Imagine A World Where ......

A few days before Thanksgiving, I attended a yoga class. As I lay on my back relaxing before the teacher began, I could hear the light, easy, excited chatter in the room. You could feel the anticipation: a holiday break was coming!

Why were we all so happy? Because a holiday usually signals to the body, mind and spirit that you’re about to slow down, to unplug a bit, to spend more time connecting with family and to live at a more “normal pace”--rather than the 24/7 breakneck speed most Americans keep.

It got me thinking … what if we lived in a world where self-care (the concept of attuning and responding to your needs/desires) was an integral part of the fabric of our lives?

What if:
-Your boss approached you when you looked overwhelmed at work and said, “You need to say no to any new projects—you look overworked and you’ve already got too much on your plate.”
-Your kid said, “Forget about basketball practice tonight Mom--you need to stay home this evening and rest, you’ve been doing too much lately. It won’t matter if I miss one night.”
-Your best friend reminded you, “Be extra easy on yourself this week—the anniversary of your dad’s death is coming up, it’s a fragile time for you.”
-Your co-worker told you after you’d been beating yourself up all morning, “Cut yourself some slack about that presentation—it was your first time to deliver the new material, you did great.”
-Your Mom encouraged you, “Ask for help and let others support you—there’s no reason you need to juggle everything on your own. Call on your tribe.”
-Your neighbor reminded you “Practice ‘good is good enough’—the party doesn’t have to be perfect. People would rather have a happy, relaxed host than a sparkling clean home or homemade food.”
-Your husband called to say, “Be gentle with yourself right now, you’re in the middle of a lot of transitions; take a day off for rest and rejuvenation. I’ll pick up some Thai food on my way home and then bathe and put the kids to bed.”

Hmmmm …imagine a world where everywhere we went, we all encouraged one another to slow down, attune to our physical/emotional/spiritual and mental needs and the practice of self-care, self-compassion and self-nurturance became part of our value system. Part of our everyday experience.

It’s hard to envision, isn’t it?

It would have been hard for me to imagine eleven years ago that I would work, live and play the way I do now. (I probably would have called the current, more relaxed Renee-- a “slacker.”)

But what I've come to know after years of mindfully focusing on self-care and all that this has come to mean for me, is that I’m wiser, more prosperous, more focused, more productive and have more fun when I put my needs at the top of my to-do list before supporting and serving those around me.

And, the exciting thing? That those closest to me are beginning to do the same. Ripple on friends …and who knows, maybe a year from now we’ll all live in a world where each of us is a bit more kinder and gentler to our sweet selves than we were before. Imagine that.

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like support for focusing on self-care and learning to slow down and be more present in your everyday life? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, or visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events.

We love to hear from you. Please visit and join our Live Inside Out community to read how people are living more intentionally and share how you do the same.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Self-Care, My Best Friend

Last night I spoke to a wonderful group of about fifty women in their 30s-50s from the National Charity League about the Power of Self-Care. It’s a really cool group of mothers and daughters who work together to support their communities through various social service projects.

When I asked how many women in the room were familiar with the concept of self-care (read more from my newsletter on this topic), only one woman raised her hand.

As much as I want to believe that this concept—which has been popularized by self-care advocates Jennifer Louden, and Cheryl Richardson in the 80s and 90s—has become mainstream, I was reminded that we still have a long way to go before people believe that it’s not only our birthright to nurture and nourish ourselves, it’s our responsibility to do so.

When I was first introduced to the concept of self-care: taking time to fill my cup first, before helping others, it seemed strange and foreign. Almost like something else to put on my “to do” list. But as I started to slow down and practice more self-acceptance, release a lot of my controlling behavior and perfectionism, begin to really listen to my body and spirit and enjoy spending time with my sweet self, my life began to change radically.

I felt like I had come home. Like this was *really* the way we are supposed to live.

I now realize that being open to and ultimately, embracing self-care was the single biggest thing I have ever done to positively and profoundly change my life.

And the journey keeps shifting and changing. You don’t “get it” and you’re done. It keeps evolving and unfolding. And the more you love and accept yourself, the more in touch with your physical/emotional/spiritual needs you become.

I often have moments in my life when I pause and realize how drastically different my days are now than they were ten years ago (before self-care).

I used to push myself really hard. I used to barrel through to-do lists (I was a master at efficiency and took pride at how much I used to be able to get done---anyone relate?). I was way too focused on “doing” and not very focused on “being.”

Yesterday, I had a challenging day emotionally and a lot on my plate. Realizing this, I went to a noon yoga class instead of an intense early morning weights class. I made sure I ate foods that made me feel great. I let some things go, so I could take a short rest before my speaking engagement last night. And, since I didn’t have much time to prepare before this event, I allowed myself to deliver a ‘good is good enough” speech, knowing that there wouldn’t be much time to prepare for the talk (which by the way, received rave reviews).

During stressful times—like the current economic crisis our nation is experiencing—it’s more important than ever to take time to nurture ourselves. (Read my latest Career Management Newsletter on tips on navigating your career/life during uncertain times.)

I received two calls from national companies yesterday to speak to their employees about balance/self-renewal.

I think we’re all starting to get that when our environment and things around us get really crazy, we have no where else to go, but within.

Baby steps. I’ve been working on my self-care practice for 9 years. And, I still have a long way to go.

P.S. If you’re new to self-care or seeking support, check out Jennifer Louden’s new Comfort Café/Life Spa , it looks really cool. I plan to sign up soon. Also, if you’re interested in really soaking up the self-care message and understanding why and how it can change your life for the better, join us April 24-26th at the Crossings for my Spring Self-Renewal Retreat for Women.

And, if you're wanting to really dive in and make self-care part of your everyday life, I encourage you to think about starting/joining a women's Personal Renewal Group (a self renewal circle for women based on my book The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal) at http://www.reneetrudeau.com/.

Photo: My six-year old son--and inspiration for self-care-- cheering on an amazing water fountain outside of the Dallas Museum of Art, where we visited the King Tut exhibit.