Is Life Balance Possible?

This past Thursday I delivered a keynote at a conference to a great group of mid to senior level professionals in the cable television industry.

The topic was Reclaim Your Life: Strategies and Insights for Balanced Living.

I love watching people’s faces when I present.

You can tell before I begin that--assuming they've never heard of me--they’re ready to settle back into their chairs for a boring ho-hum presentation on how to manage your time or get organized. Or that they think I look too young to possibly have anything of great value to impart.

Then, as the program unfolds, they start perking up, shifting in their chairs, taking notes, leaning forward in their seats and finally, the room gets really quiet as I challenge and guide them on a journey to slowing down and being more present; getting clear on what feeds/drains them; focusing on the power of self-renewal and building a support network (read more).

And, when I talk about how these insights will impact their sense of well-being and equilibrium more than any PDA or time management software program ever will—you can see a huge shift in their faces as they begin to feel empowered and open up to new possibilities.

I define balance as having enough time, energy and resources for those things that are most important to you in life. And what’s most important will constantly change.

Although I get hired to speak a lot on work-life balance, I am passionate about teaching men, women and families how to enhance balance in all aspects of their lives: doing vs. being, thinking vs. feeling, giving vs. receiving, working vs. playing, etc.

It’s interesting to ask yourself, “What is my mindset around the topic of life balance?” (Many professionals we work with share honestly that they think it’s unattainable, impossible, too hard, will require them to change too much or is elusive. In fact, recently one of the national groups I spoke to said they just completed an employee satisfaction survey and the majority of their employees would not even check or comment on work-life balance as they felt it was futile).

I know for me, I’m at a very different place around this topic now, than I was in my twenties and thirties (when I used to swing the pendulum from working to the bone/over-exhaustion to monthly visits to massage therapists/retreats centers or weekends away for fleeting moments of calm and peace).

I never considered that there might be a middle ground. That it is possible to experience more peace and well-being in my everyday life—day in, day out.

In my former type A, perfectionist, controlling, over-achiever way, I based my sense of “balance” on what was going on around me. If I had a boss that was difficult, a monster project to manage or a family crisis to navigate, I was convinced my sense of balance—and my health—were destined for the dumpster.

Later, I came to realize that it is possible to live in the middle of the extremes and access well-being on a daily basis—I don’t have to take a retreat or go meditate on a mountaintop for five hours to find peace. When I began to make choices that supported my emotional well-being as my #1 priority and started to look at how I can create balance from the inside-out, everything shifted.

Although it will be a lifelong journey for me (I still to this day, tend to over-commit to things I love to do), I think I’d sum up my current mantra for balance as “A day-to-day choice.” And, the constant reminder to be gentle with myself is ever-present.

What’s your mantra or mindset towards life balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

JOIN US FOR AN UPCOMING EVENT: Would you like support for creating life balance from the inside-out? Join us in the cool Berkshire mountains in MA this coming August at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet and the retreat center that I visit when I'm ready to make a huge life shift! More upcoming events here.

Visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our FREE May 18th Live Inside Out teleclass on Reclaiming Adventure in Your Life and our June 11th The Empowered Entrepreneur workshop.
Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and share how you slow down and unplug.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: St. Francis of Assisi church at Rancho de Taos. Taken on a family trip to New Mexico last summer.

Re-Defining Balance

The other night at dinner my eight year-old son asked us what “ponder” means.

It got me thinking.

Lately, I’ve been getting clearer that I want to reduce the number of hours I work each week.

I am really feeling a strong pull to be even more present with my family and to have more time for family-related activities, like unscheduled downtime in the evenings and cooking (something my son loves to do, too).

While I have a flexible schedule and have created a work day that supports me in picking up my son from school most days –which I am incredibly grateful for-- the pace of my schedule is still too fast.

I want to have time to occasionally go to lunch with friends, take a break to enjoy my hammock or even read the newspaper (none of which I feel I have time to do now as I'm juggling hundreds of daily emails, phone calls, interviews, clients, events, deadlines and programs).

