What Are Weekends For?

For the last few months I’ve been working a lot (read more). Often this has involved working straight through the weekend in order to meet key deadlines related to my book launch.

If you know me, you'll vouch that this isn’t my norm. I crave and savor my weekends and don’t like giving up my sacred Friday to Sunday evening sabbatical one bit!

So last Friday afternoon, after an especially intense week, I paused, tuned in and asked myself what I most needed. The answer: a juicy date night out with my sweetheart and a weekend totally --in every way--unplugged.

It was dee-vine. I spent a lot of time outdoors ... barefoot. Enjoyed spontaneous family activities. Made lentil soup (because I wanted to!). Had a hot date with my hubby. And didn't get on my computer or any digital devices once. Monday morning I was singing like a bird. I had given myself what I most needed. My cup was full. 

Sadly, most families share they're plugged in all weekend (I recently heard a statistic that Facebook experiences the highest volume of traffic on Sunday morning). Many share that on Monday morning they're exhausted from their hectic weekend pace and slaving to never-ending to-do lists. To varying degrees, we can all relate.

What are weekends for? When was the last time you did exactly what you wanted over a weekend break? Stop and reflect for a minute, what do you most need this upcoming weekend?

We all desperately need time totally devoted to resting our bodies and our brains (solid science backs this up). We need space to unravel, unwind and come down from the stress of living in a 24/7 plugged-in world. We need downtime to integrate all that we're experiencing during the week---emotionally, cognitively and spiritually. To remember that life is a mystery to be lived, not a thing to be managed. Weekends should be primarily for rejuvenation and rest-—not for getting stuff done. We’re more than our to-do lists. And for someone who is continually challenged around being and doing (read more), I'm clearer now, more than ever, that I need Friday evening through Sunday night to just BE.

Interested in some support for releasing old habits and stepping into a new way of being? My newest life balance title Nurturing the Soul of Your Family: 10 Ways to Reconnect and Find Peace in Everyday Life is available for pre-order now at a 30% discount. Live in Texas? Save March 20 from 6-9 p.m. for an unforgettable evening of self-renewal for parents as we celebrate the launch of my new baby (details here!).
 
 Wondering how you can work with me and my team?

• Join or become certified to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups and retreats for women (OUR INTRO. PRICE ENDS SUNDAY FEB. 3--learn more) 
• Sign up for a retreat or online class  or check out all our life balance resources
• Get 1-on-1 support:  contact one of our career or life balance coaches for individual support; receive an initial complimentary consult
• Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization 

Subscribe to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo: One of my favorite spots is relaxing in my hammock chair on my back patio with a tall glass of hibiscus mint tea. I love to hear our water fountain, birds singing and the occasional laughter of kids on bikes riding by our house. 

My 7 Favorite Birthday Presents

January is not my favorite month. I don't like the cold, I love and need lots of sunshine and my birthday--January 7--often brings with it an array of emotions, which often include sadness around not having my mom and dad around to tell me about the day I was born.

But with all of that, the month also brings the opportunity for reflection and contemplation about the previous year (including things that "went wrong") and the lessons in truth I received from the last 365 days.

My 46th year was all about expansion and growth (mostly professional), a theme I see continuing into my 47th year. This morning as I sat quietly on my yoga mat, I took some time to pause and acknowledge the many gifts I received last year, including:

