Where Does Joy Come From?

"Joy springs from within; no one makes you joyous; you choose joyfulness." Unknown

Last Sunday at 11:45 a.m. I was finishing up facilitating a retreat for 55 amazing women at Kripalu Yoga & Wellness Center when my ten year old son--who had just flown in from Austin to visit his MA grandparents--appeared at the door. My heart exploded, a huge smile spilled across my face and I motioned for him to come sit beside me and join the circle of women. My entire body surged with JOY--I loved having my child there to witness and experience the profound nature of the work I do and to connect with him in this way!

This week, everywhere I turn I'm surrounded by quotes or teachings related to joy. Joy is "up" for me right now!

I remember a time when I used to think joy was corny, that it was something that happened to you. A fluke--like a butterfly landing on your arm. And when I felt it--I often shied from it's warmth and power (I recently heard author Brene Brown say that one of the most vulnerable places we can go is allowing ourselves to experience and express full-out joy).

I believe that joy is one of our greatest gifts and it lies in great reserves within us. We just have to allow ourselves to tap it, cultivate it, dig deep for it, nurture it and believe we're worthy of its grace--not just at birthday parties, "wins," or weddings, but all the time: driving to work, telling stories over dinner, waiting in line at the grocery store.

I'm passionate about helping men and women experience greater balance (read more) and emotional well-being in their everyday lives. As part of my work, I travel and lead workshops for women around the globe and am often saddened by how I often I hear participants share they feel that a joyful life is passing them by. They're at the buffet, but joy isn't on the menu (read more on a survey I did last summer on this topic).


They often ask, "How do I recapture joy?"

On the last day of our self-renewal retreat at Kripalu, we headed out to the majestic front lawn with its expansive view of the MA Berkshire mountains. The women took turn reading aloud pearls of wisdom that had surfaced for them over the weekend--insights from their "Wise Selves"--that part of them that holds the highest/best for their continued evolution and growth. After affirming each woman's truth, we headed back to our room and danced our wisdom so we could "lock" it into our bodies and carry it back home. While dancing, the joy and unabashed delight that swirled through the room was euphoric, contagious and heady-- like a perfume. Everyone in that room could feel that the waves of joy being unleashed were coming from inside of them. From their own Divine nature.  

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, "Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God." I couldn't agree more. Here's to more joy for us all this month. 

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this spring or hire Renee to create one for your group
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.
  

Photo: Fifty four beautiful women--mothers/daughters/girlfriends/colleagues/grandmothers/birthday girls-- ages twenty to seventy-five from around the globe joined us at Kripalu last weekend. We were blessed with gorgeous weather and stunning fall foliage.

Sustainability ... for Self

The next twelve months will be a time of incredible growth and expansion for me--personally and professionally.

And sensing this, over the weekend, I woke up Sunday morning feeling stress and anxiety course through my body as I anticipated all of the travel and events, book-related deadlines and challenges and opportunities that come from supporting a team and business during  a time of extreme growth. 

I know some of the keys to enhancing peace in everyday life for me--and navigating unusually full times--are practicing living in the "now", being willing to embrace radical self-care, surrendering and remembering to balance being vs. doing.

And I practice these tools (as often as I can remember to do so!).

But I don't want to do "business as usual" this fall and spring--my two busiest times. I really desire to keep embracing a new way of being AND to make sure that I'm choosing support that will truly nourish and sustain me.

Sustainability is sometimes defined as the capacity to endure; the long-term maintenance of responsibility (and I would add: to self).

I don't want to just "survive" and make it through the next twelve months, I want to land on the other side of the river yes--wiser and more learned--but also replenished and nourished. I want to feel like I've been very, very kind to myself--and that when September 2013 arrrives, that I've arrived on new soil with fresh tools and perspectives. That I've come into a higher expression of who I am.

T.S. Eliot said,

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started 
And know the place for the first time.

So what will truly sustain--not just get me through--the next year? I'm still working on this list, but for now some of "musts" include:

• saying "no," more; conserving my energy
• tapping the counsel of wise ones (I just set up regular appointments for the next 3 months with my "presence coach") and make lots of time for friends
• doing a ton of yoga, dance, qi gong, walking and conscious movement
• planning some nature-infused weekend getaways NOW--that my family and I can look forward to for deep relaxation

Just saying out loud that I'm committed to reflecting on "sustainability for self" during this upcoming stretch--makes me feel better already.

I'm off to book a cabin in the Fort Davis, TX mountains for Thanksgiving weekend (they have some of the darkest skies in the United States); seeing thousands of stars at night always helps me put things in perspective and remember what truly matters most.
 
