Let Go

The person closest to me in the world had their performance review last week.

He mentioned about two weeks ago that he wanted some coaching to prepare for this (this is something I get paid big bucks to do for others on a regular basis and am very skilled at—I was happy to be asked to provide my expertise and to impact our family’s income).

Then, while brushing our teeth one night last week, he casually mentioned that he had gotten the date wrong and the deadline for submitting information for his review, had come and gone.

My brushing stopped, my jaw dropped and I stood in disbelief (this has actually happened many times before .... I’ll let you run with your theory around this one). Right away, I could feel an army of thoughts lining up in my mind, preparing for rapid fire.

A few days later I was wrapping up an intense week and lots of work deadlines in order to be able to head to the beach for the weekend with my family Saturday morning. I experienced a series of stressful events that afternoon—a schedule glitch, a miscommunication, a technical malfunction, a lost check, a plan that fell to pieces—that left me feeling like everything was going from bad to worse.

It felt like I was sitting on a pile of tumbled dominoes and my swirling negative thoughts were preparing to move from a small tornado into a powerful full-scale downward spiral.

But after I heard the news from my beloved about his performance review and my harried work day turned south (and I stewed for a few minutes)—something surprising happened.

I paused.

Feeling how familiar this terrain was in both instances, I asked myself, “Is this REALLY where you want to go with this?” No. What I really wanted was to just let it go. And that's what I did.

I think it’s so easy to forget we always have the ability to just LET GO. I don’t always do it and sometimes the allure of a good argument is more than I can resist. But, more and more, I’m pausing to check in and ask if this is really the train I want to get on right now? Or do I want to wave it on, and let it keep going.

P.S. Interested in meeting monthly with other women who also want to practice pausing and letting go? Join thousands of women around the world who are gathering in small intentional self-renewal circles. And, join people everywhere who are learning to Live Inside Out (become a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page). Want to taste a self-renewal circle? Don’t forget to sign up for the free June 11th for our PRG “Sampler.”

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau, Hoh Rainforest, Olympic National Peninsula, WA.

A Soft Place to Fall

“Your ordinary self is enough.” Carol Orsborn, author/speaker

I recently spoke at a national women’s conference and had a wonderful conversation with a woman from South Africa who leads groups for domestic violence survivors in PA. We really connected around how important it is that we all have a soft place to fall: a space or place or relationship where we can show up completely ourselves-- “warts and all!”

For me, my soft places to fall are when I’m connecting with my wonderful spiritual Master Mind group (I meet twice a month with four other wonderful coaches), when I’m walking with my dear friend/neighbor in the cool evenings after kids have gone to bed, when I spend time with my sweet mentor who holds a big, big space for me, when I go to my favorite Hatha yoga class on Monday morning, when I get to spend precious time one-on-one with close friends enjoying tea or hiking, and when my husband I carve out quiet time late in the evening to connect and *really* listen to one another.

Where are your soft places to fall? Who can you come to or where you can show up 100% you and share what's on your heart/mind, no matter how wacky or off-balance you feel? Where can you go where you know you’ll be accepted unconditionally? Where the listener has no agenda other than to support, love and hold a space for you to experience whatever you’re going through in the moment?

When I first became acquainted with the concept of self-care and learned that it’s much more than pedicures and massages, one of the most loving things I started to do for myself was to release self-criticism and judgment. And to allow myself to receive support, be less than perfect and show up authentically and very, very human.

This week, reflect on how you can be more kind to yourself (enjoy this self-kindness exercise) and where your soft places to fall are? Often the support is already present, we just have to let down our defenses to allow ourselves to really be seen—warts and all.

P.S. Join thousands of women every month who are meeting in small intentional self-renewal circles around the US and experiencing a soft place to fall. Interested in living more intentionally every day? Check out Live Inside Out or becoming a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page. Want to taste a self-renewal circle? Don’t forget to sign up for the free June 11th for our PRG “Sampler.”

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau, lavender farm on the Olympic Peninsula, WA.

I’ll Be Happy When ....?

I am in the middle of a big international launch right now to share the self-care themes from my book with the world.

The year-long celebration, which kicks off this Mother’s Day weekend, was inspired by a “visit” from my dad, who passed suddenly and unexpectedly in 1996. Read more here.

I believe passionately that the Personal Renewal Group (PRG) Program --self-renewal circles for women meeting around The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal-- have the potential to shift our culture in dramatic and positive ways.

This is why I chose to give this gift and invest so much time and so many resources around this Live Inside Out launch and book giveaway. (I also have an amazing team of volunteers helping, too!)

Yesterday, as people from around the globe began to download the book I started to feel nervous.

