I remember the final two years working as a communications director for a multi-faceted organization before I left to start Career Strategists, as being one of the most frustrating and often difficult, periods of my life.
I knew I was ready for something totally different, but I just didn’t know what it was. I was in the valley and wanted out—NOW! I wanted to know what awaited me and I was tired of waiting for it. One of the many inspirations that helped me make it through that period and get in touch with my own inner wisdom, was “Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life,” by Gregg Levoy. He shares that when you follow a calling, you can usually be assured you’ll be surfing waves of fear and uncertainty on a continual basis, but--you will never feel more alive (scared as hell, but living large!).
In many ways, I feel I’m back there again.
In 2003, halfway through leading my first Personal Renewal Group, I remember very vividly, sitting at a coffee house with my laptop in front me, thinking “there is no way I have the time—or even desire—to write a book (PRG members had been sharing our group exercises with their friends around the U.S. and kept asking for a ‘workbook’).”
Immediately after this thought, I placed my fingers on the keys and said, “Ok, if I were to consider writing this, what would the titles of the twelve chapters be (we follow a month-by-month format)?” In five minutes the themed chapter titles (that you currently see in the Guide) were staring back at me and I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck. I remember thinking, “something is going on here and I have a feeling, it’s bigger than me.”
Fast forward almost four years and numerous life changes later, and I have made the (crazy?) decision to cash out our savings/retirement and self-fund a national women’s initiative centered around “The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal.”
Our formal launch is this month and the response to the program has been incredibly encouraging (when I get an email from a woman in Vancouver or Madison or Sacramento interested in starting or joining a Personal Renewal Group, it makes my day!). But, it doesn’t mean I don’t have many hours and days when I wonder “did I sign up for this?", “when do I get my old life back?” and “how do I sustain a national initiative emotionally and financially through its early stages?”
And the answer is, “who knows?” The first group I started was purely out of my own need to have a dialogue with mothers beyond what our kids were eating, doing or saying. And, to really explore and dive into what this transition means to each of us and how we reconnect with who we are. And, ten groups later now, I keep leading PRGs because they help me stay grounded and remind me about the power of self-care and who I really am.
Honestly, I feel as though I was tapped on the shoulder to help shepherd these messages along and all this just happens to be unfolding at a time when mothers are really ready for this work and to begin sharing/ supporting one another in deeper ways. Who’s to say what will unfold over the next twelve months. Whatever it may be, I am grateful for the experiences thus far and while serving others is incredibly fulfilling, I know how important it is to also keep my self-care and my family’s emotional well-being in check, too. (More later--this was a big challenge this past spring.)
I have always resonated with the phrase, “Life is not a business to be managed, it’s a mystery to be lived.” Looking forward to embracing more of the mystery this summer.
P.S. Check out an excerpt from “Callings,” at: http://www.gregglevoy.com/character_courage_callings.html. A truly amazing book.
P.S.S. If you feel your calling is focused around empowering other women, you might want to consider getting trained to lead a Personal Renewal Group. If you do, buckle your seatbelt, it's quite a ride!
Friday, May 25, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Magical Night of Self-Renewal
Earlier this month we hosted our national book/project launch at Mercury Hall (a 100-year old church that now serves as a funky, beautiful event space) in Austin, TX.
It was called “An Evening of Self-Renewal: Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance” and close to 250 people came out to celebrate and experience the amazing creative diva, Sara Hickman (http://www.sarahickman/), nibble on treats from Whole Foods Market, enjoy wine from our
local favorite urban grocer, “Whip In,” hear amazing storytelling from Austin mamas, a little from me on the evolution of this national women’s initiative and celebrate the growing “self care revolution.”
It was incredible to be with so many women—mostly mothers—in their 20s, 30s, 40s. 50s and 60s (and a few brave men) and feel such a sense of connection and intimacy even though the group was pretty large. Mamas and daughters danced together and friends laughed and cried over profoundly real--and sometimes raw--stories about the journey we call motherhood. It was pretty magical. We’re all still riding the wave from this amazing experience. It was a wonderful way to celebrate Mother's Day AND launch our women’s initiative. It's been fun to hear how the experience touched those that were there (was pretty unforgettable--I highly recommend Sara Hickman's CD "Motherlode," which honors the dark side and light side of being a mama).
At the event, it sent chills down my spine to flip through our local Personal Renewal Group binder, which held flyers for all the local Groups starting this summer. It was really moving to see how these incredible women are sharing the messages highlighted in the Guide through their own unique voices. And, how they're expressing their creativity through their groups.
It was called “An Evening of Self-Renewal: Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance” and close to 250 people came out to celebrate and experience the amazing creative diva, Sara Hickman (http://www.sarahickman/), nibble on treats from Whole Foods Market, enjoy wine from our
local favorite urban grocer, “Whip In,” hear amazing storytelling from Austin mamas, a little from me on the evolution of this national women’s initiative and celebrate the growing “self care revolution.”
It was incredible to be with so many women—mostly mothers—in their 20s, 30s, 40s. 50s and 60s (and a few brave men) and feel such a sense of connection and intimacy even though the group was pretty large. Mamas and daughters danced together and friends laughed and cried over profoundly real--and sometimes raw--stories about the journey we call motherhood. It was pretty magical. We’re all still riding the wave from this amazing experience. It was a wonderful way to celebrate Mother's Day AND launch our women’s initiative. It's been fun to hear how the experience touched those that were there (was pretty unforgettable--I highly recommend Sara Hickman's CD "Motherlode," which honors the dark side and light side of being a mama).