INVITE: Interested in learning how to live more intentionally and create sustainability for self? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in Massachusetts! Peak leaf turning time! I'd love to hold the space for you to rest, connect with your needs and desires--and hear what your Wise Self most wants you to know.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this fall or spring
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: September has always felt like a time of new beginnings for me--here's to doing it different and starting fresh.

Why Do I Lead Retreats?

Driving back from a yoga class this morning, Stephen Cope’s quote flitted across my mind:  “Retreats don’t change our lives as much as they change where we stand in relationship to our lives—and our capacity to see the hidden possibilities there.”  (Stephen Cope, MSW, is the director of Kripalu’s Institute for Extraordinary Living)

As I prepare to head to Esalen—the mystical, infamous, world-renowned retreat center in Big Sur where my mom used to hang out in the 70's when we lived in Northern California (read more)-- I reflected on why I lead retreats. Really. Honestly. What is my drive for dropping everything and heading off to hard-to-reach spots on the east and west coast to help others reconnect with themselves and hear what their lives—and inner teachers—have been trying to tell them for weeks, months or sometimes years?

There are a lot of reasons I do this work, but one of the biggest is because I believe taking retreats should be as essential to our life as breathing. Or getting our car’s oil changed. Or going to the eye doctor. (Read more.)

I loved sitting with this question and as I reflected, I got clear that I lead retreats because:

• they provide attendees with a 30,000 foot perspective—and the opportunity to see their life through a fresh lens
• for many, slowing down enough to hear their inner wisdom can be—and often is-- life changing
• they validate, affirm and remind the participants that they’re not alone, we’re wired to be interdependent and receiving support is essential to our emotional health
• it is inspiring and moving to see how blown away women are when they engage in and observe the power of women’s circles
• I love holding “space” for participants in way that makes it possible for them to hear what they MOST need to hear
• I love experiential teaching (I recently discovered that this is how I learn best) and when I’m doing this, I'm in flow, in my zone and doing what I'm truly here to do
• I get the chance to deeply connect to and follow my intuition—so much so that I’m prepared to scrap my whole retreat schedule and take a totally different route-- if guided to do so in the moment
• I get to share the powerful, life-changing practice of self-care—a spiritual path that has radically and profoundly affected me, my family, my relationships and my career on every level

This evening while visiting with my neighbor over dinner, I told her I have a strong hunch that this upcoming retreat may bring many revelations and unexpected gifts that could impact my life for years to come.

I believe there are no mistakes—-particularly when you gather a group that has traveled from far away spots to be together--and I’m relishing this opportunity to venture into the unknown and to see what awaits me. And what awaits the women who will be joining me.

Invitation: I'd love to have you join me April 27-29 at Esalen in Big Sur, CA or June 22-24 at Kripalu in the MA Berkshire mountains. The retreats are almost full; learn more here.

P.S. In honor of Mother's Day, we're giving away a Yummy Mummy Year-of-Self-Care package, which includes an all expenses paid trip to my Kripalu retreat (a $2500 value). Learn more.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my April 27-29 Esalen, June 8th Empowered Entrepreneur and June 22-24 Kripalu retreat;check out all upcoming events
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more.

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur ReneeTrudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out. 

Photo: (above, by Sara Bogan) A beautiful mother and daughter who attended one of our Kripalu retreats last year. (Below): the view from the front lawn at Kripalu Yoga & Wellness Center in June.

How's Your Heart?

Friday, March 30th was the 12 year anniversary of my mother’s death.

I’ve lost three family members prematurely and these anniversaries always affect me--even if I don’t remember the dates until after the fact.

My healthy and active parents both died of heart ailments (I’ve never thought that was a coincidence, given they lost their third child-- my brother Geoffrey--when he was 20). My dad had a sudden heart attack at 55 and my mom went into congestive heart failure brought on by the flu at the young age of 59. They left six children behind.

I always get extra sensitive around these anniversaries. And last week, it seemed many in my community were feeling tenderhearted as well (everywhere I turned---board meetings, gatherings, workshops, dinners—the tears were flowing; it was an emotionally charged week for many).

It seems sometimes we’re moving so fast and spend so much time in our heads, we forget that we need to take time for emotional check-ups. Just like going to the optometrist, the dentist or seeing your doctor for a physical, we need to pause for emotional self-care, too. (Read more.)

The groundbreaking book HeartMath, which introduced us to the concept of the “intelligent heart”  says that our emotions create physiological responses in the body—both good and bad—depending on how we’re feeling. Over the last ten years, research has revealed that the heart is much more than a blood-pumping machine.

