Busy-ness

Photos from Olympic National Forest, Washington State (Renee Peterson Trudeau)

We recently returned from our visit to the Olympic Peninsula in Washington state. The trip was wonderful in many ways --though not very relaxing (as those of you with young, very active kids know). But overall, I was really grateful for the opportunity to get away and be alone with my family.

The highlights were the stunning natural jewels (Cape Flattery, the Hoh Rainforest, Sol Duc Hot Springs, Hurricane Ridge, Dungeness Spit, wild raspberry picking--see my pics above) and the amazing local/organic fruits and vegetables we devoured throughout the trip. We also loved the log cabin we rented http://www.vrbo.com/184006 that sat on 40 acres and looked out on the Olympic mountains, a natural pond and fruit orchard. And, we really enjoyed the hot tub late at night, breathing in the cool 50-degree weather while stargazing into a black, black and oh-so quiet night.

Coming back and "re-entering" the world is always hard after you've had the opportunity to slow down to a more natural pace. And, it takes a lot of intention and awareness upon your re-entry to not get sucked into the "do, do do, go, go, go" that typifies the American lifestyle.

If you read my blog, you know how much I struggle with balancing "being' and doing" in the world and how important I consider this journey to be.

Lately, I'm hearing from more and more professionals in the field of well-being (ob-gyns, therapists, parent coaches, nutritionists, yoga/movement teachers) about how concerned they are with our high stress and anxiety levels, how hurried we always are and what this is doing to our bodies, minds, spirits, hearts and children. (This morning I saw my wonderful ob-gyn for my annual exam and she said lately the top two topics her clients keep bring up are "stress and sex." (Specifically the lack of sex in their marriages.)

We're busy. Very, very busy. I think, too busy.

This is affecting us physically in dramatically and life-altering ways such as increases in the rate of diabetes, heart-disease, strokes, depression, suicide and there are new medical findings that now believe stress actually causes 80-90% of all illnesses!

Being overly-busy, stressed and not present in our relationships is also taking its toll on us emotionally and with partners and children. And, when it comes to work--more and more studies are coming out about how counterproductive multitasking to the extreme is on our ability to deliver quality results on the job. (See my last blog post about how productive and creative I was this summer after slowing down.)

So where does this leave us?

It's easy to get overwhelmed when addressing this subject. So, I'm a big believer in starting with ourselves.

This week, the questions I'm asking are:

What day-to-day choices can I make to feel more grounded, relaxed, focused and live as authentically and intentionally as I can each day?

What daily, practices--such as prayer/meditation-- support me in starting each day feeling centered?

What self-care activities help keep me relaxed, calm and add spaciousness to my day (check out my book chapter on self care here: http://www.reneetrudeau.com/book/Transformative_Power_of_Self_Care.pdf)?

What can I say "no" to (professionally and personally)?

How can I support my husband and son in being less busy?

How can I not get sucked into other's "busy-ness" and constant sense of urgency and make sure I'm staying true to what's important to me?

What choices do I need to honor in order to create more expanses of unscheduled time in my life?

How about you? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. I'm sure we could all benefit from one another's ideas.

P.S. If you're wanting to slow down and be with other women who want to focus on their self-care and living more intentionally, consider joining us at The Crossings Sept. 26-28 for my Fall Self-Renewal Retreat. We have a couple of spots left and if there is a commuter option available, too: http://www.reneetrudeau.com/order/womensretreat.html.

Benefits of Slowing Down

My six-week writing sabbatical devoted to Everyday Spirituality is winding down as my family and I prepare to head to the Olympic Peninsula before my little one starts first grade later this month.

The experience has given me so many things to reflect on and be grateful for (and yes, a great idea did come to me as a result of all of my research/writing—but, I’m going to sit with it for a bit and see if I am guided to move on it ...if I learned anything from writing my fist book, it’s that you can’t push something if the idea and the timing are not ripe).

Slowing down my pace and devoting four hours a day to a theme that deeply intrigued and excited me—illuminated that even as an entrepreneur, coach/consultant, mom and recovering over-achiever:

· I can actually DO LESS and ACHIEVE MORE, even though this seems contrary to everything we’re taught in the U.S.
· The quality of my work has the capacity to be richer and deeper AND I’m more effective/efficient when I’m not multi-tasking to the extreme
· Delegating and saying “no” more is THE key to creating more spaciousness and flow in my life (but yes, I have to let go!)
· We ALL underestimate what we're capable of accessing when we have time and space to go deeper within ourselves and dive into the creative well
· I am able to become acutely aware of my own rhythms (how and when I “work best”) and creative projects have a timeline of their own!
· Peace first: starting my day in silence (whether that’s for prayer/mediation or reflection) sets the tone for the entire day and is a necessity for me
· It’s helpful to question my motivation for doing things—“Is this something I truly want to do or am I saying yes from a sense of obligation?” particularly when it comes to social or volunteer stuff
· When I move too fast—I miss magical moments: facial expressions, comments made in passing, our environment, gifts from nature, opportunities to support those I care about
· When you make it a priority to FIRST dedicate a chunk of your daily “work time” to something that feeds you, necessary work tasks become easier to handle (you’ve been fed, now you’re ready to give!)
· It’s important for me to stay open and sometimes “goal—less”—goals are great, but often then can limit you or stand in the way of you experiencing something you had never imagined
· Self-awareness comes when we have space to reflect/be objective—the more clearly we can recognize our patterns, the easier it is to release them
· The tighter we hold things, the more “stuck” we stay—when we loosen our grip and feel more spacious/relaxed, solutions to complex problems miraculously appear
· You’re more aware of synchronicities when your pace is slower: you are attuned to your intuition AND actually able to hear and respond to gentle those gentle nudgings we all receive
· You become more accepting: wherever you are, there you are (read my last blog posting on ACCEPTANCE)
· You feel more grateful when you slow down (I’ve been writing two thank you notes a week this month to people who have blessed my life ... the more grateful I act, the more grateful I feel and so on and so on)

