Why Can't I Sit Still?

I finished the first draft of the manuscript for my new book on Friday (more to come on this fruitful journey and the gifts that came from the last several months). In many ways, the work is just beginning, but I’m committed to stopping to smell the roses whenever I can.

To celebrate and reconnect, my family headed down to Port Aransas on the Texas coast, for a weekend of doing nothing. At least that was the idea.

Even though I love to sit, relax and just listen to the ocean waves, I had a hard time just being.

When my husband put down a Mexican blanket for us on the beach (my ten-year-old son and his friend swam everyday we were there, even though the water was 60 degrees), I started doing yoga. And when we headed to the south jetty to look at the jellyfish, I brought my small Moleskine notebook and a pen in case I thought of new ideas to incorporate into the book. In the early evening, I invited the guys to sit out on the condo porch with me and watch the sun set—while I flipped through an old National Geographic.

Why is it so hard to just sit and do nothing. No thing. Not one thing. For me, yes—I’m a big idea girl and am constantly envisioning, dreaming and imagining—but I think it also ties back to my old habitual thinking around productivity=worth (read more).

I watched myself this weekend without judgment, more with amusement than anything else. (My husband came up with a new career for himself: he’s so good at resisting the compulsion to “get busy” that he’s going to become a presence coach and offer to sit with people like me who feel the drive to multitask and help us do nothing; he’s guessing he could charge $100/hour for this. What do you think?!)

I know that the desire to do more than one thing at a time is common for many of us and it’s a rare bird—like my beloved—that can sit and stare out into nature without feeling the need to pick up shells or brainstorm on places he’d like to visit. But, I can’t help but notice  how multitasking makes me feel (speeded up, tight, constricted, less open to solutions, less connected to others). And not just while it’s happening, but for hours and days later.

This week as I return to hundreds of unopened emails from the last two months and reply to a long stream of requests, I’m going to build in short spells into my day where I literally do nothing.  Feel free to join me if you're free--I'd love the company.

P.S. I guess my intention last week to remain curious paid off! I've received a lot of new insights this week.

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Video:  The Gulf of Mexico, Port Aransas, Texas.

Waves

This past weekend, my family headed to the Texas coast for a 48 hour date with Mother Nature.

We have not taken a vacation since my husband was laid off last summer from his software job (he’s on a short-term contract gig right now) and we really needed a break.

In general, we like to take frequent, easy vacations as opposed to one big one, so we’ve really been missing our regular jaunts to New Mexico, Big Bend, the Gulf of Mexico, the Davis Mountains and other favorite southwest U.S. haunts.

The weekend was just what we needed. We saw beautiful pelicans, dolphins, a huge variety of birds (a birding couple had traveled from Australia to Port Aransas to see a rare seagull that was flying through!), turtles, jellyfish, crabs, collected shells during sunrise, ate mahi mahi and shrimp while watching the sunset and enjoyed laughing and being together. My almost 9-year-old son only said he was “bored” twice!

My son and I love to walk on the beach in the early hours of the morning while my husband sleeps in and see what washed ashore while we were sleeping. We both find such delight in exploring the untouched shores barefoot and scanning the wet sand for treasures and sea life.

It’s been a couple of years since we came to the beach as a family. As I trolled up and down the shore with my son, watched the waves crash and fall and felt the magnetic pull of the earth and ocean under my bare feet, I was struck by how different I felt on this visit compared to coast trips I've taken in the past.

The only way I can describe it is to say I feel “quieter” on the inside. And, there’s a heightened unmistakable sense of ease, compassion and self-acceptance present. If I had to guess, I attribute this in large part to a now regular meditation practice. And, a clear intention to more and more release and let go (read more).

That’s not to say that I don’t experience emotional and ups and downs (like the waves I watched with utter fascination as they crashed against the granite jetty!), but my inner “home” is just a bit mellower.

Interesting. It was great to get away. It was great to allow nature to heal us. And, it was nice to know that as my outer body evolves and ages, my inside is evolving, too. Slowly but surely.

I hope you can join us this Thursday, Feb. 24 from 7:30-8:30 p.m. CST for our Live Inside Out Teleclass with my good friend Dianna Amorde on "Love the One You're With ...That's You! Finding Self-Acceptance." Learn more here.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:
>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our 3/4 Lost Pines Women's Self-Renewal Retreat coming up soon (early bird rate ends 2/25; this is our last Texas retreat for a while)
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses and read my February Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photos: Renee Peterson Trudeau, the Gulf of Mexico, February 2011.