So last week and this past weekend, I paused. And took time to focus on the care and feeding of my heart.  For me, this often looks like:
• Slowing down and feeling my feelings (the good, the bad and the ugly)
• Allowing myself to live with polarities (read more) and embrace the unknown
• Surrounding myself with people who let me show up warts and all
• Balancing giving/receiving (masculine and feminine energies)
• Practicing extreme self-care (I cancelled all activities this weekend so I could hole   up at home with my family)
• Attuning to my portals for renewal: nature, my women’s circles, yoga and movement, heartfelt conversation, being with my beloved
• Making time for my daily practice of meditation and sometimes, journaling
• Connecting with my wise self—my inner teacher
• Attuning to my natural rhythms and nature’s rhythms,rather than other people’s demands  or schedules (read more)
• Allowing, flowing and being flexible as I move through my day—rather than pushing and  forcing things to happen

When I woke up Monday morning, I felt different. I felt nourished—from the inside-out.I felt alive and grateful. My sweet heart--was happy and full.

Personal invite: interested in exploring what emotional self-care and self-acceptance would look like for you? Join me at an upcoming Spring Renewal Retreat (April 13 is just for small business owners).

P.S. Heard about our global I Choose Love PSA? Learn more about how letting your heart take the lead can impact your life in big and small ways.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:  

• Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my April 13th Empowered Entrepreneur Retreat and my April Esalen and June Kripalu retreats and check out all upcoming events
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more.

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo: Two dear, beloved friends who nurture my heart and whose love and support are key to my emotional self-care. Deborah Kern middle and Margaret Keys right. This picture was taken a couple of years ago at a women's circle honoring "gifts from our grandmothers."

I Am a Social Activist

This past Sunday my son and I stumbled upon Lady Gaga's new Born This Way initiative, launched recently at Harvard, which focuses on  heightening understanding around bullying and promoting a more compassionate society. It spurred a great conversation with my ten-year old around why people bully and what you can do when you see bullying.

That evening I brought my son to a GenAustin (Girls Empowerment Network Austin) community benefit: a discussion and preview of the new documentary Wonder Women:The Untold Story of American Superheroines. The event illuminated the lack of strong female heroines in the movies, media and comics and why this is. (To my delight, my son--an avid reader--leaned over halfway through the panel discussion and said incredulously, "Mom, I can't believe this, this happens in books, too!")

I had forgotten I'm a social activist (when I was in my twenties, I would drive around East Austin canvasing neighborhoods to encourage voter participation--nowadays, this energy is funnelled to helping men and women find balance).

In the Personal Renewal Groups I started in 2003--which are now meeting in more than eight countries worldwide--a favorite self-care group exercise used to be creating an I AM collage that colorfully represents all the facets of who we are: artist, sister, activist, creative diva, dancer, idea generator, singer, gardener, comic, cook, community organizer, yogini, daughter, mother, volunteer and more.

When you get consumed by work, family, parenting and just responding to what shows up in front of you moment to moment, it's easy to forget how interesting, complex and dynamic we all are.

The other night, a dear friend introduced me at a networking event using a title I haven't claimed in years. At first I felt the need to correct her and then I smiled. Ahhhh. She's a part of me, just like all the other parts and polarities I hold: being Type A and calm/relaxed; a cosmopolitan girl and an earth woman; a savvy entrepreneur and an artistic soul; a natural foods cook and a connoisseur of french fries; big hearted and cerebral; a leader and a tribesperson; a global speaker and a householder.

I AM ...all of these things.

My son celebrated his first double digit birthday on Tuesday. My recent reflections make me want to try harder and dig deeper to extricate, reflect, honor and celebrate ALL parts of him--those I love and those I don't understand or fancy. Because I believe the more fully we can be us--warts and all--the easier it is to be accepting of others.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my April 13th Empowered Entrepreneur Retreat and my April Esalen and June Kripalu retreats and check out all upcoming events
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more.

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

WonderWomen documentary. Learn how to catch a screening of this wonderful flick in your area at www.WonderWomenDoc.com.

Slow Down You Move Too Fast!

                    

This weekend I found myself frequently humming, "Slow down, you move too fast ..."

Lately, it feels like life is moving too fast. A month feels like a week--a week, like a day.

Saturday night we really felt the effects of this. 

My husband and I were supposed to attend a big fund raiser for my son's school. As we got closer to the hour of the event, we realized we were tired. Really tired. Lay down and sleep for five days tired (and this is in spite of the fact that we've all been going to bed on time!).