• Fantastic opportunities for training and development and the reminder of how much I love to learn (thank you to all my great Montessori guides from my formative years!). I got a crash course in publishing in the new economy through signing with a new literary agent and wonderful publisher (whose clients include Eckhart Tolle!) to bring forth my newest life balance title, stretched myself to embrace new ways of working and communicating, played with new teaching methodologies, hired staff with new skill sets and will be launching a new web site in early February to better serve my clients and community.
• A new relationship with technology and being more open to how this pervasive force can be a servant to my larger purpose and mission, as opposed to becoming the master over my time. (If you get my blog regularly, you know how much I abhor being online and how I am constantly looking for ways I can be more unplugged; read more.) Thanks Jen Lemen for being one of my teachers in this arena!
• Being reminded of the power of friendships (read more) and how essential it is for me as a big extrovert and one who needs lots of time to play, to make sure I have belly time with girlfriends who nurture me stays near the top of my self-care list. I have also  been reminded of how interconnected we all are through my many new heart-centered friendships with "sisters" who live thousands of miles away--this has been like finding hundred dollar bills at the bottom of my sock drawer!
• The revelation that even though I have been teaching (and practicing) self-acceptance and the power that can come from our willingness to be vulnerable, for years, I still have a loooonnng way to go. (Nothing like putting on your auto responder on for months at a time, dedicating thousands of hours to a new book and stretching yourself to your limit professionally, spiritually and financially to have this revealed!). Holding it together is extremely overrated --read more.
• A deeper understanding of the unbelievable wisdom and power of the BODY! I've always been a fan of somatic (body-centered) coaching, but having delved more deeply into this realm in 2012--including training with yoga and mood guru Amy Weintraub and become a certified Level I iRest Yoga Nidra teacher through Richard Miller-- I'm convinced more than ever that 100% of us would experience profound life-changing shifts if we spent more time connecting with our breath, building in time for conscious movement (qi gong, yoga, mindful walks, etc.), befriending our magical, amazing bodies and understanding that every day we get to spend in them is a gift beyond words.
• The realization that I'm not as direct as I thought I was and how much energy we waste when we don't say exactly what we mean, need and feel. It's amazing how much bandwidth is freed up when we practice totally direct (sometimes radical) honesty with ourselves and others. One of my favorite questions from 2012 I've been asking myself and my retreat attendees is, "What truth about ________(fill in the blank)_______am I refusing to hear--or see?"
• The wisdom that as I move into the second half of my life, I am much more interested in who I want to be in the world than what I want to do or accomplish. We just returned from my mother-in-law's funeral services in MA. My husband, son and I stood in line with the rest of his family at the wake for more than 3 hours straight to receive condolences from hundreds of family, friends, community members and fans of Mary Margaret Trudeau's from around the state. They shared how she always took time to stop and talk to them, to hear about their life and to connect. In our family, when we start doing the to-do list tango, we often pause and remind each other, "People first, things second." I'm now sitting quietly with what this looks like for me as I explore who I want to "be" in the second half of my life.

These were indeed the best birthday presents ever, and as I move into the year of magic (my theme for 2013), I feel incredibly grateful to have the awareness that I get to choose how I live, love and work and continually explore new ways of being. 

I wish my mom and dad were around to read my new book, but I take great comfort in knowing that their wisdom and personal journeys infuse many of its pages. 

Wondering how you can work with me and my team?

• Join or become certified to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups and retreats for women (our introductory price ends Jan. 31st--learn more) 
• Sign up for a retreat or online class  or check out all our life balance resources
• Get 1-on-1 support:  contact one of our career or life balance coaches for individual support; receive an initial complimentary consult
• Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization 

Subscribe to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo: The lotus garden outside of the meditation room at Omega Institute. I attended family week there with my son in August (amazing) and hope to be teaching there next year. Another wonderful gift from 2012!

Bring on the Magic!!

Every year in January since I was about 30, I have created a vision board--basically a visual snapshot of what you want to experience in your life (athletes and top entertainers do this all the time to help them focus on and meet their goals). Martha Beck--life coach extraordinaire shares here on why vision boards can be so powerful and how to create your own.

Last year I didn't do a vision board. I just forgot. But this year, thanks to my good friend women's empowerment diva Deb Kern for creating the space for this to happen, I did.

Everyone approaches vision boards differently, but I like to choose one word that captures how I want to feel or what I want to experience in the coming year.

This year my word is MAGIC, which I'm defining as having other-worldly, "pinch me," fantastic, supernatural occurrences unfold on a regular basis. 

Why? Professionally, I've got a superhuman job in front of me over the course of the next 5 months (a new book launch and two other large scale projects--any one of which is enough to send someone over the cliff's edge) and I know that in order to move into and through this period of incredible growth and expansion AND keep both my sanity and sense of joy--I'm going to have to have the unimaginable become common place.

One of the ways I am already experiencing MAGIC unfolding is through the amazing support that's flooding in from top-notch professionals, experts and colleagues (that was fast, I just finished my board on Wednesday!) Look forward to much more where that came from.

Got a word or mantra you want to invite into your New Year? Share it on our Live Inside Out Facebook community. It's fun to read what others are focusing on and to imagine us all collectively creating the most delicious stew imaginable as we pour our intentions into my big orange Le Creuset pot. I'll make the cornbread and salad, join me later this month for supper?

Wondering what we do and how you can work with me and my team?

• Join or become certified to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups and retreats for women (our introductory price ends Jan. 31st--learn more) 
• Sign up for a retreat or online class  or check out all our life balance resources
  
• Get 1-on-1 support:  contact one of our career or life balance coaches for individual support; receive an initial complimentary consult
• Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization 

Subscribe to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo: my 2013 MAGIC vision board.

People First, Things Second

As a life balance teacher, I'm always questioning how I can help myself and others come into greater equilibrium--not just around work and life, but around feeling and thinking, being and doing, and giving and receiving.

