My 7 Favorite Birthday Presents

January is not my favorite month. I don't like the cold, I love and need lots of sunshine and my birthday--January 7--often brings with it an array of emotions, which often include sadness around not having my mom and dad around to tell me about the day I was born.

But with all of that, the month also brings the opportunity for reflection and contemplation about the previous year (including things that "went wrong") and the lessons in truth I received from the last 365 days.

My 46th year was all about expansion and growth (mostly professional), a theme I see continuing into my 47th year. This morning as I sat quietly on my yoga mat, I took some time to pause and acknowledge the many gifts I received last year, including:

• Fantastic opportunities for training and development and the reminder of how much I love to learn (thank you to all my great Montessori guides from my formative years!). I got a crash course in publishing in the new economy through signing with a new literary agent and wonderful publisher (whose clients include Eckhart Tolle!) to bring forth my newest life balance title, stretched myself to embrace new ways of working and communicating, played with new teaching methodologies, hired staff with new skill sets and will be launching a new web site in early February to better serve my clients and community.
• A new relationship with technology and being more open to how this pervasive force can be a servant to my larger purpose and mission, as opposed to becoming the master over my time. (If you get my blog regularly, you know how much I abhor being online and how I am constantly looking for ways I can be more unplugged; read more.) Thanks Jen Lemen for being one of my teachers in this arena!
• Being reminded of the power of friendships (read more) and how essential it is for me as a big extrovert and one who needs lots of time to play, to make sure I have belly time with girlfriends who nurture me stays near the top of my self-care list. I have also  been reminded of how interconnected we all are through my many new heart-centered friendships with "sisters" who live thousands of miles away--this has been like finding hundred dollar bills at the bottom of my sock drawer!
• The revelation that even though I have been teaching (and practicing) self-acceptance and the power that can come from our willingness to be vulnerable, for years, I still have a loooonnng way to go. (Nothing like putting on your auto responder on for months at a time, dedicating thousands of hours to a new book and stretching yourself to your limit professionally, spiritually and financially to have this revealed!). Holding it together is extremely overrated --read more.
• A deeper understanding of the unbelievable wisdom and power of the BODY! I've always been a fan of somatic (body-centered) coaching, but having delved more deeply into this realm in 2012--including training with yoga and mood guru Amy Weintraub and become a certified Level I iRest Yoga Nidra teacher through Richard Miller-- I'm convinced more than ever that 100% of us would experience profound life-changing shifts if we spent more time connecting with our breath, building in time for conscious movement (qi gong, yoga, mindful walks, etc.), befriending our magical, amazing bodies and understanding that every day we get to spend in them is a gift beyond words.
• The realization that I'm not as direct as I thought I was and how much energy we waste when we don't say exactly what we mean, need and feel. It's amazing how much bandwidth is freed up when we practice totally direct (sometimes radical) honesty with ourselves and others. One of my favorite questions from 2012 I've been asking myself and my retreat attendees is, "What truth about ________(fill in the blank)_______am I refusing to hear--or see?"
• The wisdom that as I move into the second half of my life, I am much more interested in who I want to be in the world than what I want to do or accomplish. We just returned from my mother-in-law's funeral services in MA. My husband, son and I stood in line with the rest of his family at the wake for more than 3 hours straight to receive condolences from hundreds of family, friends, community members and fans of Mary Margaret Trudeau's from around the state. They shared how she always took time to stop and talk to them, to hear about their life and to connect. In our family, when we start doing the to-do list tango, we often pause and remind each other, "People first, things second." I'm now sitting quietly with what this looks like for me as I explore who I want to "be" in the second half of my life.

These were indeed the best birthday presents ever, and as I move into the year of magic (my theme for 2013), I feel incredibly grateful to have the awareness that I get to choose how I live, love and work and continually explore new ways of being. 

I wish my mom and dad were around to read my new book, but I take great comfort in knowing that their wisdom and personal journeys infuse many of its pages. 

Wondering how you can work with me and my team?