So instead of donning our party clothes, we put on scarves and jackets and drove to a nearby nature preserve to watch Jupiter, Venus and the Moon--through a powerful telescope--dance in the dark night sky. Our entire family was in bed asleep by 9:00.

A parent I talked to the other night--who is also a teacher--agreed, "Things seem to be moving really fast; everything seems unusually intense right now."

I saw a friend last night at an Indian restaurant who echoed our experience, "What's going on? It feels like we're all living at warp speed these days! Where's the off switch?"

This past weekend I went to a Kundalini yoga workshop on living in uncertain times and our teacher affirmed, yes, things are moving faster (on every level) and they're only going to continue to speed up.

When it feels like things are moving too fast, I rebel. I dig in my heels. I stop in my tracks. I stand still. And come home to myself--through my breath and often, through nature.

My brother lives in cabin in the woods in North Carolina; he sent me this haunting poem yesterday. I can't get it out of my mind. It beckons me to find ways and moments in my week to step off the merry-go-round and just s-t-a-n-d  still.

Maybe it will do the same for you.

Lost
Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

~ David Wagoner ~

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event including my April 13th Empowered Entrepreneur Retreat and my April Esalen and June Kripalu retreats
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization 
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more.

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out. 

Video:"Feelin' Groovy"-Simon and Garfunkel; The 59th Street Bridge Song. Written in 1966, the year I was born. Growing up in the sixties and seventies Simon and Garfunkel were constant voices in my home.

Self-Compassion

Last week I had a day where I felt like I was swimming through steel cut oatmeal (as my west Texas therapist friend Donna likes to say).

I was judgmental and finding fault with every person, group, situation, scenario I was bumping up against.

And when I meditated, the thoughts I usually watch dance by like twigs rolling down a river, were as thick as cement running through my veins.

But my saving grace was I knew it. There was a level of discernment happening thanks largely to a presence coach I began working with almost 17 years ago that introduced me to the principles author/therapist Richard Carlson taught around the connection between thought and mood.

Even though I couldn’t easily pull myself out of this funk, I knew I was responsible for feeling yucky. I was the originator of these negative thoughts. These pesky, multiplying “tribbles” (remember these on Star Trek?) were having a field day at my expense. And yes, the quickest way to change my mood was to change my thinking, but that morning, this task looked as daunting as climbing Mount Everest.

So I acknowledged where I was. Reached out and asked for some support. Kept my expectations low around my work output. Tried to laugh at myself (“You’ve got to be kidding ….you think I’m going to believe THAT?!). Drank a tall glass of self-compassion and sat with the reminder that this too shall pass.

And it did. Friday came and after I had the opportunity to teach a workshop for an amazing, inspiring group of professionals, I was reminded of who I really was. And that I am not my negative thoughts.

And what I truly desire is that I’ll remember to be grateful when my mood is high and graceful when it’s low.

Because one thing I’m guaranteed of for the rest of this life is that the thoughts will keep coming. And some days when I’m lucky, I’ll get to watch them float by on the river, waving from the banks. While others, I’ll find myself jumping on their tenuous raft and floating down the murky stream right along with them, rats and all!

P.S. Each quarter I take a personal/business planning retreat to help me determine how best to use my energy/time to support my businesses in the coming 3-6 months. If you're self-employed and needing focus, an energy boost, high level, strategic coaching support and to be reminded of why you do what you do this fall, consider joining me on Sept. 16 at Casa de Artistas in Austin. I love these visioning retreats and always leave with clear, grounded direction.

Note: I'm out on a writing sabbatical this summer and we're surveying the Emotional and Spiritual Health of Families for my new writing project. If you have 5 minutes to tell me about your family culture, I’d love to get your input (and feel free to share with friends/lists): http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RXZ88GR

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event; join me Oct. 14-16 at Kripalu in the amazing cool Berkshire mountains for our Women's Self-Renewal Retreat.
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Sept. 8th class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Roses from my sister's blessingway. They say the rose is symbolic of compassion for self and others. I'll have another round.

Is Ms. Balance Out of Balance?

My back and shoulders hurt from too much computer time. I’m not sleeping great (too many late nights online). My mind is too busy. I’m more reactive. And, I’m not as present as I’d like to be with my family and friends.

“When are you going to slow down?” my sweet body asked this morning. “Soon, very soon,” I respond.

I ran into one of the moms from my son’s school at Whole Foods yesterday. We caught up for a moment and after I shared how much I’ve been in overwork during the last two weeks, she smirked and said, “It sounds like Ms. Balance is out of balance.” Years ago this comment would have triggered me and I would have felt the need to justify my current schedule. But this time, I let it run off my back, smiled and moved on to the cereal aisle.

