Rhythms

Cape Flattery, Olympic Peninsula, WA Renee Peterson Trudeau

I think one of the most critical pieces to enhancing balance or equilibrium in our lives is the ability to tune into –and listen—to our body and soul’s natural rhythms.

For the past three years, I have slowed down considerably during the month of January. This year—after extensive planning-- I’ll be taking time for a 30-day writing “sabbatical” (basically still working, jut not seeing clients or taking speaking engagements/meetings so that I can spend 4 hours a day exclusively focused on reflection and writing).

My birthday falls on the 7th and while traditionally this is a huge month for my career coaching/consulting firm, it always felt unnatural for me to push hard at work when everything else—the weather, the need for post-holiday self-care/recovery, a tendency toward mild Seasonal Affective Disorder, my need to do some deep inner preparation for the coming year—was guiding me to slow down and go inward, not outward, during this month. (Don’t worry—if you need career support, my coaching team is wonderful and will be around all of January!)

It only took me 40 years to realize how necessary this January slow-down is. Now I understand this to be essential to my physical, spiritual and emotional well-being.

Many cultures celebrate the Winter Solstice as the kick-off for the time of year when they honor our innate need for introspection, deep reflection and solo time. The Solstice—which fell on December 21st this year--marked the shortest day of 2008. It signifies the season of the year when we are asked to go inside ourselves and connect to the light on this darkest day of the year. It is also a time of rebirth.

This slowing down in January can be particularly challenging when our culture will soon start hyping the New Year’s mindset of "get our there and start making headway on your '09 goals!” (Actually counter to what our bodies and want to do during these cold, dark hibernation-friendly days, right?!)

Ask any mental health professional; most of their calendars are booked heavily during January. Unfortunately the rate of depression and suicide skyrockets during and after the holiday season. It makes you wonder if this might also be due in part, to the conflict some of us feel this time of year around slowing down vs. speeding up (and I acknowledge that for some, speeding up in Jan. feels most natural).

When I pay attention to my own natural rhythms, work and life flow. When I don’t, it’s like climbing a mountain with a 100 pound bag on my back trying to get things accomplished.

I like to ask myself, “what seasons or months am I typically most productive or creative?” and then capitalize on those. And also “what months or periods of the year are typically challenging for me?” and consider how I can build in extra self-care or lighten my load to support these times.

Consider pulling out your 2008 (and if you have it, 2007) calendar and review your year—when you were in flow and when you weren’t. And share your observations with a friend. This might lead to some interesting insights around your natural rhythms and when you need to take it easy vs. launch new projects.

Why work harder than we need to, right? I’d love to hear your observations around your natural rhythms.

P.S. My colleague, Jennifer Louden, the Comfort Queen, has some great materials, books and resources to support you in nurturing yourself during the winter and throughout the year. Love her work!

Trusting

Last night I had the opportunity to have dinner with a dear friend who just celebrated her 49th birthday. We ate at one of my favorite restaurants located in an old house in East Austin, surrounded by two acres of beautiful gardens filled with seasonal, organic herbs and veggies—which end up on lucky diners’ plates each night.

Sitting in a beloved restaurant I’ve had been coming to for more than 18 years (possibly even sitting in the same chair I sat in back then) I had flashbacks of eating here in my twenties with friends from the advertising/public relations agency world I used to inhabit.

I was struck by how different my “inner world” is now than it was then. Those were fun, creative and emotionally turbulent times for me. And, I recognize now that I had a constant low-grade anxiety running through my system.

For the most part, I believed that my inner or emotional state was totally dependent on what was going on around me (if I received high kudos at work=had a good day .... didn’t get a call from the guy I went out with the night before who I wasn’t even sure I liked=bad day).

Like all of us, I’m navigating some personal and professional challenges right now, but most of the time, I have a deeper sense that everything is and will be ok. No matter what.

Not that I’m walking around 100% of the time in a state of bliss, but I do feel a sense of quiet and inner peace that is stronger and more unwavering than any “problem du jour.”

Maybe this is one of the gifts that come from “the mellow forties,” my friend and I theorized over our chocolate almond torte. Maybe all the personal growth work we’ve done is finally taking hold (or the merlot we’re drinking has us believing this is so). Or maybe it’s simply that we’re finally learning to let go and trust that all is well, or as self-care advocate Cheryl Richardson says, “The Universe is conspiring in my favor.”

I’m going to place my bet on the latter. Whenever I challenge my career/small business coaching clients to get quiet and move into that trusting place—that good things are unfolding for them and that people around them want to support them and help out--they visibly shift and their thoughts, actions words begin to come from a place of wisdom and knowing, rather than reactivity.

What helps you move into a state of trusting? What reminds you that things are aligning to support your highest good?

I think we’d all agree, that in the current state the world is in, it’s essential that we all find this place within us. And that we do all we can to support in others in doing the same.

P.S. Check this out: a few of my colleagues that are doing all they can to support others in finding their trusting place: Diana Amorde, Karly Randolph Pitman, and Byron Katie. I highly recommend their work.

Photo: ©2008 Bill Stevenson and World of Stock.

Alignment

This past Saturday morning, my son and I got up early and headed out for a bike ride. We took some new routes through an older neighborhood. Not paying attention, I started to follow him too closely, and my tire knocked his, sending me into a twisting spiraling thud (!). It was an intense fall and three days—and two yoga classes—later, the ligaments in my neck still feel really strained. My forty-something hips feel a little wobbly, too.

I often think our physical pains are wake-up calls for emotional signs we may not be heeding.

For me, this surfaced as a reminder for how important it is that my outer work stay aligned with my inner purpose (remembering “why” I’m doing what I’m doing).

Whether we’re software developers, stay-at-home moms, creative entrepreneurs, contract workers or college students, I think it’s really easy for all of us to become task-masters and feel our primary work is be busy, to get things done, to be productive. But it feels lifeless if it’s not coming from a place of true depth and connection, right?

I find it really grounds and brings me into balance to stop what I’m doing every once in a while and remind myself why I chose the path that I’m on (coaching/supporting others to remember who they really are).

Sometimes I’ll read or re-post my company purpose statement, re-visit my vision board, have a heart-to-heart with a close friend that knows my work well, look at photos of clients smiling faces, re-read “kudos” emails or simply process “why I do what I do” with my husband.

How do you align with your work? What makes you feel connected? Like you’re truly contributing? That your work is meaningful? That you’re in service to a greater good?

A few times a year, I lead a career change workshop. During the introductions, I ask the participants to share “what is one quality you MUST have present at your next job?”

Overwhelmingly the response: that I’m contributing or connected to something bigger ....that I’m making a difference ....that what I’m doing matters, comes up.

We all want to feel aligned and that what we do—directly or indirectly—somehow makes the world a better place.

Feeling adventurous this holiday season? Next time you’re around your friends or family, ask them why they do what they do? I bet the answers will surprise you and your friends will appreciate the opportunity to reflect on this topic. (And for those who are already feeling some of the high expectation, sensory overload, shopping hype holidays, check out my ideas for 5 Steps to a More Peaceful Holiday.)