Yesterday morning I found myself standing in my front doorway staring out at a beautiful oak tree. Bathed in sunlight, I held a cup of lemon ginger tea in one hand and my to-do list in the other.

 

I was waiting for a friend that I was helping out of a financial jam, and beginning to wonder how crucial this hot list of tasks I was holding--that had seemed so important earlier in the day--really were. 
 

The moment felt big and pregnant (ever have those?) and I had the strong sensation that I was being asked to stop everything … and become present to what life was trying to tell me.

 

Over the last few days, I’ve been surrounded by close friends and dear acquaintances who are struggling with big stuff. Life or death stuff. Fork in the road stuff. Questions that don’t have easy or quick answers stuff.

 

One of my son’s teachers lost her 19 year-old son in a fatal car accident right before Thanksgiving (this touched me deeply as my brother was the same age when he died). A close colleague is struggling financially to pay even her basic bills. Another friend has been battling depression and is in limbo around her life purpose and direction. One of my childhood friends is navigating the holidays with her kids after the loss of her husband 5 months ago. Another dear friend, a mother to two young kids, is working herself to the bone and having a hard time seeing a way out of a never ending cycle of overwork.

 

Standing here, frozen in this moment, I'm racked with the questions, "What can I do? How can I best help?" And as I write personal notes to them, leave messages and emails, offer prayers and resources--I'm reminded that this work, however small and insignificant it may feel--is more important than any task, deadline or to-do. Being here for each other is the most important thing there is.

 

So my prayer as I move through December--a time when we're all a bit more tender--is “Guide me how to best serve and help my brothers and sisters who are in my life right now." Because we don't have to go to Africa or a low-income area or a disadvantaged school to find people in need.

 

Help is needed right here, right now and often those whose paths we cross daily are hurting and in dire need of a kind word or deed. But unless we drop the "Gotta get it done" mentality long enough to be fully present and *really* see those around us, we'll miss the call for help altogether. Like I almost did this past week.

Have you heard about the I CHOOSE LOVE public service campaign? It's a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more and order a tshirt (at cost).

I love to hear from, connect with and meet Live Inside Out readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this spring or hire Renee to create one for your group
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• Subscribe to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Note: this post was modified from a post that ran in December 2011. It felt especially timely right now.

Let's Infect the World...with Love

Yesterday, sitting arm to arm with my husband in the sanctuary of our church, I found myself wiping away tears every few minutes. My heart was swollen--it physically ached. At the end of the service while singing Angels We Have Heard on High, I could barely look at the group of young boys and girls gathered at the front of the room without sobbing.

I realized that this was the first time I had allowed myself to truly feel the depth of emotion Friday's shooting in Newtown, CT had stirred within me.

"Can you imagine how much pain this poor boy must have been in to feel his only course was to act out in this way?" our spiritual director Tim said during our service on Sunday. "The world is not a bad place, but it is sick. And it needs healing."

While violence like this seems so ugly and unimaginable it leaves most of us paralyzed, feeling helpless and hopeless about how we can help-- what I know in every cell of my being is that when one of us chooses love over fear we infect our entire collective "body." When one of us prays or holds the vision for larger healing--we are all affected (read more from medical pioneer Dr. Larry Dossey's research on the power of prayer).

So what can we do in these coming days and weeks--besides praying and lighting candles--to soothe our country's torn heart and to nurture our collective soul? We can remember that we're more interconnected than we could ever imagine and that when one of us puts loving kindness and compassion at the forefront of our lives, we all benefit.

December Challenge: Want to "do something" to infect the world with more love and compassion and send healing to your brothers and sisters in CT? Get off your butt and see who in your community needs your help. Call your local United Way or ask your friends/co-workers who needs help in your community. Or, just pause and look around you. Take the time and effort to reach out to a friend, colleague or neighbor who is struggling and could use some emotional support (read more). I have been so busy preparing to launch my new book, I had cancelled our annual volunteer trip to serve the homeless Christmas dinner through the wonderful Mobile Loaves & Fishes. But this morning, I changed our RSVP from "too busy, I'm sending a check," to "we'll be there with pies in hand and are available all evening." 
  
I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this spring or hire Renee to create one for your group
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• Subscribe to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo: Serving the homeless and healing the world bit by bit.

Can I Be Grateful for What's Not Going My Way?

Sunday morning I woke up excited and looking forward to attending my good friend’s community potluck and documentary viewing when I discovered the keys to my car were in the glove compartment of my locked car and my husband--who had the second set—was out for the morning with our son. Fully dressed, coconut honey-lime fruit salad in hand, I realized my morning plans had just taken a giant nosedive—I was going nowhere.