My definition for life balance--having enough time, energy and resources for those things that are most important to you—flooded back to me (read Balance is Bunk?! ).

In a flash, I realized that most people still see life balance as this state of perfect equilibrium in all areas of life (unattainable and unreaslistic!), rather than an ebb and flow of how and where we direct our energy based on our current life priorities.

Yes! I am working way more than I want to right now---getting online early in the morning and staying up late every night to complete a big video project, knocking out seemingly endless deadlines, wrapping up spring outreach projects with my team, participating in back-to-back meetings and conference calls, navigating new contracts for speaking and publishing, booking/negotiating workshop engagements for this fall and spring, writing newsletters and articles, handling interviews, guiding staff on web site updates and training new team members---but it’s for a very good reason.

I’ve chosen to enter into this temporary state of overwork in order to give myself the space I need to work on a new creative endeavor during June and July: a writing project and focus that is very dear to my heart. And in order to fully unplug and enter into the “cave of creation” –I needed to devote some extra energy to my two businesses right now.

At this life and career stage, one of the things that matters most to me is honoring creative expression … giving myself the space, time and support to completely unplug, free fall, dive deep and bring forth what’s yearning to be birthed (read my post on Ripe).

And, honoring my own voice--which like an echo in a canyon is becoming louder and more still at the same time--is a big part of this.

So fingers crossed. Two more days of wrap-up and then I’ll be transitioning into my writing sabbatical (read more on my focus in How Bad Do You Want to Feel Good?).

As my son and I sit outside and watch the birds and enjoy our soy yogurt parfaits from Whole Foods this morning, I also give thanks to my mom friend for the reminder that sometimes in order to experience more harmony and balance in the larger sense, we have to encounter some disequilibrium along the way.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event or workshop
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, join us for our Aug. 25 class on Going with the Flow While Still Getting Things Done! and read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Me getting my groove on with the wonderful women at our April Kripalu Self-Renewal Retreat. I love dance as a metaphor for coming into balance: attuning, responding, shifting, re-prioritizing and harmonizing our inner/outer state. When I want to feel more balanced, I often put on music and just start to move!

Time

This past weekend I attended a Yoga for Wellness workshop at my favorite yoga studio with the beautiful, passionate Italian-born Mirka Kraftsow.

Most think of yoga as a series of postures, but movement or “asana” is only one of the eight limbs of yoga. These past few days, we studied some of the other limbs or teachings of this 5,000 year old philosophy.

After a slow, yummy weekend of gentle movement, meditation, singing, journaling and study of ancient yogic teachings, I just couldn’t bring myself to jump back into “business as usual” Monday morning. So, I took the morning off and created space for contemplation.

Sunday evening as my husband and I sat on our back porch under the stars after my son had gone to bed, I commented, “I have so much to do tomorrow, am I crazy to take 5 hours off tomorrow for spiritual renewal and reflection?” His reply, “Is there anything you have to do that’s really more important?”

I think my strong desire to slow down my “doing” this morning and just “be” (read more from my post on this theme), was my rebellious attempt to in some way suspend time.

One of my favorite things in the world is the opportunity –alone and with my family-- to enjoy expanses of unscheduled time.

So in that vein, I moved slowly … locked “time” in the garden shed with the rusty old tools … made myself a big mug of Moroccan green tea … watched the rain … meditated on the back porch … lit a favorite candle … leisurely reviewed my notes and drawings from the workshop … at some salted cashews … and avoided looking at the clock as much as possible.

In some ways I feel it’s my responsibility-- after attending a rich, deep workshop like this-- to take time off the next day to give these “seeds” some fertilizer, some space to grow before I returned to everyday life. (Nothing like three hours on the computer replying to countless emails to kill a fresh, new idea or perspective!)

One of the Niyamas (a limb of yoga and set of ethical guidelines that when practiced can bring greater awareness and insight to our lives) we explored this past weekend that most deeply resonated with me is Ishvara Pranidhana, which means to surrender. Or, let go of our need to control.

And while I’ve come a long way around control, I still have a long way to go. But I’m noticing the more I can let go—around my son’s food allergies, my husband’s lack of exercise, or scheduling at work—my mind is less busy. My thoughts are fewer and far between. I feel more peaceful and trusting and my overall emotional and spiritual well-being is greatly enhanced. Funny how that happens!?

