap right now by Gay Hendrix (highly recommended). He talks about how it’s part of our nature to self-sabotage to keep ourselves from moving out of our comfort zone and into full expression of our power/potential.

I love exploring this theme and realize that we all need to do so with tremendous humor and the greatest compassion for self.

Send me good thoughts that my meditation practice flows with ease. Or at the very least, a great recipe for Naan bread.

P.S. Interested in reconnecting with who you are? Check out our women's self-renewal circles, our FREE September 17th Global PRG Sampler Teleclass on Reconnecting with Who You Are, my upcoming The Empowered Entrepreneur Workshop on Aug. 28th in Austin, TX or our life-changing October 2-4 Fall Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings.

Also, visit Live Inside Out and learn how you can live more intentionally (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).



The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.


Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau, dragonfly at Hamilton Pool, Texas hill country.

What We Crave: Community & Connection

Recently after speaking at a large women’s conference on the topic of life balance and living life from the inside-out, I was approached by a woman in her late thirties, her eyes were filled with tears.

She shared that while sitting in the audience and hearing me talk about building a support network, she had a light bulb moment: even though she attended a monthly girls’ night out, a book club meeting and was involved in her neighborhood association, what she is really missing is a deeper sense of connection and community with others.

I hear this a lot. From men and women all over the world, including my coaching clients, at talks I give around the country, in workshops at corporations/organizations and from moms on the playground.

We’re moving so fast, navigating the demands of a 24/7 world, expected to juggle so much and are socialized to be mostly surface in our day-to-day interactions, that many of us are left starving for what really nourishes us: heart-felt connection, dialogue around what matters most, the chance to be heard and validated and the opportunity to connect with others who are as interested in our “inner life” as our “outer life.”

This is why I started the first Personal Renewal Group for women in 2003 (read more). I believe that when we have the opportunity to connect with one another on a deeper level, in an empowering, structured environment that is focused on helping us define and create lives that truly nurture/nourish us, society as a whole begins to shift and move in a more positive direction.

Where is your soft place to fall? Who do you go to, to share what’s in your heart and on your mind? What resources/groups support and empower you? Where do you feel connected to a larger community? Where can you show up warts and all (as my mentor says) and be the “real” you?

For me (and now thousands of women around the globe), it’s when we’re in a self-renewal circle with other women. I invite you to join me this Thursday evening, June 11th --details below--for a free Personal Renewal Group sampler class and explore if starting/joining one of these groups is for you (sorry guys, women only). If not, no worries, you can still benefit from the powerful self-care tips/strategies you'll hear in the class.

I believe we were not meant to live in isolation. And, that the future of our planet will be largely dependent on our ability to create and participate in meaningful, intentional community with one another.

P.S. Join me in a virtual living room to experience a taste of a Personal Renewal Group (PRG) for women and learn about the Power of Self-Care. Register today for our free June 11th PRG Sampler class—it’s interactive, but you’re welcome to just drop in and listen. There is a “mute” option if you're in a noisy household :).

Learn more about how to Live Inside Out (and become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page).

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau--ripening blueberries on a Olympic Peninsula berry farm in WA state. Did you know they grew this closely together?