• Join or become certified to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups and retreats for women (our introductory price ends Jan. 31st--learn more) 
• Sign up for a retreat or online class  or check out all our life balance resources
• Get 1-on-1 support:  contact one of our career or life balance coaches for individual support; receive an initial complimentary consult
• Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization 

Subscribe to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo: The lotus garden outside of the meditation room at Omega Institute. I attended family week there with my son in August (amazing) and hope to be teaching there next year. Another wonderful gift from 2012!

Holding it Together is Overrated

I'm the oldest of seven, the product of overachievers, a hyper-competent, perpetual "woman who always has answers and knows where she's going," the go-to girl--the one who seems to always have it together. 

Lately I'm questioning how this affects me--what is the price I pay for stepping into this personae? Yes, I've come a long way, I've let a lot of perfectionist tendencies drop, am less controlling than before and am a big advocate for the "good is good enough" message--but what would it look like for me to be MORE vulnerable? To be less prepared, less polished, more messy and human than I have ever been before?

It takes a lot of energy to told it together. My yoga teacher Jenn shared a story about a photographer who shot Salvador Dali over a stretch of five minutes (with time-lapsed breaks in between). Seeing Dali go back and forth between "DALI!" and a tired, slightly slumped over normal guy in a chair was fascinating. It showed how much energy it took for the artist to be on stage, in personae--to "hold it together."

Two of my close friends are going through hard times (one may lose her house, the other is navigating a rocky divorce). We've been talking about how essential it is for them--for all of us-- to allow ourselves to come undone, feel our feelings, turn into puddles, ask for help and be vulnerable--in order to transform into who we're meant to be ... next. 
 
Author Brene Brown (The Gifts of Imperfection) says, "What fuels this unattainable need to look like we always have it all together? At first glance we might think it’s because we admire perfection, but that’s not the case. We are actually the most attracted to people we consider to be authentic and down-to-earth. We love people who are 'real' – we’re drawn to those who both embrace their imperfections and radiate self-acceptance."

I just returned with my son from a week at Omega Institute--nestled on 500 hilly acres in Rhinebeck, NY. It was amazing; he was in Architecture Camp for Kids while I Danced My Bliss. Towards the end of the week we dropped into a lunch session with singer/songwriter David Wilcox for some Music Medicine (short, original, spontaneous pieces written to soothe/inspire your heart and spirit). My son asked David for a song about "relaxing and feeling free," and what followed was one of most beautiful, heart-wrenching pieces of songwriting I've heard in quite a while. As I listened to David's lyrics about Jonah running with his friends like the wind through the woods, I felt tears run down my face.

What is the price that those around us--those we love most--pay when we feel we must "hold it together" or maintain our vision for how we think things "should be?" Don't we all desire to let go and feel more free?

Actress Elizabeth Shue said, “I understand now that the vulnerability I've always felt is the greatest strength a person can have. You can't experience life without feeling life. What I've learned is that being vulnerable is not a weakness, it's a strength.”

My intention for the next few weeks is to be more vulnerable, to make more mistakes, to put myself out there as unfinished, a work in progress, maybe even clueless--and to hopefully--maybe for a minute--inspire a few others to consider doing the same. I'll let you know how it goes.

INVITE: Interested in learning how to Find Your Center? Join me Oct. 19-21 for our New Way of Being: Women's Self-Renewal Retreat if you want to join us at the beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Wellness in Massachusetts! Peak leaf turning time! I'd love to hold the space for you to rest, connect with your needs and desires--and hear what your Wise Self most wants you to know.

I love to hear from, connect with and meet The Journey readers at our events. I invite you to:

• Find Your Tribe: Join or learn to facilitate Personal Renewal Groups for women
• Attend a retreat/event this fall or spring
• Learn about Live Inside Out and receive weekly inspiration on our Live Inside Out Facebook Community
• Pick up my life balance title The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal from the library or buy it here or at your local bookstore
• Read past issues of my Life Balance newsletter or Career Management newsletter
• Take Action: Contact one of our career or life balance coaches for 1-on-1 support; receive an initial complimentary consultation
• Empower Others: Schedule Renee for a private workshop or retreat for your company or organization
• I Choose Love PSA: a reminder that when we come from love--one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet--we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we're really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more

Subscribe to The Journey, a weekly blog about coach/author/speaker Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to creating balance from the inside out.

Photo at top: Are you willing to let yourself be unfinished, to fall apart, to come undone?