And, I’m realizing in this moment as I write this, that choosing to chuck my work responsibilities this a.m. and just “let go” was a great way to honor this insight. And hopefully to strengthen it.

Ahhhh, a noise: it’s time. I hear her banging on the old tool shed door. I guess I need to go and let her out. She’s getting impatient. And who knows what would happen if I forgot about her altogether.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our April 29-May 1 Kripalu Self-Renewal Retreat in the Berkshire Mountains of MA
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses, and read my March Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. (Note: This blog post appeared in a similar format in 2010. It is so timely, I had to share it again.)

Painting: Salvador Dali, painter, 1904-1989

Waves

This past weekend, my family headed to the Texas coast for a 48 hour date with Mother Nature.

We have not taken a vacation since my husband was laid off last summer from his software job (he’s on a short-term contract gig right now) and we really needed a break.

In general, we like to take frequent, easy vacations as opposed to one big one, so we’ve really been missing our regular jaunts to New Mexico, Big Bend, the Gulf of Mexico, the Davis Mountains and other favorite southwest U.S. haunts.

The weekend was just what we needed. We saw beautiful pelicans, dolphins, a huge variety of birds (a birding couple had traveled from Australia to Port Aransas to see a rare seagull that was flying through!), turtles, jellyfish, crabs, collected shells during sunrise, ate mahi mahi and shrimp while watching the sunset and enjoyed laughing and being together. My almost 9-year-old son only said he was “bored” twice!

My son and I love to walk on the beach in the early hours of the morning while my husband sleeps in and see what washed ashore while we were sleeping. We both find such delight in exploring the untouched shores barefoot and scanning the wet sand for treasures and sea life.

It’s been a couple of years since we came to the beach as a family. As I trolled up and down the shore with my son, watched the waves crash and fall and felt the magnetic pull of the earth and ocean under my bare feet, I was struck by how different I felt on this visit compared to coast trips I've taken in the past.

The only way I can describe it is to say I feel “quieter” on the inside. And, there’s a heightened unmistakable sense of ease, compassion and self-acceptance present. If I had to guess, I attribute this in large part to a now regular meditation practice. And, a clear intention to more and more release and let go (read more).

That’s not to say that I don’t experience emotional and ups and downs (like the waves I watched with utter fascination as they crashed against the granite jetty!), but my inner “home” is just a bit mellower.

Interesting. It was great to get away. It was great to allow nature to heal us. And, it was nice to know that as my outer body evolves and ages, my inside is evolving, too. Slowly but surely.

I hope you can join us this Thursday, Feb. 24 from 7:30-8:30 p.m. CST for our Live Inside Out Teleclass with my good friend Dianna Amorde on "Love the One You're With ...That's You! Finding Self-Acceptance." Learn more here.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:
>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our 3/4 Lost Pines Women's Self-Renewal Retreat coming up soon (early bird rate ends 2/25; this is our last Texas retreat for a while)
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses and read my February Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photos: Renee Peterson Trudeau, the Gulf of Mexico, February 2011.

I Choose Love

Twelve years ago, right before I got married, I vividly remember living in an apartment in central Austin with my husband-to-be and reading Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.

The book’s messages changed my life. The core theme that I think about everyday is there are only ever two choices in life: love or fear.

Everything we do is either motivated by love--which allows us to trust in the flow of life and expect good to come to us--or fear, which causes us to doubt, constrict and cut ourselves off from others. (Think about it—all expansive feelings are born from love and the scared or worried feelings can always be traced back to fear.)

I choose love.

I want to relax into the flow of life. I want to be open and receptive to those I come in contact with. I want to trust that “the Universe is conspiring in my favor,” and that the days and months ahead will be filled with many good things to come. I want to always feel like there is more than enough for everyone in every situation. I want to always remember that the more I love myself, the more I am able to love and have compassion for those around me. I want to have a soft and open heart.

Don’t you?

I attended a women's appreciation dinner tonight and each of us shared a favorite love poem. I explored bringing a favorite passage from Mary Oliver, Hafiz, Rumi, David Whyte and others, but I kept getting pulled back to the following famous passage from Marianne Williamson (below).

My dad gave this poem to me right before he died suddenly from a heart attack in 1996. I think his final words of wisdom were quite appropos and as I continue to expand into more self-love and self-acceptance daily, I hope I am able to inspire others to do the same. Happy Valentines Day--let your light shine.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond
measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most
frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is
nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure about you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same. As we are
liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.