What I’m realizing is the schedule that worked great for me a year ago, doesn’t work for me now.

I define balance as having enough time, energy and resources for those things that matter most—at this particular life stage.

I’m acutely aware that life with my sweet second grader is fleeting and in no time at all, he’ll be leaving for college!

I also know that our wonderful, relaxed family meals every night looking out at the woods behind our house, the incredibly tender evening bed time routine and the thoughtful, heartfelt conversations I enjoy with my precious family are as good as it gets.

So, I intend to map out this new work schedule—which will start Sept. 1--this summer.

I don’t know how I’ll get there—two full-time national businesses do require a fair amount of energy. But, I’m not worried. I know the solution will present itself because I’m so clear and committed to what is most important to me right now and to how I want to spend my time.

And, because ultimately I want to teach my son not just how to observe, think or deliberate (which to me all denote a desired outcome) … I want to teach him about the importance of taking time to ponder life's questions. And I want the time and space to do the same.

JOIN US FOR A RETREAT: Would you like support in re-defining what balanced living means to you? Join us April 23-25 Refresh, Reclaim, Re-Balance: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat at The Crossings Spa & Resort in Austin, TX, but sign up today to ensure your spot. Or, escape to the cool mountains in August and join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for our Self-Renewal Retreat in the MA Berkshires, Aug. 13-15. One of my favorite spots on the planet!

FREE DOWNLOAD of Courageous Parents, Confident Kids: Letting Go So You Both Can Grow--an exciting new anthology including a special section from Renee on the power of self-care. SIGN UP TODAY to get your free copy on April 19-21 only!

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: A view of the Boston Harbor from Boston's downtown greenway. A wonderful invitation to ponder what it might have been like to live in this area in the 1700's.

Spirituality

I had a very unusual upbringing (read more). My parents were what most people would call spiritual “seekers.”

Questions about how we connect to our divinity or the sacred --what most people refer to as spirituality--were constantly on the forefront of my parent’s minds (my siblings’ godparents include a beautiful Irish nun named Aine and Swami Satchidananda, the founder of Integral Yoga).

Although there was a lot of emotional discord in our house, we always knew God was very important to my parents and that there were many paths to reach him/her. Interestingly, my mother was raised Presbyterian and my father Methodist; they converted to Catholicism after their third child was born. From there, their journey continued on to include many different Eastern and Western teachings.

For me personally, to feel balance, equilibrium and a sense of well-being in my life, a spiritual “practice” is a necessity (you can read more about the fascinating research I did last summer around the topic of Everyday Spirituality).

And, when I speak to a corporation, organization or at a conference and am asked to lead a Life Balance workshop around the power of self-renewal, when I touch on the four areas of renewal—physical, mental, emotional, spiritual—and ask participants to focus on the area that most needs their attention right now, you know what most of them say?

Yep, spiritual renewal is at the top of their list.

Last night, while my husband performed with his Brazilian Samba group at Carnaval,
I had a much tamer night, relaxing at home and purging my closet (you know how it is when you get bit by the “purge bug”—you gotta run with it!).

While sorting through my closet and trying to decide what clothes I loved and what had to go, I listened to music and stumbled across this great panel discussion on Oprah’s Soul Series on Spirituality (check it out, definitely worth your time!).

A reoccurring theme that this panel touched on and that I hear many of my friends discuss—particularly parents—is how their religious upbringing scared them away from talking or thinking about spirituality, God or being a part of a spiritual community (whether that’s a church, a meditation or prayer circle or a spiritually-focused book group).

What about you? How were your raised? Are you currently involved in that church? Have you converted to a different religion? Do you talk to your kids about God or the sacred in everyday life? Do you have a daily spiritual practice?

I would love to hear about your personal story.

I really think when we share our own reflections around spirituality, it enriches and deepens our collective experience. I look forward to hearing a little about your journey.

Photo: My almost seven-year old after he reached the top of Enchanted Rock --by far, my greatest spiritual teacher.