Do you ever find yourself playing the "I know I'll be happy when .....(fill in the blank: I've finished my project, I have a new job, I'm done with school, my divorce is finalized, my client has paid me, I've figured out what my life purpose is, etc., etc.)?
My husband and I were talking late last night about how deadly this game can be (meaning you can miss out on the simple, day-to-day joys of life if you get too caught up the "future game").
I went in and out of this mindset last year as I rode the "start up mode" waves, busily launching and birthing a new national women's program. When I got stressed out by deadlines or demands from others and wasn't being present or even fun to be around, I would sometimes get lured into the false promise of "but I know I'll be truly happy and stress-free, when ...."
What makes you happy? (I challenge you: grab a piece of paper and a pen and write out the top five things that come to mind.) I find tremendous joy and satisfaction in curling up by the fire and playing a game with my son and husband, making a great meal and serving it to friends or family, hiking in nature and really appreciating its beauty and mystery, hearing a piece of music or seeing a dance performance that moves me deeply or feeling enough spaciousness in my day and schedule to be able to stop and connect with friends or associates I come in contact with throughout the day.
While I may feel brief satisfaction after completing a large project or even enjoy the momentary high that comes from being asked to do something new/big/fun, these things don't permanently impact how happy I am--and, sometimes, they adversely affect my joy and well-being (particulary if they involve more work on my part that results in less downtime with my family).
More and more, I'm realizing that the less I feel I "have to do," (expectations!) and the simpler my life is, the happier I am. I think deep down, we ALL feel this way. Even though this message is the exact opposite of what the media and in many ways, society in general, would have us believe.
Does the answer (to the quest for happines) really revolve around simplicity? I'd love to hear your reflections on this topic.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Peace in the Eye of the Storm
Happy 2008 (have you noticed all the "2008 is going to be great" bumper stickers everywhere?! ...I'm hoping this group intention will affect us all very positively!).
I got two doses of black eyes peas yesterday (one veggie style with lots of cumin-yum--and one with a ham hock, really flavorful). I love this tradition and of course eating lots of hot buttery cornbread with these steaming bowls of goodness is a must. Both of these peafests were shared with good friends and my son/husband--what a wonderful way to usher in this new year.
This morning I went for a walk on a hike/bike trail that encircles a lake near downtown Austin. It was about 31 degrees, which in Texas, means hardly anyone else was out walking! Halfway around, I felt pulled to stop and sit on a lakeside bench. The spot was very quiet--no one around, just still waters, weeping willow trees and a few slow moving ducks. Across the lake I could see and faintly hear one of our busiest expressways. Most were probably driving to work--some maybe be feeling the post-holiday, backlog-of-work calling their names. (I can relate, my a.m. to-do list this Wednesday feels somewhat daunting. Deep breaths ....)
As I sat and observed the contrast of stillness/business, I felt a blanket of calm peace wash over me.
My intention for the holiday season was to remain calm/peaceful in the eye of the storm no matter what drama or excitement (healthy or unhealthy) was unfolding around me.
I think I'll carry this intention into January and beyond as well.
There is something really empowering and comforting about knowing no matter how crazy or exciting or insane things get around us, we really can choose to access that quiet, still space that resides within. For me, returning to this place, feels like going home. Sometimes I get lost or distracted, but it's alwasy there, waiting.
I got two doses of black eyes peas yesterday (one veggie style with lots of cumin-yum--and one with a ham hock, really flavorful). I love this tradition and of course eating lots of hot buttery cornbread with these steaming bowls of goodness is a must. Both of these peafests were shared with good friends and my son/husband--what a wonderful way to usher in this new year.
This morning I went for a walk on a hike/bike trail that encircles a lake near downtown Austin. It was about 31 degrees, which in Texas, means hardly anyone else was out walking! Halfway around, I felt pulled to stop and sit on a lakeside bench. The spot was very quiet--no one around, just still waters, weeping willow trees and a few slow moving ducks. Across the lake I could see and faintly hear one of our busiest expressways. Most were probably driving to work--some maybe be feeling the post-holiday, backlog-of-work calling their names. (I can relate, my a.m. to-do list this Wednesday feels somewhat daunting. Deep breaths ....)
As I sat and observed the contrast of stillness/business, I felt a blanket of calm peace wash over me.
My intention for the holiday season was to remain calm/peaceful in the eye of the storm no matter what drama or excitement (healthy or unhealthy) was unfolding around me.
I think I'll carry this intention into January and beyond as well.
There is something really empowering and comforting about knowing no matter how crazy or exciting or insane things get around us, we really can choose to access that quiet, still space that resides within. For me, returning to this place, feels like going home. Sometimes I get lost or distracted, but it's alwasy there, waiting.
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