I SO want those who read this book—which truthfully, came “through me”-- to be touched, moved, to want to explore this concept of the power of self-care/reconnecting with self and how it can change their lives. (And, if they feel moved, to start/join PRGS.)

And I noticed I was feeling that old alluring “I’ll be happy when ...(fill in the blank)” feeling creeping in.

If I can help others in such a lasting and profound way, surely this experience will bring me inner peace and happiness ....right?

As I moved through my day on Friday—mediating in the morning, volunteering at my son’s end of year Field Day, returning calls and emails, helping a new client who is struggling with their career path, picking up a taco at the local Mexican café, connecting with staff, working and then going to a Hatha flow yoga class, I kept reflecting on this ‘I’ll be happy when ....” thought.

What bring me lasting happiness, I already have: the opportunity to give/receive love, connection with family and close friends, being in nature, the opportunity to serve others and moment to moment--the ability to feel peaceful no matter what is going on around me.

Nothing, no matter how juicy or enticing it looks, can bring me lasting happiness.
I already have everything I need ..... right now. And it comes from the inside-out.

P.S. Lear more about how you can join the LIVE INSIDE OUT revolution by checking out the LIO page or becoming a fan on the Live Inside Out Facebook page. Check out the really cool LIO t-shirts, too. I’m wearing mine and everyone that sees it loves it!

SIGN UP TODAY---ONLY 48 HOUR LEFT! Over Mother’s Day Weekend May 8th-10th, go to http://www.mothersguidetoselfrenewal.com/ to get your free download of this award-winning book—a $20 value. And make sure and share it with your friends. For women of all ages, the book has received rave reviews.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.

Photo: My son showing off his prizes from a raspberry farm on the Olympic Peninsula in WA last August. These beauties ended up in cornmeal pancakes with honey butter two hours later!

We Are All One

A couple of weeks ago, my son and I were out watering some new plants in our yard.

He called out to me in a very disturbed voice to come over to the sidewalk that runs along the side of our home. He had discovered a dead pigeon. It was beautiful and looked like it was sleeping.

My seven year-old is very sensitive and was deeply moved by the bird’s death.

This incident created opportunities to talk about topics related to death, spirituality and the cycle of life (he is deeply inquisitive/empathetic in nature). But his comment that stayed with me long past dinner and bedtime into the next day was, “Mom, the reason this upsets me so much is we are all the same. When the bird gets hurt, it’s like one of us getting hurt. We’re all connected, right?”

I do believe we’re all one. But most of the time, this feels like a mental concept for me.

It’s rare that I “feel” this connection, even though I do believe it is always present.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to lead a Self-Renewal Retreat at the beautiful Crossings Spa and Retreat Center for 30 women from around the world (their ages ranged from 31-66).

The women were all at different life stages—single, newly married, mothering young kids, making career changes, hitting milestone birthdays, contemplating divorce, beginning to unleash their creativity, starting the journey to heal from past wounds and waking up to the idea that they actually could course-correct and begin to create a life that deeply nourished them.

By the end of the weekend, even though our circumstances or life stages might “look” different, we could all sense how deeply our lives, fears, hopes and dreams were interwoven.

As we gathered that last day in the drizzly rain around the labyrinth, we could all feel this “human fabric” and that undeniably, there was much more that bonded us, than separated us.

I’m curious, what things in your life help you tap into the we are all one feeling?

For me, it’s when I am deeply connected to others in a women’s self-renewal circle, when I get the opportunity teach/speak to groups, when I hike on the greenbelt and see others out in nature, when I hear a mother’s pain as she cares for her sick child, when I coach a client who is crying because they are so ready to align who they are with what they do in the world or when I watch fear rise and fall in reaction to the Swine Flu.

And, it's when I get quiet, follow my intuition and tap into a universal need (Live Inside Out celebration launching this Friday which includes a free download of my book, is one way I hope to bring the “we are all one” theme into American households).

I’d love to hear when and how you feel this deep connection to humanity.

Resources: I stumbled across this video of Nobel Peace Prize winner Desmond Tutu receiving an award from an organization called Humanity’s Team. He talks about how this concept is so relevant right now and a universal theme we all can’t help but explore.

LIVE INSIDE OUT Celebration May 8th-10th--Join us!Do you have a copy of our award-winning book The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life? If not, sign up for my life balance newsletter at www.reneetrudeau.com today and receive a free download of the book in your inbox over Mother’s Day Weekend May 8th-10th (for 48 hours only). Feel free to share this amazing gift—a $20 value-- with your friends around the globe! For women of all ages, the book has received rave reviews.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. Subscribe here. For more information on Renee’s upcoming events, click here.