Why Can't I Sit Still?

I finished the first draft of the manuscript for my new book on Friday (more to come on this fruitful journey and the gifts that came from the last several months). In many ways, the work is just beginning, but I’m committed to stopping to smell the roses whenever I can.

To celebrate and reconnect, my family headed down to Port Aransas on the Texas coast, for a weekend of doing nothing. At least that was the idea.

Even though I love to sit, relax and just listen to the ocean waves, I had a hard time just being.

When my husband put down a Mexican blanket for us on the beach (my ten-year-old son and his friend swam everyday we were there, even though the water was 60 degrees), I started doing yoga. And when we headed to the south jetty to look at the jellyfish, I brought my small Moleskine notebook and a pen in case I thought of new ideas to incorporate into the book. In the early evening, I invited the guys to sit out on the condo porch with me and watch the sun set—while I flipped through an old National Geographic.

Why is it so hard to just sit and do nothing. No thing. Not one thing. For me, yes—I’m a big idea girl and am constantly envisioning, dreaming and imagining—but I think it also ties back to my old habitual thinking around productivity=worth (read more).

I watched myself this weekend without judgment, more with amusement than anything else. (My husband came up with a new career for himself: he’s so good at resisting the compulsion to “get busy” that he’s going to become a presence coach and offer to sit with people like me who feel the drive to multitask and help us do nothing; he’s guessing he could charge $100/hour for this. What do you think?!)

I know that the desire to do more than one thing at a time is common for many of us and it’s a rare bird—like my beloved—that can sit and stare out into nature without feeling the need to pick up shells or brainstorm on places he’d like to visit. But, I can’t help but notice  how multitasking makes me feel (speeded up, tight, constricted, less open to solutions, less connected to others). And not just while it’s happening, but for hours and days later.

This week as I return to hundreds of unopened emails from the last two months and reply to a long stream of requests, I’m going to build in short spells into my day where I literally do nothing.  Feel free to join me if you're free--I'd love the company.

P.S. I guess my intention last week to remain curious paid off! I've received a lot of new insights this week.

Join us and CHOOSE LOVE in 2012: The I Choose Love public service campaign is a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more and order a tshirt (at cost).

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my April 13th Empowered Entrepreneur Retreat and my April Esalen and June Kripalu retreats
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
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• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization

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Video:  The Gulf of Mexico, Port Aransas, Texas.

Self-Compassion

Last week I had a day where I felt like I was swimming through steel cut oatmeal (as my west Texas therapist friend Donna likes to say).

I was judgmental and finding fault with every person, group, situation, scenario I was bumping up against.

And when I meditated, the thoughts I usually watch dance by like twigs rolling down a river, were as thick as cement running through my veins.

But my saving grace was I knew it. There was a level of discernment happening thanks largely to a presence coach I began working with almost 17 years ago that introduced me to the principles author/therapist Richard Carlson taught around the connection between thought and mood.

Even though I couldn’t easily pull myself out of this funk, I knew I was responsible for feeling yucky. I was the originator of these negative thoughts. These pesky, multiplying “tribbles” (remember these on Star Trek?) were having a field day at my expense. And yes, the quickest way to change my mood was to change my thinking, but that morning, this task looked as daunting as climbing Mount Everest.

So I acknowledged where I was. Reached out and asked for some support. Kept my expectations low around my work output. Tried to laugh at myself (“You’ve got to be kidding ….you think I’m going to believe THAT?!). Drank a tall glass of self-compassion and sat with the reminder that this too shall pass.

And it did. Friday came and after I had the opportunity to teach a workshop for an amazing, inspiring group of professionals, I was reminded of who I really was. And that I am not my negative thoughts.

And what I truly desire is that I’ll remember to be grateful when my mood is high and graceful when it’s low.

Because one thing I’m guaranteed of for the rest of this life is that the thoughts will keep coming. And some days when I’m lucky, I’ll get to watch them float by on the river, waving from the banks. While others, I’ll find myself jumping on their tenuous raft and floating down the murky stream right along with them, rats and all!

P.S. Each quarter I take a personal/business planning retreat to help me determine how best to use my energy/time to support my businesses in the coming 3-6 months. If you're self-employed and needing focus, an energy boost, high level, strategic coaching support and to be reminded of why you do what you do this fall, consider joining me on Sept. 16 at Casa de Artistas in Austin. I love these visioning retreats and always leave with clear, grounded direction.

Note: I'm out on a writing sabbatical this summer and we're surveying the Emotional and Spiritual Health of Families for my new writing project. If you have 5 minutes to tell me about your family culture, I’d love to get your input (and feel free to share with friends/lists): http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RXZ88GR

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event; join me Oct. 14-16 at Kripalu in the amazing cool Berkshire mountains for our Women's Self-Renewal Retreat.
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Sept. 8th class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Roses from my sister's blessingway. They say the rose is symbolic of compassion for self and others. I'll have another round.