I am very glad I created the space on my calendar six months ago to make this sabbatical possible. Moving forward, the challenge of course is how to balance BEING (staying present, mindful, in the flow) with DOING (our work, taking action, being results-oriented). I’m sure you’ve heard the popular truth “We are human beings—not human doings!”

I know this see-sawing can be hard—very hard—and a life-long challenge for most of us. And, we also all realize, we wouldn’t be able to launch businesses, manage huge projects at work or write books if weren’t engaging both the DOING and the BEING.

I intend to integrate these insights into my daily routine this fall. And most importantly, remember that “Life is not a thing to be managed, it’s a mystery to be lived.” Amen. I think we’d all agree we need more time to live in and explore the mysteries of life. And I believe for this to happen, we all need to slow down.

Safe travels this month if you’re heading for cooler climate. I’ll share some photos from our visit to the rainforest/Olympic National Forest when I return. Shalom.

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like to receive support from like-minded women and be with people who hold the highest and best for you? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our November 5th One-Day Reflect, Reclaim, Re-Balance Women's One-Day Self-Renewal Retreat and our FREE October 14th Live Inside Out teleclass on Being More Present and Remembering What Matters.

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and read how people are living more intentionally.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: East coast of Ireland; Trudeau's summer 2007 trip.

Acceptance

When I have time, I really enjoy nurturing my family and myself by cooking great meals, using a lot of local, fresh produce from our weekly Johnson's Backyard Garden CSA subscription (http://www.johnsonsbackyardgarden.com/. There are so many yummy summer veggie dishes to enjoy this time of year--roasted veggie pizza, fresh corn on the cob dripping in butter, pasta primavera, cucumber/tomato salad with hummus and tabouli, peach ginger crisp, fresh blackberry pie, sauteed garden veggie fritatta, figs with goat cheese and walnuts and on and on (yes, I love food!).

Thursday night I planned a great simple dinner of citrus/shallot swordfish, rice with toasted sesame seeds, sauteed garlic eggplant and fresh pineapple. Unfortunately, upon sitting down to eat (after a good amount of prep time/cooking), we discovered the swordfish we had gotten for Whole Foods was bad and the fresh egglplant was bitter (and was not from Johnson's). So, our dinner ended up consisting of rice and pineapple! I felt some disappointment that quickly turned to laughter and my husband and son and I ended up finishing dinner early and heading outside for a walk.

Internationally-known speaker/spiritual teacher Byron Katie (http://www.thework.com/), author of "Loving What Is," says the root of our suffering is caused by not accepting "what is." She says we create pain, sadness and deeper emotions than these when we argue with reality. She has a short but powerful 4-question process highlighted in her books and on her site, that challenges you to question your thoughts and begin to understand that the world is our perception of it. We see and hear through the filter of our "story." I know--this may be a radical notion for some, but here is what I've observed with my coaching clients and myself:

We have a finite amount of energy available to us each day, right? When we stay stuck in fighting "what is" -whether that's our current state of unemployment, chronic pain, an astronimical Visa bill, a car accident that is causing us great inconvenience or discomfort, a 401-K that appears to be tanking--we're giving away our precious energy to something we often have NO ability to change.

Not only does this keep us stuck, but it prevents our energy from going towards what's really important to us--our career change, nurturing our relationships, being present with our kids, a new creative project, growing our business, connecting/collaboaring with others, etc.

I remember years ago, the smallest thing--a significant error on a phone bill, something at work I "perceived" was not going my way, an argument with a sibling--would really throw me. Sometimes, for days! I think about how much energy I wasted fighting "what was" and ruminating about how things might be different.

Two weeks ago, my new five-month old car was parked in front of a restaurant where my family and I were eating. Before our food arrived, a server informed us that someone had slammed into my car (causing 3K in damage) and left. No one got their license plate. This week, my husband's car started leaking gas and he ended up having to fork over for a $1400 fuel tank replacement, and he got to take the bus to his office all week, which is located an hour north of where we live.

I'm not going to say these things didn't cause us significant irritation--I have a new business in start-up-mode, so we are very budget conscious right now--but we didn't dwell on these problems. We handled them as they came up. And, we moved on. Because, we decided we'd rather feel peace than fight reality.

This has taken years of practice and we have a long way to go, but, I'd challenge you--just for fun--notice how long you allow yourself to stay stuck when you experience something that initially looks or sounds "bad." Katie says, "Arguing with reality is like trying to teach a cat to bark--hopeless."

Peace is only a thought away (don't know who said that, but isn't is the truth?!) . Take good care.