There have been many times in my life when I’ve perceived things were going “wrong” (not my way) and later it turned out they were exactly perfect. BUT the other day—in the middle of a giant funk---I wondered, where can I find gratitude for what’s not going my way right now.

Today, I’m feeling called to pause and gratefully acknowledge (with just the tiniest bit of resentment):

• the business systems within my organization that no longer work and are asking to be reformed
• on-the-job inefficiencies that make you feel as if you want to pull your hair out
• family and relationship struggles and miscommunication that seem unnecessary
• learning in a way that feels “hard” (you know what I mean)

Why am I celebrating these frustrations? Because even though the silver lining from these hardships has yet to be revealed, my greatest learning--and growth--has come from mistakes, because the pearls that have come to me from living in the unknown have changed my life, and because I know that the ability to “reset” and start each day fresh and new is a gift unto itself. These struggles are calling me to develop a level of discernment unlike any I’ve had before and offering me the chance to really step into new ways of being.

Am I dealing with some things that are uncomfortable, challenging and messy right now? Yep.  Am I open to the growth that may come from these? Yeah (at least I think so).

What about you? Are you watching old systems, structures or ways of being topple to the ground and beg to be re-imagined or rebuilt?  I thought so. We’re all drinking from the same well.

Sending us all lots of compassion and courage as we stretch into the highest versions of who we are over the next month. And the next time you have a flat tire or life throws you a real sucker punch, pause and see if you can find even the tiniest seed of gratitude in the middle of seeming disaster.

P.S. Self-employed, live in Texas and ready for a new way of being with your business? I have a couple of spots left for my 12/14 Envision, Align, Expand: 2013 Visioning Retreat.(ony offered twice a year!).
 
I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this spring or hire Renee to create one for your group
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo: a pumpkin cheesecake that didn't out as expected.

Abundance Muffins

“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.” ~ Wayne Dyer

Last Friday I gathered with some colleagues for an afternoon personal planning retreat.

As everyone was arriving, my friend Susan walked in the door and handed me a bag of my favorite treat—dried tart cherries from Whole Foods (I had asked her earlier in the day to pick some up for the group if she went to the store). Without thinking, I put up my hand, shoeing the cherries away, "I actually already bought some earlier today. You can keep them, I don't need them."

A few minutes later after we each shared our intentions for our retreats, I thought, "What did I just do?!"  My dear friend had gone to the trouble to pick these up and was offering them to me as a gift. What was I thinking turning them away?! 

It got my wheels turning. How many times has abundance come knocking at my door but I turned her away because … I didn't recognize her clothing … she came at an inconvenient time … or I was too tired to get up and answer the door.

Yeah, this was just dried fruit, but I began to wonder, how often do all of us ask for something we desire and actually put energy into thinking what it would be like to have it--only to turn it away because it didn't arrive in the way or at the time we had expected?

The other day I introduced Neal, a long-time friend, to a wonderful woman I had met recently at a workshop. I thought they'd really hit it off and had a lot in common--one of those shared traits being they're both single and very interested in meeting their life partner. But Neal replied to my email introduction, "Thanks Renee, but this isn't really how I usually meet friends. I like to connect with people on my own. Appreciate this--but I'll pass."

This month I've been reflecting a lot on this idea of abundance and the different ways we experience this. I had an ah-ha the other day that rather than being irritated about how much work I have coming at me right now, I could be grateful for the abundance of opportunities knocking on my door! (I know from personal experience that the more I am grateful for what I have and am experiencing--the more the good grows!)

The next day after our planning retreat, I made some cherry-pecan muffins--we called them Abundance Muffins--from the dried cherries I had insisted on Susan leaving after I came to my senses and thanked her! That morning as I stirred the batter with love, pouring in vanilla and adding cinnamon, I made a quiet promise to myself to be more aware of all the ways abundance may be coming into my life that I'm missing or refusing to see.
 
Later that morning my family went to a soccer game, took a walk in our neighborhood, saw an art show and visited with friends. But if you paid close attention, you would have seen small plastic bags of  something yummy-looking being shared with everyone we met. Yep, you guessed it—Abundance Muffins for all! Didn’t get any? No worries, you can make some of your own to share with your friends and neighbors. 

Here's hoping we all start taking closer notice of the many ways abundance and love are showing up at our doorsteps each and every day.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this spring or hire Renee to create one for your group
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.
  

Photo: Cherry pecan Abundance Muffins. Mine were gluten-free (I just subbed Pamela's baking mix) and were dee-lish!