Marianne Williamson

Photo: This 11x17 reminder is taped squarely on the front of our refrigerator. It helps me remember in some of my hardest moments--often parenting--that I choose love.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend a retreat/event including our 3/4 Lost Pines Retreat coming up soon!
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community; stop by and win a free Valentines Day Retreat package this week.
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Teleclasses and read my February Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Letting Go

As I write the theme for this post in the subject line above, I can feel half my body applauding loudly and the other half saying, “Really?!”

Sitting at my desk at work right now surrounded by tax forms, to-do lists, contracts to review and pistachios--I’m juggling one of our cars being in the shop after a recent costly repair last month, my almost-nine-year-old in total disequilibrium (he confessed this morning he was taking “shots” of chocolate syrup from the fridge after his breakfast didn’t “cut it”), preparing to lead a teleclass this week with my brother, doing a TV interview tomorrow, managing hormonal ups and downs, responding to staff/clients requests, training 2 new staff members who started Monday and preparing for our Jan. 28th Winter Self-Renewal Retreat and several other events immediately following.

My theme for 2011 is playful (different than “playing” –which I do quite a bit).

This theme arose from my deep desire to really take both hands off the wheel and let go in all areas of my life.

I decided that for me, letting go completely would look like being “playful” at work, at home and in relationships. I’ll keep you posted how this unfolds in 2011!

So today, as I was driving back from yoga class, I asked myself what does letting go really look like? Today, it’s:

-Committing to keeping self-care at the top of my list, even on days like today, when I feel stretched way too thin
-Surrendering my relationships with my partner, child and extended family to Spirit—a source much wiser and larger than myself
-Trusting that I will listen, allow synchronicity to unfold and be guided exactly how best to use my talents, energy, time and resources to serve others
-Allowing myself to hit the “reset” button as often as I need to, and begin anew each day
-Remembering that I’m not alone and that asking for help allows me to release control and embrace “good is good enough”

I shudder to think how controlling I was in my twenties (I don’t think I’d want to be friends with her if we were to meet on the street today!).

I got a lot better in my thirties--having Jonah helped with this--and now at 45, I’m really ready to release the need to have things go my way. Because when things "look" like they're going my way, it's all a big illusion anyway. Isn’t it? (If you're in Austin, don't miss the opportunity to see Byron Katie Jan. 28-29. She taught me a lot about control.)

One of the quotes I love that's in The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal and always gets women laughing, is “For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the Universe.” Larry Eisenberg

Baby steps. Keep calm and carry on.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

>Find Your Tribe: Join or become trained to lead Self- Renewal Groups
>Attend my Jan. 28th Self-Renewal Retreat or another retreat/event
>Join the Dialogue on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
>Pick up The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here
>Download FREE Live Inside Out Telelcasses and read my January Life Balance newsletter
>Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
>Empower Others: Schedule Renee Trudeau for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
>Subscribe to my life balance blog The Journey for weekly inspiration

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly. You can subscribe here.

Photo: One of my biggest teachers on the planet on the subject of playfulness: my younger brother Kert, a Qi Gong teacher. You can always count on Kert to find humor and silliness in EVERY situation! In this photo Kert and I (ages four and three) are discussing our next Life Balance Telelcass.

Imagine A World Where ......

A few days before Thanksgiving, I attended a yoga class. As I lay on my back relaxing before the teacher began, I could hear the light, easy, excited chatter in the room. You could feel the anticipation: a holiday break was coming!

Why were we all so happy? Because a holiday usually signals to the body, mind and spirit that you’re about to slow down, to unplug a bit, to spend more time connecting with family and to live at a more “normal pace”--rather than the 24/7 breakneck speed most Americans keep.

It got me thinking … what if we lived in a world where self-care (the concept of attuning and responding to your needs/desires) was an integral part of the fabric of our lives?

What if:
-Your boss approached you when you looked overwhelmed at work and said, “You need to say no to any new projects—you look overworked and you’ve already got too much on your plate.”
-Your kid said, “Forget about basketball practice tonight Mom--you need to stay home this evening and rest, you’ve been doing too much lately. It won’t matter if I miss one night.”
-Your best friend reminded you, “Be extra easy on yourself this week—the anniversary of your dad’s death is coming up, it’s a fragile time for you.”
-Your co-worker told you after you’d been beating yourself up all morning, “Cut yourself some slack about that presentation—it was your first time to deliver the new material, you did great.”
-Your Mom encouraged you, “Ask for help and let others support you—there’s no reason you need to juggle everything on your own. Call on your tribe.”
-Your neighbor reminded you “Practice ‘good is good enough’—the party doesn’t have to be perfect. People would rather have a happy, relaxed host than a sparkling clean home or homemade food.”
-Your husband called to say, “Be gentle with yourself right now, you’re in the middle of a lot of transitions; take a day off for rest and rejuvenation. I’ll pick up some Thai food on my way home and then bathe and put the kids to bed.”