At the event, it sent chills down my spine to flip through our local Personal Renewal Group binder, which held flyers for all the local Groups starting this summer. It was really moving to see how these incredible women are sharing the messages highlighted in the Guide through their own unique voices. And, how they're expressing their creativity through their groups.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
This Too Shall Pass
What a full month April has been! Our first in-person training for Personal Renewal Group (PRG) Facilitators at the Crossings here in Austin, was incredibly inspiring and moving. And, we’re getting emails weekly from women around the U.S., Canada and beyond who are getting trained online and starting their own PRGs---their excitement and passion has been contagious!
I really believe as Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. shares in “The Millionth Circle: How to Change Ourselves and the World” that intentional, sacred “women’s circles” have the power to change the world as women play such a huge—and key—role in their families, communities and our larger interdependent communities and networks (picture the powerful “pebble creating waves of change” image).
I also experienced a couple of weeks at the end of April that were probably in all honesty, one of the hardest periods I’ve had in about ten years. Much of it was due to what I call the “convergence factor” (we can usually handle dealing with a relationship that’s out of whack OR a family of origin issue OR work/office challenges OR upheaval in our child’s life, but when they all converge and hit us at the same time, it can bring on a lot of uncomfortable feelings, to say the least!).
Interestingly, I noticed that when I shared my feelings of sadness, hurt or despair with friends, most wanted to rush in and “fix me,” offering a list of activities or distractions to (very lovingly) help pull me out of feeling what I was feeling. (And, we all do this. We care deeply about our friends and don’t like to see them in pain.)
At the tail end of this emotional wave, I had the pleasure and honor of attending a workshop on the marriage of the masculine/feminine archetypes or qualities (exploring how we balance traditionally male characteristics like “taking action” with traditionally feminine elements like “listening to our gut”), lead by author/speaker Anita Johnston, Ph.D., who wrote “Eating in the Light of the Moon.”
On the topic of being with our feelings, she shares (from her book):
”So, when a feeling comes knocking on your door, don’t run and hide and pretend no one is home. Don’t slam the door in her face and say ‘Get lost! I’m busy and don’t want to be bothered.” Invite her in. Ask her, ‘what brings you here?’ Get to know her. Go with her. Thank her for her gifts. Treat her presence with honor and respect. For she is truly your friend and is there to help. Feelings are like fluid waves of energy. Like the waves we see in the ocean, they come in, peak, and pass, come in, peak, and pass. They have a natural cyclical rhythm like the ebb and flow of tides, the waning and waxing of the moon. The flow of feeling is as natural as the flow of life itself.”
And there it is. It seems there really is a lot of wisdom in the words “this too shall pass.”
Looking forward to riding the next wave :).
P.S. Hope to see any of you in Texas at our national launch party May 9th at Mercury Hall. Will be a magical, inspiring evening of music, storytelling and great food and wine! You can register via www.reneetrudeau.com. Hurry though, looks like we'll sell out!
I really believe as Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. shares in “The Millionth Circle: How to Change Ourselves and the World” that intentional, sacred “women’s circles” have the power to change the world as women play such a huge—and key—role in their families, communities and our larger interdependent communities and networks (picture the powerful “pebble creating waves of change” image).
I also experienced a couple of weeks at the end of April that were probably in all honesty, one of the hardest periods I’ve had in about ten years. Much of it was due to what I call the “convergence factor” (we can usually handle dealing with a relationship that’s out of whack OR a family of origin issue OR work/office challenges OR upheaval in our child’s life, but when they all converge and hit us at the same time, it can bring on a lot of uncomfortable feelings, to say the least!).
Interestingly, I noticed that when I shared my feelings of sadness, hurt or despair with friends, most wanted to rush in and “fix me,” offering a list of activities or distractions to (very lovingly) help pull me out of feeling what I was feeling. (And, we all do this. We care deeply about our friends and don’t like to see them in pain.)
At the tail end of this emotional wave, I had the pleasure and honor of attending a workshop on the marriage of the masculine/feminine archetypes or qualities (exploring how we balance traditionally male characteristics like “taking action” with traditionally feminine elements like “listening to our gut”), lead by author/speaker Anita Johnston, Ph.D., who wrote “Eating in the Light of the Moon.”
On the topic of being with our feelings, she shares (from her book):
”So, when a feeling comes knocking on your door, don’t run and hide and pretend no one is home. Don’t slam the door in her face and say ‘Get lost! I’m busy and don’t want to be bothered.” Invite her in. Ask her, ‘what brings you here?’ Get to know her. Go with her. Thank her for her gifts. Treat her presence with honor and respect. For she is truly your friend and is there to help. Feelings are like fluid waves of energy. Like the waves we see in the ocean, they come in, peak, and pass, come in, peak, and pass. They have a natural cyclical rhythm like the ebb and flow of tides, the waning and waxing of the moon. The flow of feeling is as natural as the flow of life itself.”
And there it is. It seems there really is a lot of wisdom in the words “this too shall pass.”
Looking forward to riding the next wave :).
P.S. Hope to see any of you in Texas at our national launch party May 9th at Mercury Hall. Will be a magical, inspiring evening of music, storytelling and great food and wine! You can register via www.reneetrudeau.com. Hurry though, looks like we'll sell out!
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