Hmmmm …imagine a world where everywhere we went, we all encouraged one another to slow down, attune to our physical/emotional/spiritual and mental needs and the practice of self-care, self-compassion and self-nurturance became part of our value system. Part of our everyday experience.

It’s hard to envision, isn’t it?

It would have been hard for me to imagine eleven years ago that I would work, live and play the way I do now. (I probably would have called the current, more relaxed Renee-- a “slacker.”)

But what I've come to know after years of mindfully focusing on self-care and all that this has come to mean for me, is that I’m wiser, more prosperous, more focused, more productive and have more fun when I put my needs at the top of my to-do list before supporting and serving those around me.

And, the exciting thing? That those closest to me are beginning to do the same. Ripple on friends …and who knows, maybe a year from now we’ll all live in a world where each of us is a bit more kinder and gentler to our sweet selves than we were before. Imagine that.

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like support for focusing on self-care and learning to slow down and be more present in your everyday life? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, or visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events.

We love to hear from you. Please visit and join our Live Inside Out community to read how people are living more intentionally and share how you do the same.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Pause

I was recently visiting with a friend and reminded her I’d be gone this coming weekend to attend a women’s retreat.

I could see her pause for a while, before she replied (we had just been discussing how challenging it can be on a family when one of the parents is unemployed and looking for work).

I signed up for this retreat quite a while ago, and thankfully, it’s very affordable. But her reaction got me thinking about ALL the reasons I’m such an advocate for retreats (read more) and why I not only lead them, I regularly take them--no matter what is going on in my life.

1. As Stephen Cope, director of Kripalu’s Institute for Extraordinary Living so eloquently states: “Retreats don’t change our lives as much as they change where we stand in relationship to our lives—and our capacity to see the hidden possibilities there.” Retreats challenge--and change-my perspective, usually radically.
2. Getting out of my normal environment and day-to-day routine and going somewhere new and different while I’m examining my life and career direction, has a HUGE effect on my well-being.
3. I look at a retreat as a “heavy date” with myself. It’s an opportunity to invest in my inner life---to really pull back, pause and get clear on what matters most.
4. Whenever I come back from a retreat—whether it’s a one day solo retreat or a week-long guided experience—I’m always amazed at how calm, wise, grounded and clear I feel. For me, taking a retreat is like hitting the “re-set” button.
5. In this age of digital overwhelm, one of the things I crave is the ability to really “unplug.” Retreats allow me to tap into my creative, free-thinking right-brain hemisphere and give my busy, multi-tasking left brain (and inbox) a break! And, I’m always amazed at how often I leave retreats with solutions to problems.
6. Retreats for me are a way for me to visit the “well” and replenish my energy reserves (physical/emotional/spiritual and mental).
7. The break and time with other women feels supportive, validating and is always a great reminder that I’m not alone. In some way, we’re all grappling with the same challenges and we all desire the same things. For me, retreats affirm our interconnectedness and remind me we really are all one.
8. Stepping away and slowing down allows me to reconnect to my body’s rhythms and get in touch with what it is I most need—physically and emotionally.
9. And most importantly, retreats really allow me to connect with my “wise self”—to tap into my inner wisdom and guidance and to really feel my connection to Spirit. They remind me about the importance of trusting in that which is greater than myself.

I’ve taken retreats for about ten years now and they’ve become central to my emotional and spiritual renewal.

Like many, my October is quite full (actually too full). But over the years, I’ve learned that this is exactly when I most need to take a retreat. And pause.

If you live in Texas (or are able to fly into Austin), consider joining me Friday, Nov. 5th at Lost Pines Hyatt Resort and Spa (on 400 acres on the Colorado River) at my Reflect, Reclaim, Re-Balance One Day Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat. It might just change your life. Or at the very least, your perspective on life.

FIND YOUR TRIBE, ATTEND A RETREAT/WORKSHOP OR JOIN THE DIALOGUE: Would you like to receive support from like-minded women and be with people who hold the highest and best for you? Join or become trained to facilitate a Personal Renewal Group, visit our calendar to learn more about upcoming events including our November 5th One-Day Reflect, Reclaim, Re-Balance Women's One-Day Self-Renewal Retreat (early bird ends 10/23).

Also, check out our Live Inside Out community and read how people are living more intentionally.

The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Renee Trudeau--Julia Pfeiffer State Park, Big Sur, CA.